A soupy fog had marked the darkest hours of morning, and was slowly clearing out the air. The edge of the first sun had shown itself, but the second still hid below the treeline of Killin Wood.
“Well well.. I suppose we have more bait rotting in our tackle box,” said the woods namesake, slyly cleaning his tools.
He continued pacing back and forth on the soil beside tracks. The Queen was still waiting for a train in the center tied between the rails. Killin Hood licked his lips while he survived his nearest trees where his newest hostages found themselves tied, gagged, and masked with green potato sacks. Their sad multi-stained jester colors flapped in the early dawn except for their lamed Knight.
“The King must be broke or he’s sent the final insult to retrieve his mom ha ha,” laughed Killin Hood.
“Boss we didn’t find any ransom on them, we should do more interrogation,” said a henchman, feeling the barely alive bodies.
“Take off their clothes and check everywhere you think Edward Longbottom would hide a ransom. He's playing with us I know it,” said Killin Hood, his wild eyes looking pissed.
“What now boss?”
“Men we should still be merry for we have a royal fortune laying in our forest. I knew this would always be the outcome for in chess the King alway has to give up the Queen. Now we can extract all we can out of her,” said Killin Hood.
He turned to the rail and lifted up the Queen's unresponsive corpse.
“What?” he stammered. “Why does she feel so cold, and lifeless?” He shook her like a paint shaker. “I think she might have croaked,” he exclaimed ripping off her hood.
The gang of highwaymen all around him let out gasps. The body was dead alright, but it was not Queen Elizabethy the 13th. Instead it was a slain bandit with two holes in his chest who had been wearing her dress.
“We’ve been fooled,” cried a nearby bowman stunned as he dropped the arrow he had been holding onto his foot.
“Ouch” he limped, falling over to lick his wound.
"We've been fucked like a royal at a bath house REEEEE!" screamed Killin Hood, convulsing in a fit of rage he desecrated the decoy.
He threw it into the ditch and picked up the bow that had fallen at his feet. Unable to find another option, Killin Hood went after someone too distracted by pain. He pulled the arrow from his sobbing henchman's foot who started wailing. The arrow was drawn tight.
"Thwack!"
It protruded from Joey Jester's leaking gut.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" yelled the Jester thrashing where he had been tied to the stump.
“Well, well it’s torture time to the very last moments for you clowns unless you tell us how you’ve tricked us,” said Killin Hood dropping his bow to crack his knuckles.
Primm loudly gulped.
“Highwaymen spread word among the wood that nothing leaves here alive. It’s time to hunt for where the Queen has escaped. Release the killer zombie grizzly from her cage!” he yelled.
Killin Hood pulled a sharpened blade from his sheath as his men scattered like the wind.
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Somewhere near a logging machine Jed and Mule continued barreling down a rocky dirt road. They had driven all night, having to guess the direction to take on more than a few turns. A metal sign marked mile 255 somewhere deep inside the woods. The truck came across a makeshift metal bridge that rattled as the tires climbed over a steep drop to a dry riverbed below.
“It all looks the same to me Mule, I swear we've been over this very same bridge before,” said Jed, cradling his combat helmet in his lap.
“It’s impossible to tell man. I suppose it’s high time we got out and mark the path,” said Mule, pulling the big rig over to a stop.
They climbed from the cab. Jed stretched his legs, while Mule lifted one of his over a shrub to give it a watering.
“You still got those racing stripe stickers you never applied? We can stick them to that sign over there to mark our path” said Mule, finishing his business.
“Yup those beam reflectors should be right back here. Wait a second why hey ain't that funny I thought I locked the trunk,” said Jed inspecting the gap.
“The frame is crinkled up from your rollover causing things to not stay shut correctly,” said Mule.
“Nope I locked it up right before we had the run in with those bandits back along the tracks,” sputtered Jed “They might have looted me for killing some of their troops and took that fancy crossbow we got from the Crazins too,” he finished lifting the lid.
The crossbow in question loaded with sharp crystal found itself pointed at his chest.
“Reach for the sky!” said Queen Elizabethy, as she climbed out the trunk in camouflaged garb.
Mule looked over at Jed with both hands in the air.
“Oh boy ain’t we got ourselves tied up in a mess now, so much for that shortcut,” mused Mule.
“Don’t move the pair of you,” commanded the Queen, keeping her eyes locked on both of them.
The deadly device rotated back and forth from man to beast.
“No hard feeling gents but i'll be commandeering your truck,” she said, climbing into the cab.
“You know how to drive a stick shift rig?” asked Mule as politely as he was capable.
The truck started up, lurched forward, and then stalled. The Queen loudly beat on the steering wheel in rage before turning it on, and stalling again.
“I can’t drive it either lady, only Mule can handle a truck hauling this kind of load,” said Jed crossing his arms.
“Well get in mutt, and drive under arrow tip” she hollered, climbing out and pointing her weapon with fierce intent.
“And Jed?” inquired Mule.
“He stays right here behind in the dust,” hissed Elizabethy stomping both feet.
She kicked a small rock from the road at Jed who ducked.
“You need me to get out of here you know before the Highwaymen come to finish what they started with you, and I need Jed to finish this delivery,” said Mule.
“I’ll shoot you, I really will!” yelled the Queen raising her bow, while her eyes became further crazed, almost popping out of the sockets.
“You need us if you want to live, your leverage on us isn’t what you think, and time is running out” finished Mule unafraid.
The Queen pointed her weapon at Jed who looked her directly in the eyes until she understood what the only logical option was.
“Fine you get us out of here, you sit in the middle, and I’ll keep my bolt pointed at both,” she said.
Mule climbed aboard with Jed cramped to his side leaving a wide berth for the Queen to sit in the passenger seat of the ride.
“DRIVE!” she commanded with a screech that pierced flesh like a needle sword.
The engine roared to life as flames spit from the smokestacks. The truck groaned to accelerate as they began to climb the steep hill. It wasn't long at the top before the truck was descending down. Mule rode the engine brake to keep things under control. The trees all around began to thin, and what remained was gray, leafless, and lifeless with water-log.
The tires splashed aside a large puddle that had leaked into the road from the swampland opening up on both sides. Visibility quickly became limited as a fog thicker than bug stew clung to the windows, and turned travel to a crawl. Elizabeth dry heaved at the stench of rotting death leaking into the cab. She quickly rolled her window locked tight with spare hand, before using it to pinch her nose.
“This ain’t a friendly place. We certainly haven't traveled here before, but it’s on the map looking like normal terrain when it could be a poison swamp,” said Jed, scanning to make out anything in the mist.
The light crystal high beams could just barely cut through enough to see the path directly ahead. The sparse dead woods had grown mangled with branches casting distorted moving shadows. What could be seen of the swamp water was nothing but black abyss with occasional bubbles. It was completely silent with not a peep, or ribbit from a frog. The truck slowly moved along. The road had become covered in a thin layer of muddy water, but they pressed on.