Chapter 5:
Out of Nowhere
“Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.”
– Alice in Wonderland
– ***** –
“RU! MIA! FUKOF ENDAI!!”
Waving widely, Victoria shouted at the slowly disappearing figures of the goblins. The little monsters were still riding the perplexing master of the valley as they moved away from the faint multicolour glow radiated by the barrier, and rapidly dissolved in the obscurity of the forest. The dhampir noted with interest that her night vision, while excellent in ambint darkness, didn’t allow her to see that well through the shadows when she herself was standing in a much brighter spot.
Always good to know. I probably could try to work something out with [Echolocation]. Although making noise to detect enemies is also the best way to get found out, so it would only be useful in situations where having both parties lose the element of surprise would still be in our advantage.
Hehehe… “our” advantage… It feels surprisingly good to be part of a group after all, even if said group has only two people in it.
Mmmh… Maybe if I found a frequency that only I can hear? That’s a long shot, especially since I can’t do ultrasounds in “human” form, but one worth trying. HAHAHA!! Who said I was bad at planning? … Right… That was me. Well, I guess that doesn’t exactly qualify as a plan. More like the idea of the draft of a plan.
I suppose the best I can hope right now is some kind of forewarning from the [Predator] trait, whatever that thing does. Aaaaah… I should hurry and retrain [Trap Detection]… and [Running], for good measures. [Falling] never hurt either… pun! *mental cough of hidden shame* And [Stealth], let’s not forget [Stealth]. I doubt I will be able to destroy enemies with the power of [Floral Arrangement]… though I will still try if we ever find a very aggressive bouquet! BEWARE YOU HEATHEN BEGONIAS!!!
Well, in the end, the biggest hurdle remains my shitty Strength and Vitality. Damn. I’m not one to give up so easily, but that department seems pretty hopeless with both stats forcibly reduced. FUCK YOU GAME!! Who’s a [Weak Sheltered Maiden]? How’s that even a racial trait! Shit! I’ll have to focus on Agility and the [Avoidance] skill… Ah. Right. That one was absorbed by the [Fighting Mastery]… which was also reset to beginner one.
*sigh* Well, fuck m-
“Ouch.”
Lost in thoughts, Victoria turned around, only to bump into something hard, black and metallic. She didn’t give much attention to the low red numbers that appeared before her and raised her eyes to meet a pair of disturbingly focused ambers. Her heart skipped a beat, but it took her only a couple seconds to remember that Athena always had that look. it wasn’t especially directed at the dhampir herself.
“What?” questioned Victoria, somehow more harshly that she had intended.
The Shieldbearer raised an interrogative eyebrow.
“Fuck off and die?”
“Oh... Well, that means ‘goodbye’ in goblin.”
“Okay, but ‘Fuck off and die’?”
“Your pronunciation is terrible,” the dhampir said in a pitying tone, dejectedly shaking her head.
“Do you want to get punched?”
“Oh? So you ask now? And here I was under the impression it only came unexpectedly with uncontrolled bursts of anger. Really, Thena dearest, it’s quite sad that we are unable to have simple civilised argumentative discussions. Why always violence?”
“Would you listen to sound argumentation?”
“Nope.”
“Quod erat demonstrandum.”
“Latin now? Wow. Aren’t you quite a stud…ent?”
“Seeing your smug smile… That was supposed to be a joke?”
“Sadly… But I think I should give up. Good humour is wasted on a cave woman such as yourself.”
“Do you really want to get punched?”
“What if I said ‘yes’?”
“Then I would be worried and vaguely creeped out.”
“A very honest answer, as expected… Then, yes, please hurt me.”
“I had a hunch… but you really are that kind of person after all?”
“Masochist? I guess I am… Though I said ‘yes’ mostly because I wanted to see the ‘worried and vaguely creeped out’ side of you.”
“So you’re a sadist too?”
