I wasn't kidding about entering the lion's den. The heraldry of House Leu was everywhere with its brilliant scarlet background with a golden lion crushing spears in its mouth. Radu's mortal lineage had been extinguished, largely by him, but the banners encircling us showed that he took a great deal of unearned pride in his heritage.
The tower was home to Castle Bloodmoon's throne room. The decor was suitably menacing with a chandelier consisting of spears aimed downward, some of which had skulls affixed to them. Paintings lined the circular chamber with one of them showing the Princess Elizabeta, the woman possessing an eerie resemblance to Agata. I saw no sign of the Pontiff but there were doors lining the walls that might contain her or other prisoners. There were no windows in the room, and it was illuminated, instead, by witchfire torches.
At the North end of the chamber was a small staircase leading up to the Scarlet Throne where our opponent was sitting. Radu had unnaturally pale skin, long black hair, and angular features that made him look like a particularly bulky elf despite solely human heritage. He'd been frozen in his late forties, early fifties, and being a vampire hadn't restored any of his youth. He was also clean shaven, which was peculiar among the male nobility of the Southern Kingdoms.
He was wearing a long red cape over a silk shirt and leather pants that made think he'd somehow escaped from one of Anne Rice's books rather than Bram Stoker's. In one hand, he was holding a brandy sniffer full of red fluid that I suspected wasn't wine. His posture was bad with his body draped over his throne rather than properly sitting in it. It was a look that was meant to project absolute contempt.
Ironically, Radu wasn't quite handsome enough to pull off the look, though, as hard living meant he was a bit wrinklier than one of the bodice rippers involving the undead would put on their covers. Indeed, there was something almost pathetic about how he was trying to present himself.
"Tommy Wiseau," Jon said.
"What?" I asked.
"From The Room," Jon said. "Come on, Radu, say, I did not hit her. I did not. It's bullshit. Oh, hi Mark!"
I stared at Jon. "I never saw that movie."
Jon looked annoyed. "Philistine."
Radu, unimpressed by Jon's statements, stood up and flicked his cape back as if to catch the wind coming in from the open doors behind us. "I am pleased to finally make your acquaintance, Garland of Nowhere. You have done me an immense service by bringing back my wayward bride."
"I am no bride of yours!" Agata hissed with genuine hatred. Her eyes flash an uncharacteristic rage and I was afraid she'd launch herself directly at the vampire versus launching a bunch of spells as smart.
Radu laughed, his voice cold and mocking. He gestured to the portrait resembling Agata. "Do not be a fool, Elizabeta. Veles promised me that I would one day meet again with my beloved and the God of Evil has granted. You will become one of the undead as your mother and feast upon the Chosen Servant of the Sun God. With that, we will hold an exalted place in the courts of darkness that will follow."
"Our mother would never join you," Agata said. "You filth!"
Somehow, she made that sound worse than any curse word.
"Besides, she's not the only pale skinned brunette in the Southern Kingdoms," Ania said, trying to join in with Jon's style of banter but not very good at it. Really, she should stick to being stoic and menacing.
"Where is the Pope?" I asked, feeling like the uncharacteristic straight man as I kept my weapons out.
Radu narrowed his eyes that had turned completely scarlet with no whites or irises. "A place you will never find her, Bastard of Perun. Your child was one of several prisoners I took in my lord's name and the desecrations I intend to subject her to will only be outnumbered by the ones I will subject you to. You will be a castrated catamite that will service every monster in my dungeon."
"Damn," Jon said. "You know that means--"
"I know what it means, Jon," I said, dryly.
"You will pay for spilling your seed in my wife and claiming to be her husband," Radu said. "Just as she will pay for being an adulterous harlot."
"Wasn't she married to Ivan Crookback first?" Jon asked.
"Yeah, but they never consummated it," Bloodstorm said. "Also, Old God believers can get divorced with only the woman's consent in Ledziania, unlike the Empire where it's a man's world. FYI, I'm feeling a bit ignored in all this pre-fight trash talk. Is this a race thing?"
"Err," I muttered, uncomfortable because I absolutely believed it was a race thing. Radu had ignored Bloodstorm completely despite being Agata's current lover.
"It's because you're a dhampyr elf-ogre, I'm sorry," Jon said. "Some humans just can't deal with that."
