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Lords of Dragon Keep [A humorous Isekai LitRPG]
Book Two - Chapter Thirty-Three - The Dungeons of Xaos

Book Two - Chapter Thirty-Three - The Dungeons of Xaos

Our party stood before the portal as the Trolls operated the machinery with a lot more understanding and skill than the Sisters of Mokosh. I hadn't gotten to see much of the trolls’ handiwork, but they seem to have built a successful civilization out of the ruins. It had a weird Fallout-esque junkyard quality but that didn't mean it wasn't functional.

"These seem like nice guys," I said. "I wonder why they're living underground."

"Because they're under an order of extermination dating back to the Elfslayer," Ania said, frowning.

I blinked. "Okay, so genocide is a thing we're cool with now?"

"It's the one thing the elves, humans, and dwarves all agree on," Bloodstorm said. "Everyone different than us by more than X amount has got to go."

Agata looked ashamed but I wasn't sure if it was for her race, the nobility, or herself.

"My father believed that all the Five Great Races could get along if one simply cared enough," Ivan said. "It was stupid but admirable. Even he was unable to do more than get rid of the bounties for ratkin tails and goblin ears. Those were his father's initiatives, though smaller ones had been put forth for centuries prior. The Elfslayer actually killed far more of those species than he did of the rabbit ears."

Thistle bristled and I got the impression that was a racial slur.

Ania sighed. "I have enough trouble trying to save the world from destruction. Saving sociey from the war between species is beyond my abilities."

"The Twisted Spawn," Bloodstorm said before frowning. "Yeah, well the Trolls and the races like them are even more hated than the ratkin. The ratkin are considered pests but the Twisted Spawn are considered enemies of all life. They were made from the thousands of people kidnapped by their servants during the Great Darkness. People believe them to be pure evil."

"They don't seem to be," I said. "I also thought you would be a person who thought differently."

Bloodstorm shrugged. "In my case, hags, ogres, and vampires generally are complete assholes who deserve to be killed on sight. The exception proves the rule. It's the difference between monsters and people. I admit, though, I am surprised at how amiable this group has turned out to be. It seems there's a spectrum from innately fused with evil like the Deathrot wights to just people with funny ears."

Thistle stared at Bloodstorm. "Can you please stop speaking of my people like that."

"My father's an elf, Therapist," Bloodstorm said, adopting Jon's name for her.

Thistle stared and cocked her head to one side. Clearly, she hadn't noticed that he was part-elf. "I'm so sorry."

"Your angel sucks man," Bloodstorm said. "You know you're allowed to cast her into the abyss, right? Basic divine privilege."

"No one is being cast into the abyss," I said, thinking still upon the trolls' situation. It was pretty close to the Morgoth warping elves thing from The Silmarillion (and that godawful Amazon show). I'd never been comfortable with it as an origin of the orcs because it meant they were victims rather than victimizers.

Well, technically, they were both. It meant our heroes never really tried to help them, even Gandalf. As a child, I'd thought Tolkien's creation of the Uruk-Hai had been him planning to reveal that orcs would eventually become like men and have a chance at redemption like other free-willed beings.

Nope, Tolkien had just been hoping for an origin where the heroes could keep killing them guilt-free. Probably his one flaw as an author but JRR was still leagues better as an author than Larry C.C. Weis. My opinion of my former favorite fantasy scribe, Weis not Tolkien, had taken a serious hit not because of the fact he'd banished me to another universe, well not just because, but the revelation Weis stole all his plot beats from reality.

"Let's just focus on trying to get the elves allied to us," Ania said. "If nothing else, we can turn over Thistle as a party gift."

I didn't respond but I was getting really pissed off here. If anyone had a right to be upset here, it was me, and I didn't need to be the one they were angry for. "Let's focus on Joan first then we can focus on the elves. The party comes first."

"That's dumb," Ania said, annoying me. "If I have to sacrifice everyone here to save the world, I'd do it."

"Oh," I said.

Ania turned back to the portal. "Then I'd slay myself on your grave, Aaron."

“Please don’t,” I said.

