Chapter 21 – Nerdy Phone Home
“When dealing with aliens, try to be polite, but firm.
And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet.”
– Automated MNU Instructional Voice, District 9
– ***** –
-Nicolas’ PoV -
*tap* *tak-tap*
*tap* *tak-tap*
*tap* *tak-tap*
*tap* “SIEGEL!!”
A weary exhalation echoed in the oddly-shaped corridor as a resigned young man slowly pivoted on his heels in order to confront the belligerent creature from whom had originated the loud and reverberating interjection, and whose appearance, of grace fair only, revealed itself as that of a young woman past her nineteenth spring, seemingly moulded in the widely acknowledged canonical posture, if slightly stereotypical, characterizing a rightfully angry maiden ready to unleash impending diatribe on her incriminated spiteful interlocutor, tightening her prehensile appendages in two facsimiles of spheres known as “fists” and resting them on both sides of her slim waist, while standing next to a second obviously female human being of similar age, who was herself seemingly sharing her counterpart’s pugnacity as she had reprovingly crossed her upper limbs under her two fleshy mounts to empower the heated disdainful glare she was currently casting at the one and same target. <1>
Unyielding in the face of such openly displayed hostility, the young man eloquently pronounced the common yet laconic allocution befitting such a bothersome predicament:
“What ?!”
Truly inspiring… But let us not lose ourselves in verbose cumbersome declamation any further, and thusly revert back to a more wieldy form of narration.
– *** –
Following the pissed girl’s loud exclamation and Nicolas’ curtly reply, a tensed silence fell over the Fool, the Flat and the Busty, awaiting the first gunshot.
Puripuri-puuu ♫pwah ♪pwah ♩ pwaaaah… <2>
“…”
A Snickers wrapper flew by, living its dream of becoming a tumbleweed in a Hollywoodian production…
“…”
Even Snickers have dreams…
“…”
It was eventually the Flat who fired first:
“Your name’s Nicolas Siegel right?!”
“I’ve been called worse ma’am. What can this ol’ fella da for yah?” answered the Fool, adopting a weird westernish accent.
The girl blinked, taken aback by Ol’ Nic’s unexpected behaviour.
Actually, he wasn’t so crazy that he would act weird with just anybody, but being called out in such a rude and commanding tone didn’t put him in a very cooperative mood.
The Busty then scornfully took over:
“Look, if you want to play dumb and act like a retarded kindergartner, that’s your problem. But know where to stop! Aren’t you too old to bully girls? Have you no shame?!”
Nicolas furrowed his brows.
Bully? What is she…
“Yeah, right,” the other judged necessary to add. “Leave Eva alone!”
His eyes widened in sudden realisation.
“Oh… that…”
“Don’t try to pretend you don’t know!!” Busty’s face was getting red in anger.
“No. No. I plaid guilty.”
“Then stop bothering her!”
“Nope.”
“What?!”
Both the girl were bewildered by his flat rejection.
“Besides, who are you girls to tell me what I can or can’t do?”
“Th-Th-That’s not a problem of who tells you not to do it!!” Busty was now stuttering in rage. “That’s a question of common sense and decency!!!”
That’s some pretty hot temper you got there ma’am.
Not letting his thoughts show, Nicolas tilted his head and frowned again.
“Soooo… you’re the ‘Common Sense and Decency Committee’? The kkksssdddekk? Do I pronounce that right?”
“NOOO!!” she raised her arms, probably taking heaven as witness or something. “I can’t believe you! Can’t you be serious for five seconds?!”
“My last record was four.”
“AAAARH!! GrbahlkillssholebasthardIllcussh…”
She staggered forwards, visibly set on strangling him, but Flatty stopped her angry comrade before the situation got out of hand and cast a furious glare towards Nicolas.
“We’re Eva’s friends!” she stated like it was some kind of definitive argument.
“And she specifically asked you to ask me to leave her alone?”
“Not exactly, but…”
“Then why are you taking unasked initiatives and wasting my time? If she got a problem with me, why doesn’t she come to me herself?”
“She’s to-”
“SHE’S FAR TOO SHY FOR THIS YOU MORON!!! AND IF SHE DIDN’T ASK US, IT’S BECAUSE SHE’S TOO NICE AND SHE DIDN’T WANT TO BE A BOTHER!! IS THAT SO DIFFICULT TO DRIVE INTO THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS?!?”
The big-breasted one apparently had gotten back the ability of [Constructed Speech], even if the [Decibels Control] subskill still seemed a bit off. Thankfully, it was already quite late and most of the students and teachers had left by this hour, so her outburst didn’t attract too much attention.
“Are the two of you complete idiots?”
“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?”
Great, now both broke their volume switch.
Sighing, Nicolas adopted a professorial tone:
“Listen, if she didn’t tell you that I was bothering her, then how did you guess?”
“DUH!? It was obvious that she wasn’t acting like usual! And you’re the only new thing tha-”
“Then how does she act as usual?”
“Well…” they seemed a bit confused by the direction this was taking. “She’s calmer and-”
“Then how did you notice she wasn’t as calm as usual?”
“We have eyes! We can see!”
“Then… *inhale* USE YOUR FREAKING EYES!! …and your brains too, that could help.”
Shy? Too nice? Yeah, and I’m a ukulele virtuoso.
Losing himself back in thoughts without paying any more attention to the stunned girls, Nicolas turned around, grabbed his crutch, and slowly hobbled away.
