Chapter 13 – More than meets the eye
“ Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”
– Wizard, The Wizard of Oz
– ▼▼▼▼▼ –
Six days before breakdown, afternoon… around four in fact. (IGT)
Elric “woke up”. He had logged in early. His appointment with the Elder wasn’t before at least another two hours. However, the Big Brother had planned to tell his proper goodbyes to his newfound NPC family. After all, this latest rash adventure of his might end up taking some times. Even more so if he were to die in the process, thus having to wait four days before reviving, and all the way back in Ashen at that, from where he had barely any idea how to rapidly reach the hidden Kansas. Especially since school started again in less than two real days, and with it its obvious reduction of available gaming time… Except if he skipped class… Which Nicolas did. A lot. But that was beside the point. Nevertheless, given the overly suspicious nature of the old creep’s pseudo-explanations, dying only once somehow appeared to be the best outcome the Reckless Imbecile could hope for.
Why did I agree again? Talk about walking into an Elephant Trap… Oh! But the old man said something about a princess, not a queen… I still feel like a sacrificial pawn though. Or am I White’s knight? Is the Sun white? White is, after all, all the colours combined, which the sun emits. Does that mean that white is actually condensed rainbow… Which is why unicorns are WHITE!!! YESSSS!!!! I AM A GENIUS!! MOUHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaaaa… … Anyway, maybe I should have just Declined? Damn. I’m no good at chess. <1> Probably because I always sucked at thinking ahead, even by myself… So let’s not mention my disastrous past attempts at reading my opponent’s moves. Haha. I really don’t see myself God of Disboard any time soon. I’m more Natsu than Sora anyway, or Shiro for that matter… Except I’ve no problem with transports. Besides, Shiro is a girl! Which I’m not. I think… Although, they do have overactive brains, out-of-the-box thinking, and a general dislike for social interaction… Or do they? Oh. Whatever. Planning ahead is a pain anyway. <2>
Already losing himself in thoughts, the unstrategic knight got up. Or tried to do so? Surprised by an unexpected feeling of restriction, he finally opened his eyes… and noticed the ropes.
Oh, shi-
In panic, he raised his head, just in time to catch glimpse of an incoming twin-tailed diving missile.
*Wheeeeeeeeeez* “AHUMPFFFFFfffff…”
Target acquired, neutralized, and hit, SIR! Complete annihilation confirmed, SIR! None of the Somachians should have survived, SIR! … Aouch.
In the aftermath of a devastating Double-Knee “Imouto” Stomachbreaker, Elric forced himself to push aside his pain and focus on the young aspirant wrestler straddling his mistreated belly.
“Listen, Dorothy. Ropes are a bit too…”
His tentative lecture was cut short when Elric noticed the girl’s lack of smile and wet cheeks. Obviously, she had recently been crying. The sight made his blood boil and flow backwards.
WHO WAS IT?! Who DARED made ma cute Lil’ Sis sad?! Yer dead, moron. Nobody messes with MA Sis! … Wait, still one thing though…
“Dorothyyy, sweetheart,” Elric continued in a soft, prudent tone, “did your mother perhaps teach you things an underage, pure and innocent child, you for example, really shouldn’t know?”
The child in question shook her head in response.
“Then… is this” he pointed the bondage setup with his eyes “your own idea?”
*nod*
Ooo-kaaay. Now, should I be glad Mistress Martha didn’t try to turn her own daughter into a Siberian dominatrix, or scared to death by her increasingly worrisome streak of dangerous random initiatives… I wonder who she got this from?
*ting*
For spreading Its influence, and corrupting the youth, Chaos rewards you.
+2 Luck
You have been abnormally active these days, haven’t You? Are You bored or something? Or is it like the advertisement before a film you really want to watch? *mental sigh* What am I doing? … Little Sis, don’t become a scary woman. Please always remain Solar Onii-chan’s little ray of sunshine.
Clearing his throat, the vaguely appalled doting Elric quickly added:
“Thennn… Could I perhapseventuallymaybe know the possible, perfectly rational reasons behind this?”
Seriously, Dorothy, what the fuck?!
The little girl seemed hesitant to answer, her reddened eyes shying away from her Big Brother. The tied-up young man didn’t say anything however, quietly waiting for her to decide talking on her own. If experience had thought something to the Wandering Knight, it was never to be pushy with a woman, especially when she had you restrained with ropes in a confined space while siting upon you.
