"What? He's invincible?" I asked, stunned. "What the hell kind of tutorial is this?"
Jon looked at me as if I was being an idiot. "Skull King isn't actually meant to die in this battle. It's one of those early boss fights where no matter how well you do, they kick your ass. Don't worry about it. You're supposed to fight him later at like level 20. Like I said, I never followed the main quest. I am my own man."
"Silence," Ania said, making a slicing gesture across her neck. Which didn't strike me as the way you should tell someone to shut up unless you were a psychopath. "This is a graveyard for heroes, Imposter."
"He said it," I said, pointing to Jon. "Also, I really wish you wouldn't call me that."
Ania shook her head and turned back to the castle, her gaze showing a haunted look that I'd only seen on my cousin, Alek. He'd been a part of the NATO forces in Afghanistan and had seen some shit. It was weird to compare a character I'd previously only known from fiction dealing with such raw emotions, but I sympathized. Or tried to. I couldn't imagine what Ania was thinking since this was her home. One that she'd apparently seen attacked multiple times and getting worse each time.
I only knew the Dragon Keep media but seeing it like this was still a punch in the gut. It was like seeing someone go through the New Zealand Lord of the Rings sets and burning them before taking a giant dump on Bag End. Except with more corpses.
"It's the smell that gets me every time. Why can birds even smell? We don't have noses. I mean, we have nostrils but it’s just not the same," Jon said, pointing out an element of my surroundings I'd been judiciously ignoring. It was like steamed pork mixed with a lot of other nastier smells ranging from rotting meat to excrement. Seriously, battlefields stunk. Especially ones full of undead.
Ania put away her bow and pulled out her katana to wave. "Valentin Velesson, Skull King, I call upon you! Dark Demigod and Pillager of the Vistula, Enemy of Man, and Paladin of Death! We have danced this dance before, and you have escaped each time! Bring me Lord Emberly and let us fight once more! You may yet scurry off to fight again!"
"See?" Jon said, nodding. "She knows the drill. This is not meant to be where you die. Like only two other players never made it past the tutorial. Don't worry."
I very much was worried because an enormous knight wearing black armor decorated in bones came out on a gigantic demon steed with glowing red eyes as well as black bat-like wings. If I wasn't dating myself too much, he reminded me most of General Kael from 1988's Willow. Basically, Darth Vader with a skull mask. Except this guy was about eight feet tall on a horse that was proportionately larger. Strapped on the back of Skull King's monster steed was a crumpled over black cloaked figure that I assumed to be Lord Emberly.
The Skull King pulled out his sword from behind his back, which I'd been told dozens of times was a stupid place to store your weapon, and watched it light up with blue-white fire. Some stupid media obsessed portion of my brain started playing John Parr's "Saint Elmo's Fire" in the back of my head and I was just glad the bracelet wasn't following suit. Both my bracelet and Ania's were playing ominous music, though, like something from Basil Poledouris' Conan the Barbarian score. It made me assume that we would never ever be able to sneak up on anyone. Which was a shame since I'd heard they'd been planning to introduce stealth mechanics to DU 4.
"Yet another child is sent by Perun's voice to die," The Skull King said in a voice that sounded like he'd stuffed his mouth full of gravel before putting it on a speaker. Seriously, the guy sounded like Ron Pearlman with a voice modulator. "You have crossed worlds and time to meet your death, boy. Your blood will nourish the hungry spirits and bring my father one step closer to unleashing the Unmaking."
"Is he talking to me?" I asked Jon.
"Yes, dumbass," Jon said. "You're the main character."
"You speak to me, Skull King!" Ania said, seriously insulted by his presence. "Not the man wearing my brother's visage."
Okay, that was a creepy way of phrasing that. "Yeah, you're speaking to her!"
Jon covered his beak with both wings, clearly ashamed of being in my company.
"A stolen rhinegold bracelet does not a hero make, Daughter of House Rose!" The Skull King said. "Dress as a man and kill as an assassin you may but your destiny has always been to take more lives than you save. You are a bent, broken, and sullied wretch of woman that no man would have even as a slave. Go back to the hole you had been hiding in or die among those your brother failed to protect."
Okay, wow, that guy was an ass.
Ania, at least, wasn't intimidated by his trash talk. "Have at you, fiend!"
The Skull King reared his horse back up and drew back his sword to charge at us both.
"Screw it," I said, conjuring the one magic spell I knew. "PUSH!"
I didn't know if I was just supposed to say the name of the spell or if it was meant to have some kind of incantation or not, but this was all instinctual anyway. The power of the only magic I knew aside from Arcane Fire (which was a special ability I could use every round anyway) flew out of my fingertips. It was less like a gust of wind and more a telekinetic battering ram that proceeded to slam right into Skull King's chest.