Bloodstorm nodded. "Thought so."
Radu finished his glass and threw it to the side, shattering it against the side of the portrait as I saw a little blood trickle from a cut against his face. "Enough of this! Let the blood of godlings be spilled and nourish my ascension to my father's right hand! Die!"
Radu moved faster than anyone I'd seen in my life and I barely managed to block his fist going for my face with crisscrossed blades before he kicked me in the stomach, sending me flying against the wall of his tower interior. Ania struck with her own blades, causing blood to fly out from his back, only for him to conjure a rapier made of blood that he stabbed her in the shoulder with.
"Argh!" Ania shouted, the blade piercing through one end and out the other.
Bloodstorm moved to fight Radu mano-a-mano and swung his maul, striking the vampire noble in the chest. It might as well have been striking a wall made of cement, except I was pretty sure that Bloodstorm would have at least chipped off some pieces if he did that. Instead, Radu retaliated by placing his hand on Bloodstorm's face before a red mist appeared between his fingertips. The blood magic caused Bloodstorm to, if not scream, then let out a wail of agony.
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Radu had made an intelligent move coming into melee range with us as it prevented any of our longer-range abilities from being used. Agata couldn't cast a fireball in the middle of our group, though I half-suspected she would have if it would have finished him off. Instead, she shot forth a blast of lightning instead. Unfortunately, that also seemed to do a minimum of damage to the monster and I wondered if the undead could be electrocuted at all.
"Burn!" Sparky shouted and blasted Radu in the face with the full force of his fiery breath. That caused Radu to light up and become a Roman candle in the middle of our group. Unfortunately, for us, it just made him even more dangerous as the chamber filled with his mocking laughter.
"Fire?" Radu asked, incredulously. "I am a child of the Underworld! I bathe in the flames used to torture the damned! Let us see how child dragon fares when I have broken his will and set him to burn you!"
The burning stopped as Radu's clothes had all been incinerated along with the outer layer of his skin. However, the damage done to him started healing over immediately and he pointed at Sparky, who was backing up in fear.
"I command you to kill your own party!" Radu said, his voice echoing and unnatural.
"No!" Sparky said, a red aura appearing around him as he seemed to be struggling with an unseen force.
"COUNTERSPELL!" I shouted, pointing at Sparky. I had no idea if this was magic that Radu was working or if it was innate ability of vampire nobles. I was about to find out.
Sparky shook away the mind-control and growled, clawing at Radu before being knocked away by an errant blow.
Yeah, we were getting our asses kicked.
"You will regret that, Garland," Radu said, once more making use of his vampire super speed and rushing to my side before grabbing me by the throat. Radu pushed me up against the wall of his tower before gesturing back to the center of the chamber.
A half-dozen bloody figures rose from the floor as if being brought up by a hidden elevator. They were an armored knight, a stereotypical looking wizard, an elven archer, a priestess of Mokosh, and two Dark Undermasters. These were the ghosts of those heroes who had sought to challenge Radu in the past before finding their souls enslaved to the castle's dark lord.
That was when I had a plan.
I jammed both of my swords down into Radu's knees and caused him to finally display pain. The magic of the dead god of ill fortune was enough make him twist his face in disgust. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to get him to let me go. It did give me enough of a delay to hold my hand out on his face, though.
"PUSH!" I shouted.
Radu moved back maybe two feet, letting go me of me but otherwise completely ruining my plan.
I fell to the ground in a ruined heap. The blades were no longer in my hands and hadn't absorbed any of Radu's life energy, perhaps because I'd let go of them but also maybe because they'd have preferred him as a master.
"Is that supposed to have impressed me?" Radu said, displaying his fangs as he glared down at my prone form.
"TELEKINESIS!" Agata said, wrapping the whip of light around Radu's throat then pulling him back into the center of the chamber among two his summoned minions. The other four were battling Bloodstorm, Sparky, and a wounded Ania.
"DIVINE BOW!" I shouted, not willing to trust Arcane Fire alone and firing. I didn't aim at Radu, though, but at the chain holding up the chandelier of spears instead. It was a perfect shot and dropped the enchanted spears down on all of them. Radu was impaled by six different spears while his minions dissolved into hellish flames.
Jon, who was sitting on a bust of Radu, having clawed a couple of the ghosts during the fight, said, "Man, I hate these bosses with their own health bars. They break all the rules."