“Well… my sweet yet aggressive copper-headed giantess,” she replied while patting the woman’s breastplate, “let’s just say that your very existence allows me daily discoveries of new facets of colourful myself. Although I’m not sure that’s a good thing.”
“… You say this like I’m at fault here.”
“You’re violent and screwed-up. Abyssus abyssum invocAOUCH!”
“Satisfied?”
“Owowow… You messed up my ending. Truly no respect for ancient languages.”
Athena opted to ignore the annoying pale princess.
Spinning around with the efficient grace of a giant tiger, the tall woman stepped upon the narrow path that protruded out of the green rainbow-coated cliffs of Nowhere. This was the route Elric had neglected when he first came here with the Elder, preferring to jump down for some nebulous reasons. The path was steep and full of unstable rocks, but it beat climbing by about every unit of measurement Victoria could think of.
The Progenitor gave her painful forehead a rub, idem for her still faintly sore butt – her hand lingering a bit on that one –, then fell into step behind her Soulbound without uttering another word, displaying all the natural majestic elegance of a wounded sulky kitten.
After a couple minutes though, the Shieldbearer broke the silence herself without slowing down nor looking back:
“you think they’ll be safe?”
“Ha… Who?”
“The goblins.”
“I have no fucking clue,” Victoria shrugged. “The big guy could have … eaten them by noon tomorrow for all I car… know. We could have taken them with us, but it’s a ... a bit of an undead festival out there, they wouldn’t have lasted a day. Ha… Ha… And leaving them in Kansas wasn’t an option either.”
“No, of course. You can’t expect humans to accept living with monsters.”
“That’s… not it. Ha… I mean, I suspect every villager is actually insanely strong… Well, except Dorothy… Ha…” the princess’ breathing was becoming rougher with every word she spoke.
“Your NPC little sister?”
“Yeh… Yes, her…. Ha… But, my point is, I don’t think they would care about a few goblins… Ha-ha… settling in the clearing. Ha… But ‘a few’ is the keyword here. Kansas is sort of an… Ha… Ha… isolated oasis in a desert of doom, and the reproduction rate of … of goblins isn’t suited for an enclosed environment devoid of natural predators. Haaaaa… The balance of the biotope would collapse due to …Ahn… overexploitation of the natural resources, leading to starvation a-aaand an interspecies conflict over… *wheeze* over food which would result ineluctably in the total ahnhhh… anihilation of the goblin forces, which would in the end utterly defy the whole… *wheeze* … Haaa-haa… the whole purpose of bringing them there in the first place. Ahhhh…”
“Even though this feels like a very specific scenario… I think I get your point.”
“Yeahhhh… pffff… Leaving them with… *inhale*… Mistake is a… a risk, but it’s also their best… shot. Why… *cough* Why do you care, by the way?”
Because I sure don’t. I mean, they’re funny and make good guinea pigs, but it’s not like they can’t be easily replaced. Dammit this path is steep. Fuck you, my sexy weakling body.
“They…” hesitated Athena. “I guess they grew on me. They were kind of cute.”
Victoria blinked slowly.
She did that a lot lately, blinking in stupor, and her eyelids were beginning to feel sorer than her ass. She distractedly wondered if that was in any way an application of the word “shitface”, but banished the nonsensical thought as soon as it formed.
“…I think we need to work on your definition of ‘cute’, Thena, or I might take offense if you ever call me that.”
Then again, if I’m correct, she also thought that McLeon was cute… Oh shit. She might really be Eva. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
“I would never call you cute,” Athena retorted in a perplexed voice, still without looking back.
“My, thank you…” – the irony was strong in this one.
Though Athena didn’t respond, barely audible mumbles reached Victoria’s enhanced vampire ears over the preceding woman’s broad shoulders:
“I mean, ‘cute’ means ‘adorable’ right? You wouldn’t say that about someone who’s so arousing and defenceless that you’d want to shove them down into a bush and rip their clothes off, right? Not that there would be much to rip off anyway. Seriously she should be a little more caref-”
*sbam*
“Vicky?!”
