Chapter 4:
Almost There
“I never want to arrive. I love the ride.”
– Coco J. Ginger
– ***** –
The supper passed eventlessly – Victoria cried a little – and it was time to move again.
Unbeknownst to each other, both adventuresses simultaneously took a glance at their clock – displaying both IG and IRL times –, hence learning it was now the middle of the night.
As most players would tell, travelling at night in an area far above one’s level would normally be either impressively ballsy or the epitome of stupidity – two notions that weren’t always mutually exclusive. However, most players didn’t travel escorted by the local boss monster and a merry bunch of – partially mutated – goblins in a country plagued with eternal darkness.
In the end, it was simply a matter of perspective.
Oddly, it wasn’t the prudent Shieldbearer, but the Reckless Imbecile who was upset about travelling at night. It messed up her in-game sleeping schedule and she only put up with it because of Athena’s short login time. She also conjectured said schedule would have to be adapted soon anyway… with her being a nocturnal creature and all. Walking around under the sun seemed like a bad idea in the long term future.
Didn’t Chaos say something about the Sun being female? And a klutz… *sigh* I wonder if she’s pissed that I turned from her personal knight to basically the boss of the people who have the most reasons for hating her? I’d rather avoid that. I already pissed Life, I don’t need to be on the Sun’s bad side too. Aaaaah… Why do I get the feeling that every single divinity beside Chaos will be running after me with [Holy Pitchforks of “Fuuuuck Yooouuuuu!!!”] by the end of the month?
I’m sure Death could find an issue with me being partially undead. I mean, that’s basically similar to fiscal evasion, no? Then the Moon will dislike me because vampires are natural enemies of werewolves. The God of Order obviously abhor my very existence, but that’s nothing new. Astrea probably holds a grudge that I used her [Sanctified Carillon of Cleansing] as part of my Santa costume… I’ll need to retailor that thing, now that I think about it… All hail Mini-Skirt Santa! … Plus there was also the matter with that novice priestess… Yeah… I somehow bet the Goddess of Purity would have disapprove. The Goddess of Fertility despises homos. Conflict of interest I suppose. I know I’m technically not, but I don’t think she’ll care… I say ‘she’, but it’s not like I have intimate knowledge of the whole Pantheon... But I suppose a God of Fertility would be kind of... I really don’t want to be hunted down by a cousin of Priapus. Please.
Seriously, what have I done to… the universe? … kill the gods … Thank you for the input Seras. That was very helpful. Haha… When do I get the [Sarcasm] skill?
Hordes of resentful invincible entities out for a bloody piece of Progenitor aside, at least sunburns – in a whole new very literal sense – weren’t a problem right now, since the [Forgotten Valley of Nowhere] was even darker than the rest of the [Cursed Kingdom of Erwin]. While the whole country was covered in perpetual and depressing grey clouds, a heavy menacing thunderstorm brooded over the bowl-shaped valley, not to mention the natural obscurity of the ancestral woods.
Yet, rain was scarce in Nowhere. But when it actually fell, it was as devastating as a large area offensive water spell. Being caught without cover was almost synonym of certain death and the dense canopy of the forest offered only a slight delay.
As such, mobility was privileged and the goblins and the two girls hadn’t bothered with futilities like tents. Their “encampment” merely consisted of the few blankets the greenies carried with them. Most of the possessions of the tribe had been lost in the collapse of [Bluerose Castle] too and what little they had manage to salvage, like the large cooking cauldrons, had been stocked in the players’ inventory for easier transport.
More intelligent species might have worried about entrusting all of their worldly possessions to strangers stronger than themselves, but, as mentioned previously, thinking wasn’t the goblins’ strongest suit. Besides, since Athena and Victoria were indeed strong enough to decimate the whole group if they felt so inclined, stealing whatever they wanted wouldn’t have posed any problem even if they hadn’t been already carrying the stuff.
However, such worries would have been meaningless because the two were women of honour who wouldn’t steal from the weak. Victoria’s keen experienced eye also had noted that all the greenies’ belongings were junk not worth the efforts of fighting to keep, but she didn’t deem pertinent to inform the righteous Shieldbearer of that particular consideration.
