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Impractical Magic
Impractical Magic Chapter 93

Impractical Magic Chapter 93

~~~Angelica~~~

"Hyah?!" [Angelica]

"Careful..." [Blake]

Blake caught me as I tripped over some cobwebs. My glance fell on him as he held me up.

Why is the background behind him slowly turning pink?! And where did those roses sprout out from?!

Calm down... try to think of something other than this...

I slapped both of my cheeks multiple times.

"Angelica, are you alright?" [Blake]

"Yeeee-ah..." [Angelica]

"Really? Are you sure? Your face is all flushed red." [Blake]

"Kyah?!" [Angelica]

He suddenly placed his forehead next to mine. My God! My heart almost jumped out of my chest as he did that!

I thought that he was going for a kiss... wait... why am I thinking of that?!

"The temperature also seems to be rising..." [Blake]

Stop... stop giving me that concerned look... stop it!

Even though I'm a guy on the inside it's making me so mentally confused right now!!

~~~Blake~~~

I'm afraid that the spider venom may have more effects than paralysis. Angelica couldn't focus very well as I can see her looking at and away from me, from time to time. Also, she doesn't seem to be able to observe her footing and surroundings as much, as she had already tripped a couple of times.

"Ne-nevermind that! We have to save cane boy! Time is of the essence!" [Angelica]

She put her hand on my shoulder and lightly pushed me back. Even with her condition, she still worries about her party members. Her genuine concern for everyone's safety and well-being is what I really love about her.

I am really glad that I was able to tell her about my feelings, although she wasn't able to answer them for now, it was more than enough for me. I was really surprised by when she gave me the potion, but it was probably because of the situation we are in.

Every time that she trips I cannot help but look at her mouth. Her soft, warm and tender lips...

Even though the experience is so brief I wanted to feel it again... is it bad of me to want to go and kiss her each time that she fell?

Anyway, I have to be more vigilant. I needed to protect her and myself so the three of us can get out of this place and back to the village safely.

Angelica lost her kris when the spider had grabbed her. For now, she is using a sharp bone she had picked up of similar length as an improvised weapon. Although I doubt that it would be effective, as she could only use her earth enchant on it to make it hard and retain its crude edge.

She had no choice but to use the earth enchant, cause the fire enchant turned one into ash. The wind enchant upgrades the speed, but since it's bone, it can only withstand a few hits before breaking. The water enchant relies on how deep the wounds were, considering that the edge is rubbish it can only go so far...

