Chapter 14:
We got the butterfly in the stomach!
…it’s a moth though
“There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don’t got a lot to say
But there’s something about her
And you don’t know why
But you’re dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl”
– Kiss the Girl, <1>
The Little Mermaid
* * * * *
Let’s begin with a short flash-back.
*woosh*
“Okay. Now what?”
“Now, throw me.”
“…”
“…”
“…Eh?”
*woosh*
Indeed, short flash-back.
…
Still running from the [Stillborn Corrupted Moth “Monarch”], amongst the laser beams and shattering stones, and with Victoria clutching to Athena’s arm like a cute little monkey, the two girls discussed strategy… kind of.
“Don’t ‘Eh?’ me! We’re on tight schedule here!”
“But…”
“No buts nor butts! What’s with the dumb face?! I say ‘throw me’, not ‘blow me’! Snap out of it. You throw me. I break the stony thingy with the [Crack] spell. Then I fall. I can’t survive that. So we switch, and you take the damage. Got it?”
“Tha-That’s not a plan!”
*ZWEEEE**BAM*
While shouting, Athena sidestepped out of the way of several flying debris.
“That is for me! Now, if you don’t have a better idea, do as I say before Papi-chan gets away from Spike-san. Though I don’t know what a harpy and a dragon are doing here.”
“What are you talking ab… Aaaaah…”
Athena let out a sigh of resignation and turned around, now facing the putrid lepidoptera. Displaying her amazing memory and psychomotricity, she continued to run backwards while avoiding obstacles.
Victoria could only gawk in awe at this show of skills. She was so awed in fact, that she completely forgot what they were talking about. Thus she was quite taken aback when the Shieldbearer raised her above her head, taking only seconds to aim…
“OAH! Wait! I’m not mentally prepa-”
…and fired.
“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARED!!!”
Soaring through the air like a red white-haired missile – Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Superman? Nope… just a passing bat – the dhampir screamed with… undeniable courage… all the while cursing whoever reckless imbecile came up with this joke of a plan.
It’s me though…
*ZWEEEEEE*
Caught up in her… bravery… she didn’t notice the laser which nearly vaporised her toes. Though since she didn’t notice, everything was fi~ine.
“Hahaha!! ♫ I believe I can flyyyyyyyy-UAGH!!” <2>
The world disagreed with the mad Princess’ sudden will to turn this fight into a music-hall, and the stalagmite materialised said disagreement with uncaring violence.
- 53 HP
Ouch. I really am too weak for this. And I completely forgot that my left arm was out.
Slowly peeling away from the stalagmite after her glorious horizontal faceplant, Victoria hurriedly grabbed the uneven stone with her valid hand. She thus found herself hanging far above ground… and fighting her usual desire to let go to count the seconds until *splarsh*.
In her opinion, that was a very valide way to test the gravity inside Untold Tales, by comparing the acceleration with her mass et cetera… Elric had actually been quite close to determining the exact mass of the planet, but the uncertainty that remained, about the potential passive effect of ambient magic on physics, kept bothering him. Not to mention he wasn’t even sure the gravitational constant <3> in this world still was 6.674x10^(-11) N⋅m2/kg2… But that didn’t stop Victoria from continuing the experiments.
She had weird hobbies.
Ultimately though, she decided against committing educated suicide – for the sake of the team. She nevertheless casted a curious glance downwards, and witnessed the unsightly appearance of a very pissed Monarch.
Apparently the boss did not appreciate much seeing its preys leisurely flying around. Well, the poor bastard had been trying its earnest to obliterate the two adventuress, yet they kept ignoring its attempts and only ran all over the place while discussing game mechanics without a care in the world. One could understand the monster felt sulky. And now the shortest prey even tried to sing with mirth. With MIRTH!!
Unforgiveable.
True, as a new-born undead – paradox? – the thing held little self-awareness or feelings of any kind, but the two clowns – though Athena became one only due to her partner’s bad influence – were slowly awakening in itself a sentiment of annoyance. The kind you had when a fly you were attempting to swat kept giving you the middle finger.
“HRRRRRUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!”
Translation: “DAAAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!”
Sensitive to the creature’s newfound sense of self, Victoria actively went back to sending Monarch its first birthday candle. A big, heavy, pointy candle… made of stone. Though they lacked the cake, the dhampir was vaguely confident that the monster wouldn’t complain if she stuck it in its back.
Well… obviously. Dead moth tells no tale… nor blows birthday candles…
“There’s a crack in your rug! What’d you say? It’s a drug! [Crack]!”
I never understood that incantation…
Right before her pitiable strength failed to continue supporting her own weight, Victoria casted the spell.
A small crack, barely a couple decimetres deep, spread from the edge she had been clinging onto. However it was sufficient. Under the efficient cooperation of mister Mass and miss Gravity – a nice couple if not from a mechanical standpoint <4> – the crack deepened, and soon the whole stalagmite became baseless. Thus it fell. And so did the Princess.
“AAAAAAAAAAAthena! Now or ne-”
“[Castling]!”
“-ver! …Oh.”
*BAAAAAAM*
As soon as the now familiar darkness – Victoria became familiar easily when something interested her – receded, the dhampir girl found herself safely on the ground and witnessed her soulmate crashing along with the stone tusk.
Actually, because it was Athena, and because she was both calculative AND badass, she hadn’t just “crashed” with the stalagmite. After taking the place of Victoria mid-air, she had latched onto the rock, executed a backflip, thrown herself upwards, did another flip, and dropkicked the improvised spike down with all her might, thus both accelerating the monstrous stabbing apparatus and reducing her own momentum.
Drooling from amazement – yes that was a thing – Victoria didn’t hesitate.
“S-Screenshot. Screenshot! SCREEEEEEENSHOOOOT!!! AAAAAAAAH!!! Where’s the burst mode on that thing?!?”
“Vicky!”
From behind the ineluctable cloud of dust, a hurried husky voice resounded.
“Incoming!!”
Snapping out of her paparazzi fever, the Progenitor rushed in… at a moderate pace.
“Hey! I’m going as fast as I can!”
Stop breaking the fourth wall.
“Oh. Sorry.”
With all the debatable might of her untrained pins, the feeble and frail girl tentatively limped forwards with less velocity than an arthritic sloth under morphine.
“That’s harassment!”
Aaaaand… she tripped and fell.
“Wha- Oah!! Ouch!”
- 2 HP
He he he.
“The fuck is going o… YOU!”
THE ALMIGHTY CHAOS: Mwhahahahaha! I’ve been found out.
“Stop hijacking my narrator!”
TEA ALMIGHTY CHAOS: But I’m sooooo bored!!
“Well, find someone else to annoy.”
THE ALMURPHY’S LAW: Nah! You’re all obsessed by that Athena ever since you met her. It’s “Thena this!” and “Thena that!”. Where’s our old complicity? I feel rejected.
“I never accepted you.”
Chaos: Tha-That’s so mean! I was the one who got you two girls together!
“Well, thank you~ ♥… Especially about the GIRL part! Now leave me the fuck alone! Why can’t you mess with someone else?”
Absolutely-not-blushing Chaos: It… It’s not like yo-yo-you’re the only one!
“VICKY!!”
“RIGHT THERE!! Seriously, I’m busy. Narra-kun?”
Yes Boss! Damn this guy. Sorry ‘bout that, dear readers. I, the Official Narrator… aka Narra-kun apparently… is back… Great, now everybody will be confused about the limits of the world… Please just forget what you just read. *sigh* Anyway… eeeeh… So? Where was I... Ah. Right.
*cough*
Trying to ignore the annoying divinity, Victoria stood back up and resumed her moderately-paced race towards the cloud of dust, which had been raised by the crashing stalagmite. She was unable to see, however the sounds she perceived nevertheless told her that Monarch had yet to bite the dust… figuratively speaking.
Sulking Chaos: What does that unwomanly bodybuilder have got that I haven’t?