On that morbid note, the portal swirled, and I stepped through it. I was taking a lot on trust, but I always wanted to deal with my problems by moving forward. It didn't always resolve the problem but at least gave me a direction to be moving.

The travel through the portal was much the same as the one in the Great Tree, which at least told me I was unlikely to disintegrate or splatter against a barrier on the other side. I found myself walking out of a circle in yet another underground tunnel. This one was far larger than the one we'd just came from and stretched on like the inside of a football stadium's underside.

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The place was dingy, dark, and illuminated by strange glowing fungus on the wall. It had weird smells and there were tunnels all across the wall, each labeled in a glyphs and runes I took to be the Firstborn's language as it had no resemblance to elvish. The control panel for the portal was smashed to the side of the machine, looking like it had been done recently since there was a set of wooden crates marked DYNAMITE next to it. Oh and a bunch of discarded cigarettes on the ground beside it.

Real nice job, guys.

Great safety standards.

The others followed me through the portal and it shut off the moment that Jon finished coming through, preventing us from leaving.

"Yeah, I don't think this looks like La Tene, Aaron," Jon said, stating the obvious.

"No shit, Sherlock," I replied.

"This is the Dungeons of Xaos," Thistle said, looking around.

"The Dungeons of Chaos, really?" I asked. "Was the Pit of Doom taken?"

"No, the Pit of Doom is elsewhere," Thistle said. "Xaos was one of the last of the Vampire Lords after the overthrow of Night King Maelor. This is where he dumped the bodies of the thousands of elves bled dry during his tyrannical reign. It is the cistern and sewer system of La Tene. We're under the city now."

"Ah," I said, frowning. "Great. I bet its full of monsters then."

"That is a silly thing to say," Thistle said, rolling her eyes. "The ruins of La Tene have been abandoned for a thousand--"

We were interrupted by the sound of a massive roar that sounded like a dragon speaking into a megaphone. The entirety of our surroundings shook like there was an earthquake and dust mixed with loose masonry poured from the ceiling down on us.

"Huh," Thistle said, blinking, "That's new."

"We used to hide down here when we were carrying out attacks against the royal forces," Ania said. "It used to be safe."

"It's clearly not now," Ivan said, pausing. "Also, thank you for your pointless aid to the zealots murdering the knights of the kingdom."

"You're welcome," Ania said.

Ivan frowned.

"If you remember how to get up to the surface, I think we'll avoid any major fights," I said, primarily thinking about Joan but also believing our team needed to get its head straight before it started anything. We had to have each other's backs even if we hated each other. Okay, even if everyone hated Thistle and were pissed at me for sparing her. "Just give me a second to level up."

Instead of appearing on the Mark of the Champion for everyone to see, I just saw it in front of my face when I willed it to appear. I decided to put an Attribute point in WIS since, clearly, I needed more of that. I saw the system stats had been updated as well, listing SPIRIT SUMMONS now. It also had new spells for me to claim like DRAGONSBREATH and CURE (III).

Oh, and NEUTRALIZE POISON.

...

Shit.

Didn't I have egg on my face.

ARAGORN “AARON” BARTKOWSKI

LVL: 11

CLASS: UNDERMASTER SORCERER (MASTER RANGER)

ALIGNMENT: GRAY

AGE: 34

SEX: MALE

RACE: HUMAN (Demigod)

STR: 12 (19)

AGI: 10 (11)

CON: 11

INT: 24

WIS: 11

COM: 15 (16)

CHA: 15

ARMOR CLASS: 27

ATTACK: +7 (+18 to ATTACK, 1d10+14/18 [Undead] DAM, Sword of Perun [Lightning, Holy])

HEALTH: 60

DIVINITY: 7

FEAT: Taunt, Sword and Shield, Two Handed Fighting, Tracking

SPECIAL ABILITIES: ARCANE FIRE (1d6+10 INT bonus, Eldritch Damage, x3 Staff of Dragon Kings, Critical Hit Possible), BLOCK (requires shield), LESSER MAGIC (unlimited times per day), COUNTERSPELL, DIVINE ENHANCEMENT [Push]