And so, after packing the few things they had, everyone hopped on Mistake’s broad back. The gargantuan headless ant-centaur docilely stood up and began walking in the direction chosen by the dhampir princess. For all unpredictable it was, the Spawn of Chaos seemed genuinly happy to be ridden, if the dangerous torrent of deathly bubbles it spat out was any indication.
Victoria eyed suspiciously the light transparent spheres that noisily exploded a dozen metres above their heads, hoping that no sudden downwards air current would send all the passengers into Bubble Oblivion – home to the Marshmallow Juggernaut and the Cannibal Easter Bunny.
Walking beside Mistake instead of riding it would have put everyone at a safer distance from the cloud of childishly attractive shimmering doom, but being stomped by a jerking tentacle didn’t seem more appealing an end, so this seemed like the best compromise.
The Big Guy’s back was surprisingly stable too, unlike its mismatched supporting limbs would suggest.
We’re almost there anyway, thought Victoria as she spotted a faint rainbow glow in the distance. Not discontent to finally leave this place. As much as lazing around in a cushy princess room with the cheapest rent ever is pleasant… If one’s manhood can be considered ‘cheap rent’, but I guess the trade-off was worth it… Mmmmh… Yes, it was. Anyway, I do miss real adventure and ass kicking… Though I’m not sure how much ass I’ll kick in my current condition. Speaking of asses, mine still hurts! Damn you Thena!
I wonder if eating Martha’s cooking would train the [Masochism] skill. And how am I supposed to explain all of this to Dorothy? I guess I’ll first drop by the Elder, punch him… no… have Athena punch him… Yes… then leave Athena and Martha hit it off, hopefully with the least actual hitting involved, and I’ll jump on the occasion to apologize to Little Sis for taking so long… and for becoming Big Sis instead of Big Brother.
And how am I supposed to keep my gender from Athena once we reach the village? Should I suppose every villager knows the details of the curse? Then… Damn. So many problems, so little will to find solutions… Bah, I’ll improvise. If the secret is out, the secret is out. I’ll deal with her anger somehow… And if I don’t… well… I’ll fulfil my end of the deal, bring her to [Start], find a priest to deal with the cursed gear, use some of my fortune to buy her way out of her subclass, and then say ‘Goodbye. It was fun. Sorry.’ and be done with it.
Hopefully, we’ll part in not-so-bad terms and then it will be only me and Chaos, on ze road again! Yepeee! Ye… pee… eee… WAAAAAAH!!!! I don’t want that! THEEEEEENAAA!! Dooon’t leeaaave meeeeeeeee!!!
Shushing her mental cry of despair, Victoria glanced to her side to observe the Shieldbearer in silence.
She wondered how the woman would react if she learnt that the teasing crazy eye candy next to her was in fact a “he”. Of course, Athena was smart enough to know people rarely looked as good as their avatar, but the princess kind of took that to a whole new level. Not that she considered “Nicolas” to be particularly unattractive – or, at least, a few females of questionable objectivity had hinted otherwise –, but gender usually tended to be a big issue in social interactions outside of the Kamabakka Kingdom.
Oblivious to her companion’s inner turmoil, Athena was staring at the void before her, looking oddly focused, which meant she was meddling with her interface again. She always did that whenever she had nothing else to do and was feeling uncomfortable, and, obviously, being seated on a mentally unstable abomination with enough power to crush her like a bug was one of such situations.
This concentrated face fascinated the scatterbrain princess. It was like a mask of flesh was covering an angry sea of organised thoughts Victoria couldn’t even hope to fathom. The fact all that concentration was currently directed at something Victoria couldn’t bring herself to ever care about – namely “logical planning” – was somehow even more fascinating.
Victoria often wondered what it was like to be someone else. Was it just like changing some filters? Seeing the world the same way, but analysing it subconsciously with another set of values and a different baggage of experiences? Or was it like looking at something else entirely. Surely the details each individual paid attention to weren’t identical, or even similar. Someone else would notice different things than she did. Those different things would sprout different reflexions, which would in turn branch out into a completely different thought pattern, a whole foreign mind-set.
As much as she tortured her brain, twisted her point of view, or tried to look at her surroundings through the eyes of someone else, all she could ever hope to achieve was a shallow understanding of that someone’s mind. She could never truly experience things like another human being. Even if she altered her personality, it would still be only her.