“AAAAAARH!!! Everything! She’s fun. She’s amazing. She’s gorgeous… Man, my tastes are screwed up… Anyway. Please shut up.”
Pouting and absolutely-ABSOLUTELY-not-blushing Chaos: Ba-BAKA!
“…”
Chaos(?): …
“…I don’t swing that way.”
Chaos: Well, technically I don’t have a gender.
“Oh.”
Chaos: Yes.
“VIIIIIICKYYYYY!!!”
“HRRUUUUUUUUUIIIIIII!!!”
“Oh, damn.”
Chaos: I think you should stop wasting time.
“I’m really going to find a weapon that can kill gods one of these days, you know?”
No other heavenly message came after that.
Rolling her eyes around in annoyance, Victoria accelerated the best she could and, while running, ripped her wrist opened with her teeth.
- 1 HP
With her [Hematokinesis (Higher)] she controlled her blood, making it flow out of the wound and forming a drill-shaped weapon around her right forearm. She immediately felt light-headed and tottered slightly, but she managed to stay up. Under her mental command, the drill then began spinning wheezily. Her new weapon was actually too heavy for her to lift, but since it was half-levitating, she managed.
She eventually stepped into a clearing in the middle of the particle haze, where the trashing of the agonising monster had blasted away the grinded stone in suspension.
What she discovered was a skewered moth twice as thick as she was tall. The creature was pinned down and screaming its spiracles <5> out. Dark orange-red blood was splattering all over the place, and especially on the tall copper-headed woman in black armour who was straddling the moth’s thorax, holding both its antennas in her left gauntlet and meticulously pummelling its eyes with her right.
Confronted with such a spectacle, Victoria didn’t hesitate… She took another screenshot… Then she darted for the maw, raising her blood weapon which began to spin even faster, and let her inner fanboy take over her body.
“WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!”
Victoria jumped and violently stabbed her drill between Monarch’s jaws. She mentally made it thinner and longer, piercing deeper and deeper until a startled cry from above informed her she had dug her way to the top.
Indeed, Athena was staring with horror at the pointy spinning stake that had just appeared between her legs, from the inside of the monster.
Then a predatory grin spread on the dhampir’s face.
“Eveningstar.”
From the lance running through Monarch’s brain, innumerable spikes branched out, reducing its nervous centre to shreds. A torrent of blood poured onto Victoria, but she was thankful because it hid the intense blushing that had invaded her face from having named her attack herself.
“Hehehe… I’m awesome… Though that hematokinesis is… seriously… O… P…”
She fainted.
Anaemia.
From above the slumping boss, Athena witnessed her friend collapsing on the ground, covered in sticky undead blood and grinning broadly like an idiot. She rested her face in her palm and dejectedly shook her head.
What is that that girl doing...?
She averted her eyes from the fainted dhampir and looked around. From her vantage point, she had a good view of the whole cave. The place which before looked like a marvel of nature was now a field of ruins. Shattered rock and collapsed columns littered the ground. The boss monster under her was a mess. It was skewered through its centre and its front now barely qualified as more than an agglomerate of destroyed flesh spiked with ruby needles.
And she herself was covered with blood and stone dust. Her breathing was rough. She had no idea what just happened, and even less how they had ended up victorious.
Then a loud snore echoed through the now silent battleground. Athena’s eyes widened and her gaze fell back on the pale unconscious girl and her stupid grin. Victoria was now sleeping peacefully on the stone floor, in a pool of gore and blood, surrounded by chaos and death.
“Pffff…”
A weird sensation crept up Athena’s throat. Something she hadn’t felt in… how long? She couldn’t remember.
“Ha… Ha… Hahaha… Hahahahahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…”
Sitting atop the corpse of a giant undead moth, the Soulbound of the craziest Progenitor continued to laugh by herself, relaxing completely for the first time in years. Her nerves had finally snapped, and she looked insane, but she didn’t care.
Later, she knew, the anger and fears would come back, but right now, next to her friend, a merry sociopath blissfully asleep in a literal bloodbath, Athena couldn’t help but think none of her worries really mattered.