*tap* *tak-tap* *tap* *tak-tap* *tap*…
– *** –
Eva…
Eva, short for “Evangeline”, also known as “Psycho Nerd” – but that was only Nicolas calling her that –, was surprisingly a student from his own class, as per Daniel’s insight, but with an even lower attendance rate than himself. She still managed to get the top score in every lesson tough.
In fact, “low attendance rate” was still a bit of an euphemism, since she never showed up in class except for exams and tests. She apparently came to school only to use the library, which was well-furnished, Nicolas had to admit, as he had come to notice after all the stal… observing he did.
Every now and then, he also caught glimpse of her eating lunch with other girls, including the earlier pair of self-proclaimed “friends”.
Reading books and eating lunch, that was pretty much all she did.
On the other hand, Nicolas too wasn’t very busy these days.
For three weeks already, which meant three months in-game, Nicolas’ avatar had been stuck inside the cursed [Obsidian Tower], still unable to find a way to free himself aside from going all “Dementor's Kiss” on the next guy to come by. <3>
Which was definitively not a very thrilling perspective.
Actually, he would be perfectly fine with never kissing another man in his whole life.
Not that Nicolas had anything against gay men.
Really.
He sometimes even wondered what he would do if someone of the same sex asked him out, which was unlikely to happen… but still… Despite not being interested, he still considered himself open-minded enough – “abnormally curious” might be more accurate – to give it a thought.
As of now though, from his standpoint, guys going for other guys only meant less competition.
Which didn’t meant he had anything against lesbians either… because… you know… lesbians are ho-
But we digress.
In fact, Nicolas wasn’t that much in a hurry to leave Bluerose, and not only because he was unwilling to give his maiden’s first kiss to a stranger… Although Victoria was technically a widow… Well, that was all a question of perspective.
First of all, testing out the limits of his new body and powers had been fun enough on its own. Even considering the eventuality he’d lose them upon breaking the curse, he wouldn’t have let slip away such a golden opportunity to study gi… vampires.
Plus, the locked doors he had passed in the staircase leading to Victoria’s bedroom were apparently linked to the Princess’ mana-signature, or something similar, meaning he had been able to open them after his transformation. The items he found there were enough to keep his mind occupied for some times, before sorting them out and sending them to Daniel for safe-keeping and selling.
“Take as much from the curse as it takes from you.” He never derogated to his mottos.
Except when he forgot.
Or when two mottos contradicted themselves.
Well, it mostly depended on his mood…
Anyway… the last thing he had discovered was that the cheval glass in the top room was in fact… a flat screen!
The only channel available was “Nowhere Valley CCTV” though, but observing the behaviour of so many monsters in their natural habitat was far from boring. Even more so when studying the dangerous ecosystem from a totally safe location. The goblin lifestyle especially had piqued his interest, along with something else… something that had probably to do with his presence in the tower, but we’ll come back to that.
When all was said and done, despite the fun he was having as “Victoria”, he nevertheless was starting to feel claustrophobic when staying for too long in the tower, so he comparatively spent a lot of time outside the game. He had guessed that, in the unlikely occurrence of someone coming to “rescue” the “Princess” while Nicolas was offline, his lifeless avatar would still perfectly do its job of evil Sleeping Transvestite Beauty without him.
Therefore, he barely dedicated one third of his attention to Untold Tales recently, compared to two thirds before, and had re-allocated the recovered focus power to the matter of the female oddity that three weeks ago had ran away from him, twice, and bloodily cracked his nose in an unprecedented use of Einstein’s work.
On a side note, the last third of his mind was as usual left as sort of a buffer zone, an area where his subconscious dealt with everything he didn’t deem important, and a place in which you really didn’t want to peek without a PhD in psychotherapy or at least a good understanding of the chaos theory. <4>
– *** –
After the first incident in the library, Nicolas had tried in various ways to communicate with the extra-terrestrial entity known as “E.V.A.” – I come in peace! –, but all his attempts had ended up as declinations of the two first encounters, with her running away and him being more or less hurt, both mentally or physically.
The girl had obviously taken up some self-defence lessons.
True, she wasn’t that strong, but neither was Nicolas, his previous experience with martial arts all but forgotten. If you weighted his tall built against her training, given the result was truncated by the fact all he wanted to do was talk, Nicolas hadn’t much of an advantage.
Thinking about it, she probably wasn’t trying to wound him per say.
Probably…
His slightly broken right tibia wasn’t even her fault…
Yasmin really couldn’t control her strength when she got emotional.
But… well… it was true that Eva’s later kick hadn’t accelerated the healing process.
His cracked thumb also was a bit sore…
Okay, that one stun gun burn on his arm still felt itchy, but it was more likely his imagination…
And thank God she ate her lunch with plastic cutlery…
His nose too had never be completely the same after that day…
Nothing worth worrying about, really.
Although the girl definitely had some issues, it was likely that the fits of violence Nicolas had learnt to expect – he was getting quite good at dodging – were more of a reflexive defence mechanism she had put in place, with the goal of rapidly incapacitating whatever was threatening her, and not a manifestation of her desire to cripple him specifically.
He hoped.
His observations pointed in that direction at least, although Nicolas could at best make some wild guesses concerning her aforementioned issues.
It was quite obvious Eva had severe problems dealing with people, especially men. She avoided crowds, always arriving early and leaving late – which had influenced his own timetable too – and he had never seen her look directly at any of the males in Saint-Rose, be it the students or the teachers.