The places life takes you sometimes…
Eventually, Dorothy stopped wriggling around – Thank God. It was beginning to get awkward… and wrong for so many reasons. I really don’t want Martha to walk in on us right now. – and she replied by another question:
“Big Brother, are you leaving?”
“…Yes, I am. But probably not for long. I’ll be back. Don’t worry. I’m strong, you know? Haha. Nothing can stop your Big Borther!”
Well… only as long as no crazy woman is involved. Let’s hope this “Immortal” Princess is at least sane. Haha. Who wouldn’t after staying alone for centuries in an inaccessible castle surrounded by a thick wall of Warpstone? <3> God… Please let it not be warpstone… And why is it always women? Ah! No. Master too… and Chess… riiight. But again, that guy is sort of… kinda… uuugh.
*shiver*
Dorothy still looked worried though.
“I’ll be fine,” he reassuringly added. “Adventurers can’t die. I told you, right? Your Onii-chan is immortal! I might be away for some time, but I’ll come back. I swear.”
She seemed to ease up a bit, so Elric innocently asked:
“By the way, who told you?
“The Elder arrived earlier. He said he has to take you somewhere, and that I wouldn’t be able to s-see you for a-a whi-ile.” She swallowed a sob.
“…”
You’re so dead, old man. Why couldn’t you dried piece of shit just wait for me at you damn crumbling pile of logs?! Uh!? Screw me all you want, wannabe Rumpelstiltskin, I’ll enjoy it, and even laugh it off with you. But you don’t make the rare people I really care about cry for NO FUCKING REASON!! Nobody. Never. ESPECIALLY my little cute budding mad scientist… You’re crossing the line, old crook. Careful, one more misstep, and I end you, whatever race of OP archdemon you might be under that wrinkled skin of yours.
Taking a half-serious grim resolution, the Wandering Knight focused back on the saddened girl.
“It’s true, Little Sis. There’s something Big Brother need, and the old bast- man will show me where I can get it.”
… Or so he said, at least. Bastard.
“And Big Brother will be back?”
“I will.”
“…promise?”
“Promise.”
“Pinky Swear?”
Aaaaaaaaaw~ I want to eat you sweetie. Although…
“Of course, Little Sis. But it’ll be a tad difficult, if you don’t untie me first~”
Not that I find this situation that uncomf- *mental cough*
“…”
“…”
“Oh… Tehe~ Sorry~”
“Hahaha~”
“Hihihi~”
“Hahaha~”
“Hihihi~”
“Haha~”
“Hihi~”
“Untie me.”
“R-R-Right a-away!”
– *** –
Truth be told, Elric could have ripped the cords apart with brute strength, Hulk-style, but he was fundamentally against destroying quality material for the sole purpose of showing off. Therefore, it took more than half an hour to free him. After all, childish improvised knots were a real nightmare to loosen.
It could have taken much less time, actually, if the scatterbrain had earlier recalled he knew some knot-untying magic. He wasn’t entirely at fault though. The in-game interface included a list of known spells, of course. But even then, the Knowledgeable’s repertoire was so full of odd miscellaneous enchants that the feature was virtually useless. And remembering by heart hundreds of half-useless incantations was hardly possible, even with a fully functional brain, which wasn’t entirely the case here.
The duo of thoughtless siblings eventually got out of the bedroom, Elric carrying the little Dorothy in his arms. Upon entering the kitchen, the embarrassed knight addressed a polite nod of greetings to Martha, standing there in her ever so out-of-place pink apron. Then he sat at the table, with the girl on his lap, and both were gifted with a large cup of unfriendly-looking purple bubbling beverage, no doubt the latest culinary abomination committed by Jack the Cooker.
Dorothy immediately reached for hers, however Elric swiftly snatched the fuming mug out of her hands, lifted it to his lips, and blew softly on the unidentified substance until it stopped boiling, before giving it back. He wasn’t sure it would do much about the actual toxicity of the content, but at least Dorothy’s insides were at no risk of melting from the sheer heat. He once more perplexedly wondered how the kid survived all those years of being fed untested acids and neurotoxic mixtures. Unaware of her Big Brother concern, Dorothy the Invulnerable was currently cutely holding the container with both hands, while blissfully gulping the liquid radioactive waste.