* * *
Some time later… twenty-three minutes, eleven seconds and two hundredths to be exact…
“…a-AAAHNN~ ♥”
A loud moan resounded in the cave and a smirking dhampir stood up, licking her bloodied lips and testing her recently restored shoulder.
“Waaahh… Barefangs feeding is the best! Thena sweetie, nothing can compare to your thick hot fluid flowing down my throat, sucked right from th-OUCH!!”
A loud punch resounded in the cave and a still smirking dhampir fell flat on her ass, rubbing her painful abdomen.
“That’s mean Caramel… What was that for?”
“You’re enjoying yourself too much!” the Shieldbearer replied while blushing. “And stop with the lewd play and the food names. That’s embarrassing.”
Victoria pouted ostensibly and let herself fall backwards, fixing the ceiling and hugging herself lovingly.
“AAAH? But two sweaty females embracing each other in a pool of blood is sooo hot! And I know you like having me inside you like tha- Wooplah!”
*BAM*
“Careful Candy dearest. I might die you know~… even if I’m undead. Yohohohoho!”
With a swift and inelegant roll, Victoria put herself out of reach from a fist that instead, in a splatter of moth blood, left a deep indentation in the stone ground.
“You personality is very imbalanced, you know that?” commented the pale girl as she stood up.
“Your one to talk,” Athena retorted, also pulling herself up and re-equipping her forearm protector.
“Naaaah. I’m intentionally screwed up. That’s not imbalance. That’s madness, not Sparta. You, on the other end, you’re kind of bipolar. One moment you’re a shy self-depreciating mess, the next you’re an authoritative Asura of Wrath. Both are kinda fun by the way. Is it that you’re not comfortable with others being in command?”
“…somthinglikedat.”
“Mmmh…” Victoria shrugged, not really interested by her friend’s answer.
She then turned towards the corpse of the defeated boss. Her gaze swept across the mangled body and settled down on the protruding stalagmite. She tilted her head in ponder.
“You, know… Now that I think of it… Doesn’t the [Soulmate] skill give us a shared mana pool in close range?”
“…”
“Hahaha… I guess that [Ichor Potion] wasn’t really needed after all.”
“…”
“Haha… What’s with the silence Thena?”
“…Vi~cky ♥”
“What is it Sugar Cube? …Ah! No! NOOOO!!! Sit Asura! Bad Asura! Waaaaaaaaah!! Urgent report: Negotiation failed. Engaging evasion mode. Three. Two. Four. Twenty-six. Dash!”
The frail princess tried to run away, but her pursuer was simply too overwhelming. Punishment was dealt and head hurt.
“Owowowow… I think I actually prefer you when you’re meeker… Aren’t you supposed to be less assertive?”
“I’d be an even worse failure as a human being if I didn’t at least try to correct your misguided ways. Money isn’t something you throw away like that. Be a little more considerate.”
Athena being Athena, she threw the comment while already regaining her composure. She then began scanning their surroundings for potential unexpected threats, something that had become akin to a reflex to her.
Victoria, on her side, was actually reflecting…
Note to self: do not spent gold carelessly… in front of Thena.
…sort of.
“So… you’ll try to correct me while I try to corrupt you? Searching for a state of equilibrium? Isn’t that basic chemistry? Alchemy? Ying and Yang? Or maybe is it feng shui? Energy harmonisations and all that… HEY!! Since when am I a force for Evil? I’m a kid-friendly sociopath!”
“You’re the one who called yourself corrupted. And I’m not sure our… partnership has anything to do with fen-”
“Any-hoooow,” interrupted Victoria with a twirl, to which Athena just resignedly sighed. “What now?”
The Shieldbearer threw her a sidelong glance, before resuming her observation of the destroyed surroundings, apparently in deep thoughts and trying to recall something.
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“What do you mean?” she asked distractedly.
“Well, I’m not too knowledgeable about the quest thing… I usually does whatever goes through my mind, so-”
“Ah, right. Elric Walker,” Athena suddenly muttered.