Nevertheless, Nicolas had a feeling he was making some progress lately… if a few seconds of anger flashing in her eyes before the usual panic could be considered “progress”.
Nicolas wasn’t even really sure why he was so dead set on talking to her.
His half-joking hypothesis of being in love had been mercilessly crushed by Daniel when he had consulted the half-Moroccan on the matter. His exact words had been: “You don’t look like someone in love. You look like a creepy scientist who just got his hands on a batch of untested chemicals and a litter of baby rats.”
Nicolas had been mildly offended… until his friend handed him a mirror.
Aside from the obvious reason why any male would want a particular female to acknowledge his existence, the only other possible reason he could think of was that giving up by this point would have felt like he had lost some kind of contest of wills – he still wasn’t completely disregarding the masochistic crush route though. <5>
Because, contrary what her so-called “friends” claimed, Eva was neither shy nor weak-minded. Far from it.
He took as proof the fact that she still showed up every morning despite being obviously terrified whenever their eyes met. On a guess, he’d say her overreactions were probably due to some kind of trauma which caused her to temporarily freak out if certain conditions were met.
The happy and serein – and vaguely creepy – smile she showed whenever she thought she was alone was proof enough that she wasn’t a crazy paranoiac constantly living in fear.
Why she acted withdrawn even with the girls was anyone’s guess though.
He couldn’t really just walk up to a herd of chatting females and insert himself in the conversation to confirm, but he had a feeling the reason was somewhat different than her supposed androphobia.
However, that apparent meek attitude of hers and her cute-ish bookworm looks truly made her a perfect target for stalkers.
Good thing he was always following her to keep those guys away…
…
Well… It wasn’t like he ever followed her to her house… or anywhere else outside the school for that matter. He didn’t even know where she lived! He was interested in the girl herself, not really in her life.
One might argue that to know the first, you needed to be informed about the second, but he had a feeling the situation was really going to turn creepy if he ever pushed his intrusive behaviour that far.
If not “all there”, he was at least aware that the brakes of his curiosity were a tad dysfunctional.
– *** –
Hobbling about in the renovated hospital and cynically making absurd diagnoses in his mind – It’s not lupus! –, Nicolas finally reached the main hall, its misplaced stairs and its brand new radiator.
Tsh. Those girls screw up my timing. I guess she left alread-
“…said you would be home by five!”
Or not.
A somehow familiar voice interrupted his thoughts and he ducked behind the staircase.
As not to disturb her phone call, of course.
I never heard her speak so loudly… Who’s she talking to?
“...xcuse! It’s your fault we lost the second key. … All the way to- … But- …. What do you mean ‘tomorrow’?! And where am I supposed to sleep? At school?! … But I- … Alright. … I get it. … No. … Yes. … Yes. … I’ll ask a friend. … No. Don’t worry, I’ll manage. … Bye. Don’t overwork yourself. … Yes. Bye.”
Well, she seems to have some trouble today. Better not bother her… I don’t want to find out how she’d react if she’s already worked up beforehand. My leg’s half healed too. I guess I’ll jus-
“DAMN!!”
“…”
Well, the least I can say is when she starts talking, she doesn’t do it half-heartedly…
He risked a peek over the guardrail and caught glimpse of the girl nervously biting the tip of her thumb while mumbling to herself.
“Ask to a friend’ I said… before… Right… Like I can just… Why does it have to be today?! We would have gotten the new key tomorrow! … should know that… But … not her fault, I know… Aaaaah… That so pisses me off!!! What am I suppo…”
Well… I guess she’s even more hot-tempered than I thought… Wait… Does that mean she actually tried on purpose to puncture my eye with that fork?! Hahaha… And why do I find this idea funny? There really must be something wrong with me…
“… I guess I could try to phone Laura… Since she lives alone… That should be okay if it’s just for a night… Ah! But she said her boyfriend would be… So no… Dam-”
“Need some help?”
Nicolas Siegler, master of tact and timing.
Eva reflexively turned around at the sound of his voice. Then, as expected, her face drained of all colour upon seeing him, she dropped her phone, and her whole body began to shake as she frantically looked around for an escape way.
Unfortunately, she stood in a corner of the warped hall and Nicolas was currently blocking her path to the front door, the corridor and the staircase.
He hadn’t really positioned himself there on purpose though. He just came close enough to converse naturally while also remaining at the safe distance his hard-earned prudence suggested him, which somehow resulted in the current situation.
Without anywhere to flee – nor any visible mean of knocking him down – Eva retreated further into the corner and turned her back to him, crouching to the ground and holding her shaking shoulder in fear.
O-kay… I should be happy to have finally pinned her down, but now I really feel like a molester assaulting a child… That isn’t a good feeling.
Thinking that anything he could say right now would only worsen her condition, Nicolas took a step back, laboriously sat down on the stair, his crutch lying beside him, and waited.
– *** –
After a couple of long minutes, she finally seemed to calm down, but didn’t budge for the cause, probably aware he was still behind her.
Trying to sound as unthreatening as possible – a complicated task when he didn’t even know what was scaring her so much in the first place – Nicolas spoke again:
“So… Someone at your house lost the spare key and you don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight?”
“…listening?” her muffled voice echoed in the empty hall.
“I just overheard by accident,” he replied, guessing what she had meant.
“Hmpf!”
“…”
Did she just ‘hmpf!’ me?!
“Is it because that person can’t be reached? Or is it somewhere you can’t go personally?”
“…car?”