Trying his best to hide his terror, Elric smiled thankfully at Martha, who just stared back mercilessly. After a quick prayer to the God of Chaos – when in need, better ask a god who had proved to be listening at least from time to time, even a stalker one – , the resigned death-sentenced then emptied his own mug in one go, slammed it down on the table, and quickly grabbed the wooden furniture to stop his fall. As the slimy burning fluid sluggishly crawled down his throat, he could almost hear his oesophagus scream in agony, feel his recently over-abused stomach’s literal attempt to flee, and sense his powerless intestines tremble in fearful anticipation.
*ting*
You have been severely [Poisoned].
You are sustaining poisoning damages over time.
You have been severely [Burned].
Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.
You are sustaining burning damages over time.
You have ingested a corrosive substance.
You are sustaining internal damages over time.
New Title!
For having voluntarily, and in full knowledge of the facts, ingested several highly toxic aliments over a short period of time, you gained the title: [Suicidal Food Tester]
[Immunity] has levelled up.
[Poison (Nature)] (MA) has levelled up.
Chaos thanks you for calling and thinks you’re an idiot.
+1 Luck
“…”
Fuck you Chaos… And, the magical affinity levelled up too?! Wow… So Martha’s skills are so bad that her preparations are considered a form of poisoning magic by the system!? God.
Sweating and shivering, the poisoned knight oriented his blurry vision in the general direction of the fourth person in the room, finally acknowledging the presence of the Elder. To his annoyance, the blond spot appeared to be nodding in praise.
“My my, young one, I see you hold your hot chocolate pretty well.”
So THAT’s what it was supposed to be… Wait. How is that even possible?! No, that’s not the point.
Elric tentatively kept his face stoic, and directed his fierce glare somewhere slightly right of the Elder’s head, before declaring in his most deadpan voice:
“You’re early, old mahargrlugrlh…”
His short sentence, which had yet well started, unfortunately ended up in a fit of gargling gory coughs.
“Kekeke. Are you alright, sonny? You have some blood on the chin. Kekeke. To answer your interrogation, remember you are not alone in this house. I had some important matters to discuss with Martha. Besides, you are the one who is a little earlier than expected.”
Wiping his chin, the FUCK-YOU-ASSHOLE-OF-COURSE-I-AM-NOT-ALRIGHT knight got himself together. Straightaway giving up on detoxification magic, he discreetly mumbled a healing spell to deal directly with the sustained damages, before letting out a prudent:
“Is that so?”
“Indeed it is”, the other curtly replied.
And it’s none of my business, right? You’re starting to show your true colours, “Elder”.
“Shall we get going then, nameless one ?”
“Kekeke. Such haste drives the youth. PATIENCE! Patience you must have, young one, if you want to face the dark forces.”
Nevertheless, the man still stood up, while adding:
“Yes. Kekeke. Patience… You will probably need it.”<4>
Okay. Now, if you’re planning on playing it cryptic all the way to Jedi Master, why not just spill the beans right here, right now, and be done with it?! Uh?! Thanks for holding the of the car open for me with a rotten salesman smile, but I know I’m not costumer, I’m the freaking crash dummy! I’m already aware of dumbly walking into some kind of trap, so why do you insist on… Oh! Dorothy? Riiight. Martha doesn’t seem to react much… well, she never does but… So I guess I’m right to assume Little Sis is the only one who’s out of the loop in this fishy village? …and Dennis too, I guess.
Lowering his gaze towards the young girl on his lap, Elric affectionately patted her head. She looked up, surprised by his sudden action, and seemed about to say something, but he silenced her with a finger on her lips. He then reiterated his promise to come back as soon as possible, picked her up, lowered her on the neighbouring stool, and stood up to follow the Elder out.
– *** –
Stepping outside, Elric remembered he had yet to thank Martha for her hospitality – or at least for providing him a roo… closet, and a be… matrass, not to speak of the horrendous cooking… anyway… – and he spun on place to face the woman. Well, he did. During his short walk to the door, she had silently crept behind his back, and therefore seemingly materialized, nearly on his toes, when he turned around. The knight’s already laboriously beating heart almost definitively gave up from the shock.
