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Road Warrior

The blades of the gyrocopter whirled overhead while the pilot angled for a bombing run. His target, a big rig Jed was driving on an escape run. The tanker was full of illegal jungle juice, and chased by Killin Hood’s pursuing men. The copter pilot above flew with one hand while the other giddily held onto a grenade with the pin pulled.

“OO OOO AA AAA!” screeched a purple glowing monkey, climbing aboard.

Mule previously transformed from a donkey into several things with wings, before finally becoming a flying primate. He used his new opposable thumbs to grab hold of the pilot who was thrown screaming out of the copter's driver's seat and the live nade chucked the other way. Below the dead man fell into the big rig's open passenger seat head hanging out with bloody face ripped open on the open road. Jed shuddered at receiving a dead man's smile permanently plastered on his armor.

“BOOM!”

The fallen grenade exploded into an armored vehicle pursuing the tanker that tore through a cactus and rammed the exposed area behind the open cab while the passengers aimed to kill. The bullets rained around Jed who aimed for the front shoulder. The trucks slammed off-road with the shooting vehicle sent airborne. The machine guns aboard continued blasting while the In the background the flaming truck jumped out of control removing a three-wheeler from the equation and flew into the canyon eventually exploding on impact.

The bridge crossing was too short to clear the big rig. Jed was forced off road into a desert full of sinkholes. He thrashed and bumped with the last tires leaving off the pavement behind him as some were slack and one flat from roadkill. The railway ran next to the road. The truck followed the cut shoulder being chased by the desert camouflaged three wheeled ATVs.

“Boom!”

Another explosion as three three-wheelers caught flames from a grenade.

“I’ve got your six Jed, over and out” said Mule, after switching to the big rig's Crystal Band frequency.

“Bang,bang, ten four buddy I got my hands full,” responded Jed, and rifle into the C.B.R.

A pack of dirt bikes cut him off causing a sudden swerve throwing another enemy off the tanker. . The trail he was headed to was no more. The truck threatened to flip of course under duress of open desert. Jed struggled to fight the weight of the steering wheel, exposed to the pop of shots.

“Oh shit,” he said, while the truck skidded forward and fell onto the railroad.

The tires began to blow, one after another as the rims took on the railings and sparks shot out like lightning from the axles. The steering wheel ripped out of Jed’s control and he flew around a corner. The big rig had become a small locomotive on rails.

“VROOOOM!”

The evil cars were catching up to get revenge for their fallen comrades.

“BOOOOM!”

Another grenade from Mule interrupted the pursuit, removing more ATVs. An incoming tumbleweed splintered into pieces on Jed’s armor. He could see he was bleeding under. The road had already ended long ago with more weeds crowding the tracks obscuring vision. He went ripping through the rail screeching with speed blind to what was left of the tires cleared away under red hot pressure. The rims somehow held in rotation, acid rain ceased to burn into the dashboard.

“Hey keep on chooglin' down there little buddy, and I’ll keep blowing them with explosives, over and out,” said Mule, hooting, hollering, and beating his hairy chest in celebration, before he removed another payload from a box marked with warnings..

“Alright monkey man it’s a miracle I'm still going thanks for helping.. Hey Uh what's the situation in the distance im kinda locked to one track,,” said Jed.

“Hmmm.. Hold on soldier, I’ll tell you when we get closer, over,” replied the voice over the radio.

“Roger, over and out,” said Jed.

The high speed chase continued along the railroad. A train station flew past with sides filled with straw. A pursuing armored car destroyed bales and boxes littering the air. Another armored tailgater was flaming, but had already withstood a direct grenade attack from above. A dirt bike hit a ramp made into the station and flew atop the jungle juice container. The bike revving its engine sped down the spine of the liquid storage and onto the front without a cab, exposed to the whirring dirty tires. Chunks of rock splattered across Jed's armor as he nearly got road-burn from the rotation. The bike driver looked up from throttling his machine in the face of the other driver who had a rifle.

“Bang.”

Jed’s gun blew guts into motion.

“Jed it looks like a boom town is up ahead,” said Mule, throwing another explosive.

The explosive whistled through the air, as his arm fell into a container searching for his next victim. There was a boom below while the search remained unsuccessful. Mule took his eyes off the old western boom town in the distance flying past a rusted water tower. The truck horn blew in celebration of the third nade taking out the armored vehicle.

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“Uhhh little buddy, I'm afraid I'm out of payloads, so I hope you don’t have much company remaining, over,” said Mule, adjusting the gyro-copter flight path.

He flew over an old shooting gallery full of moving targets, while the live bullets littered the skyline after him. The small t-rex arm like wheels of the gyro-copter were severed from underneath by flying lead. The small flier going behind the cover of bare orange desert hills was taking fire.

“I’m on fire, but I’ll be back,over and out,” said Mule, struggling to stay airborne while smoke poured from the motor.

There was a single armored car remaining, but it had a turret with a heavy rotating gun that had been winding at Mule. The gunner stopped shooting to adjust his angle in motion. Soon he had a bead on Jed in the front seat dead ahead. The trucker looked behind him and realized he was dead to rights. He pressed on the gas pedal and closed his eyes hoping for the best to unfold.

