"You should have left me to fight with the others," said Jed, returning his sword to its sheath.

“Don't worry, this spell-stone I rigged only lasts a short while. So based upon my experiments we got anywhere from 5-15 more minutes to a few days remaining to rest ourselves before we get zipped back to the battlefield," explained Ned.

Fred began to giggle because the spongy ground he sat upon felt weird. He forced his mouth shut with one hand the other moved over on a very large and smooth object. He was jilted by an intense energy flowing from the object.

“We are special guests in the core. The legendary lands where most crystals and their spirits live,” murmured Fred.

“Yes, a very correct guess there young knight if only your servant here had half the brains as you possess, but I digress. You boys see it right in front of you,” He could be heard around an outcrop of rocks flipping the pages of a book.. “An extremely neutral place where neither good nor evil lurks for very long. If it does, it is evicted back to the surface until it is suitable to live here,” said Ned.

"So then where do the fallen heroes and villain spirits reside then if not here? Hey you, the biggest fool in all the land?" Asked Jed.

"That part of it is filtered out on the soul's way to core, purifying it to a childhood state of a blank slate after death," explained Ned.

"Are we dead?" asked Fred.

"Not just temporary guests seeking respite from the horrors of war," smugly replied Ned.

"Shut your mouths and shine a farcing light on the dark wizard. Why Fred, you have a lantern too let's start them both so that I can get a better glimpse around,” hollered Jed.

"This is a naturalized area without full color so that any lights brought here will not shine. Things get very strange, and distorted with so much static of long lost souls running in, and out of sync with each other," explained Ned.

“Just know I am not a pacifist. Let's get out of here!" yelled Jed.

Jed felt a path forward in the dim black and white. He was crawling to the voice over things that felt very alien, although seaweed was the closest comparison.

"You must learn to trust me as a master wizard. Heed my advice to enjoy every moment no matter how dark, and relax. You see the Farc crystal I used to teleport us here has now partially infused it into your souls freeing them from prior ailments of your brain's faulty functioning

"What you are the one who is infused with madness," yelled Jed

" Now by order of the crystal cult I will knight you two honorary paladins to serve on a quest for the voices whispering to me. Just let me take up a sword to finish this knighthood ceremony he he,” announced Ned.

"Alright," said Fred.

"That's enough of your tricks i'm in charge here fools," fumed Jed.

"I'm afraid the bad news is that I'm losing the freewill to perform acts of health and healing from this moment forward. For better or worse the powers from the crystals have gripped me into their service," announced the wizard, whose skin was beginning to slightly glow.

He threw his spent Farc crystal to the ground.

"clink!" It rang hollow inside.

"Nonsense I will defend myself, and you two clowns again when we are sent back to the dangerous battle from this fantasy land," said Jed.

"Let us enjoy nature, gentlemen, there is nothing more to argue," boomed the wizard's voice from the communication crystal, vocally boosting his chords.

"You are so mad ha ha ha," laughed Fred.

"Know this if we have to die it will be warriors not laughing stocks. I will not be the third wheel of clowns riding the same donkey as a tall tale told to children about avoiding dangerous jesters who mess with magic and minds. Fred let's leave this clown behind,” said Jed, getting up from where he had crawled.

"Hooo, Hooo," echoed under a single full moon casting down through a hole in the rock.

They were inside a massive cavern covered in crystals sparkling.

"Who, who, who, who?" gasped Fred.

"It's an owl Fred," said Jed.

Fred slowly stumbled around like a drunken newborn elephant knocking over furs. There was a single birch under the light of a full moon and an owl perched above. The creature rotated its neck to follow Fred who followed suit best he could below. He stood still observing the bird.

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"Master Fred, what has been done to your mind by the wizard for it lies in ruins, get back over here," yelled Jed.

"Look at the bird, look at his perch and eyes in the dark, us three weathering these hills, with the snow setting in this alien forest here dotted with the shine of crystals we find ourselves luckiest among the grunts thrown away as trash to be spent as pawns in battle" said Ned.

Jed ran towards his friend while a pack of coyotes yipped.

"Nothing reckless now, let's turn around and get back on track to our rigid mission from the crown," said Jed, pointing from where he had just come with his sword.

The ground rumbled and shook, knocking them over with a quake. There was steam shooting from cracks forming crevices, and hazards. The crack slowly opened a hatch to bubbling magma matter that ate the sword. Jed hung onto roots along the cliff edge, while Fred gripped the birch tree with a face white as a ghost. The owl stretched its wings and flew over the opening. It hooted far away flying into an icy pine forest. The cold wind shook both men to their core.

"It appears that time is up here gentlemen," Boomed Ned, standing above them from a cliff.

"Poof!"