Victoria eructed a strange noised which, to the trained ear, could easily be mistaken for the cry of pain of the mandrill being stabbed by a rhinoceros while imitating a zebra. A very difficult impersonation, if any.
“WHERE IS HE?! ….ah. I-I-I mean… wha-what about him?” the Princess questioned with a very, VERY, tensed smile.
“What? Oh. Sorry. Did I blurted that out loud?”
The dhampir nodded fervently, while trying to keep her heart rate under a hundred beats per minute, which was already high for a normal human, let alone for a half-undead.
“Do you know him? Ah, right, you were a Deep Explorer too. Did you ever met him?” Athena asked with disarming innocence.
“…Di-Did we met? Eeeeh… Not exactly. Whyyy?” *sweat* *sweat*
“Ah… It’s just that my sister’s a big fan of his and she always talks about how funny everything he does is. Something was bugging me since a few days ago, because the way you explain everything you do reminded me of something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then I just remembered that it sounded like what Sis told me about the Wandering Knight.”
“Well… eeeh… The truth is I’m… I’m a fan too! Yes! Real fan! HAHAHAHAHA!! Elric Walker, what a guy, right?”
Me gonna send an autograph to her sister, along with a good chunk of shut-your-mouth…
“Vicky, you sound nervous…”
“Do-Do-Do I?”
“Yeah…”
“I-Impopopopopo-posible!”
“Ah. Maybe… You know him well. Am I right?”
“N-N-No-N-No wa-wa-way-way…”
“…”
“…”
“Vicky… Could it be you…”
Have I been found out?! NOOOOO!! This is way too soon! Aaaaaah… No, keep it together. As long as she doesn’t know that I’m her classmate, I can still pull something of…
“Thena, I-”
“Did you date him?”
“…uh?”
If morphology had permitted it, Victoria’s lower jaw would have collided with the floor right then. Athena however, totally oblivious to her friend’s dumbfounded state, was rambling on her own while blushing furiously.
“No. I mean, that’s normal. You told me you were into girls, but I never asked if you were only into girls. Obviously, someone unwomanly like me is impossible… but if you like guys too, I guess…”
“Oh. Thena.”
“Obviously, you’d have previous experiences. Plus you two have similar interests…”
“Earth to Thena.”
“Anyway, I’m just a boring woman who can do nothing put punch people and run away, how can I comp-”
“Oh! Thena. I’m talking to you.”
“Ah! Right. Sorry. I said something awkward. I didn’t want to put you in a situ-”
With a very pissed growl, Victoria grabbed the tall Shieldbearer by the collar of her plastron, forced her down – thankfully the other didn’t resist – and shut the tall woman up with a languorous kiss. The Shieldbearer’s eyes widened in surprise. Then, as soon as she was convinced Athena wouldn’t start talking again, the Princess released her lips, but not her armour, and glared angrily in her amber eyes.
Athena gulped at the sight of the two slit-pupil of the mostly red jewels stabbing through her skull. The pale girl was clearly smiling, yet only killing intent emanated from her beautiful face.
“Thena,” Victoria dangerously murmured, “if you ever again as much as suggest that I might be ‘into guys’, I slit your throat. Am I clear?”
Athena vigorously nodded, her previous assessment of her friend’s unstable mentality noisily recalling itself to her.
“Good.” The dhampir stepped back and her usual worriless smile bloomed back on her face. “Oh, but don’t take that threat to harshly. Hahaha. It’s a game after all.”
Athena once again nodded, her face red and almost fuming, and Victoria’s smile broadened, the incident apparently forgotten. However, behind her happy and calm façade, the Progenitor was in thoughts bashing her head against a wall.
AAAAAAAH!! What did I just do?! That’s Eva! EVA!!! You know? Greeting-you-with-a-book-in-the-face Eva! Stabbing-at-your-eye-with-a-fork Eva! Guillotining-your-thumb-in-a-doorframe Eva! That Eva!! Why did I just kiss her? Am I insane? ...probably. BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!! Did I really fall for that creepy budding psycho? Maybe? But even if I loved her, feelings aside, she’s a lesbian! And I’m… completely losing it. God, I think I get why sex-switching is forbidden in VR without a shitload of paperwork and the approval of a psychiatrist. Should I contact Whatever to get fixed? But… But it’s so much fuuuuun!!! AAAAAH… Fun, or sanity? Not really a question but… What am I supposed to do from now on? I can’t see this ending well.