“AAAaah. Eeeeh… Miss Martha, thank y-“
Abruptly drawing closer, the woman shut him up with a kiss… on the forehead, a terrifying act that obviously left Elric speechless. The sight of the Ice Goddess suddenly closing up the distance, reaching for his neck, and dragging him down with a murderous glare – well, in truth, she even looked at toasts like they killed her lover or something – , had been one of the scariest experiences in the reckless knight’s life. On the other hand, he was slowly getting used to often re-evaluate his definition of “scary” since he met the woman.
After releasing him from her grasp, the absurdly strong professional axe-wielder continued to wordlessly stare straight in his eyes.
Aaaaand, we just reached a new level of fright, ladies and gentlemen… Oh, she’s talking.
“No need for thanks, Sir Walker. You saved my daughter. It is me who is forever indebted to you, and I am ashamed to have nothing of equal value I could offer you in return. Were they mine to give, I would gladly offer you my allegiance, my blade, and my life. However those are long pledged, and not even death could break the vows I took that day. Instead, I want you to know, as long as you hold a place in your heart for this village long forgotten by people and Time, this house, and everything in it, is forever yours.”
She then gave him a slight but prolonged bow, hand on her chest, like she did on the night Elric finally unlocked Dorothy long sealed heart.
Stunned by her actions, out-of-character-ly long speech, grimly solemn tone, and odd choice of words, the frozen young man couldn’t even nod in reply.
Without waiting for him to recover, Martha straightened her bust, and turned towards the Elder, who had been patiently waiting a few steps away, leaning on his cane, a bittersweet smile floating on his lips, then she once more slightly bowed, and spoke, but with deep deference this time.
“Please, my liege, grant me some more time. I shall have a talk with Dorothy.”
Glancing in puzzlement at the old man, Elric shivered at the cold light he saw flickering in his golden eyes, before a sudden aura of power and command struck the unprepared knight, compelling him to lower his head, and kneel in the face of unfathomable strength. It didn’t last long though, no more than a few fleeting seconds, barely enough for the wrinkled lord to reply his vassal’s plea with a sharp affirmative nod, then the pressure vanished, releasing the flabbergast young man.
Reacting like an actor in a well-rehearsed play, with precise gestures forged by long habit, a seemingly unfazed Martha addressed the oppressive ancient a short curt military salute, before turning heels and stepping back inside.
Looking wide-eyed at the two villagers he had rubbed shoulders with for two weeks, the Wandering Knight felt cold sweat flow down his spine, which hadn’t anything to do with his recent poisoning.
Who are these people, really?
As the door closed, right before the wooden panel had completely shut, Elric still perceived a whisper coming from inside.
“Goodbye, Sir Walker, and pardon, for everything.”
– ***** –
<1> I apologize for this obscure technical reference here… Basically, the Elephant Trap is a common variation of the Queen’s Gambit Declined. I think I remember it normally starts with White offering a sacrificial pawn, which is then declined by Black, who in turn sets up a trap that, if successful, ends up costing both the players their queen and a bishop, but also enables Black to take one of his opponent’s knight while exposing the white king… I think… Please do not quote me on that. I’m no good at chess. This is just some random knowledge I heard, and I found the joke funny…
<2> Cf. No Game No Life. Excellent anime. Waiting for season 2. Love the opening:
Spoiler :
If the video doesn’t work, click here.
(But you should at least have heard of it, given that all this website revolves around, aside from reincarnation, is world deportation and games.)
Oh… and Natsu is from Fairy Tail, obviously.
<3> Warhammer anyone? Well, for those who don’t know, the warpstone is basically solidified Chaos. It’s usually depicted as green, but, being a chaotic element, the colour really doesn’t matter. Wouldn’t it be fun if the Emerald City of Oz was in fact entirely made of the stuff? That would explain sooo much.
<4> Maybe the Elder is planning to force Elric to read this FF?
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Well… One thing I swear never to do in the future, is to promise something is going to happen in the next chapter before having actually written said next chapter.
Therefore, I promise you, Elric shall arrive in Nowhere next chapter. I mostly cut this one into two after typing the draft, because I thought it already was too long for my tastes, even before my final correction. Final “correction” in which I always end up adding at least 25% more text…
OH! And Tales of the Blood Princess passed the threshold of 1k average views! Keep up the good work!
Spoiler :
Haha… I never watched Evangelion…
Anyway, as usual, I thank you very much for putting up with my criminally slow pace – not that it’s likely to change any time soon… – and I’m out to put the finishing touch to chapter fourteen.
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