Dead limbs swayed in the breeze.
"Snifffff. That meat has gone by," observed Edward, fixing his drip.
The clown corpses lay where they had been tied; full of scars, burns, missing toes, and fingers. One stripped of everything but his head on a spike. A song of white speckled birds perched above as snowflakes fell. It was a murder and gulls that descend to feast with the flies and larvae already going to town.
Edward climbed back aboard his metal steed. The crystal coated snot dripped from his nose to freeze mid air while flames shot from the exhaust pipes warming knee's. He was off the country roads thick into a swamp. The water quickly evaporated from the bike in a plume of steam. The spiked wheels flung muddy waters all over. Reeds marked quick sand full of clams. Jets of hot steam shooting from the ground marked drops into boiling pits. Mist rolled in, and the sound of gulls ceased. His designer crocodile skin boots matched the setting.
“GROWL”.
A big bad beast nearby let rip deadly roars. The thrashings of a 10 ton zombie bear reverberating throughout swampland on the prowl for food. A rotten tree nearby collapsed under its own weight splashing up a cloud of fungus soup into the humid air. Edward stopped his magma cycle to break into a coughing fit, and shake his fist.
On the other side of the swamp Jed rested. His saw was steaming, overheating beside him. They both sat in a heap over the muddy lawn. Mule and the Queen were in the nearby big rig full of jungle juice.The tires slowly climbed cut wooden sticks getting away from him. His totaled hot rod remained at his side cut off from being towed. It was a casualty of the journey. He had taken everything out of its storage he could. His tools, a few he used to remove the mounted gun from the hood. It and the controller quickly unbolted and threw it in the cab.
The air horn blew several times, alerting everything in the nearby vicinity. Jed's body quivered with a fit of fear. Something had happened to give their position away. The low guttural growls filled the breeze. He could just make out two shadows fighting inside the truck cab through the window. The horn stopped beeping as mist covered whatever was happening.
Jed ran to the truck readying his electric cutter overhead. The vehicle had stalled in front of him just over a culvert pipe. He threw open the driver's door. There was nobody home, just blood left on the seat.
“Where the farc?” he said, looking dumbfounded.
Jed started looking under the truck just in case.
“Poof!”
There was a flash of light. Inside the big rig the Queen had shot Mule in the back with an arrow. His body violently spammed out of control hitting the horn. It wasn’t long before adrenaline brought him back to focus. He had the reflexes to knock Elizabethy out with an upper cut hoof. Now she was the one convulsing. Mule struggled licking at an crossbow bolt pinning his hind leg to the bucket seat with whimpers.
"Why?" Stammered Jed, looking on in horror.
"She took me to the core with her Jed. A land of terror no mind comes back from unscathed. She went completely mad before we were teleported back here," gasped Mule, as blood spurted from his wound.
Jed climbed over and ripped a patch from the Queens jacket to tie off the wound. He deposited his saw into the sleeping quarters behind. He grabbed onto the first aid kit spilling out the contents until he found the right stuff.
“I’m going to need you to grab onto the arrow, and pull it out,” said Mule.
“Alright” said Jed, grabbing hold.
He pulled, and pulled, but the bolt held a firm grip onto the flesh.
“Common!” screamed Mule.
Jed pulled with all remaining strength, focused on nothing else.
“Pop!”
The splinter expelled from the wound. Jed, and his prize fell onto the floor. Mule gripped a torch in his mouth, holding it looking for something to light it.
Jed didn't have pockets in his suit of armor. He dove head first into searching the glove box, returning empty handed.
“Check her pockets for a lighter, I saw her use it while we were trapped together in the mad, mad core” said Mule, dropping the torch, and burning the seat.
“Alright Jed you're going to have to drive us now, and give me that bolt to bite on let's go” said Mule.
“Ahh ha” said Jed triumphantly.
In his hands a flint, and soon a spark that lit the torch. He turned the flames on as low of a setting as they could go.
“This is going to hurt. Of course you know that,” said Jed, wincing.
“Get it over with already,” demanded Mule, biting down on the bloody bolt.
Jed burned at wound, filling the cab with a cooking scent. After he smeared on stink bug honey. It acted as a disinfectant, adhesive for the bandage he rolled. Mule dragged himself over to where the queen laid slack-jaw.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
"Farc the Queen" said Jed, helping open the passenger door.
They dumped her unconscious body off in the marsh by the side of the road.
"Bear bait," stated Mule.
Jed struggled with the big rig shifting into third gear at too low of a speed. The truck shook, and jerked almost stalling out.
"Shift down a gear dammit Jed," yelled Mule in pain.
"Sorry I'm not trying to get us killed here, I'm doing the best I can I swear" said Jed.
The truck roared out of bounds of the swamp to safety on a highway of cobblestone.
"Vroom" the engine groaned.
"Ok you can shift up now" scolded Mule.
Mule turned on the radio to rocking guitars playing. He rolled over, passing out to heal his damaged body. The fog of war has cleared now revealing ancient spruce. The trees grew shorter as the truck climbed along a path blasted through twin peaks. Snow was falling heavily now. A winter storm was starting to brew threatening to derail them from getting out of here in time. The guard rail was a thin mesh with the occasional log. The drop below was certainly deadly. Wind whipped the big rig threatening to blow it off the mountain.