*sigh* “No I don’t have a car. To far then. Mmmh… Anyway, don’t you have any friends to ask to, like…”
Busty and Flatty, but I can’t say that… I’m sure they have names and all…
“…can’t.”
“Why?”
“I JUST CAN’T OKAY!?” she shouted, still facing the wall.
“Okay. Okay. I get you have your issues.”
She did sound like she had a legitimate reason, whatever it might be.
Taking a sudden decision, Nicolas sighed, got up from the stairs and picked up her dropped phone. Thankfully, the device was undamaged and still on, so he rapidly took out his ID card and scanned it.
ID-reading apps were standards these days, although his own phone didn’t have such a functionality. But that was only because he often lost it and thus always bought the cheapest one he could find.
That done, he put the phone back on the ground and took a few steps back.
“I’m leaving now. I live alone in a flat about fifteen… well let’s say half-an-hour from here since I can’t really walk fast right now. Anyway, it’s close and I have a spare room, so do what you want. If you’re scared I might do something to you, I just put all my personal info on your phone. Feel free to send it to whoever you like with a message saying ‘If I disappear, this is the one who kidnapped me, so please arrest him and torture him until he talks’… something like that... Eeeeeh…”
He nervously rubbed the twin burn scars on his arm, unsure how to end the odd conversation, and opened his mouth again a couple times like a fish out of the water, then shrugged and left, making sure to walk slowly – although, to be true, his current top speed barely surpassed that of a quadriplegic tortoise.
As he had expected, the sound of light steps soon echoed behind him.
Hehehe… “How to tame a library shrew”, by Nicolas Siegler… Eeeeeh… Is it safe to let her know where I live? Oh well, she doesn’t seem like a bad person…
Right outside the school gate, Nicolas took a brief glance behind his back to confirm Eva was following, while making sure not to cross her gaze, then continued to hobble in the direction of his apartment.
Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and he asked over his shoulder:
“I guess you don’t have anything to sleep in or to change into tomorrow?”
“…”
Taking her silence as an affirmation, he grabbed his outdated cheap phone, selected one of the numbers of his pitifully short list of contacts and waited for the communication to get established.
*puru* *puru* *puru* …
I guess that maid outfit... No. Definitely no.
… *puru* *puru* *gatcha*
“Ha… Ha… Ha… Ha-hello?” A panting female voice came out of the speaker.
“Yasmin?”
“Nico? Ha… It’s you? Did you change your phone again? Nnnnnnh! Ha… I didn’t recognise the number.”
“The previous was in my pocket last time we met.”
“Ha… Ha… Oh… Sorry. Ha…”
“Yasmin, could you please stop training at least when you’re on the phone?”
“But… Ha… It’s not like I can’t talk all the same. Ha…”
“Please.”
“Ha… Alright.”
*CLONK*
A loud metallic sound resounded in Nicolas’ hear.
“…”
He didn’t even want to try and guess the weight of the barbell she had probably been lifting.
“So, what is it?” Yasmin asked, the intonation of effort gone from her voice.
“Right. I need some of your casual clothes, and one of your pyjamas too.”
“…”
“Yasmin?”
“Nicolas Siegel… I don’t know how many times I had to remind you this, but everyone isn’t in your head! You have this bad habit of skipping half of the conversation and confusingly getting to the point, assuming the person you’re talking to will know what you’re talking about.”
“Isn’t it better to get to the point?”
“Not when your requests can be misinterpreted.”
“Do you mind me asking for one of your pyjamas?”
“Not really, but I promised your mom to teach you how to behave in society.”
“When did that happen?! Never mind… You see, I’m helping out a classmate who doesn’t have a place to stay tonight, but she hasn’t any decent clothes to wear. And you’re the only girl I can think of who would agree to lend me some.”
“A female classmate?”
“Well, no. He’s actually a transvestite, and I thought he would look great in that skirt you wore last time we went-”
“Okay. I get it. I’ll be at your flat in ten minutes.”
“You’ll be there before me then. For some reason, I’m rather slow these days.”
“…sorry.”
“Yeah. Well, see you soon then.”
“Bye.”
And she hung up.
Half turning around, Nicolas confirmed once again Eva’s presence behind him.
“I’ve found you some clothes from a friend. Hers might be a bit too large, but bear with it okay?”
She flinched when he suddenly called out to her, but faintly nodded while obstinately staring at the pavement.
Nobody could guess this girl would try to fork out a guy’s eye… Wait… Did I just simultaneously invited the two most violent girls I know to come over? Oh boy…
In his turn feeling shivers run down his spine, he recalled a certain Ice Goddess as well as a mad Fire Priestess, and wondered if he was fated to run into dangerous women or if he just was unconsciously looking for them.
I might really be masochist in the end…
– *** –
*ting*
Waiting at a distance, Nicolas observed Eva as she got out of the elevator she had obstinately refused to ride with him. Since he obviously was in no condition to climb the stairs to the fifth floor, they had opted for two trips.
Once confirmed she had gotten out at the right floor, he hobbled towards his flat which was the second to last of the corridor. Each floor had actually four apartments, but Mary and he were the only two living on the fifth.
As expected, Yasmin had arrived before them.
Less swarthy than her brother, she had inherited the lighter complexion of their Belgian mother, but had the same intriguing black eyes and dark curled hair as Daniel. Although hers were longer and tied up in a ponytail.
She obviously had come straight here after his phone call, as per her usual straightforward attitude, despite the fact bringing the clothes over later would have been fine too, and thus wore a pair of trainers, sport leggings and a tight sweaty t-shirt that outlined every single muscle of her athletic body.
