At this point, I was about done with gods. I hadn't believed in them before I'd found out they were literally real, but I'd swiftly come to appreciate them once I'd started receiving help from them. Was I influenced by the fact some of the "help" seemed to be in the form of attractive charismatic scary as hell women? Yes, I'll admit that. To everyone but Ania because she's even more scary than the goddesses. However, Perun and Larry managed to cause no end of trouble for me even though both of them were dead now.

Currently, I was falling from the height of several hundred feet in the air. This was not the worst situation I'd ever found myself in but was probably in the top ten. That was before I took in the sight of Belobog's massive two-hundred-foot-tall frame nearby in all its cyclopean glory. Belobog was an enormous tentacle-faced horror with green bibulous skin, wings, and an aura of mind-chilling terror that washed out from around himself to the point that only undead soldiers were able to surround him.

Cthulhu.

He was basically Cthulhu.

Or maybe Cthulhu was basically him.

The armies the last of the Old Gods had gathered around him were everything the Witch Queen had said they would be. He'd assembled a horrifying host of wights, zombies, skeletons, goblins, humans, and magically created monsters to lay siege to my home. They shouldn't have been here, not for days, but I really didn't know how long I'd been in Skyrealm. Either way, they were descending on the walls of Crossroad Keep like a swarm of ants with a particularly ugly kaiju in the center.

Ironically, by some definitions of ironic at least, my last sight on Earth (or Mokosh as the case may be) wasn't necessarily one of imminent defeat. I'd spent a massive amount of treasure upgrading Crossroad village and Dragon Keep's defenses across the past year. So much so that I'd not only filled out the original set of upgrades but the second and later a third tier of them. So much so that cannon, wand-wielding wizards, and musketeers were firing into the horde of monsters assaulting the place. Catapults shot rune-covered rocks over the walls while ballista fired glyph-marked javelins that both exploded when they landed.

Then there were the dragons.

Dragons, as all fantasy fans knew, were the apex of monsters. Others might be bigger, faster, stronger, or weirder but it always came back to the giant lizards with human mythology. Dragon Keep had been created by giants in the ye olden days of Mokosh to raise dragons for the gods before passing it down to the Rose family so they could do the same for Ledziana's kings.

Our version had been less animal husbandry and more a mad scientist's den as we'd discovered the secret of turning people into dragons. While creating an army of flying WMDs wasn't probably the smartest move we could have made but it was the most effective. The lines of the enemy army burst into flame as they were dive bombed with mystical napalm. It was devastating and helped create openings in the front lines for the armies we'd teleported in to fight.

Unfortunately, the dragons weren't enough to win the battle as I saw Belobog reach down and grab two by the neck with its enormous fists. It crushed their necks and their bodies hung limp like it was strangling chickens. Not that I had any experience seeing chickens being strangled but that was a sight to behold.

Well, time to die.

Before I was about thit the ground, or at least a bunch of spear wielding goblin soldiers, I was grabbed in the claws of a very familiar figure. He'd grown into a adult dragon across the past year and was now a brilliant red scaled monster.

"Sparky!" I shouted, feeling agony as the dragon's claws bit into my side but not willing to complain.

"Hi!" Sparky said, his voice now deeper.

Sparky was the child of the Poppy Family that had lived an extended life as a cursed adolescent before we'd broken the spell upon him. As a result, he'd started resuming his natural growth. Possibly even faster than usual with a growth spurt that made up for the fact he was as old, if not older, than Ania and Agata.

"I seem to have missed the battle!" I shouted, barely able to be heard over the conflict as Sparky swerved around back toward Dragon Keep.

"No, it's still happening!" Sparky said. "Big Squid Guy decided to come through a giant hole in the sky."

Great, a portal. "Yeah, that'll do it!"

Sparky took me over the enhanced village, well, city of Crossroad and I could see that it was jam packed with refugees from all over Ledziana. The armies we'd assembled were also present, holding back for the inevitable fall of the wall. After all, for all the eventualities we'd prepared for, a giant squid monster hadn't been one of them. I had to admit, in the face of something like that, I didn't think our chances were good.

