"What do you mean he's attacking my world?" I asked, staring at the Witch Queen in horror.

"Technically, she said he's attacking Crossroad with Belobog leading the armies of darkness," Bloodstorm corrected. "Suzie just said that Veles went to your world. For all we know, he's just decided to retire in Florida."

"He'd fit right in," Jon said, pausing. "Which isn't me being political. I meant he's old and prone to doing weird stuff."

"Don't ever explain the joke," I said, looking at Jon before turning back to the Witch queen. "Also, back to my world being attacked."

"Your parents are at Crossroad," Ania said, reminding me of its importance. "So is your sister and nephew."

"Which is why I'm not worried too much about it," I said, somewhat exaggerating my feelings.

The Witch Queen stared at us, a look of barely contained fury in her Monica Belluci-esque eyes. "The God of Evil has betrayed his followers. With the tides of battle turning against us and the alliances forged among the Five Races, he summoned his power to transport himself across oceans of space to Mokosh's sister world."

"Yeah, who could have possibly seen that coming," Ania said, sarcastically. "What with him being the God of Evil."

Yeah, I loved her attitude. I didn't think it was going to help with the 60th level Wizard, though. They planned to buff her for the next expansion too.

The Witch Queen didn't seem offended, though. "I expected to be taken with the rest of the followers he brought with him across the Star Bridge on Bald Mountain's summit. Instead, Belobog and I have been left to merely provide interference for you. To soak up the wrath of the gods and their minions, you, while he moves to his plan to destroy the two worlds."

"Yeah, that's a pretty awful plan," I said.

"I didn't object to it when I was going to survive," the Witch Queen replied. "Once you know an afterlife objectively exists, it takes some of the sting out of murder."

I grimaced. "Should it, though?"

The Witch Queen did not acknowledge me but continued on as if I had been silent. "But I was abandoned like so much refuse despite having been my master's most faithful follower since the first Great Darkness. I did not wish to believe he was corrupted by the Twisted Ones but his oathbreaking and betrayal of our marriage can have no other explanation."

"Either that or he's just not into you," Rachel said, showing she was the only one of us strong enough to still sass her.

"It's terrible," Jon said. "I offer my body for your comfort."

"Seriously, she's a death lord," Ania said. "That's necrophilia."

"If I can't tell, I don't care," Jon said.

"And yet you mock Aaron for wanting to bang his spiritual daughter," Bloodstorm said, shaking his head.

"I do not!" I snapped. "Also, seriously, you don't get to make incest jokes. That's restricted to Jon and Rachel."

"Why Rachel?" Ania asked, confused.

"Because she's deeply scary despite looking like a guest star on Critical Role," I said.

Rachel waved her hand as if acknowledging she was there whle we talked about her. "I based my appearance on Aaron's sexual partners from when he was con clubbing."

"Kill me now," I muttered. "Except you, Witch Queen, because I worry you'd take that offer seriously."

"What an odd group," the Witch Queen said, blinking once. "I find it very difficult to believe you defeated three of the Old Gods and have driven Veles from this world. Nevertheless, it is difficult to argue with results. I come here to bring a warning of the attack as well as propose a detente."

"I'm listening," I said, staring at her face and trying to see past the glamour to the corpse below.

"You can't be serious," Ania said. "She's one of history's greatest monsters."

"Let's focus on Hitler before worrying about Stalin," I said. "Any war where one party chooses to bow out is one where you should let them."

"First, that's not actually true if the enemy intends to take you out after you exhaust yourself fighting their enemies," Alek said. "Second, Stalin didn't really work out where for Poland. You know, my homeland."

"I'll happily negotiate on our behalf!" Jon said, cheerfully.

"Do not think I come here empty handed," the Witch Queen said, conjuring a large weathered scroll held together by a black ribbon with a tiny rat skull. She proceeded to hand it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, reluctantly taking it.

"It is the true names of the gods you slew," the Witch Queen said. "It took me millennia to find them and give Veles power over his offspring."

"Gee, thanks," I said, unsure what I could do with it.

"It's why the Zoryas needed to change their identities on a basis level," Rachel explained. "Every time they were defeated, Veles just asserted his will over them and reinfected them with the Twisted Ones power."

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

"Ah," I said, not really sure. "But Rachel and Nightchilde aren't affected by this anymore. Right?"

"No," the Witch Queen said. "But it should allow you to not only summon shadows of their past avatars but also Belobog once you defeat him. Chernabog will not be able to be summoned because you destroyed his spirit. It will be a century or more before he regenerates."

"Yeah, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," I muttered. "Why would you give this to me versus keeping it for yourself?"

"Aaron, don't look a gift scroll in the Evil Queen who gave it to you's mouth," Jon said. "Just accept Maleficent is on our side."

"For now," Ania muttered.

"They're worthless to her," Rachel explained. "The kind of summonings she's describing could only be performed by someone with sufficient divine blood."

"Just another sign of privilege in action," Jon said. "Wait, Bloodstorm, Alek, Ania, Rachel presumably...am I the only one here who isn't a demigod?"

"I'm the Chosen of my God," Joan said. "But just the bastard daughter of royalty."

"Oh boo hoo for you, Schoolgirl Daenerys," Jon said. "You're lucky I have standards or you'd be subject to vicious mockery."

"You have standards?" Joan asked, appalled.

"Hey, I haven't once made a jailbait wait joke--" Jon started to say before I blasted him in the face with a minimum power ball of Arcane Fire. "Ow! What the hell?"

"Pavlov had a solution for you," I replied. "We'll see if it works. But Witch Queen--"

"Susanos," the Witch Queen corrected.

I blinked. "Really? Um, okay, sure. I'm not sure I'm really comfortable with a gift of necromantically controlling the ghosts of dead gods."