All three disappeared from the magic location as quickly as they had arrived. Fred fell screeching until he smacked face first into a pile of bodies. The armors all ringing in unison like a bell. Jed broke back into the present on Ned who flattened under him. The torches of the army had been relighted, and stuck on the walls, but it was lights out for Ned. Only a few stranglers remained in this area. Ned gasped for air coming back alive his companions slowly crushed him like a tin can.

"Serves you right for that shit," said Jed, standing to dust himself off a thick coating of powder from the crystals crushed under Ned's wizard cloak on impact.

He next looted a dwarf's war ax in order to replace his lost sword and finally extended a helping hand to Fred.

"You underestimate the stubborn nature of a hardcore pacifist," said Ned, accepting the pull.

They moved around a bend in the road to an incline leveled to the mine's entrance. At the bottom of the hill the mass swinging limbs and armored bodies fighting a war in close quarters combat. A soldier's arm cut off in a hydrant of blood by a husky dwarf with a braided beard and large muscles.

"MOOORRRAAAKA!" was still being screamed by the dwarfs.

Fred felt the hot steam of a threat breathing down the back of his neck and jumped. Metal creaked nearby and a gun cocked, turning him white as a ghost. A hatch opened and the top brass stuck his head out from a nearby tank that smoked.

"You lost rats who have been avoiding combat all night! Get your asses in there and fight!" Commanded the commander.

"Let's rock n roll. I don't want to hear this jesting jazzy wizard no more," screamed Jed, charging forward.

"Attack the dwarfs go now kill kill kill," yelled the commander through a loudspeaker as the party charged.

"Ahh there you are Mule," cooed Ned, stroking his stead that had reappeared. "It is time for me to heal men. I have a purple sword stashed here charged by defense crystal and overcharged at that," he said, pulling out the weapon from the animal who had been holstering it somewhere in the saddle backs. "However I must say the cruel beauty of this power is that the sword heals its damage with every infliction of injury and slash while causing debilitating pain non lethal " instructed Ned the wizard.

"Time to fight our way into the shaft and find out what the empire really came here for," yelled Jed leading them.

Ned untied a little baggie saddled on his steed again. He threw a new crystal to Fred who proudly clutched it.

"Yes master" said Fred, his face of stone as he drew his sword.

"Fred you must be careful here, we are still only mortals, and you are following a mad man which is always a road to certain destruction. You know a master's orders should only be followed if it comes from a clear head, and is approved by the stamp of a royal class family member. A noble educated man who cares if he lives or dies, unlike most of those who serve him below" said Jed.

The soldiers in front had cleared the closest threats. Behind what remained of the living Dwarves a smaller mine shaft encrusted in crystals led further deep. They charged holding torches, bows, and swords. The bodies piled under a collapsed stone wall. A dwarf ran out screaming Jed screamed with him cutting off an arm then slicing off a head that didn't grow back.

The group cut a path of blood driving back the dwarfs as they entered the mine. One soldier was ridden to his final destination down an elevator shaft as a dwarf tackled. Enemies all around as one pumped full of steroids ran directly into a soldier's sword with reckless abandon cleaving himself screaming in blood, The soldier found herself ripped in half and thrown with enough impact to kill three more like a bowling ball. A volley of cannonballs smashed the outside shaking them with falling stones that crushed the unlucky.

"They are crazy, they are fierce, this I did anticipate" said Jed.

"MOOORRRAAAKA!" Yelled the dwarfs charging in from the rear.

A whistle above!

"Twack, twack, twack" the mass of arrows hitting marks.

The enemies continued to swarm killing soldiers outside, as more poured out from the floors below deeper in the mine. A cannonball hit behind them collapsing a section of roof into a dust cloud blowing sand that ripped into the lungs. The wizard cloaked in his flamboyant jester costume and rode on his donkey. A dwarf charged behind with brass knuckles. The beast kicked out, snapping the neck with a loud crunch. Nearby another creature limped from the dark, his legs and arms scaling and disfigured with mutated crystals growing all over. Ned cut the leg off with his special pacifist sword which grew back healthy flesh as it reformed on the ground while the enemy remained temporarily debilitated.

"These crystals have corrupted them with incorrect use, and abuse," cried Ned.

"No kidding," said Jed, in the thick of it.

He chopped the stumps off two Dwarves making them even smaller while screaming their catchphrase back at them. He saw an opening and moved in for the kill, getting his hands dirty cutting the neck of the one Ned had been working over. The remaining enemies hobbled in with groans and little fight in them. The many small cuts had added up to lethal damage. The squad of knights in front stabbed the limp bodies pacing themselves. The mutated ones exploded into sacks of puss. Those most burnt out provided little fight, and were torched with fire.

After a long campaign a dozen men stood exhausted. They found themselves all alone, having charged ahead of the rest into a collapsed mine, and disposed of their enemies in this area. The only way they were ordered was to keep going. One man’s arm was injured. Ned cut his wounds and it slowly healed. Their cavern was lit by the very same glowing purple surgical instrument, and some torches.