Victoria shot a discreet glance towards Athena, and saw that the latter was staring at her feet, her face still close to overheating.
Really can’t see this ending well…
She sighed.
Guess gotta just be lil’ ol’ me… Nothing’s a problem until it blows up in your face. That’s my motto… Right, let’s go with that. I want her… I think… And she’s probably willing too. I’ll take my chance… I still kinda feel like scum though.
“Thena?”
The Shieldbearer snapped to attention. She looked so jumpy that Victoria couldn’t repress a little chuckle.
“Did anyone ever told you that you’re overly smart, but sometimes your logic is completely screwed up? What the hell made you think I would date El… that guy?”
I mean… That’s majorly fucked up… Even I am not THAT narcissistic… But she couldn’t know that.
Athena looked away, uncomfortable.
“I… Nothing. Just a hunch I guess.”
Female instinct is scary.
“And yes, my sister told me the exact same thing yesterday.”
“Oh, why?”
The question had been idle, yet Victoria was surprised to discover that the copper-headed woman’s face could rise another shade of red. In fact, it was rather disturbing to see the mighty Athena act with mimics that clearly would have best suited the bookworm Eva.
“That… Well…”
“Ah, no. You don’t need to answer that. I know I wouldn’t,” Victoria tried to shrug it off.
“No, that’s nothing big. It’s just that there’s a guy at school who’s trying to get close to me… I think. And Sis thought he had a thing for me but…”
Female instinct… scary. I take back what I said. Miss Eva’s sister, please continue talking about whatever pleases you. I shall not oppose you in any way.
“But?” Victoria pressed, though she really wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the rest.
“But I was sure he was gay.”
Once again, the cry of the agonising mandrill echoed in the cave.
HOW DO I LOOK GAY TO YOU?! Seriously, why does she want to pair me with men whatever my form is? Am I doomed to gayness? Is it karma? Is it Tutanokaman’s curse? Is that a thing?
“Vicky… Are you alright?”
The dhampir raised her gaze from her facepalm, and looked at a genuinely worried Athena. Well, her primate imitation had been remarkably weird.
“Yes. I’m just a little tired by… by Life I suppose. I have no idea what I’ll do with so much lemonade. And I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mind. Not that it is an unpleasant feeli-oufff!”
- 4 HP
All of a sudden, Victoria found herself in a bear hug. A metallic bear hug. By a bear with a Strength stat overwhelming her own by over two hundred points. Needless to say, it hurt. Yet it felt oddly comfortable, though she was in a mood to blame the [Masochism] skill for that, seeing this game had obviously decided to screw with her brain.
“Don’t worry, Vicky. No matter how insane you become, I’ll always be your friend.”
No… I’d prefer if you kept your distances if I really lose it… But… Oh well, I guess it’s fine.
Victoria rested her head against Athena’s plastron. She was actually relieved that she was still somehow friend-zoned, even after that impromptu saliva exchange earlier. Truth be told however, the pale “girl” couldn’t have known – a fact that probably saved Nicolas’ already moribund male pride – that Eva’s experience in skinship vastly outstripped her own.
The only reason why Athena was acting so flustered was a mix of surprise, confused feelings, being on the receiving end of the aforementioned skinship, as well as the remnants of her earlier unusual laughing outburst and a few other circumstantial variables. The act of kissing in itself wasn’t really weighting on her mind, nor was she reading much into it. She usually took more notice of people’s words than their actions, contrary to Victoria who rarely listened to what others said but always liked to interpret every small gestures, especially her own.
After some time, the dhampir’s face turned serious and she distanced herself from the tall woman.
“So… Now that we pledged each other everlasting friendship in sanity or madness, I must ask you a question.”
“Yes?” Athena responded, quickly adopting the same serious tone.