In other words, despite being probably no more than one year apart, Eva and Yasmin couldn’t have been more different, yet seemed to share the same violent temperament.
Women truly are fearsome creatures. Victoria could learn from those two. I should take some notes.
Speaking of fearsome women, Yasmin was currently in an animated discussion with the man-eating demon lairing in apartment 53, who was decently clothed for once… well, relatively so.
Seriously, what’s with this gathering of harem anime stereotypes… Mary the voluptuous beauty. Yasmin the sport geek. And Eva the… meganekko-bipolar-dandere-yandere? I still can’t figure her out. If some guy were to see me right now, I bet he’d be green with jealousy, but boy would he be wrong. I just hope I’ll still be alive tomorrow morning. Please at least leave me my teeth so I can eat solid food… My mixer broke last week.
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
It was Mary who actually first noticed Nicolas and Eva, and tilted her head to signal their arrival to the other girl.
Yasmin waved to greet them:
“Hi Nico! I brought the clothes.” She designated a bag in front of his door. “Can I use your shower?”
“Who was it again who not ten minutes ago lectured me on my confusing speech pattern?”
“Hahaha. Don’t be like that. I came here as fast as I could.”
“I sme… see that… Well, of course you can. My flat is your flat. You still got the key right?”
Their short-lived relationship had ended around the time he moved here at the beginning of summer, but since the Daoud Dojo was close, Daniel and her still came over whenever they pleased.
“Yes,” she answered.
“Then make yourself home. Just don’t touch my laptop. It isn’t as cheap as my phone and is more dear to me than my legs.”
“Ha… sorry.”
“Stop apologising. These things happen.”
“Nicooo~, where are your manners? Why don’t you introduce us to your cute little grilfriend over there?”
Mary cut in while openly scrutinizing the quietly waiting Eva.
“Behave Mary. She’s not food. Nor my girlfriend.”
“And here I was thinking little Nico was graduating straight from self-entertainment to threeso-”
“Her name’s Eva. She’s one of my classmates, although she a bit too smart for the teachers, so she generally don’t come to class.”
He half-turned towards said classmate and attempted the complex exercise of looking at her without looking at her, before continuing:
“Eva, those are Yasmin, my childhood friend, and Mary. Beware of this one. She bites.”
“Moooo~ You’re so mean. Besides, I don’t do girls.”
That said, she took as side glance at Eva, marked a small pause, and then burst out laughing:
“HAHAHAHAHAHA… HAhaha… Haha… Aaaaah… Nico. Nico. Nico… You… Hahaha… So your really are that kind of guy… Hahaha…”
Not sure exactly what she was referring too, but with several hypothesis in mind, Nicolas simply raised a perplexed eyebrow.
“Hahaha… Never mind if you don’t get it. Well, it was nice meeting you Eva. And seeing you too Yasmin, come by whenever you want, even if it’s not to see that masochistic scatterbrain. My door is always open for you… or your brother. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have something in the oven.”
“…in the oven, right.” Nicolas sarcastically snorted. “I knew you ate those guys, but not that you actually cooked them.”
“T-t-t-t-t… What are you saying about this pure maiden?”
“You’re as much of a pure maiden as I am the President of Burkina Faso.”
“And you’re such a gentleman as usual.”
“I try.”
“Well, then stop making these two poor girls to stay outside in the cold, and hurry up to prepare them a warm bath and a good meal. And bring some food over too if cook something.”
“I though you already had something in the oven?”
“Oh… but that’s just a side-snack.”
“Right… I’ll bring you the leftovers.”
“Lu~cky!! Byebye~”
Once Mary had disappeared behind her closed door, Nicolas let out a sigh.
“Sorry about that. She likes to tease people, but she’s not a bad person… I think.”
He directed a discreet apoplectic glance towards Eva – discreet, because he knew meeting her eyes to apologise would prove counterproductive – but she was looking away, and her cheeks were indeed red from the cold.
Shrugging, he gestured to attract her attention and signalling her to follow while keeping himself as much as possible out of her line of sight.
I swear if this keep up, I’ll end up turning into a ninja.
“Oh… right. I hope you’re not allergic to panthers.”
– *** –
*sigh*
How did it come to this…
Nicolas put the large knife away – somewhere out of Eva’s reach – and added the sliced leek to his improvised broth. He tasted the result and, satisfied, set up a timer before taking off his apron and leaving the kitchen for the living room. As he crossed the hallway, he gave a wary side glance to the bathroom door.
After learning of Eva’s peculiar androphobia, Yasmin had declared she would spent the night too, robbing Nicolas of his bed and relegating him to the couch.
Both girls were currently having a bath together like grade-schoolers. Peeping didn’t even crossed Nicolas mind though, as it was currently occupied with listing everything in a bathroom that could be used as a lethal weapon.
Without anything to do before it was time to cook the steaks, Nicolas turned on his laptop and the projector, and opened the live feed from NHGame, on of the most prominent gaming news channels. He then dropped on the couch next to McLeon, who hissed against this invasion of his napping spot. Nicolas riposted by menacingly swinging his crutch and the fierce feline retreated to the side of the large seat.
Nicolas had been momentarily worried about the meeting between the unstable bookworm and the humongous tomcat, but that had been for naught. Upon seeing McLeon’s disfigured face, Eva had muttered something like “…cute…”, to which the praised monster had responded with a proud glance at his owner-landlord, an act that could be interpreted either as “See, Siegel! Finally someone who recognizes my greatness!” or “I like this one, human. I shall allow you to keep her.”
