A knight held metal in both hands. A much larger one held a shaky light high above his head. The door creaked open leading them to an even darker room.
Zito let go of the door and it clicked shut behind them. He wielded his sword made of sharpened crystal with both hands.The flickering torch lit a large conveyor belt running through the area with the occasion box plopped along it. The rest of the area was stacked with walls of plastic shipping wraps, hundreds of cardboard labels, cobwebs, and dust.
“Cough..Gag.” Mooseman was struggling to breath.
“Would you spit it out already,” scolded Zito.
“Yes boss, well maybe not my allergies are getting worse as the air seems to be getting worse and worse,” moaned Mooseman, as the light bounces erratically.
“It’s just the same old shit over, and over again ain’t it Moose?’ said Zito, maneuvering over a partially loaded pallet truck.
Zito attacked a spider web blocking the path, cutting it easily. Mooseman double checked his shotgun was ready to go while simultaneously trying to hold the light. They came to a locked door.
“Never mind that man you’ve checked your weapon seventeen times since we saw the Queen. I bet if we run into her again you will jump and shoot her dead with that itchy trigger finger, if you don't get me first by accident,” fumed Zito, turning with a scowl.
A small mouse snuck between their feet trampling over Mooseman’s size 19 boot who jumped in the air and almost blasted himself in fear. The light crashed to the ground as the creature retreated to its home in the wall. The two knights gave each other wide distance causing one to back into a lamp breaking it with their behind.
“Not my week, not my month, not my year, what the fuck do I wear this thing for,” raged Mooseman, reaching for his own neck he grabbed and twisted.
"Those two were a pair of ghosts. The Queen and her escort are not a mind trick," said Zito, whose face had gone pale behind the crystal gas light cast from far below.
Mooseman ripped off the necklace containing the small shard of a green crystal all knights wore for luck. He bent down and kissed the transparent shard that showed through to his skin. Where he always wore it was a small scar it had left imprinted in the jugular.
“C’mon big crystal,” he prayed.
“No you clumsy brute don’t get supersensuous on me. Man that was the real Queen. I know it was her one hundred percent.” yelled Zito.
“Where’s the proof?” asked Mooseman, becoming skeptical.
“Hahah I have all the evidence I ever need found blowing in the wind,” said Zito, picking up and inspecting the light with cracked glass.
He holstered his weapon, and removed a scrap of fabric from one of his many hidden pockets. A pink piece of something embroidered with jewels.
“What is it, and why didn’t you show the King before?” asked Mooseman, aiming to snatch it for himself.
Mooseman snatched it away, and inspected the object. Zito jumped, and jumped in a futile attempt to reach enough height to grab it.
“Hey that’s the Queen’s royal panties. I recognize those from her best propaganda spread,” drooled Mooseman, giving them the same treatment he had just finished with his necklace.
“Hey man I always liked the one where she was 22 doing her mandatory military service as a hot yoga instructor. Temporarily pinned to my walls, but forever my heart,” said Zito, distracted by sudden hornyness.
“I guess that lucky charm does work haHA.. Hey why didn't you tell the King about this discovery anyway Zito?.
“Well I suppose It's a very awkward conversation,”stammered Zito.
“No worries buddy when we find him again I will breach the subject,” bellowed Mooseman.
“Do you have a death wish or something? Farc me man don’t rock the boat around leaders with unstable personalities or all the lucky charms in the world ain't gonna save you or us.Shhhh... shut up before you get us killed I want out of here!” yelled Zito, hovering the blade across his lips, and slashing at the air for good effect.
“Careful with that weapon boss. Umm you know what, let's calm down and focus again. We know the Queens are still alive and will keep looking for clues to the exit,” boomed Mooseman, tying the torn lingerie around his neck.
“You owe me all the loot you find for keeping those,” hissed Zito, as he ran ahead with the light.
"Alright deal," replied Mooeman.
The two exited onto a large cement ramp lined with a fleet of forklifts parked along the slope. A moderate incline leading down to several large garage doors rusted shut for business. Every inch of the cement surface had been painted with yellow lines, and red octagon warnings.
The knights cautiously approached the entrance marked above with lettering that looked elvish, and a red line painted across the path. Zito crossed the threshold first. He bent down to the door handle and gave his all to lift it, but it remained closed tight. Next he put his boot in the handle, and pried his sword underneath. He strained until his back arched, but still nothing moved, including Mooseman. Zito left his weapon stuck and threw up his hands in frustration.
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“Hey man what the fuck are you doing lollygagging around for?” yelled Zito glaring, “I could really use your help right about now” he scolded.
The other knight sighed.
“Alright boss,” said Mooseman, soon arriving at the door.
"You are an idiot," cried Zito.
“Just hold the lantern and watch how muscles work,” he finished, taking the handle.
The big knight grunted putting his back into raising it. Zito tried to help lift with one hand, and hold the torch with the other, but did nothing. The garage door began to slowly creek open. Mooseman stopped lifting just over Zito’s head.
“Alright go under and I'll hold it,” he said.
“You better not lock me in there” said Zito, grabbing his sword, as he climbed underneath.