"You are facing one of the creator gods," Susanos said, as if talking to an especially slow child. "Being able to summon the lesser deities may prove to be the difference between triumph and defeat for the Two Worlds. Besides, the gods will be incredibly grateful to you for freeing them."

"So, we could summon Zorya Dawnbringer for a threesome?" Ania asked, very deliberately exaggerated in her horniness. "Ooo, maybe Zorya Nightbringer for a foursome now that she's no longer insane?"

"Ooo sounds great," I said. "What if we invite some priestesses of Mokosh or Dark Moon priestesses?"

"Nah, we need to keep it reasonable for our bed size," Ania said. "Three times a day for sex is enough. Maybe with REFRESH, though..."

"Gah!" Jon said, covering his ears and walking away, saying, 'lalalala."

I smirked, watching him leave earshot.

"Do you think we should ever tell him that we're not actually screwing other people?" Ania asked, watching Jon leave.

"No, it drives him crazy since he found out that dragons only have a month out of every five years mating cycle," I said, amused. "Like Vulcans."

"Yeah, I know that island," Ania said, nodding. "Rachel is a devious mastermind."

"Thank you," Rachel said, curtsying.

"You guys are evil," Alexi said, smirking. "The fun kind."

"Happy to help with the rumors," Bloodstorm said. "Though I don't get what's weird about any of that."

"Are you sleeping with anyone but Agata now?" Ania asked. "Your wife?"

Bloodstorm looked to one side. "That is completely different."

Yeah, they were married now. I was a jealous. Just a bit.

Rachel looked to me. "As hilarious as I find this whole conversation, I should note that the scroll of true names would also contain the methods for summoning other spirits aligned to you."

"Other spirits?" I asked.

"Thistle, the Bastard Knight, Francine Dubois..." Rachel trailed off.

"Ehh," I said, pausing. "I'm not exactly fond of any of those people right now."

Rachel sighed. "Stompy."

"Oh God, yes," I said, clutching the scroll tighter. "I've missed him so much."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Yes, the perfect justification to start employing the dark arts: you want your horse back," Ania said, pausing. "Okay, yeah, that makes sense."

"Stompy is a good horsie!" I said, feeling a little like a kid in a Western.

Susanos felt her face and sighed despite having nonfunctional lungs. "I'm afraid we're going to have to wrap this up."

"We don't want your help, Susanos," Ania said, turning to her. "You're as much a threat to this world as Veles. I'll gladly see you stay out of this war, though."

"You will need my help if you want any chance of destroying the armies of Belobog," Susanos said. "Veles only took a few hundred agents with him as well some of his most powerful artifacts. The rest of his vast empire of corpses, mercenaries, and slave soldiers have been sent on Crossroad. It's nothing more than a distraction that will lay waste to Ledziania and maximize the casualties of the people."

It was a reminder that Veles, despite how charismatic and congenial he was in person, was a real pile of crap. I could imagine the armies of Mordor straight out of Peter Jackson's films moving through Ledziania, destroying and burning everything in their path. A military assault that would do nothing more than serve as a spiteful genocide that would distract us from chasing him. Well, if we were lucky. It was more likely it would kill us all. We'd have to gather all of the forces we'd forged alliances together to defend Crossroad and that would be like herding cats.

"What do you get out of this?" I asked, still wondering what angle she was playing.

"Revenge," Susanos said. "That is enough but also the knowledge that if Veles falls then there will be a place for a new Dark Lord to replace him. I can't rule the world if he destroys it and if I am not to be Queen of Hell, I'd rather be Queen of Everything."

I was about to say that wasn't very reassuring when the entirety of the temple chamber rocked. Little bits of dust started falling from the ceiling as water began to drip from holes sprouting across the walls.

"Well, that's not good," I said, looking down to my ring of water breathing as well as belt of super swimming. All of us were sporting them. These had been invaluable for our attack down here.

"No, it is not," Susanos said. "The fanatical priests of the Water Demon have started undoing thespells protecting the city to try to drown you as well as crush you under the lake's immense pressure."

"You got the spell to keep us from suffering the bends, right?" I asked Joan.

Joan nodded. "I admit, decompression sickness wasn't something I normally think about memorizing spells for."

"Smartest man on Mokosh," I said, tapping the side of my head. "We need to fast travel out."

"You won't be able to do that," Susanos said. "The Water Demon's priests are also the least of your worries."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at the death lord in confusion.

"This is a trap," Alek said, cursing under his breath. "He knew we'd eventually come here to slay Belobog, so he arranged for us to get to the central chamber before bringing the whole place down on us."

"Yes," Susanos said. "But to make absolutely sure you don't escape, he also placed a thermonuclear device in Belobog's summoning chamber."

Alek and I stared.

"Veles has nukes now?" Jon asked. "Why the hell hasn't he used them already?"

"He only has the one," Susanos said. "Best to use it wisely. In any case, he has arranged no teleportation or escape as the Grand Temple of Water is to be polluted with radiation as well as fire. Again, my husband is a very spiteful being."

I stared at the golden doors and started to march to them. "We have to disarm it."

Susanos stopped me with her hand held up, palm facing outward. "It is too late for that, Aaron Bartkowski. The only thing preventing your total obliteration now is my TIME STOP spell over it."

I stared. "How long?"

"Less than a minute," Susanos said. "Now do we have an accord or do I teleport away by myself?"

I stared behind her and saw there was, in fact, the top of a Soviet ICBM. Veles certainly didn't scrump when he decided to go all out.

"We have an accord," I said.

Ania clenched her teeth. The others looked like they trusted me, which should have been more reassuring.

"Good," Susanos said, waving her staff just as everything went white.