Either way, no problem had arisen, which the young man was thankful for.
With another sigh, he reported his attention towards the projection on the wall.
It was a live in-game interview of Prince Orchid, Guild Master of DragonHeart Flower, and Lily Snapdragon, his Second in Command. They were sitting in front of a tastefully decorated tent, surrounded by muffled noises suggesting a large encampment, and drinking tea facing a skilfully beautiful human woman in simple yet elegant clothes.
These guys are everywhere these days, aren’t they?
“…been challenging the [Tiamat Mountain Range] for the past two months?”
The female interviewer was asking about the recent expedition, which was the largest ever organised since the release of the game. Well... DHF was the largest guild of UT.
Brushing aside a flyaway lock of his undulated blond hair, Prince flashed a shining smile at the “camera”.
On first look, this guy appeared to be some kind of fancily-dressed human swordsman, proud representative of the Simple-Minded Arrogant Ikemen tribe, but Nicolas knew, from his short battle against him as Elric, that the medieval dandy wasn’t someone to underestimate.
Although his class is… “pfffft-Hahahaha… Ah!” Focus, this might be interesting.
“…monsters have been unexpectedly tough. So we decided to first map the area around the mountains to ascertain that some hidden passageway didn’t exist. Not that the core members of our guild wouldn’t be able to cross the peaks…”
Show-off. If that was that easy, I wouldn’t have needed to crawl through antique temple sewers.
“…but we also have to consider the soldiers accompanying us.”
“Indeed,” the interviewer followed up. “I heard the Holy Land of Altor lend you quite a consequent force for this expedition. Could you enlighten us as to why one of the Three Superpowers would do such a thing?”
Superpowers… Superpowers… They’re still quite small if you consider the whole continent.
“Well, that’s because the Head Pries- ow.”
Prince’s face briefly distorted in pain, but he quickly regained control over his expression and cast a fleeting fearful glance at the silent elven beauty by his side. Playfully toying with her long jet-black hair, Lily returned him a warm smile oozing with gentleness.
“Forgive me,” Prince then continued as if nothing had happened, “but that information is confidential. I am truly sorry.”
And he winked his clear blue eye at the human woman, who blushed like a teenage girl, while a murderous light flickered in Lily’s.
“Ah… Eeeh… No… I understand, of course.” The interviewer attempted to recover her professionalism. “Then… Do you have anything to say to Daniel-san, Guild Master of Horizon, who claimed he would beat you in crossing the Range?”
“Humpf. If Horizon wants to challenge us, I say let them come. I’ll admit their strength isn’t bad, but only a handful of their members are really worth being concerned about.”
“Are you referring to the Four Beasts of Horizon, Daniel-san KKid, Thunderwolf Storm, Winnie HonneyBlood and Strawberry Jam? Do you fear the power of those four could pose a threat to DragonHeart Flower’s supremacy in this race to the secrets of Tiamat? After all, the Frontier is Horizon’s home turf.”
Prince was making a complicated face, visibly annoyed of hearing the ability of his guild repeatedly questioned.
Apparently sensible to her Guild Master’s irritation, Lily laid an appeasing hand on his shoulder, a gesture that oddly enough made him flinch.
“If I were Daniel-san,” the elven beauty began in a melodious and gentle voice, “I would be more concerned about the [Phoenix Castle] right now.”
“What do you mean?” The interviewer made a puzzled face.
“You are of course aware that one of Horizon’s main achievements was the conquest of the [Phoenix Castle], which to this day is still the largest player-owned structure in the known Pandore?”
“Yes, of course. But what has this to do with the [Tiamat Mountain Range]?”
“Hahahaha...” Lily let out a charming laugh. “Nothing actually. But I might have heard some rumours of several guilds forming an alliance to take over Horizon’s prided headquarters.”
“Is that true?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t know. Those are just passing rumours after all. But it would be truly regrettable if Daniel-san were to lose his castle while away fighting over some petty territorial rivalry, don’t you think so? I personally have a deep respect for the Four Beasts, and I would find devastating for such misfortune to befall them. You agree, don’t you, my Prince?”
“Ah… Yes… Haha. Truly devastating.”
“As always, Lily-sama shows such consideration even towards her rivals. You truly live up to your title of ‘Gentle Blossom’.”
“Oh my. Thank you. But I don’t deserve such a flattering nickname. I only say what I believe is right.”
“And your humbleness should be an example to everyone.”
Lily simply nicely smiled back, while Prince looked increasingly uncomfortable, but still somehow managed to keep his ikemen attitude to a convincing extent. It was probably like a second nature to him.
“Well, thank you very much, Prince Orchid and Lily Snapdragon of DragonHeart Flower, for giving us some of your time.” She then turned back to the audience. “You’re watching NHGame and next we’ll meet up with Ludovic in Start, capital of Firstland, where the preparations for an important festival are ongoing. Isn’t that right Ludovic?”
The image cut to a slender man with brown hair standing before a fairy-tale-ish palace of azure and purple.
“Yes, Mira. Important indeed since it will be the Coming of Age Ceremony for Princess Purity, youngest of the royal family. On this occ-”
Nicolas closed NHGame’s website, uninterested by the Princess’ little birthday party, and switched to Untold Tales’ official forums.
One thread in particular had been holding his attention for the past two weeks.
“Castle in the Forest of Death”, Hidden Quest of the Suspicious Old Mage (Ghost?)