“Ice-cream. What flavour?”
“…pardon?”
Somewhere in heaven, the God of Seriousness choked on a fishbone.
“Come on! It’s customary to seal friendship in ice-cream, don’t you know that?”
“Ah? No… Is it? But… Vicky, there’s no ice-cream in the game.”
“WHAT?!” Victoria was horrified, then she lowered her gaze in defeat. “How could it be?! How careless… No ice-cream? This is blasphemy.”
“Are we really having this discussion next to a corpse in a boss room?”
“Welcome in my world!” the Crazy One exclaimed, immediately perking up.
She then waltzed away from the pool of blood. Athena followed, observing the surroundings and warily sending regular glances at the dhampir who had adopted her feared thinking pose and was muttering to herself.
“Mmmmh… Can’t use holy-OWOWOWOWow… ouch… Almighty assholes. I mean, can’t use light magic. Happy? … So… Right… How does it go again… Come on… I relearnt it two days ago… Come on… Come on… Tri-elemental magic… Water plus wind plus fire…”
“Vicky… What are you trying to do?” Athena asked prudently.
“Nothing dangerous, don’t worry,” Victoria waved her off. “Yes. I think it was…”
“Even if you say that…”
“Ah! This is it! Washing by hand is such a pain, let magic remove the stain! [Laundry]!”
A gust of hot wet wind suddenly enveloped them. The warm fog penetrated their clothes and brushed past their skin. Athena’s heart skipped a beat, but as promised nothing dangerous happened, if not for the discomfort of being rubbed all over her body at once.
After the mist dissipated, the Shieldbearer discovered that both of them were as clean as if they had just stepped out of a bath, except they weren’t even wet. Their equipment too had been scrubbed of all the blood, dust and bodily fragments that had covered it.
For some reason though, Athena felt her now chronic headache coming back.
“Vicky…”
“Neat, right? It’s called [Laundry], but if you cast it on the clothes you are wearing, it actually washes your body too.”
“Did you just use a legendary tri-elemental spell… to wash clothes?”
“I met a weird archmage once. Pretty fun guy. He was guarding a lost library. I think I was supposed to defeat him to get access, but we sorta hit it off instead. You wouldn’t believe what people invent in their moments of boredom, especially immortals. You know what they say, ‘Eternity is long, especially near the end’…” the Progenitor shrugged. “So? Ice-cream flavour?”
“Do you even listen to… *sigh* Strawberry.”
“How girly of you.”
“Got a problem with that?” Athena frowned.
“Nope.” The other smiled teasingly. “Wait two seconds. And catch me please. Untold Tales. Log out!”
“What? Whoa!”
Victoria’s eyes suddenly became vitreous and her body slumped down like a marionette whose strings had been cut. The Shieldbearer rushed to catch her, internally grumbling that her reaction time was being thoroughly trained with a friend like that.
▲ ▲ ▲
You have logged out.
Linked Time [15:11:00]
Relatively round number. Not bad. But we should probably take a break after getting out of the dungeon. A real break. I need to sleep. And take a bath.
Today was Saturday morning and, depressed by Dorothy’s fate, Nicolas had barely slept since Thursday, only making short pauses to eat and stretch a bit. After Athena’s return, the adrenaline had kept Victoria going, but the human behind the dhampir knew his true body wouldn’t hold up much longer.
Shaking off the drowsiness, Nicolas trotted towards the kitchen and took a bottle of Coke out of the fridge. He drank just enough to restart his engine, but without risking to be forcefully disconnected by his W-Chair for “physiologic emergency” – a pretty useful feature though – and then jumped on his sofa, scarring the Ever-Napping King McLeon to death.
He reached out, grabbed his laptop on the coffee-table and opened UT official webpage. A couple clicks later, the forums were before his eyes. However he didn’t select any thread and instead went to his inbox to write a private message.
From: Elric Walker
To: Elric’s Follower1
Hey, dude… No ice-cream? Seriously?
PS: I like coconut, mint, chocolate, dragon blood and strawberry.
He send the message, then closed the computer.
