Edward was consumed by a flaming rage against himself and society. He had been born too different as a child. An alien cursed as the twelfth child born under the same number of crystals. This was deemed a massive threat to the kingdom's customs and security due to prophecies from ancient texts causing a mass moral panic among the dumbest.
The Nobles tried their best to correct this mistake, or at least hide it best they could with spiritual healing and discipline, but things didn't change. No matter what they tried things wouldn't give with the hysterical protesting public. They tried shipping him to other locations in secret, but riots always seemed to break out not long after. The situation eventually escalated into signing away the young child to the zealots in a deal to calm the peace and gain more control over the church. Neither the torturing, or elimination of political enemies could stop the growing rebellion if they hadn't done it.
Thus Young Edward was thus sent to a spiritual boot camp designed for him alone. There the beatings increased, he was hunting trips to man him up, then kept up all night and then paraded in front of judges as a demon. Soon the kingdom's woods were empty from the mass slaughter of animals by the boy who remained a national embarrassment. As he grew so did an increasing body-count of both men, and women.
Years later the fully grown Edward indulged in fulfilling the fears about him. Having slayed a great many of his uncles, cousins, aunts, brothers, sisters, and thousands of bland unrelated extras before escalating to his father. He would soon complete the wipe of many more who shared his blood while increasing his cooking skills to maximum level. They would be purged, and power would be consolidated and his restaurant chain massively expanded for a monopoly income while hiding the bodies.
Instead of being the one who was bent to their authority and customs he had turned the tables to serve himself. If only they had shown him a level of basic respect as a child this all could have all been avoided., but now society would enjoy consuming his meaty arts.
“You can stuff these two together into some kind of scene. I love your work so I trust your vision to not do something too tacky Bill,” Edward instructed the taxidermist.
“Yes King,” bowed the plump man dressed in full furs under a buckskin apron covered in filth.
His cheeks were bright red and nose chipped away from past frostbite underneath a massively fluffy cap strapped under his chin. Bill grabbed hold of a huge handle and pulled it back using his back. There was a hiss while hinges creaked and frozen condensation blew out the opening like a freight train. The atmosphere rapidly dropped below ice cold. A freezer full of stuffed critters among the blocks cooling them was revealed.
“Brr man you always somehow find a way to keep your places colder than the outside environment,” groaned Edward, flexing his hook while being kind enough to keep behind a safe enough distance following the man inside.
“Yup like clockwork I’m set up first at the most remote outposts making a killing and from the heat warming these snowbanks i’ll be here for awhile,” laughed Bill, pushing a trolley cart aside.
There was something large undercloth taking up the entire backend of the ice box. They stood over an operating table inspecting the stuffed bodies of the slain yeti, and the failed assassin in a freezer room.
“Look at this,” Bill said, throwing away the sheet covering up the large object.
Behind the curtain was revealed a miniature display of dolls partially constructed of a roundtable.
“So we mold a roundtable of my greatest hits,” smirked Edward, almost cutting off his own hand by initially trying to clap in a burst of excitement.
“You got it, want to do payment installments?,” asked Bill.
“No, let's figure out the total I owe outside, but I love it,” replied Edward.
Edward left the building after paying with the confident stride of a well seasoned killer. It was time to visit his mother one final time, before he returned to the real world for a final mission of genocide. He motioned a rallying cry to his loyal Knights waiting outside the hastily constructed outpost.
There were big gaps in the slapped together tree trunks built into a fence around six big buildings owned by different companies selling different things including housing. A piano player tingled the keys inside a parlor while a drummer slapped down a brush. Past the redlights the other end of the small fort had the place to sell your collected furs, ores, or pawn a brought heirloom if all your luck here had gone bust. A crowd partied inside while outside somebody froze in despair too drunk to care.
“Let's ride,” Edward screamed, climbing onto his sled.
The convoy of Knight followed his lead, as the King whipped his dogs. A day's travel from the base camp en route back to the Queens crystal ice castle.
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The curtains behind Edwards eyes had long been shuttered to show him his reflection. Now all others would finally see from him what it had trained him to be. The new royal anthem played to drive them through the snowstorm. A distorted guitar that sounded like a rabid dog set to drums and the recorded screams of his enemies.
In the newly declared Capital what remained of Queen Elizabethy the 13th lay on her throne. She moaned in pain being a bag of bones from crystal abuse and lack of food. Snaggy kept a keen observation with one eye peeking around the corner to her slumber. He had tried pushing food on her, but that was the opposite of the pusherman she desired.