Much to my surprise, Skull King was knocked off his demon steed and fell back into the moat pit behind him with a startled scream. The moat pit was something like seventy or eighty feet deep and he'd gone down headfirst, meaning he'd probably been cracked like an egg when he'd hit the ground. I didn't know if that was lethal for undead as everything became unearthly silent for a second. Then a rapid series of pinging noises came from my bracelet.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: The Bigger They Are
(A) 25 - Defeat The Skull King in Tutorial (Secret)
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Wilhelm Scream
(A) 25 - Defeat The Skull King by pushing him into the Moat (Secret)
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Castle Reclaimed
(A) 25 - Become the Lord of Dragon Keep (Finish Tutorial)
I stared at my bracelet. "This thing comes with actual achievements? You've got to be kidding me."
Jon was too busy staring at the now rider-less demon steed, though. Well, riderless except for the fallen Lord Emberly on his back. "What the actual..."
Ania looked every bit as shocked as Jon, staring at the sight of the fallen Skull King with an expression between disbelief and horror. It was not the kind of expression I expected for a sudden but unexpected victory.
YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 2!
+3000 EXP BONUS FOR SECRET ACHIEVEMENT
+ YOU HAVE RECEIVED GHOST SWORD [Witchfire]
+ YOU HAVE RECEIVED DEMON STEED [MOUNT]
+ YOU HAVE RECEIVED GHOST ARMOR [Heavy]
+ YOU HAVE RECEIVED GHOST HELMET [Heavy]
+ YOU HAVE RECEIVED 365 GP
+ YOU HAVE RECEIVED ALCHEMICAL STONE [RED]
Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.
What followed was feeling like I was suddenly carrying about fifty or sixty extra pounds of weight that caused me to fall over due to my bad, still bleeding, leg. If this was what being over encumbered was like in a video game, I had to make a serious effort to have my characters carry less.
"How the hell did you pull that off?" Jon asked, flying up in front of my face.
I stared at him. "You told me to get PUSH! So I used PUSH!"
"That's just because its awesome and looks like you're a Jedi!" Jon said, pausing. "I mean, the Prequel Jedi suck but they have pretty awesome moves."
I almost throttled him but was stopped by Ania coming to my side and pulling out a bandage. "You're injured."
"Yes," I said. "I got bitten by a zombie. It's fine, though. Only two hit points damage."
Ania stared at me like I was insane. "Injuries get worse, you idiot."
She proceeded to pull out a jar full of some kind of gray goo from one of her side pouches before slathering it over my injury. The sting was worse than the bite before she pulled out another bandage and wrapped it around the now goo-covered spot. Much to my surprise, she then placed her hand over both and a little green glow passed between her fingers as well as the bandage.
CURE (1) – 2 HP RECOVERED; MINOR INJURY HEALED.
"You have magic?" Jon asked. "But you're a Rogue! You don't get that until 9th level!"
Feeling slightly better after the initial pain had passed, I took up my bracelet and checked it. There was now a menu for PARTY MEMBERS, and it contained both an entry for Ania as well as Jon. Jon was listed as FAMILIAR Level 1 with his alignment listed as Gray. Ania was DARK UNDERMASTER ROGUE 9, SPECIALIZATION: MOON ASSASSIN 1 with a Black Alignment. Probably because of all the murders she'd committed in her quest for revenge against the Mad Queen and her conspirators.
"Huh," I said, staring at the statistics. "Ania, you are way higher level than me."
"Still not enough to beat the Skull King, though," Jon said. "No offense. I'm sure you would have done fine. For a girl."
Ania swatted him, sending him tumbling to the ground. "I still maintain some of this experience nonsense from the previous two loops I've had this thing. Unfortunately, every time I tried to work with the Imposters, they blew me off to do their own nonsense."
Jon struggled to get up. "Not me! I totally ignored you and the other Companion NPCs! More experience for me that way!"
I struggled to get up and managed to heft the armor now in a backpack on my back that previously hadn't existed. "Well, I'm glad for you. I guess we managed to make one real achievement here today."
"Perhaps," Ania muttered. "The Skull King was on my list."
"Your murder list?" I asked.
Ania looked up. "You know about that too, huh?"
"Sorry," I replied, not wanting to get into it by pointing out she was my favorite character. "At least you can mark off one."
"I'm not so sure about that," Ania said, helping me steady myself. "Veles is the God of Death. While our side stays dead with each loop, he can bring back his people each time. Kind of why we're losing this war."
The Dark Undermaster books had been heavily divided into their political and supernatural elements. Veles the God of the Underworld was as close to a Sauron or Morgoth figure as existed in the books, but all the Old Gods had gone mad except for the Earthmother and maybe Perun, depending on which book you were reading. The thing was I'd never been interested in the zombie apocalypse sections and had been far more interested in the politicking—even if it was the undead sections that made the video games. Again, I really wish I'd brought my Kindle with me or copies of the books.
Great, not only was I trapped in a dark fantasy world where every other hero had been killed then reincarnated into a raven, but it was a dark fantasy world where the forces of evil could respawn. "Well, that's not very fair."
Ania snorted. "Fairness doesn't enter the equation."
I looked at the beautiful but hardened woman beside me, noticing the scar on her lip from where she'd been tortured by the Blood Reaver and other signs of what had previously only been stories for me. "Listen, I don't know anything about this world and didn't agree to come here. I've been kidnapped and thrown here. I know you must absolutely hate the fact people are wandering around with your brother's identity. I know I would hate myself for it. I also don't have any real combat ability—"
"You're really selling yourself up here, friend," Jon said, looking up.