At the sound, Athena accomplished an inhumanly fast one-eighty on the narrow path, disregarding the dangerous precipice beside her. Had Victoria witnessed the feat, she would have appreciatively whistled at her companion’s uncharacteristic recklessness. However, the princess was apparently far too engrossed with her make out session with the hard ground to notice anything else right now.
…what?
– *** –
Fifteen minutes later…
“…and that’s why we can conclude with absolute objectiveness that princesses do, in fact, not poop.”
“I still can’t understand how you reached that conclusion. No player does.”
“Obviously! I mean, even if you put aside the sheer impracticality of needing to use the restroom in the middle of a dungeon, the act of excretion takes up a surprising amount of time. Did you know the average occidental human being spends almost a sixth of his life in the toilet.”
“…no. I did not. And I have a feeling I could have easily survived a few more years without that specific piece of information.”
“Sarcasm Thena? Now that so doesn’t suit you. I’m the snarky one in our little comedic duo.”
The Shieldbearer grumbled something about not remembering joining an entertainment group, but Victoria thoroughly ignored her and continued in a thoughtful voice:
“On the other hand, don’t you think it is strange that players don’t poop, but still can puke? This selective replica of the digestive system really is weird. It’s like the developers weighted the gross against the inconvenient and decided on a compromise that could be disgusting and realist without hindering the gaming experience.”
“That’s probably not far from the tru-… Wait. Are we really having this conversation?”
“Well, I needed something to get my mind off the current situation, and that’s the first thing that I thought of.”
“…I see.”
The situation the dhampir princess was referring to was her being piggybacked by Athena. After her brutal tripping, caused half from exhaustion and half from shock, Victoria hadn’t been able to walk any further. The narrow ledge they were progressing on didn’t really suit the princess-carry, so they had been forced to resort to the less graceful piggyback.
From a practical standpoint, this was all well and good, but from Victoria’s, there was one little problem.
“Thena, your hands.”
“What about them?”
“You’re squeezing again.”
“Oh. My apologies.”
Despite what sounded like sincere remorse, Victoria didn’t feel the palms grasping her buttocks relax in any way.
…sexual offender. That woman! Tricking the innocent me into thinking she was such a straightforward and honest person when she hid such a deviant personality! How DARE she?! … Wait… that reminds me… didn’t Yasmin leave in a hurry with a dubious excuse the day she bathed with Eva at home? … YOU!! How dare you put your hands on my childhood friends in my bathroom?! MY bathroom!! At least let me watch. Ha! No, that’s not the problem here… is it?
“Besides, shouldn’t you hold my thighs instead?”
“Your broken arm is in the way. You are leaning too much backwards, so I need a better hold.”
“You’ve got an answer to everything, don’t you?”
“Only when I’m right.”
“And you say that with such a straight face despite blushing all the time until now… Was it all an act? No… I bet you’re the type that gets eager only when they think they’re in a position of power. You just like being on top, don’t you? Tell me I’m wrong, you violent pervert!”
“Pervert? Says the girl who wears transparent panties.”
“Aaargh… touché! My inexistent modesty hurts…”
“Plus, it’s not even your real body.”
Oh, you have noooo idea, young padawan.
“…well. That’s true, I guess.”
Shrugging it off, Victoria stopped protesting and slumped against her Soulbond’s armoured back.
“…that’s it?” Athena asked, vaguely suspicious.
“Hmmm?”
“I don’t think that was such a decisive argument. Even I can think of a dozen counters. And I know you’re more resourceful than me on that point.”
“I think you’re plenty smart yourself.”
“That isn’t about smarts. Having a good IQ and logical mind doesn’t automatically makes you great at argumentation.”
“Oh? It’s rare to hear you admit your own worth.”
“It’s something Mom often says. I’m nothing that great. And stop trying to change the subject.”