We fought off the spiders we came across in their den, with me dispatching most of them. Angelica, on the other hand, was just using the bone as a club to break the spider's legs and fangs when she discovered that it was more effective than slashing. I finished them off because she was incapable of dealing a deadly blow.

~~~Angelica~~~

This bone is so shitty that I regret losing my sword from the ambush, the spiders were ignoring my slashes and just kept on attacking me. I don't know if it's normal for the spiders to bob their heads, but it seems to me like they are ridiculing as if teabagging me.

I feel so weak like a support character... Well, it's not like I'm the protagonist of a story or something.

Blake had already mastered using the enchanted jian that I gave him, he only uses the enchant whenever it is needed. Like for example if he fought an unarmored foe he would just use his sword normally. When he fights monsters that had thick shell or armor well, you get the idea...

We are already far into the den and the place is full of cocoons.

"What brings you to my lair human?"

Are there anyone here besides us? Blake and I looked everywhere to see where the voice came from.

"Above you..."

Holy shit! What came to our view was a gigantic spider towering over us, we both had our mouths wide open; is it possible to keep it as a pet? Cause during my past-life I used to play with the other kids and made them fight each other on a stick. It is probably one of the insects that I don't particularly hate, unlike roaches... fuck roaches...

It spoke in a human language, I didn't know that monsters could do that.

We saw its eyes and fangs. The fangs were as tall as Blake and a single eye was about the same size as a round table...

"Your... uh... colleagues brought a friend of ours, so we uh... came to... get him back?" [Angelica]

"Mmn? You mean this?" [Spider]

The giant spider lifts a wriggling cocoon with one of its thick hairy legs and examines it.

"You've brought quite a neatly wrapped present." [Spider]

"Do you perhaps know a person named Hagrid? {1} If you do we can talk this over." [Angelica]

"I have no reason to remember the name of a snack." [Spider]

"Ah, alright then... c-can we have our friend back? A-after that, we'll take our leave." [Angelica]

"Don't try to sweet talk your way out of this human. I haven't eaten one of your kind in a long... long... time." [Spider]

It began salivating as it threw the cocoon with Irvine inside onto the pile.

"We are not the kind of people to be taken on lightly, if you want to eat us then you'll have to work for it." [Blake]

"Ohhh, I needed a bit of an exercise. Perhaps I should keep one of you alive to lay my eggs in so that when my children hatch, they will have fresh food served just for them!" [Spider]

(Stomp!)

Blake jumped and I rolled out of the way before its leg hit the position we were at.

This guy tried stepping on us! An insect! Could you believe that? It should have been the other way around!

"You have good reflexes." [Spider]

Blake and I immediately made a counterattack, but it quickly jumped away into the darkness.

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Even though it had evaded Blake I managed to land a hit on one of its legs, but it just brushed it off with its hairs. I don't think that my weapon could do much damage considering how huge and sturdy they were. I will just target its eyes and abdomen where it is softest.

Despite its huge size, it was quite agile. We spent most of our time running after it and it's taking a toll on our stamina, it reminded me of an annoying black-furred monster that kept on jumping and lunging around in a game. {2}

I wish I had Maria's •Inferno• but it will also burn the cocoons which is bad. If what the spider said is true then, Irvine is the only human trapped in one of those cocoons.

He should have at least shouted that he was okay or something. This is hard for me to say, but I don't want to manually search these cocoons one by one nor stay in this place much longer...

"Surprise!" [Spider]

"?!" [Angelica]

The giant spider suddenly appeared upside down and used its leg as it flicked me to the wall. It only made a minor damage as the cobwebs cushioned my body from the impact.

It spread its legs open and raised its butt towards me. Oh, wait...

(Pew! Pew! Pew!)

It fired multiple stingers at me as I lay stuck on the wall.

Blake rushes to my aid then cuts and deflects the stingers mid-flight. When it stopped. Blake removed the cobwebs using the fire on his jian.

"That's a nice cobweb angel, much like you." [Blake]

"Muh." [Angelica]

Stop it with the cheesy pick-up lines!

In all seriousness, I spoke to him.

"Blake I have a plan." [Angelica]

"What is it?" [Blake]

"Stab and hold down a leg without using the enchant. I'll try to burn it with the crystal." [Angelica]

With a nod, Blake did what I instructed him to. I trimmed a bit of my skirt and wrapped it around the magic crystal and a sharp bone.

When the time came, I activated the crystal and it lit aflame as it flew towards the giant spider's abdomen, but it shot it with a stinger as it flew and it embedded itself on one of its legs instead.

"Damn you human!!" [Spider]

The flame slowly ate away its leg as it cursed me word after word.

I was going to inflict additional damage on it, but it escaped Blake's hold by forcefully amputating its two legs.

After, it sprayed some sticky liquid on us to escape.

(Blehh!)

"Angelica?!" [Blake]

"I'm alright..." [Angelica]

I couldn't dodge it in time and I was dosed with this thick, white, wet stuff. It was gross and some of it got on my face and into my mouth...

Urgh... I could still taste it and it is warm... disgusting... my clothing is also covered along with it. I used my fingers and scraped off what was left of it on my tongue.

I looked at Blake who was just a few meters away staring at me.

"What are you doing?" [Angelica]

"Nothing..." [Blake]

"Go distract it then!!" [Angelica]

When I finished talking. Blake, with great vigor and a bleeding nose. Showed a wide smile and gave me a thumbs-up before confronting the spider again. What's that suppose to mean?!

"Douse!!" [Angelica]

I used a novice water spell to remove some of the filth. I hate using spells as they take considerable amounts of energy, but it was sticky and is slowing me down.

Blake had become proficient at fighting the giant spider, the damage he has inflicted on it is accumulating making it weaker as time passed and also sliced off its fangs. He had no problems facing it as he dodges whatever the giant spider threw at him.

It was my turn to surprise the spider.

"Gotcha Bitch!" {3} [Angelica]

"Arrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" [Spider]

I had found an opening and had cut open and stabbed two of its eyes. This is payback for that gross liquid, I am never going to forget that god-awful taste.

The giant spider was maimed when Blake had cut off most of its legs.

"It was a mistake fighting you humans." [Spider]

"I told you that you have to work for it." [Blake]