Sparky took me toward the center of town where the heart of the Dark Undermasters was located as well as our (small) dragon army. It was a beautiful castle that stretched far in the sky and had massive towers, an extensive moat, and plenty of magical defenses that, unfortunately, couldn't be applied to the town itself.

Dragon Keep had been sacked multiple times under the previous champions and been rebuilt just as many times but had never been as strong as it was now. It was also the place my family was located and I had to admit I was more scared for them than the tens of thousands of people defending it. It wasn't exactly heroic, but it was also something that I freely admitted to. Either way, saving everyone was the best way to save specific someones. Stupidly idealistic as that may be, it was also my way of life.

"So, where we you?" Sparky asked, as the wind blasted against us both.

"Skyrealm!" I replied. "I was adding neon lights there, crafting tables, and slot machines!"

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Sounds good!" Sparky said. "Have you built a place for the ratkin to live in?"

I paused. "I don't think they go to my realm when they die, Sparky."

"You need to work on that!" Sparky said.

"I'll think on it!" I said, more focused on the fact that the sky had cracked open and was now releasing a horde of winged serpents who weren't quite dragons but were close enough for government work.

Finally, we managed to arrive at the tallest tower of Dragon Keep where I saw Ania, Agata, Ivan, Bloodstorm, and Captain Crunch gathered. There was no sign of Rachel, and I had to wonder if she was among the many individuals choosing to fight closer to the front. I didn't think she was dead, I was pretty sure I'd have felt something if that was the case, but I still couldn't help but worry despite the unconventional nature of our relationship. Jon was missing too but I figured whatever he was up to, he was probably causing more mayhem than solving it.

"Aaron!" Ania said. "You're alive."

"You ever doubted it?" I asked, right before Sparky dropped my body on the tower stone with a thud.

"Yes!" Ania said, rushing to my side. "Belobog arrived early!"

"Yeah," I said, climbing up and whispering a CURE spell. "I noticed."

"Do you have a plan for getting rid of this thing?" Bloodstorm asked, looking at me.

"Because, honestly, I got nothing."

"It's far more powerful than it should be," Agata said, clutching her staff tightly. "Belobog was less powerful than the Nightbringer, yet this version seems to be able to shrug off all of our spells like water droplets."

"I think you guys are far too dependent on me," I said, making a half-hearted joke. "I think we should work on some training programs to get substitutes to take over in my absence."

"I think--" Ivan started to speak.

"Not you," I replied. "Veles must have given Belobog a boost on his way out. I don't suppose our unexpected ally showed up?"

"No," Agata said, "But she cast a spell that has proven useful."

"What spell is that?" I asked, almost regretting doing so. I was at the point where I was genuinely sick of surprises.

Belobog lifted its massive arms above its head and conjured an enormous ball of ice, one large enough to flatten Dragon Keep, and hurled it in our direction. The ball had to be fifty or sixty feet in diameter, glowing with magical energy. It sailed over the attacking army before smashing into a magical dome that shattered it into little, tiny pieces that rained down onto Belobog's own forces. The dome, however, shuddered from the effort.

"Huh," I said, looking at the results. "I'm going to say that is a good thing."

"It doesn't work against flying creatures," Agata said, looking at Sparky. "Which has its benefits and drawbacks. Our dragon advantage is something that should have won us the day decisively, but Belobog is immune to dragonfire."

"That's...not good," I said, trying to figure a way to turn this around.

Yeah, I had nothing.

"The armies have been pushed back behind the barrier," Captain Crunch said. "Thousands dead. But we've made them bleed for every step of the way. Unfortunately, that's the downside of dealing with a necromancer. The death lords loyal to Veles keep bringing back their own fallen alongside ours, which has meant that our advantage keeps getting whittled down. We might be able to smash the dark armies for good here but not if that giant pile of seafood breaks through the barrier."