“Queen, Queen,” he meekly muttered.
She remained in a daze with her eyes glazed into the mirror, forcing the jester to become more bold and finally enter the throne room.
“QUEEEN!” he finally screamed.
She weakly lifted her pale face showing burned out eyes that had little gas in the tank. Snaggy couldn’t help making an ugly face of disgust, but she evidently did not notice.
“WHAT? Can’t you see I'm resting here you fool” she gasped, unable to attack him or breathe fully anymore.
“I have good word from my little crows that the prince you marked for death is heading here, your plans to assassinate him have failed and now he wants to return the favor,” sighed Snaggy.
"Don't let him in here, instruct the guards to capture or kill on sight" she said, gently lifting a nostril to hoover a plate painted with vegetables. “Pfft how many troops does he have a dozen knights while I have moved the entire capital guard headquarters here let the loser try an attempt on my life,” she boasted.
A white line was loudly snorted, and she sunk into the throne.
"Very well, but you realize the guard for such a large castle is a skeleton crew with somewhere under ten thousand and only a hundred knights ourselves," said the Jester bowing as he gulped in air.
“That Farcin slow teleporting is driving me mad!” screeched the Queen, breaking things.
“I hope you feel better,”.
“WHAT WAS THAT?” she asked, throwing away an empty king-size container of crystal powder.
“No..thing,” stuttered Snaggy.
“You ring the bell and muster the troops to organize into a well oiled machine to defend these walls now!” ordered Queen Elizabethy the 13th.
Snaggy was on the retreat dodging a thrown pepper shaker after she had already smashed salt everywhere that he somersaulted through. He climbed down the walls
“Yes your majesty, I'm going to become the best general we've got,” gulped Snaggy, sliding away down a drainpipe.
Nearby sleighs carrying heavy artillery had been positioned behind the tree line. King Edward's men dialed in the angles for the Magma cannons into range of the ice castle. This plan had been set in motion for much longer, but today it was being executed. Edward stared into the ever present moon to try and guess the hour. There wasn’t much time left for his mother to lay claim to the throne. Her undivided focus on cultivating here had become an addictive obsession that had left a power vacuum in normal government functions. With a wave of King Edward’s hand the guns began to rain onto the fortress.
Inside the castle fire, and oil rained before melting the environment. It spread after exploding, coating the Queen’s men caught in the crossfire. They burned alive while the large structure of ice cracked apart falling in chunks.
Snaggy ran two and fro in a mad dash to keep the men on the walls in order. One wall had already collapsed in the center. The fool took a running leap just clearing the gap. The men had fled their rotating cannons, so Snaggy removed his whip and chased after them into the keep. Eventually dragging out enough to keep up the defense.
Edward had always been a big fan of the backdoor. In this case his infiltrators played cards in the dungeon waiting for the shots to calm. They drank schlock, and laughed at the screams above. The Queen had proven not to be able to handle her crystals. King Edward was too ruthless to fail, and they worshiped him for it. He would be their leader to burn down the useless royal family who were just as cruel but far more lazy and hypocritical. The new government would at least give them the chance for those without royal genes to have some power.
The Queen had been sobered enough by the explosions to rise. She hobbled down the freezing hall shivering with each step. She was in a present enough state of mind to know a slip and fall would break the beautiful skinny figure she had put so much effort in achieving. Eventually the teleportation room was only a few steps away. Inside the last Elf here waited behind the control panel.
"Hurry hurry," she cried a mess from the pad.
Above and around here a mass of wires ran all connecting to the large teleportation crystal aimed above her head.
"Teleports too hot" the Elf said with neither expression nor emotion as most do.
"I didn't pay you to teleport all your friends out of here first and lock me out until you finished!" she cried, stamping her foot down.
"Too bad unless you've educated yourself on the science of this stuff " said the Elf, turning a knob..
"BOOM!"
A large explosion rocked outside the corridor. Then the cry of men going to war could be heard. Screams, shouts and metal on metal.
"Hurry" cried the Queen,
Her eyes lit up for the first time in a long time with genuine emotion. Fear overwhelmed her, as the door creaked open. Edward entered covered in blood. A stream of red dripped from his smirking fangs, as well as his sharp crystal hook.
"Hello mother" he called to her wiping off the hook on a jacket of clubbed baby seals.
His sharpener right arm gave off a lens flair.
She wobbled and collapsed onto the floor. He approached the husk of a woman, with hair transformed white as snow in a second. Edward stepped over the final fallen obstacle in becoming King of humans. The next objective was for him to become Emperor of Tenare.