"Hmpf!" [Spider]

It crawled over the pile of cocoons and separated the one that was wriggling too much.

"If I am going to perish here, I may as well take this one with me." [Spider]

"?! No! Don't!!" [Angelica]

The giant spider as it held the cocoon with its remaining legs stabbed it multiple times with the huge stinger on its bottom.

Blake had managed to stop it by stabbing it in the stomach, yet the damage was already done...

The cocoon with Irvine has... already stopped moving...

I was certain what the spider did was fatal... a large pool of blood began to spread out from the cocoon.

"No... no... no... Irvine..." [Angelica]

What... am I going to say to Maria...

I knelt in front of the bloodied cocoon.

"Despite being an asshole and a faggot, you didn't deserve to die like this..." [Angelica]

"Umm... Angelica." [Blake]

"Blake, not now..." [Angelica]

I will tell Maria that he exchanged his life to defend us from the huge spider.

"Angelica." [Blake]

"I won't call you cane boy anymore... and I won't tell Maria that you got bangged and penetrated by a spider... sniff..." [Angelica]

"What the hell?!" [Irvine]

"Sniff... even when dead... I can still hear your voice..." [Angelica]

"I'm over here retard!" [Irvine]

... ... ... I leaned back and I saw Irvine clawing his way out of a cocoon.

"Irvine? Irvine! You're alive!" [Angelica]

I quickly came up to him and helped him out.

(Slap! Slap!)

"Aw! Aw!!" [Irvine]

I gave him a good ol' slap on the back.

"I knew that you wouldn't die that easily!" [Angelica]

"Didn't you just mention that I died a moment ago?!" [Irvine]

"Meh." [Angelica]

"You wench..." [Irvine]

I just shrugged and smirked at him.

"But, how did you do it?" [Angelica]

"When the spider threw me, I blindly crawled away from where I had landed." [Irvine]

Ah, so he used the magic trick of switcheroo.

"So then... what are we going to do with you?" [Blake]

"This is not the end human..." [Spider]

"What are you gonna do about it?" [Angelica]

"I may be dying, but I'll make sure that you also perish here..." [Spider]

The three of us tensed up, the spider didn't seem like he was bluffing.

"Go get them, my children! Strip their flesh down to the bone!!" [Spider]

With a last great cry, the giant spider fell and shook the floor. We all prepared for what is going to happen.

At that moment, the giant spiders' abdomen ruptured. What came out of it were thousands upon thousands of tiny spiders.

KILL IT WITH FIRE!! {3}

"Firewall!!" [Irvine]

Irvine immediately made a wall of flame which separated us from them.

"We mustn't let these spiders get past us at all costs! If they manage to get through the village is doomed!" [Blake]

If I compare it to the baby diggers, this is much more dangerous and menacing. I was sure that the town could handle the baby diggers, but these numbers are overwhelming...

"I have a spell, but I need time..." [Irvine]

"Alright." [Blake]

"Let us handle this, for now..." [Angelica]

I used my wind enchant. When the •Firewall• dispersed I fired off a huge Crescent. What it did was actually useful, it gathered all of the cobwebs on its path and wrapped most of the tiny spiders with it giving us time. I wish that I had thought of this earlier to immobilize the giant spider.

While those that are trapped struggled to get out. We engaged those that tried to harm us.

I never bothered to change enchants, because of them being newborns I was sure that their shells are still soft and this bone blade would be able to cut through them. Also, because of their numbers, I needed my Speed Boost.

One by one we cut them down holding our ground. Each of the dead tiny bodies begins to pile up into a wall...

From the wall oozed disgusting spider innards and fluids... I can see Irvine's face going green because of it.

Please don't stutter your incantation, please don't stutter your incantation...

Oh god, he's going to barf. Come on don't fail us now!

"Purgatory!! Bleargh!" [Irvine]

As he finished his incantation, it was followed soon after by a colorful stream of rainbows coming out of his mouth.

Just as the tiny spiders broke through their constraints. A blaze erupts a few meters away from us and sweeps the whole area aflame, turning the tunnel into a ring of fire.

From our position, it seemed like a burning propellant going outside the barrel of the gun. Followed by a horrendous smell of burnt everything lol. Spiders, bones, hairs, skin, feathers you name it.

"Hahhh... how do you like that?" [Irvine]

Irvine wiping his mouth proclaimed as he showed us a high-level fire spell.

"I have to say that it was a good spell." [Blake]

"Mm, mm." [Irvine]

"It was good and all, but you also released something else aside from your spell, Irvine." [Angelica]

"You..." [Irvine]

"Huh?" [Angelica]

"You finally called me by my name." [Irvine]

"Well, I did say that I won't call you names anymore, but try to change that attitude of yours a little." [Angelica]

"... Okay..." [Irvine]

Instead of getting a rude remark, with a slight hesitation, he agreed. At least this is a start.

Then, the wall of tiny spider corpses fell on Irvine. When we dug him out he kept on saying "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I wouldn't make fun of insects anymore..."

He had spider guts and undescribable shit all over him...

To be honest, I felt bad for the guy, but he sure as hell deserved it! Insulting me for being scared of insects... now at least he knew what I felt.

Blake helped him up and I smiled at them.

(Drip...)

Something fell on my shoulder and I wiped it off.

(Drip...)

Again? I pointed the light crystal at where the dripping came from... and to my horror, I'd finally lost it...

"Ex..." [Angelica]

"Angelica?" [Blake]

"Ex...TERMINATE!!" [Angelica]

~~~Blake~~~

Going back I had to carry two frightened people that are scared as stone, but we all got back to the farm tunnel safely. There, I found Maria and Mooly who were anxiously waiting for us and we took them back to the inn.

Angelica was attacked or should I say startled earlier by a cave caterpillar. Cave caterpillars are the most docile of all the insects that even when cornered they wouldn't attack. Angelica was just spooked when she saw it... the caterpillar was just weaving its own home using the saliva from its mouth, which unluckily fell on her. She may have thought that it had tried to eat her or something...

"I hate insects... I hate insects..." [Angelica]

"I wouldn't make fun of insects anymore... I wouldn't make fun of insects anymore..." [Irvine]

They were both sitting on the ground cradling while holding their legs.

I'm afraid that we now have two people who are traumatized by insects...

References.

{1} Refers to Hagrid, the half-giant in Harry Potter who had a huge pet spider named Aragog.

{2} Ref to the Nargacurga in Monster Hunter. (Author's Note: Such an annoying bastard)

{3} Ref to one of Dave Chappelle's funny comedic jokes.

{4} A meme where you find a thing so disgusting and repulsive, that you wanted to immediately destroy it.