"You don't need to explain, Imposter," Ania said, her face briefly cracking with concern. It was an unexpected look to see given her initial hostility.
I grimaced at her use of the word. "But I'm here now and I'm willing to help, as much as I'm humanly able to."
It was a stupid and silly promise to make. I should have been focused entirely on figuring out a way to get out of here. If I was going to survive this, I needed to figure out how the magic worked and whatever the "rules" were of this situation. Instead, though, I was invested on some level. I wanted to help her and be part of a story.
There was a moment of empathy I could see in her eyes that swiftly passed. "I'll win this war with or without you, Imposter. You got lucky. Weis has sent you here to die and I have not enough sympathy to spare to both you as well as the hundreds of people who I grew up around that are now strewn like fish across the surface of a poisoned lake. Take care of yourself because no one else will."
Ania stood up and headed over to the demon steed where I could see Lord Emberly was getting up off the back of the monster horse, unsteadily. The dragons had left, and the blood moon had transformed back into a white-gray one. It seemed we'd won, or whatever passed for such a thing, and the dead were retreating.
Jon looked up, walking on the ground rather than flying. "See, what did I tell you? Complete bitch."
My leg felt fully healed but still burned with the bandage and ointment on it. I decided not to disturb it. "Jon, did it occur to you that maybe you should be treating these people like, you know, actual people?"
Jon seemed to ponder that then shook his head. "Nope!"
I checked my character sheet and noted that it now said:
ARAGORN "AARON" BARTKOWSKI
LVL: 2
CLASS: UNDERMASTER SORCERER
ALIGNMENT: GRAY
AGE: 34
SEX: MALE
RACE: HUMAN
STR: 10
AGI: 10
CON: 9
INT: 16
WIS: 7
COM: 15
CHA: 13
ARMOR CLASS: 1
ATTACK: +1
HEALTH: 10
FEAT: Taunt
SPECIAL ABILITIES: ARCANE FIRE (1d6+3 INT bonus, Eldritch Damage)
SPELL LIST (1): PUSH
Beneath my stats, it said that I had an Attribute point and an extra spell slot to choose to fill up. Getting an attribute point every level seemed excessive but I suppose it was a compromise for the fact that they reset Garland's levels every game. It was strange to imagine him as a real person and that I was occupying his place in Mokosh history.
"Can I wear the armor of the Skull King?" I asked.
"Nope," Jon said. "Heavy armor is solely for Undermaster Warriors. I mean, you could, but you won't be able to cast spells and that would screw you over something fierce."
"Do I even want to know why armor interferes with magic?" I asked.
"Because that's the way the world works," Jon said. "I don't question it and neither should you. So just sell the armor when you get a chance or wait for a warrior to join the party."
"Is that likely?" I asked.
"No idea," Jon said. "I do know that I'll level up with you, though. Get myself some pecking powers."
I didn't even look at him, studying the rules as best I could. They were pretty like standard tabletop roleplaying game ones and the previous games in particular but not identical. "Uh huh."
"You should keep the sword, though," Jon said. "As an emergency weapon if nothing else. You never know when you'll hit a magic dead zone or against something immune to sorcery. Think of it like Leon Kennedy's knife."
“What about the Alchemist Stone?” I asked, checking my pockets for it. It was like a piece of red quartz and looked like a piece of candy. “What’s it do?”
"You swallow it," Jon said, surprising me. "Each one grants a specific ability, but you have to either throw it up or expel it another way in order to change them out. Red ones are the most common. They add about fifty pounds to your carrying capacity."
I immediately swallowed it. Huh, cherry taste. Much to my surprise, I felt significantly better in the amount I could carry.
"Try not to think about the fact that was probably in Skull King's zombiefied stomach until recently," Jon replied.
I almost threw it up then and there.
"Mmm hmm," I muttered, pushing away that thought. "I need you to be honest with me. There's been like fifteen champions sent by Weis, right?"
"So, they tell me," Jon said. "I've even met a few of my fellow ravens. Never one in the field, though."
"How far did any of them get?" I asked. "In defeating this big, huge epic threat, I mean."
Jon paused. "You're here, aren't you? Some have gotten close to Veles' sanctum, but no one has ever defeated any of his lieutenant gods. All of them are just sitting on their grand temples' thrones, chilling and spreading evil while the land tears itself up in civil war. With that kind of environment, why not just collect cards and chill?"
"You didn't want to fight."
"I didn't want to die. We saw how that worked out. I think that kind of summarizes everything, doesn't it?"
Yeah, it did.
I ended up choosing WIS to enhance to 8 and the spell CURE (I). I couldn't always rely on Ania, it seemed.
"You should be focused on increasing your Intelligence, chief," Jon said, looking up at me. "Wisdom is a dump stat in this game. Same as Comeliness."
"If I'd had more of it in real life, I wouldn't be in this world," I said, looking down at the crow.
Jon had no response for that.