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Chapter 48: An uncertain feeling of expectation

“Having plans is not so bad, William. Same as not having one, because it's subjective. The Examination is approaching, so have you at least read through the documents I told you about a couple of days ago?” Mi-Yung tells after clearing her throat with some water from the cup.

“I did. Thrice actually. While the talk and information about them are interesting, the final day is all that matters. You said so yourself a month ago. I should not be too nervous about anything, since no change would come before it.”

“At least you remember my words. Good, I have no complaints. You still have 12 days left, so do everything according to your wishes. The date of the Examination is 17th of May. Your papers are finished, and so is your citizenship.” Mi-Yung says as she finishes the last bite of the sandwich.

“Great,” William mumbles through the sandwich.

“I am such a nice cook,” Mi-Yung mumbles as well, as she licks her messy fingers.

“B-barely...” William whispers beneath his nose while munching on a sandwich on his own.

“What was that?”

“Nothing at all. I like this sandwich.”

“I bet.”

This time, Mi-Yung isn't protesting about her cooking skills, which could be called average at best. With her income, she could afford to eat out every day, and she does, apart from the morning.

William eats his fill and left this home to go out. The time on his watch is getting near 3 quarters after 8 AM, so getting into the library in 15 minutes will be a challenge. Although Mi-Yung's suggestion about jogging to the library makes a nice addition for the morning.

It at least builds up stamina, which Mi-Yung argues is very important. So, he does what is told to him, since even the last month hasn't changed him on a fundamental level.

It only causes him to have more common sense. The historical aspect of the library and few rooms on the 6th floor has been, for the most part, breached by his eyes. William was quite throughout while doing so for the past weeks. He spent the majority of the week on the last 2 floors, and no one bothered him again. Maybe it was because he chose the better times?

He wasn't sure, since he like it this way. Since he would go to the upper floor right in the morning, the cause could be that no sane person would go there so early. That is at least his only guess.

Today might be no different. With the bottle in hand and something else in his pocket. A folded notebook, which was an idea of Ellie, who tried to persuade him to make notes of important things for himself. All in order to make notes about things that would be bothersome to look for, or remember.

William has already written around 36 pages worth of information, which is 36 times more than he would have done without it. That is quite impressive to his mathematical proficiency, which is not that great.

As he runs, he did not make it there on time, but that did not matter. 5 minutes or not, it is not a big deal.

It is the morning already, but running in the summer with long sleeves and trousers is not optimal. Sweating a bit, he feels great otherwise. He wishes he could work top-less like the farms, where no one bothered him being a Walker or not.

Here in the Federation, it is a form of etiquette, which William snorts upon while accepting it for Mi-Yung's sake.

He is at least not blatantly running with his emblem wide open. In the same way, one is not running completely naked. Though it is a rather strange comparison, it makes sense in William's head.

Seeing the familiar and tall building of the Grand Library of the Federation, William walks inside.

“Here we go again...”

“Good morning, Will.” Ellie greets him in the politeness of her uniform.

“Morning Ellie,” William says back while continuing forth, with Ellie following him behind.

“Already behind my back? Are there no customers or visitors of the library who need more help than me?”

“No.” Ellie says with an open smile and an answer. She will do what she sees fit since even Burton has not argued about anything for the past 3 weeks. Her new shift schedule has been quite considerate of her.

She even wondered if he set it up with certain intentions, but there wouldn't be a reason for it. She couldn't find any answer to it, so it was probably a conscience.

“I will go to the 6th floor again though.” William shot downs Ellie's attempt to spend the majority of time with him.

“Again? Why are you spending so much time in a place I can't visit you in? Is that intentional?” Ellie argues while feeling even more helpless than ever. She knows that he is not fleeting from her, but it still feels unfair to her.

It is... a simple case of her utmost frustration that comes from the last weeks of her unfruitful tries.

Alas, she knows that today is the day of his birthday. Although, he is saying nothing of it since the premise of birthdays in today's world is rather over. Not many people are caring enough for their own passing years. It is more of a question of other people's lack of interest or, in a way, the lack of need for it to begin with.

Ellie likes these days for many reasons, since her parents cared for that day when their daughter came to be.

Like them, Ellie likes to take care of other people's birthdays, so at least one day would feel more special than others. Making small gifts or simple wordy gifts to them is enough to make a small difference in the world.

She knows it makes other people happy, and William's case has been her project for weeks... though, with the utmost unknown of what he would like, or her flustered attempts in her heart.