SPELL LIST (MAX/4/4/4/3/3):

LESSER MAGIC EFFECTS: CLEAN SELF, CREATE FOOD, CREATE FIRE, CREATE WATER, MINOR ILLUSION, REFRESH, TELEKENESIS (1 Kilo per INT bonus), VENTRILOQUISM, MEND, TORCHLIGHT, SILENT WALK, IDENTIFY MAGICAL OBJECT, LESSER SENDING (Party Only), BLESS, SOOTHE ANIMAL

[1] PUSH [+++], CURE, JUMP, ARMOR

[2] WEB, ANIMAL SUMMONING, ENTANGLE

[3] SUGGESTION, LESSER CHARM, CURE (II), NEUTRALIZE POISON

[4] POLYMORPH OTHER, DIVINE BOW, CURE (III)

[5] SUNSTRIKE, REVIVE, DRAGONBREATH

SPIRIT SUMMONS: STOMPY, THISTLE

STATUS EFFECTS:

* Alchemical Stone (White): You recover 20 HP after a short rest and status ailments

* Blessing of Zorya Dawnbringer: +1 to AGL, +1 to AGI

* Ring of Ogre Strength: STR is 19 when wearing this

* Boots of speed: Double Movement Speed, Dodge Roll Bonus

* Ranger’s Mark: +4 to hit/damage against Undead

* +4 to all Saving Throws [Divine]

* Can cast PERUN'S DIVINE LIGHTNING BOLT once per day

* Can grant 1st and 2nd level spells to priests and answer PRAYER [ACTIVE]

"Ahem," I said, pausing and went over to Joan before putting my hand on her forehead. "NEUTRALIZE POISON."

All of my group turned to stare at me.

Joan started coughing and looked up. "Why am I tied to the side of a bear with an owl's face?"

"Hi!" Jon said. "You're packing on the pounds, little girl. Have you discovered doughnuts as a pope's breakfast?"

Joan sighed. "Can someone untie me? What did I miss?"

"Thistle is a vampire demon but Aaron forking her turned her into a living angel," Jon said. "Except, she mindrap...err mind zapped him into it first. Probably. It's possible he was down to fork to begin with but we'll never know."

"Uh huh," Joan said, still trapped in the ropes that Bloodstorm had tied her with.

"He would have," Agata said. "But that doesn't matter because she's a murdering skank angel."

I pulled out a knife to cut Joan free before pausing. "They have skank as a word in Ledziania?"

"They have it wherever skanks are," Agata said, growling.

"I don't think he would have," Ivan said. "You can tell the man is in love."

"His magic gunk also cured her of being evil," Jon said. "Except it might just have brainwashed her as well."

"I am not brainwashed," Thistle said. "Severing my bond to the Nightbringer has just made me view the entire world differently."

"How about we never discuss this again?" Ania asked. "Aaron made his choice. His stupid, stupid choice."

"Worst angel ever," Agata muttered under her breath.

"Lucifer is worse," I muttered.

"Yes, let's never discuss this again," Joan said. "I feel traumatized by just the summary. Also, like a fool because Thistle said she already had her bond to the Old Ones severed."

"That was Veles not the Nightbringer," Thistle said. "My deals with evil gods came in layers."

Okay, maybe sparing her was a mistake. "Well, if you can lead us to the surface then we'll--"

That was when the roar was repeated, shaking the chamber again. A group of injured knights in armor accompanied by a pair of wizards emerged from one of the nearby tunnels, fleeing as fast as their legs could carry them. One of them was a tall, 6'1 woman, with short blonde hair, a muscular athlete’s frame, and a very familiar face. On her wrist was one of the Marks of the Champion. She was helping a beautiful white-haired bearded man in gilded armor covered in runes.

I stared at the woman. "Francine Dubois?"

"Aaron Bartkowski?" Francine asked, doing a double take.

"You!" the man said, staring not at me but at Thistle.

Ania stared at him as Agata took a step back.

"Ah, hello brother," Ivan said, addressing Jorg the Bastard Knight. "Fancy seeing you here."