“I’m not particularly trying… You’re a weird one, Thena. Why would you be upset at me for admitting you are right.”
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
“Because it’s never about me convincing you, and more about you reaching a conclusion on your own for some reasons I don’t understand.”
“I was right… You do crave being in control.”
Athena remained silent, not confirming anything, but not denying it either. Victoria sighed at the stubborn woman.
“Alalalalah… What am I going to with you?”
Unbeknownst to the Shieldbearer, that statement was also directed at her real self. Now that the idea had taken root in the princess’ mind, it was rapidly growing and Victoria subconsciously analysed, compared and linked everything the tall muscular woman did to the knowledge she had gathered after weeks of trying to approach the deceptively shy bookworm. Be it wishful thinking or not, the possibility “Athena equals Eva” was gaining credibility by the minute.
Victoria sighed again, seeing only troubles for herself in the future.
“And, to answer your question… I suppose my will to protest only went that far.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m… exploring my own feelings right now.”
No, really, I have no idea how I should feel about having my ass shamelessly groped by someone stronger and taller than me. It’s not like this was very high on my list of potential awkward situations I may one day encounter… at least not compared to things like “being kissed by a man” or “being raped by my drunk succubus neighbour”.
“So you’re actually enjoying this.”
“That didn’t sound like a question. How the hell did you reached that conclusion?”
“But you do,” Ahtena repeated in a matter-of-fact tone.
“…tsh. I thought I was the one with mind control here.”
“It’s okay. Acknowledging your own desires is the fastest way to make peace with yourself. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Haha. Your psychiatrist told you that?” Victoria couldn’t contain a mocking retort.
She didn’t want to be so acid with the tall woman, but her own state of emotional confusion made the meanest part of her selfish personality much closer to the surface.
“…”
Athena fell silent again, and Victoria’s eyes widened slightly in realisation.
“…seriously? Oh, sorry.”
“No, don’t be. It’s my fault. You’re right.” The dhampir couldn’t see her ride’s face, but she didn’t need to in order to hear how distraught her companion sounded. “I’m just projecting my own issues on the people around me and I-”
Victoria’s valid hand shot from Athena’s back and covered her mouth, then violently jerked the Soulbound’s head so that her eyes were locked with those of the Progenitor. And the Progenitor was pissed.
“Oh! Come on! Fuck, Thena. Don’t start bullshitting again. You’re just dumbly repeating some psycho-crap everybody knows but no one cares about. You’re smarter than this.”
Athena tried to protest but Victoria stole the opportunity from her.
“Besides, you know what? Yes! Yes, I enjoy you grasping my butt while walking next to a precipice that ever so slightly tickles my fear of heights, on top of being so weak that I have no hope of resisting whatever you’d suddenly want to do to me. Yes! That probably makes me a twisted masochist. And, YES!! Those feelings freak me out for reasons I don’t even want to think about! But hell if I’m going to blame you for pointing out that I’m even more fucked-up than I thought.
Seriously, you think you’re bad? You think you have issues? Have you met me? My focus is screwed, my priorities all over the place, and nothing turn me on more than mind break, enslaving and body modification Japanese porn!
So, yes, I have issues. You have issues. And everybody who don’t can go fuck himself for being fucking boring!! Maybe you feel bad about it? Maybe you want to be normal? But, hey! Cheer up! That won’t happen anytime soon! Because whatever that psychiatrist of yours told you to make you feel better, that’s just a truckload of shit! You can’t help being a violent pervert more than I can help being a selfish idiot who thinks the worth of everything in this world is only proportional to the fun it can bring me.
You’re broken and there’s no fixing it. Get over it. And why would you want to get fixed? To go back to the “normal” system that broke you in the first place? Nah, that’s just too freaking boring. And sad. Don’t forget sad. Life got you technicolour and you’d want to go back to black and white? HAHAHA!! What a joke!