“Well, that should take care of itself.”
▼ ▼ ▼
Victoria opened her eyes again and immediately jumped aside to evade a punch.
“Don’t do that again,” growled a husky voice. “Being killed in a fight is something, but I don’t want my guide to die from hitting her head on the ground. You’re a weakling, keep that in mind.”
“Hahaha. S’ry. Emergency call. …Did you just call me a weakling?”
“Whatever… Ah. What were you saying before?”
The dhampir narrowed her dichromatic eyes, the pupil once again twitching from round to slit and red taking over its blue encirlement.
“You mean before you rudely interrupted me by spouting the name of my supposed ex-boyfriend?”
“…yeah. S’ry ‘bout that.”
“No biggie. Well, I was just saying. I’m not too used to formal questing, but I think we should report Butterfreak’s death to the NPC who gave us the quest, right?”
“Normally yes… Ah.”
“Yeah. See where I’m going?”
“Yes. How are we supposed to contact him? Do you have any idea?”
“None.”
“Kekeke. Quite a predicament, is it not?”
“…”
“…”
Wordlessly, Victoria reached out inside her inventory.
“Toto. Balls Crusher Inferno.”
“ROOOOOOAR!!”
“WHAAAAAAAAA!!!”
“GET THAT GHOST TOTO!!!”
“ARGH!! Respect your elders, young one!”
“Shut up geezer! MWHAHAHAHA!! Ore-sama will turn you into a plush!”
“I refuse!”
“Resistance is futile! Surrender peacefully, and I shall let you choose between Mister Bunny and Mister Kitty-Cat! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”
“RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARR!!!!”
Once again, the cave shook, this time filled with the cacophony of a surreal fight between a teleporting ghost fleeing for his unlife, a pale dhampir Princess throwing [Soul Blasts] randomly and laughing like a maniac, and a roaring stuffed puppy breathing ethereal fire while trying to bite the crotch of the aforementioned ghost.
*sigh*
Standing still in the middle of the ongoing mayhem, like an unshakeable beacon in a storm, a tall copper-headed woman lifted her amber eyes towards the ceiling and sighed, yet a small half-smile was floating on her lips.
“Well… I guess this is kind of fun.”
*ting*
Chaos approves.
Luck +3
* * * * *
<1> As a matter of facts, this song is a little creepy if you remove the context…
Spoiler :
<2> Aaaaah… Memories…
Spoiler :
Oh. Wrong one.
Spoiler :
<3> Because, according to the law of universal gravitation, the attractive force (F) between two bodies is directly proportional to the product of their masses (m1 and m2), and inversely proportional to the square of the distance, r, (inverse-square law) between them. Aaaaand, the constant of proportionality, G, is the gravitational constant. You learnt something… maybe.
Spoiler :
https%3a%2f%2fupload.wikimedia.org%2fwikipedia%2fc...tation.svg [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0e/NewtonsLawOfUniversalGravitation.svg]
<4> That’s a technical joke.
<5> Butterflies and moths don’t have lungs… though they normally don’t have mouths either… don’t sweat the details… Anyway, they breathe through spiracles, which are on the sides of their bodies.
Spoiler :
http%3a%2f%2f4.bp.blogspot.com%2f-xnepQFPnfoU%2fTe...25255D.jpg [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xnepQFPnfoU/TeMJZxM3o2I/AAAAAAAAB78/mWVuAlfyBtA/s1600/P1020825-1%25255B5%25255D.jpg]
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This was an emotional chapter… What do you mean, you didn’t notice? It’s Titanic worthy though. With the scheduled shipwreck and all.
Oh, right, I keep forgetting, but for those who have not already, read these:
- Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka? (Spider)
- Tensei Shitara Slime datta ken (Slime)
And pehaps those while you’re at it:
- Maou the Yuusha (or is it “Mow the Yaasha”?)
- Second Chance (NPC)
Ooooh… and… why not this one?
- The Sky at Dawn (…unicorn?)
Just a suggestion though…
That’s it for this time and see you next chapter… with maybe a new character…