"Okay, System, hit me with it. Open the [Inventory]."

I won't pretend that I hated Hoards & Monsters. The only reason I didn't play it much was because there was nobody to play with. I owe my nerdiness, it's not an issue.

Still, I never expected to play a cheap knockoff copy of this tabletop RPG, made by a literal Goddess. All this in another world while possessing her body. Can it get any more ridiculous than this?

[Notice: Items worn or in active use by your character won't show in this space.]

She could have said that the [Inventory] was empty. Other than the tunic and skirt, the Goddess left me with nothing. Oh, and the pebble, that fell back to the ground once her soul left it in a flash.

As strange as it sounds, it looked more like a mask with an actual facial expression than a thick slab of granite now.

[Notice: You can equip this Sentient Mask to hide your identity.]

"Didn't she say it was a golem?" Well, whatever. Hiding is a sensible idea. If people are after Alexandra, they won't wait until I explain everything. This is only her body and not the droids you're looking for.

[Notice: The term 'Golem' only refers to an item that has a level of magical autonomy.]

[A spoon that can walk or a mask that changes shapes can also fall under the 'Golem' category.]

"Okay, but she said this was her servant or something."

[Notice: The artifact no longer functions as a servant. When the Goddess possessed it, she burned out the original mana circuits.]

Unsurprising, that girl breaks everything. Says someone who almost died five times on the first day of school. What came over me?

"So what's the difference between a Golem and a Homunculus?" In a few minutes, it became obvious that the System wouldn't answer generic questions.

But as long as I asked something specific she was happy to explain anything.

It sounded artificial, but she had no problem conversing, no matter how often I changed the topic. Did she program something like this in a year? No, what's more important how did this thing run?

Did she turn my brain into a supercomputer with a magical wave? It's not like she had a hand to wave with, that's why the homunculus failed.

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

[Notice: Golems are inorganic, driven by magic. They always count as magical creatures.]

[Homonculii are living, organic lifeforms. Their creation almost always involves magic, but the result isn't always magical.]

Of course, the simple fact that it explained everything didn't mean I would understand it.

This world had so much to offer that I couldn't imagine with my Earth brain.

"So one is like a figurine that can move, and the other is like a baby born from artificial insemination?"

[Error: Cannot compute.]

Victory! It's not the first time I ask something that returns an error, rather than a usable answer.

It usually happens when it's related to my world and isn't an everyday term. If the Goddess told the truth, she only spent a year there.

Even if she was a genius to figure out programming from scratch she couldn't learn everything.

"Okay, what about the [Attributes]?" Since the System booted up, there has been no character generation.

Or any of the fun parts I used to play on my own, but it seemed unlikely that Alexandra would leave out the nerdy bits.

[Character Name: Leona] [Race, Class, Level: Beastfolk (Feline), Harem Warrior, Lvl 1]

[Str: 12] [Dex: 18] [Con: 16] [Int: 14] [Wis: 14] [Cha: 16] [HP: 80/80] [MP: 70/70]

"Okay, if she uses the same stat range as H&M, this is decent for a level one character." Still, a Harem Warrior? Wasn't she a magician, or a Goddess or something?

And the race is a Feline Beastfolk, not human. This explains the cat ears and one more thing I discovered.

A big, black, fluffy tail. It is so silky that I'm losing it. And her hair too, it's crazy. This body is a walking, talking sex bomb.

Even her voice is so sensual, and I can hear it whenever I want. It's mine until she figures out how to make a homunculus and transport me home.

Do I even want that? To go back into that mundane world and that average body? Other than the feline parts, her female parts are praiseworthy too.

She has round ass and long, tight thighs. And I mean long, like a Sunday without soup.

She isn't even taller than me, it's the ratios.

The breasts are amazing. They aren't as heavy as I expected, and whenever they get in the way it's a new, novel feeling that makes me blush.

I took a peek under the tunic too, both to inspect her round nipples, and what interested me even more was her midriff.

Is it only me? The flatness, the curves, the tautness. I wish I had a stomach like her back home.

And that was the only part of me I could work on, even if it never came close to this.

"It's not fair. System, is it possible to run away with this body, rather than giving it back to her?"

[Error: Cannot compute.]

One can only dream.

Would she be mad if I... No, let's not go there yet.

"So whose stats are these? Do I roleplay as her?"

[Notice: Rather than random rolls, the System calculated the real stats of the user.]

[The body belongs to the Goddess of Luck, Alexandra, the Thirteenth Bride. Thus the physical stats come from her side, while the soul belongs to Leona, providing mental ones.]

Why does it sound like the worst of both worlds?

"And what is a Harem Warrior?" When I hear the word Harem, I imagine a different kind of fight than what warriors do.

[Notice: To be the Demon Lord's Wife means more than a political alliance or breeding. He selects his Harem members considering both beauty and prowess.]

What kind of sick fuck is this Demon Lord guy? Let's hope I won't have to put up with his bullshit.