The wind whistled through holes knocked in his advanced armor. All was black in the void while Jed had dissociated. It was almost like he had journeyed back into the core of the planet, but not quite. The gun was spinning locked onto his body, but no bullets had come out of the chamber yet.

“Hmmm,” said the gunner, looking over his weapon with a red barrel. “Drat overheated”, he finished shaking an iron fist at the truck taking the rails through a small opening of buildings.

The armored car he was attached to at a swivel and locked, but not loaded anymore. The driver dodged a chicken coop, and rammed into a cow shed smashing aside boards before finally sinking into a vat of liquid manure. Most aboard it jumped off beside the bones of cows while a passenger was sucked into a final resting place trapped inside the cabin.

The big rig had no cab, but was still going at high speed on the tracks and entering the ghost town. A deserted town in the desert with lots of cactuses, and tumbleweeds, but no people remaining except those currently entering. The big rig’s brakes screeched, being eaten below the foot stomping them. The truck, and liquid load came to a halt in the center of the town next to a fountain of sand. The three-wheelers pulled beside the vehicle hitting the end of the tracks, and a stopper ramming the bumper.

“Where’s the target?” asked the masked man, climbing from the ATV.

More troops pulled in beside the deserted vehicle. The camouflaged army men spread out and began searching the town in quadrants like their training had drilled into them. Jed watched this hiding from where he had climbed a ladder. The large industrial drill was partially lodged above a mine shaft heading deep below the town.

The former ghost town was alive with the activities of Killin Hood’s men. As night descended It was stealth time for Jed who crept along in C.Q.C mode undetected. He had removed his noisy armor, and inspected himself for grievous wounds. He had a tourniquet tied to both a leg and an arm after cutting the arms off his flannel.

Now he wore a stained tank top that was designed for beatings, and a knife in his mouth. He crawled underneath a building like a snake. He had been sneaking around for most of the daylight and sundown was coming. Above the floorboards Jed pulled himself music reverberated. The troops had walked into an old saloon, and spotted free drinks unguarded. Naturally after the pouring had started somebody had activated a wind up piano that would play itself automatically. The floor creaked, and clacked as they danced a jig, and laughed. The revolving doors burst open as more entered the premise to party.

“Hey a blackjack table upstairs lets go,” yelled a deep voice.

“I’ll be right up there, but first I gotta piss,'' squeaked another.

The floorboards continued creaking all around above Jed, crawling to the other side of the dwelling. He was under the decking soon that was also crawling with activity. A voice whistled out the opening side door.

“Hey uh could you guys look the other way. I gotta take care of some business,” squeaked the voice, mixing perfectly in pitch with the nest of rats next to Jed’s head.

“Hehe, Partner I'm afraid you're going to have to go out with the ghosts behind another building,” said a coarse murmur.

“Just remember to stay away from the old bank while it gets checked over,” added another.

The spurred boots dropped into the soil from the deck where eyes tracked them at ground level. The man continued whistling as he walked into the darkness. Jed could now see that he wore a holstered gun, bandoliers full of ammo, and a fresh cowboy hat. A zipper loudly descended while a yellow stream watered crystal down a shaft of the same colors. The whistle became strained while something slithered closer to attacking.

A knife descended onto the neck cutting off the air, and changing the color of the only running stream in town. The man gargled his last breaths, while the flow of blood became a trickle. The body was looted, and dragged underneath a building to hide it. Jed equipped himself as a one man army, as coyotes yipped in the distance. He had stolen a satchel of TNT in addition to all the ammo strapped across his sleeveless garb with bandoleers. It was growing colder outside every passing second.

The hoedown continued in the dilapidated saloon. The broken chairs had been beaten to a pulp, and now fed the fire. The bar was being emptied while a driver had temporarily switched careers to a tender. Men drank all around while shouts erupted upstairs at the game table. There was even a guy who had figured out how to change the automatic piano to something even higher tempo. People danced like there was no tomorrow.

Meanwhile outside the two guards looked mean, and cross-eyed to still be on duty. They could see the shadows of fun being projected through the windows onto the faded advertisement for a king size tractor painted red with a dust coating of clay. There was something broken, a twig knocking into something that ringed metallic down the nightmare alley.

“What was that distraction?” asked a guard.

“Well you heard it, so go investigate it Von,” responded the other.

“Finem” sighed Von, stepping towards the distraction.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

They were thrown forward by a massive blast of flames engulfing the saloon behind him. Von ate a face full of desert dirt, and debris crashed around everywhere. A piece of plywood fell onto his back. He grunted to his feet, and began dusting himself off.The building he was outside was on fire and full of screaming. He blinked the gunk out of his eyes raising his gun as vision pulsed in and out of focus. He thought he saw a shadow leap out from the portion of the decking that had not exploded. Von wiped his eyes several times to make sure it had not been a dream, but the crackling continued. He rubbed his eyes a final time, and opened to Jed walking into frame with a rifle.

“BANG.”