(Pg. 35 of 37)
WKnight Brawn
I got killed in five seconds… -_-‘
Leonwald Gard
Mee too. I was hunting groots in the Forest of Shtouf, and he just appeared behind me, told me something about being worthy, I agree to a quest to save some princess and “POOF!!” I am in a forest with giant trees and overkill monsters everywhere!!!!!! I didn’t have time to understand what was going on, and I got eaten by a ghost wolf or something. Didn’t see any castle though.
Star Lord
That was a [Spectral Wolf] dude. There like the weakest monster in that place. I saw the castle, but got trampled by a thing spiting bubbles.
Gram ArNah’zi
*They’re
Valrous Champion
I got in the Castle, but there were only undead in there. I don’t know who said anything about goblins, but I saw none.
FlameSword Dude
That’s because the goblins hide and don’t attack. O_o’
Charming Prince
Yeah. I know. I found it weird too. I never saw monsters act like this. But they had trolls, so I just avoided them.
Wonder Paladin
I passed the goblins, and fought skeletons, zombies, a putrid salamander in the sewers and two dullahans guarding a door. I guess that was the boss room, but the headless bastards were too strong. I couldn’t even defend myself and got one-shoted. Flattened in fact.
Pale Aladdin
Dullahans? Never heard of anybody who got past the salamander. Were they really that strong?
Wonder Paladin
Strong? I didn’t even understood what they did. I heard something about cookies and then my head had a very close and short relationship with the floor.
FlameSword Dude
So, you did not saw Rapunzel either?
Leowald Gard
The princess’ name is “Rapunzel”?
FlameSword Dude
No idea. But a beauty in a tower?
Elric’s Follower259
MAAAAASTEEEER?!?!?! WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUU?????
Garin Waltz
I don’t know what is her name either, but I sure saw her. But she doesn’t seem to show herself anymore.
Smart Guy
Maybe she got bored because you guys keep failing?
WKnight Brawn
YOU TRY IT!! A quest god knows where, fighting monsters way past level 150! And nobody knows how to get the quest because that old dude keeps popping left and right with no pattern.
Sir Dance-A-Lot
Actually that’s just outside the Castle. The zombies inside aren’t that strong, except a few. Just… there’s a lot of them.
Star Lord
‘WKnight Brawn’ wrote:
nobody knows how to get the quest because that old dude keeps popping left and right with no pattern.
That’s not exactly true. Rereading the older posts, it seems the only one to get the quest have to be 1. Male 2. not chaotic/evil/etc. 3. Some kind of knight, paladin, swordsman. And nobody got the quest twice, so it’s probably a onetime thing.
Garin Watlz
Yeah… a onetime thing where you’re randomly teleported in a surekill zone.
Smart Guy
Maybe it’s just a trap? Like a troll quest or something?
Admiral Ackbar
It’s a trap!!
.
Nicolas sighed and turned off his computer, curling up in the couch and distractedly scratching the chin of a purring McLeon.
What is that old man doing…
Since a little after he had noticed the properties of the mirror in Victoria’s bedroom, he had also spotted those knights popping here and there in Nowhere. Never more than one at a time. They rarely lasted long, but some actually made it to Bluerose, only to get mercilessly cut down by Headison or splattered by Tazius if they managed to go that far.
Headison apparently was still pretty pissed about Elric’s little cookie stunt, and hadn’t even attempted to talk to anyone yet.
All of those guys weren’t posting on the forums though, since a couple had actually managed to defeat the [Dullahan] pair. However, soloing a dragon after fighting those two was hardly possible, even if you didn’t charge straight at Kalameet like Elric.
At first, Nicolas had wondered where these people came from, but a little snooping around on the website and he had found this page. He was almost one hundred percents sure the “Suspicious Old Mage” in question was the Elder of Kansas, but that certitude actually raised more questions than it answered.
If the old crook was capable of such a thing as teleportation, why did he wait all those years for someone to show up?
How could he do such a thing in the first place? Instant teleportation without even a magical circle wasn’t something that should even be possible.
Why did he only choose people that corresponded more or less to Seras’ husband? If his goal was something along the lines of breaking the curse and freeing her spirit, wouldn’t various people with various abilities be more suitable?
If the Elder was wandering the Continent, what was going on in Kansas? Nicolas was slightly worried.
Seeing how the old mage definitely was majorly powerful, why couldn’t he break the curse by himself?
Was he even trying to break the curse, or just randomly picking up people and sending them to their death?
How did he know when one of his “chosen ones” was dead so that he could send the next challenger?
All those unanswered questions…
*trilililililililling*
…would have to wait, since it was time to go back to the kitchen.
– *** –
Nicolas took the four steaks he had defrosted in advance, and threw them with some butter in a frying pan, including Mary in his preparations. The expiration date of the meat was close anyway, so better giving one to his profiteer of a neighbour than to throw it away. Which didn’t mean he would do something too extravagant either.
The last thing he needed was to mess up while getting creative and end up with an Eva dying from anaphylaxis.
Thus steaks were perfect. He never heard of someone allergic to steaks... and most religions didn’t prohibit the ingestion of beef.
Well, he really was ready for anything when it came to his bipolar classmate, but he hoped she at least wasn’t a picky eater.
After once more checking the temperature of the broth, he was about to turn down the hotplates supporting the frying pan when a muffled cry suddenly came out of the bathroom.
What now…
Wiping his hands on his apron, Nicolas peeked in the hallway.