So, she decided to do what she could, but that would wait for the night when her shift would end, and she would go find him. Usually somewhere on the upper floors, or lazily sitting on a sofa on the 3rd floor.

“I see no answer to what I can give you. I have last two weeks, so I had to use this time as best as I can.” William excuses himself while stepping away from Ellie, who is obstructing his path.

Not like he doesn't like it, since her accompaniment goes a long way with her comments and small lectures. Those talks have become briefer over time since the topics keep on decreasing.

William is already done with the basics of the lower floors below the 6th one. He will visit them every 3 days for a couple of hours to recoup his memory. Otherwise, he is spending the rest of the days on the upper floor. Especially the 5th and 6th ones.

He finds the things on the lower floors not as interesting since he is a Walker. He needs to know what's up with the monsters and history alike.

Ellie pouts in displeasure at his clear excuses, but there is no point in stopping him right now. She has to figure out the sentences to say to him tonight, and she has plenty of time for that.

She watches him as he leaves for the upper floors.

There, William spends the remaining time in the deep lore of the Dark Beings. The 6th floor has a plethora of information, and no one bothers him since the last time 2 weeks ago.

Though, it is not like he is all lonely here. There are usually a couple of other visitors who make small visits to certain cabinets. Perhaps for the sole purpose of refreshment of memory, or looking for something specific.

Older, middle-aged, or youths have made silent visits, while they did only that. Silent and without bothering William, who has always been seated at the table.

He enjoys this quite a bit, unlike the noisy asshat called Stark or how is his name from William's memory. Though, he could still not get that day over his mind, which is quite a rarity in his case. He always believed he is good at ignoring bothersome and noisy people.

William notes it must have been because of those strangely shaped brows, or the way that youth talked to him as if he was the biggest boss in the universe. He couldn't help but sneer at these thoughts.

Hours pass and information about the many kinds of Dark Beings is left on the table. William reads through them for like a 5th time. Making notes of the most distinct features or weaknesses of these monsters in his diary is his attempt to not forgot them. After all, this diary will go with him for a long time.

However, it has always been about the low-rank monsters since William had plenty of them to go through. In truth, he even includes Jawran in these notes. A rank 5 Dark Being and others as well. Though he never touched rank 6 or higher, so there would not be any trouble for him.

He shouldn't even be touching rank 5s, as he found out throughout the times of his teachings. No one is here to question him about anything, so he tossed this issue from his heart a long time ago.

William assumes there must be some sort of surveillance or something, but he never found out anything.

His left hand rests on his chin, while the right hand is drawing a caricature or smaller parts of the monster's pictures in his notebook.

“Huuh...” sighting deeply, he feels like the times are getting a little out of hand. He doesn't feel burned out as he understands that term quite well by now.

It is more about the incoming nervousness once again. He feels like the expectation that he became to understand is surrounding the Walkers and Dark beings alike. It leaves a huge wound on his mind that not even Mi-Yung anticipated. Her words of encouragement from a month ago have been helpful, and the time since then was great.

Only recently, as he was finishing his latest preparations of information for the Examination, his mind began to flicker. Not in a good way, since he couldn't wrap his head around it. He even has trouble sleeping and focusing on tougher topics.

Dropping the pencil to the page of the finished Jawran's side wings, William feels like he doesn't feel like continuing to do this any longer.

Looking at his left wrist, the watch is telling him it hasn't even been lunch yet. Not like it matters to him since he is skipping lunches for a long time already. He usually ate his fill in the morning while having another meal after learning everything he could at night.

His reason for it is that the empties mind and stomach cause a brighter and lighter head. The memories and information float to his head much easier this way. There is no proof of it, as Ellie couldn't help but laugh at his words when he explained it to her a couple of weeks ago.

“What next?” He asks out loud with a mood that shifts to the unknown.

Leaning on the chair, he places both of his hands behind his head. Looking at the ceiling that has a round light that illuminates each table on its own. He wonders about nothing but everything at the same time.

His worries are all about the future, which couldn't be solved or lessened in a singular and sudden moment.

He leans back like this for a couple of minutes, and he doesn't know that he is not alone in this room anymore.

“Ehm. Ehm.” A cough echoed in the room.

William jolts his head and looks in front of him.

There, stands a cloaked man, who puts a chair on the other side of the table. Sitting down, William looks at him with question and wonders since he never heard anyone enter this room. He wasn't here before, and William would recognize it for sure.

Yet, this man. He has seen him before.