Edward spotted the zombie gnawing on something. It was the carcass of a car. The bear bit it working to retrieve the prize inside. The grizzly’s fur was rotten away showing bones, and sinew. What was left of yellow teeth ground against the metal. The beast pulled the top down like a can of pickled snails. It smelled like them too. Next it bit into the body of somebody dead contained within the metal coffin.
Edward performed a drive by slashing with his hook. He slowed the bike revving to turn around in the marsh. Looking at the work he had done behind, where he could spot the loosened back flap that fell apart revealing ribs. The bear turned stunned. It had a face full of different reanimated crystals stabbed into it like it had bitten into a porcupine. They pulsed black in the light of two full moons. In its mouth was his mother. She looked dead like the zombie grizzly that towered in front of him standing on its hind legs.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GGGGGGGGGG!” said Edward charging in on his hog.
The zombie grizzly swiped left, throwing the raging emperor from off his bike. He tumbled twice, before his tree hooked into the mud, and pulled him up. He was standing on two feet, and charged. The bear dropped the Queen and charged forward on all four paws.
Slash, Slash, Slash..
Edward attacked over, and over in a rage. He screamed like he used to back in the early stages of his band. The grizzly swiped again, and sent him spiraling back into the air.
“Thud!’
Edward fell on top of the opened hot rod. The seat cushioning the fall, but his armor had already been ripped in deep by claws drawing some blood. His vision was hazy. The sound of gulls gathering could be heard again. They had perched on what little trees remained to eat trash.
The bear roared a sonic attack shaking the car, then it charged. It pounced onto the frame crushing it and trapped Edward in the backseat. He started cutting through the floorboards with his hook trying to escape only to realize the vehicle had been knocked into a boiling tub of liquid heat boiling below. The core of Tenare would save him from the lava. He took out a board with electrified circuitry, cast a spell, and placed it in a Farc. His body began to dissipate. He was off just as the core of the car began to melt.
He tumbled through the air. Falling headfirst into the frozen core. Below him screams, and shouts. He smashed into the snow. On the edge of a glacier on a collapsed outer wall. The former palace of ice he had intended to make the capital city lay in ruin. Zombie leprechauns attacked, ripping out necks of knights down below him. The dead wizard used his staff to make the dead dance macabre. Nancy the blind as a bat skeleton necromancer was feeling around looking to taste some flesh.
"I thought I was escaping death," sighed Edward.
One of the zombie leprechauns had spotted him. It alerted its brother with gurgling noises.
"Fresh flesh Mickey looks over there on those rocks," said Ratom pointing at a target.
"Let's get them brains," drooled Mickey.
The two dead sprinted across the parking lot. Edward saw them coming and readied his hook for battle. The wizard saw this and joined in throwing himself forward like an ape. The zombies began to climb up the glacier wall.
"What's going on I can’t see?" said Nancy.
The first leprechaun charged forward its fangs ready to draw blood. Edward slashed while Ned cast a grave spell sending electric bolts zooming. Edward raised his hook, and the crystal slasher sparked deflecting. It was a good thing he was protected by having so much rubbers on him that the electricity was grounded away into the rocks around.
"Dagnabbit," said Ned.
He deployed his backup plan of putting a super charged magnet power out. The device was a retractable stack that was extended into something that looked like a fishing rod. The two zombies wore dental fillings that ripped them back from the battle. Edward's hook was picked up by the field too, and him with it. He found himself sucked forward until he grabbed onto a ledge with his blackened fingernails. The hook was still getting pulled by the magnet, and Edward was getting pulled apart.
"Gotcha now didn't I he he," said Ned reeling in the magnetic field with a crank like he was pulling in like an invisible fishing line.
"Oh good, have you finally caught us some food," said Nancy, having found them.
"Don't lie sweetheart, we've been eating well all week since we discovered this fortress," said Ned the zombie wizard.
"Ahh yes, slowly picking them off one by one to slow roast their bones in my cauldron," cackled the skeleton zombie witch.
Edward groaned in pain as his precious implant was peeled away from skin.
“Plop,”.
The hook finally snapped away, taking a rocket of puss and blood in its wake.
"I hooked myself a fancy crystal hook for an arm now didn't I," laughed Ned.
"Want me to help?" asked Nancy.
"Yes mam chop off my hand, I'm going to have myself a hook," said the dead wizard.
"Whenever you're ready, let me know," she said, raising a gleaming katakana looted from the icy fortress.
"Now you go but straight downwards no sudden jerks," said Ned, placing one of his hands under her sword.
"Chop!"
Off came Ned's hand. He laughed, slapping on King Edward's most prized possession even over his harem members.
"Boys, I need a light," said Ned, taking a crystal torch from his cloak.
Ratom had a cheap disposable he had always kept on him long before he ever got into any trouble. He lit up the wizards dead flesh fusing it with the new custom killing apparatus.
What remained living was in hiding. Having run into the dungeons locking themselves in and putting lots of furniture behind the doors. Nearby in a hidden crevice Edward cradled his stump. He wasn't just in severe pain from his physical trauma, he was mental too. His soul had been shattered upon seeing the corpse of his mother. He needed his hook back, and to return back to save her from the zombie grizzly bear. He lit a fire under one of many crystal rocks he had hidden. The hard part of the equation.The problem if he teleported himself back it would be directly into the jaws of death.