And what does “normal” mean anyway? The “norm” is just a standard that describes the majority. And the majority? That’s nothing more than the largest minority. If you counted all the groups that don’t belong to that so called “normal majority”, I’m pretty sure the latter would end up fucking overwhelmed. That also why democracy doesn’t work all that well, but let’s leave politics aside for now.
But hey, I can understand there are things you don’t like about being a freak. As much as being normal sucks, you can’t live without interacting with other people, because being lonely is even more boring than being normal. So it’s no good if your freakiness cripples you socially. But what can you do? I mean, I told you, fixing is no regeneration. It’s just a way to patch up things. To take an object that isn’t fit for its prior purpose and force it to function again in a weakened state. A repaired item is much more likely to break again.
So, don’t try to fix, but twist more. Take the cracks that mutilates you and enlarge them, direct them a direction you choose, overlap the layers of freak, shape your madness, carve your own self! Being broken doesn’t make you defective! Being broken is an art form!!
And maybe what I’m saying doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’m wrong. Actually, I’m sure I’m wrong. But, you know what? I don’t fucking care, because I’m happy like this, and there’s no reason you should not. Don’t be afraid, don’t be ashamed, don’t care! Don’t try too hard to fit a mould that doesn’t fit you anymore, because trying to push the red square in the hole of the blue triangle will only end up in breaking your toy! Even kids know this! And if you don’t like being a red square, fuck the blue triangle, and become a green hexagon!!”
Victoria’s breath was rough, she was panting and her eyes were sparkling with exalted insanity. She had lost control of her speech midway and even herself would have some difficulties in explaining whatever her point had been in the first place.
However, right now, the crazy girl had the happiest smile Athena had ever seen on someone past the mental age of five. It was a smile that said everything was fun and everything that wasn’t was so unimportant that it could as well not be there. It was a childish smile with a hint of delusional madness, one that didn’t know about the sad things of the world, or more accurately denied them the right to exist.
It was irrational, illogic and incorrect, but, at this moment, the self-loathing Shieldbearer wanted nothing more than to believe in this smile that promised that everything would be alright and that the world could go fuck itself if it disagreed.
“…”
“Hahahahaha!! What’s with the face, Thena? Come on, girl, less thinking and more walking. You have limited gaming time, and we still need to find a way to go through the impenetrable barrier of rainbows!”
That snapped Athena back out of her irrational daze.
“…what?”
Victoria blinked, took a short breath, and beads of sweat began flowing down her neck.
“Oh… right. The barrier… I almost forgot ‘bout that… Now that I think about it. I think I lost key. It must have been somewhere in my bedroom in [Bluerose Castle]. Haha… TeheeeeeeEEEEEEEEEHHHH!!”
In the middle of her act of cute cluelessness, the scatter-brained dhampir suddenly found herself dangling upside-down over an abyss of a couple hundred metres, her ankle caught in an inescapable grip. The bottom of her dress passed over her head and she was somehow overcome by a feeling of draughty nostalgia.
“Vicky…” the threat was left hanging in the air, much like its target.
“Kyaaaaahahaha! Good to have you back, buddy! That’s how I love my Thena! Ruthless and shame-free! Hahaha…”
The grip on her ankle relaxed ever so slightly.
“…hahAAAAHH!!! Okay! Okay! I’ll figure something out, don’t worry. Just calm down!! Hahahaha… HEEEEELP!! Hahahahaha…”
How fuck. That’s bad. I’m really enjoying this.
– *** –
A few minutes later, a nauseous but confusingly satisfied princess was standing on a rock platform, three hundred metres above ground, and staring intently at a thin veil of shimmering rainbow lights. Beyond the veil, a long tunnel extended. The green colour of the stone it cut through was only visible on a distance of a few steps before everything melted in obscurity.
On the other side, Victoria knew, was the small grove growing behind the Elder of Kansas’ log cabin.