That was when Radu started forcing the chandelier up and the spears out of himself. "Fools! Do you really believe this is enough to destroy me? You come here with your swords and your holy water and think that is enough to bring an end to the one who resurrects from death each time? I am the king of my kind! Son of Veles, Student of the Scholomance, and Apprentice to Koshchei! Necromancer supreme and blood magic master!"
Radu started transforming in that moment, gaining massive amounts of muscle and a fine coat of fur as he became, not a batman or wolf like you'd expect, but an enormous humanoid lion. The lion had draconic features, including a reptilian tail and fire coming out of its mouth, if there was any doubt about him being Veles kids. It also stood about nine feet tall and towered over even Bloodstorm.
"And he has a second phase too, great," Jon muttered. "I hate these games."
Ania managed to fire an arrow of light one handed with her teeth (since it was a magic bow with no strings, this was less ridiculous than it sounded). Agata unleashed her fireball at Radu despite his earlier resistance to flame and it exploded, just covering the center of the tower with flames. Bloodstorm, ironically, picked up her whip and swung it around clumsily to nevertheless strike the lion man in the shoulders. Sparky, much to my surprise, imitated Radu by creating a dragon man form that looked pretty badass. It almost distracted from the fact he was a kid in a life-or-death situation.
"You will die by your own blades," Radu said, pulling the Swords of Chernabog out of his knees that had been there the entire time. I just hadn't noticed in the fact that he was becoming akin to a a stop motion monster that would have been CGI in today's horror movies.
"Hit em with your sun blast, Aaron!" Jon cheered me on from the side.
Instead of criticizing the bird for giving away my plan, I decided to take an extremely dangerous risk and aimed my hand. "SUNSTRIKE!"
My hand filled with a glowing yellow-white orb of power before a beam shot forth out that lanced across the room like a chugging locomotive. The beam promptly sailed past the lion man's side and struck the wall behind him.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Ania muttered. “You missed?”
"No," I said. "I didn't."
I really hoped I'd figured out things because, otherwise, I was going to look real stupid in the few minutes I had left before my death.
Radu, himself, looked confused then started back at where I'd thrown my spell. A look of unmistakable horror was visible on his deformed leonine face before he burst out laughing. It was a mocking tragic laugh that I recognized as the kind of one I'd given once I'd realized just how screwed I was with the contract I'd signed at Epic DungeoneeringTM.
The others looked confused, and I didn't blame them, but their gaze fell upon the portrait of Elizabeta that was presently disintegrating from the SUNSTRIKE blast. As the paint ran down from the inside of the frame, it caught fire as if a lesser vampire struck by sunlight. Finally, the painting exploded and there was a silence in the chamber.
"Ahhhh!" Radu roared before spinning around to assault me. It was a last ditch effort from a doomed man. Radu's body filled with pinpricks of light coming from his inside, like he was suddenly covered in stars. I recast my ARMOR spell and covered my head before I was showered in gore along with everyone else.
Radu had exploded.
MAIN QUEST UPDATED: DEFEAT THE VAMPYRE KING 1/1
SIDEQUEST(S) UPDATED: DEFEAT THE THIRTEEN 2/13
REWARD
+ 80,000 EXP (Radu the Impaler)
+ Robe of the vampyre
+ Ruby of greater charm
+ 20,000 GP
Level 9 to Level 10
105,000/250,000
"He slimed me," I muttered, wiping off my face.
Agata burst into laughter.
Ania downed one of the healing potions, we'd taken, blanching and coughing. Probably because they were made with blood. After clearing her throat, she looked at me. "He was a lich, not a vampire. How did you figure that out?"
I walked over to the Blades of Chernabog and picked them up. "Well, he was making a lot of references to coming back from the dead. He mentioned Koshchei. There's also the fact everyone talked about him being a fake vampire. Add in all the magic he was throwing around as well as the attention he was drawing the painting, I figured it was a good possibility that he was a lich pretending to be a vampire. From the way you described him, Agata, I figured he'd also be the kind of guy to keep his soul jar in plain sight just to screw with people. Plus, I also saw the little cut on his face when he threw his glass against the painting.”
Ania stared. "So…you guessed."
I sighed. There was no respect for the lost art of deduction. "Let's just find the pope."