“Uuuugh” cried Mooseman, struggling mightily as he limbo under the metal.
The garage door loudly slammed down kicking up cement dust. Both knights found themselves back together in a cramped area.
“You know you could always use that sword of yours to cut through locked doors instead of depending on me,” said Mooseman.
“That’s true, sorry it’s hard to think with little sleep for days in this crazy core. Thanks for saving us a lot of time getting in here. It looks like a lab,” said Zito.
There were sheets of ice coating every inch of the walls, metal tables, and cabinets. On a table beakers filled with multicolored liquid fizzed, and popped. A cauldron simmered, bubbled, and smoked in the corner above a gas cylinder burning low. The icicles hung from the ceiling above dripped slowly melting into the potion.
“Gulp it looks to be recently occupied,” said Zito.
“Hey, maybe there's a helpful scientist somewhere who can zap us back to the service,” whispered Mooseman.
“Well it’s probably a mad scientist man, be careful what you wish for,” sputtered Zito.
“Yeah it could be the home of a mad wizard that will zap us into gnats if we steal his shit, or force us to drink one of those colorful looking potions bubbling over there,” said Mooseman, loudly sniffing in the air. "Wow they smell real fruity, I'm almost hungry enough to indulge.".
"Knock yourself out man," said Zito.
Their light flickered off the walls of beeping, and blinking panels. They pushed further into the laboratory past pots of dead interior plants. A double sink, soap, emergency eye wash, and foreign looking appliances marked the beginning of a more industrialized kitchen.
Mooseman opened a fridge, rubbing his hands for food, but was disappointed to be greeted by a smelly musty interior full of cobwebs. Zito walked ahead past an empty well stained couch. The walls after that were lined with coin operated dispensers filled with strange experiments to collect. A picture of somebody's kid hung crooked on the wall.
Ahead the hallway got darker, but a green light flickered. It turned to grainy lit screens showing security footage. A figure sitting guard in the chair with a white dome. It was the back of an exposed skull of a skeleton.
Mooseman knelt along the dispensers inspecting what he could see was inside each. As went along with a brilliant idea for freeing a prize from one of these machines. He got on his stomach, and began crawling along the dusty floor. The knight carefully checked underneath the vending machine, after another. So far he had only turned over gum when he was looking for a coin.
“Hey man, psst listen,” whispered a voice.
“Aaaachuu!” responds Mooseman, smacking his head off a coin slot in the process.
“Shhh.. there's a dead man in the next room, get to your feet friend, and let’s clear it,” whispered Zito, grabbing his friend's arm .
“Nice, and gladly” said Mooseman, cradling his noggin with a hand and clutching the coin that he had knocked loose.
The two knights crept the hall going into the shadows. The grainy screens of the televisions flickered different images captured. The locations picture some familiar, and many more not in unknown locations around the factory. The guard on duty in the chair remained still.
“On the count of 1. 2. 3.. NOW!” yelled Moosman spinning the chair around.
Zito stabbed, and stabbed until the creature's jaw hung slack. The skeleton wore a lab uniform that looked like it hadn’t been washed in months. The face was rotten, filled with blackened teeth of cavities, and bones stuck from every angle. A laminated security badge hung securely around the corpse's neck.
“Phew alright, we're safe,” sighed Zito, performing a final stab for good measure. “We should get that key card from the dead, maybe it will get us access to certain areas,” he finished
“Good idea, and since you volunteered to be the one to get all the loot, well you be the guy to untangle it ha ha,” laughed Mooseman.
“Alright take my sword fool and cut off the head so I can easily snatch the key,” said Zito.
“Very well, clear back first though,” said Mooseman, adjusting the strap of the boomstick hung around his shoulder.
He took the small sword into the opposite hand of his torch. Mooseman raised his arm back and lopped off the head. The body slashed at the air, while the head bit, and gnashed for blood on the floor. Zito whistled as he stepped away in surprise. He booted the incoming head by reflex. It went smacking off the wall down the hall.
Meanwhile the rest of the dead scientist's corpse had calmed slightly from thrashing. He snatched the key from out of his grasp that loosely sat on the creature's shirt. Mooseman had stuck the sword through the chest like a kebab. The knights slowly regained composure, gasping for clean air.
“Hey Moose, look at the footage above you,” stammered Vito.
They both turned to study the grainy screens. A video of an empty barroom cut to a safe room full of Elves nervously pacing around. There looked to be about a dozen, and they looked like top tier executives except for one. The odd elf out looked to be tied to a chair, mouth taped shut, while dressed in top tier designer detective clothing.
That footage cut to Edward batting Ned with his stump in the graveyard. Another screen displayed the Queen in a looping sequence while she was teleporting. The remaining three security screens had shots of nothing but static.
“We have to run back the way we came from this dead end, and find the exit,” cried Zito.
“Yeah King Edward is our best bet, but I won’t spill the beans. We need his help to get out unfortunately,” replied Mooseman, giving his friend back his sword.
They ran down the hallway past with the head biting into the couch like a rottweiler. The large knight threw open the garage door for the other knight to run under. Mooseman ducked under himself and let it slam to the ground after them. The severed head could be heard continuing loudly teething into the drywall.