At the thought of that cackling wrinkled face, its scarce blond hairs, golden eyes, and absurdly white teeth, the dhampir princess felt a sudden burst of anger. She clenched her fists as something riled up at the back of her mind, and a sudden urge to punch something washed over her.
“Amb-”
A low cough, accompanied by the rhythmic tapping sound of metal against metal, quickly quelled Victoria’s bursting desire for violence
The princess meekly looked back, only to be greeted by the nightmarish vision of a tall woman, clad in a cursed black armour and surrounded by twirling purple miasma. Her wavy copper hair faintly flew in the wind, and she stood out fiercely on a background of thunderclouds and lighting. Her expression was hard and her arms crossed, the fingers of her right gauntlet slowly ticking against her armoured left biceps. The sound of it was oddly clear over the muffled growl of thunder. Her amber eyes, set on the shivering maiden before her, were burning with cold fire that promised hell if said maiden even dared not to accomplish her task.
Facing the darkest embodiment of the Greek goddess, Victoria felt a torrent of cold sweat run down her nape.
She briefly wondered why she was crying blood but not sweating it. She didn’t allow her mind to linger on the grossest implications of that idea, and quickly went back to staring at the barrier… but not before taking a rapid screenshot of the female warrior in all her dreadful might.
For better or worse, Athena was back to being pissed. The girl before her was responsible, though admittedly not entirely, for the weeks of lost time they would need to fix this mess. The only reason the tall woman hadn’t trounced the silly girl yet, all budding feelings aside, was that the latter had promised to help no matter what and seemed relatively competent despite her aura of carelessness.
However, they were now blocked by an obstacle and, be it friend, potential sex partner or prospective lover, Athena would be damned before she’d let anyone back down on a promise made to herself, no matter how much of a sweet piece of a…vatar that person was.
Although, if some telepath had been hanging out with the two females for the past few days, he could have told that Athena’s mind was less murky than it had been an hour before, and that Victoria’s earlier little crazy speech probably had something to do with it.
That however, was far from apparent in her exterior demeanour. In fact, it would need at least a good night sleep and some self-reflection for the princess’ semi-hypnotic monologue to show any lasting effects, which meant, right now, the aforementioned princess feared more for her life than for her, also repeatedly aforementioned, ass.
“So…” Victoria began prudently. “Last time, the Elder handed me this red tear-thingy and I was able to cross effortlessly. But the tear-thingy disappeared, so I guess that’s out. Mmmh… What exactly is that barrier anyway. I’d say Soul magic is a safe bet, but…”
Distractedly, she extended her hand towards the ever-changing kaleidoscope of impassable light…
…and passed right through it.
“Ala?”
Surprised by the absence of the expected resistance, Victoria lost her balance.
“Alalalala-aouch!”
Through the rapidly clearing fog of her groggy mind, the Progenitor wondered if, amongst the bulk of her heavenly misfortune, the God or Goddess of the Earth hadn’t fallen in love with her sexy princessy self and wasn’t trying to force a kiss any time They saw the occasion.
*ting*
The dormant [Vampiric Tear] has been activated.
Harmonization with the new host.
A surge of burning pain above her chest brutally redirected her thoughts towards far less cosmic considerations. Jerking on the ground, Victoria arched her back and let out an inhuman shriek:
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHH!!”
Unconcerned, the blue window blinding her began its merciless clinical report.
Harmonization with the [Vampiric Tear].
Completion: 0.01%
The screams continued.
– ***** –
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A cliffhanger… yeah… But, hey, they’re out… Well, one of them is.
My first draft had the item named [First’s Tear] or [Porgenitor’s Bloodtear], but I went with [Vampiric Tear] for some reason… I wonder why… Hehe…
Oh, and, yes, I plan to have ero scenes at some points. So, to those who find it disturbing considering the MC is technically male… I know I am at least… you have been warned? Is that a question?
Anyway, thanks for reading, and see you next chapter, which will be… deep.