"At least they bypassed the capital," Ivan said, smiling.

Everyone glared at him.

"I'm a king!" Ivan said. "It's my job to keep up morale!"

Captain Crunch rolled his eyes. "I prefer minstrels for that, lad. A king's primary job is to keep the kingdom intact. If you do that, you're fine in the annals of history."

Ivan adjusted his crown. "Well, then I'm an objectively terrible leader."

"Ivan the Terrible?" Ania asked. "Nah, that would never stick."

Ivan glared at her.

"I'm going to blame this all on my awful advisors, starting with your boyfriend," Ivan said. "Assuming there is anyone left to record history after today."

I pulled out the scroll that the Witch Queen had given me. "I have an idea."

"Oh thank the gods, we're saved," Agata said, sounding a lot more sarcastic than she really should have under the circumstances.

"Hey, give me a little credit," I said, pausing. "I've got us this far."

Ania looked at the monster as it hurled another giant ball of ice at the dome, causing the barrier to shudder again. "Aaron, I love you, but you have to wait until the race is over to take your bows. Stumbling in the final stretch isn't going to do anyone any good."

Unfortunately, she had a point.

"Do you know where Jon is?" I asked.

"Unfortunately," Ania said, frowning. "He decided that he would help the Witch Queen and keep an eye on her."

I stared at her in horror. "He does know she's evil, right?"

Bloodstorm chuckled. "To think we were worried about you thinking with your dick."

I shook my head, knowing I'd have to adjust what little plans I had on the fly. "What about Joan and Rachel?"

"They're with the rest of the sorcerers trying to reinforce the barrier," Agata said, wondering where I was going with this.

"Okay," I said, looking over at the large number of teleported boats spread across the side of the river and saw the dwarves' largest one. "Can you guys combine your might to do something like, I dunno, lift something really heavy up?"

"Yes, Aaron," Agata said, following my gaze. "But if you think we can take out Belobog with just a boat thrown at his head, I think you overestimate its effectiveness."

"Trust me, Cthulhu hates boats going through his head," I said, making a reference no one but Jon would have gotten. "But I'm actually thinking of drawing from an old Star Trek episode called Arena."

I explained my plan.

Everyone stared at me as if I'd lost my mind.

"Uh huh," Ania said, frowning. "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. Are you sure you're alright, Aaron?"

"Absolutely not," I replied, taking a deep breath. "But I have good news! My plan gets even dumber."

"I don't think that's possible," Bloodstorm said.

I only wished that were true. "We need to ride dragons around Belobog and weaken him enough to hit him with my suicide ship. Sort of like how the lions in Voltron have got to do some battle with big monster first before pulling out the blazing sword."

"That doesn't sound terribly stupid," Ania said, looking like she was waiting for another shoe to drop.

Which there was.

I finished memorizing the scroll. It should have taken hours but that was the benefit of having maxed out my divine intelligence. "Yeah, well, I'm going to bring back the Zoryas. I really hope I have the juice to summon both."

Silence reigned.

"Yep," Bloodstorm said. "I stand corrected. That actually makes the plan dumber."

"You do recall we went to elaborate lengths to kill both of those gods, right?" Ania asked.

"Technically, Aaron just fucked and killed Dawnbringer by himself," Agata said.

Everyone looked at the pregnant priestess.

"What?" Agata asked.

"Huh," Captain Crunch said, shaking his head. "You are a very strange group."

"You're just now getting that, huh?" I asked. "In any case, we need all the help we can get and I find nothing at all suspicious about the fact that the Witch Queen gave me this spell nor that it summons two people that might hate me."

"Or that it summons someone who is already reincarnated," Ania said. "How does that work?"

"That too," I said.

"You probably should be suspicious," Sparky said, not quite able to comprehend my level of sarcasm yet.

"Thank you, Sparky," I said, patting him on the snout. "I wouldn't have figured that out on my own."

"You're welcome!" Sparky said, cheerfully.

And with that, the dome fell.