“Is everything alr-”
*slam*
He was interrupted by the door in front of him brutally swinging open, missing his cursed nose by a hair breadth, and Yasmin rushed out. Her face was red from the hot water of the bath, she was still fastening the top button of her shirt and her hair was a mess.
Seeing Nicolas’ stunned face before her, she opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again:
“…ah! S-s-sorry. I just remembered that thing dad asked me to do before tonight and I totally forgot about… so… eeeh…”
“So you’re not staying?”
“N-no. That’s right. Sorry. You even cooked.”
“It’s only steak, don’t sweat it. I’m sure Mary could use a second serving anyway.”
“…right. Sorry.”
“Stop apologising.”
“Sor… Haha… well… Bye then.”
“Bye. Say hi to Daniel for me.”
“Bye.”
She started walking towards the door, then Nicolas suddenly remembered something.
“Ah! Right… That Lily was on NHGame earlier. She said that people wanted to go after your [Phoenix Caslte].”
“What?!” she shouted as she spun to face him.
“It’s ‘just a rumour’, she said. But you know how she his.”
“That two-faced bitch!”
“I can’t agree more, but we got nothing tangible right now. You should just be careful for some times. Maybe drop the [Tiamat Mountain Range] thing.”
“But what about your… situation? Whatever that might be…” Her voice sounded somewhat reproachful.
“I’ll manage. Things have evolved since I last talked to Daniel about it.”
“If you say so… Well, I’m off then.”
“Don’t outrun too many cars.”
She waved over her shoulder and left.
Weird… she isn’t the type who forgot things usually…
Shrugging it off, he turned towards the bathroom, and knocked.
“Eva. Is everything alright?”
“…”
“Eva?”
“… Yes. I’m fine.”
“Good. Dinner’s almost ready. I guess you’d prefer to eat alone in the guest room?”
“Please.”
“No problem. I’ll leave your plate in there. Just put it in front of the door when you’re finished.”
“…thanks.”
“No need to thank me, I’m only doing it because I want to.”
“... Did… Yasmin left?”
“Yes… She said she forgot something she had to do at home.”
“I see… sorry.”
“For what?”
“For only causing you trouble.”
“I told you, that’s not a problem. I think I like getting into trouble, especially with girls apparently.”
“…sorry.”
“Oh! Not you too!? Just stop apologising already. It makes me feel bad.”
“But I broke your nose.”
“It was only a crack.”
“And your leg.”
“It was already broken.”
“And your thumb.”
“The door did.”
“And attacked you with a stun gun.”
“That was self-defence.”
“And a fork.”
“Nobody got hurt.”
“And-”
“Look, even if you continue listing everything you did to me for the whole day, you’ll never come close to what I’ve suffered for years at Yasmin’s hands, so just stop.”
“…”
“Good… Haha. If I’d know all I needed to talk to you normally was a bathroom door, I would have taken one to school earlier.”
“Please don’t do that.”
“That was a joke.”
“…”
“…”
“…oh.”
Not much of a sense of humour, has she?
“So it’s really a problem with talking to people face to face?”
“…”
*sigh* “I get it. I won’t pry if you don’t want to talk.”
For now. I’m not done with you deary.
“…thanks.”
“Right. I’ll ju-”
A faint unpleasant smell suddenly caught his attention.
“FUCK!!”
And he rushed back to the kitchen.
– *** –
The next morning was Saturday, and Nicolas woke up around half past six. He had no alarm clock in his bedroom, but his biological one was merciless. He always woke up early when he had gotten into bed at a decent hour, regardless if he had to go to school or not.
Yawning and scratching his butt, he got into the bathroom, brushed his teeth, emptied his bladder and then went to open the door to McLeon, who rushed straight to the kitchen as usual.
Nicolas slowly hobbled behind the hungry tomcat, but stopped when he noticed a small piece of paper on the table, covered in a neat handwriting that obviously wasn’t his own.
“What? Who...”
Then realisation struck him.
“Right! Eva!”
He grabbed the paper, looked at it, swore, switched the lights on, and looked again.
I took your friend’s clothes with me. I will return them washed on Monday. They will be in a red bag on the usual table in the Library.
Sorry again for the trouble.
Eva.
Nicolas grinned.
What a weird girl…
– *** –
He was still grinning an hour later as he sat down on his W-Chair.
… I wonder if I she plays?
“Hahahaha… I’d so get killed… But that might be fun… Hahaha…*sigh* Hahaaa... Untold Tales. Log In.”
– ▼▼▼▼▼ –
<1> Yes, this is only one sentence. Don’t ask why. I wouldn’t know what to answer.
<2> Ah… classics…
Spoiler :
<3> For those who might not be well informed about J.K. Rowling’s work – It happens. –, I’ll just say dementors aren’t very good kissers, since they tend to suck your soul out and all…
<4> The chaos theory is a field in mathematics that studies the behaviour of dynamical systems that are highly sensitive to initial conditions. In other word, that’s the cool name of the “Butterfly Effect”.
<5> Masochism… because a broken rib hurt less than a broken heart… Except of the rib punctures said metaphorically used organ… in which case you die… But, like the saying goes “Nothing ventured…”
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So, there’s a new chapter. The longest as of now, but I stopped really worrying about the word-count and just write what I want to.
Please tell me what you think about it, if you think the characters are good or not, if something bothers you, if I should just drop the story and make McLeon the MC, whatever goes through your mind.
As always, thank you for reading and see you next chapter.
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