It wasn’t like she could be several persons at the same time.
Only crazy people could do that.
Staring intently at Athena, Victoria tried for the umpteenth time to grasp how the copper-headed, amber-eyed, tall and attractively muscular woman saw the world.
What had driven her to create herself an avatar that reflected strength more than beauty, contrary to so many female players? It wasn’t even like the human race couldn’t combine both. And why Shieldbearer, a class so solely focused on protecting oneself that even diehard tanks called it hardcore? How could she be so short-tempered, despite being so smart and methodical?
Why? How? Who?
The questions endlessly spiralled inside her mind, banishing all other considerations under the depreciating label of ‘boring’.
Victoria was familiar with this obsessive drive. She had felt it on numerous occasions in the past, but it was probably the first time her addiction was directed at another living, breathing human being, with all the complexity and predictable future troubles that entailed.
First time if I don’t count Eva… Although, in her case, it’s more perplexed curiosity than fascination I guess. And that girl persists in shutting me off at her metaphorical doorstep, so it’s not like I have much material to go with anyway. All I know is that she’s insecure, isn’t good with men but okay with girls, so I suppose it’s not too much of a leap to think she’s lesbian. She also likes to read scientific books, and is smart enough to ace all her tests… Oh, and she also easily gets violent… Well, a bit like Ath-
*noisy mental machinery at work*
Victoria blinked a couple times… then another dozen.
…wait.
She narrowed her eyes, closing in on the Shieldbearer’s face.
No. Fucking. Wa-
“Vicky?”
The dhampir princess started. Athena had apparently noticed her odd behaviour. Although, staring wordlessly at someone’s face, a mere five centimetres away from them, could lead to that kind of result.
“Vicky,” she repeated, blushing a little, “is there something on my face?”
“Oh? No,” the other replied as she retreated as inconspicuously as dhampirly possible. “I was just wondering if you knew how skill levelling worked. Earlier, when I was giving advices to the goblin cooks, my [Cooking] skill suddenly levelled up even though I wasn’t doing any cooking myself. Do you know why?”
To fish in her maelstrom of background ideas and instantaneously come up with something to say under almost any circumstance was an ability Victoria was proud of, as it was a good way to dodge difficult questions without actually lying.
Besides, she had been meaning to ask about skills to the Shieldbearer, assuming that Athena’s reliable bank of orthodox knowledge held most of the answers to the mysteries of the game-verse. The interrogation had just slipped out of Victoria’s concern, replaced by other bubbling attention-seeking thoughts, and had been laying in wait at the back of her head, ready to jump at any opportunity to take possession of its creator’s vocal cords.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
Being naturally unfocused came in handy sometimes.
Athena put up a thoughtful expression for a couple breaths, then answered without a shred of hesitation:
“Most people assume skill-related experience is obtained only through direct application of the skill. However, indirect application is as important, if not more. Experience is actually not obtained in direct consequences of your actions, but in consequence of how your actions affect your surroundings. In your particular case, you were directing a group of cooks, albeit loosely…”
“Hey!”
“…and so the skill considered that you took part in the cooking all the same. Some stats also influence the gain of EXP. Here, the Leadership stat must have applied and increased the experience gotten for commanding a group.”
The simple yet complete answer actually surprised Victoria, though she knew it shouldn’t have, but she also knew that an explanation of her own would have invariably devolved into a train wreck of examples, counter-examples, exceptions and unclear metaphors. As such, the princess was genuinely impressed.
“As I thought, you’re quite knowledgeable,” she honestly praised Athena.
“I only know some basic stu-”
She interrupted herself after a “cut your bullshit” glance from Victoria’s unusual eyes.
“Okay. I know a lot of basic stuff. It’s nothing great though. Most of it is available in the Help Menu. I would have never thought of a trick like the one you showed me with the case and the inventory.”
“Bah, that’s just little things you pick up with experience. I would never have the patience to go through all that ‘basic stuff’, like you call it. I just did whatever I thought would work. Or might potentially have a low percentage of maybe not not work… Or just seemed like fun… or… anyway, my point is, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t. Most often, it didn’t, and I just ended up wasting a lot of time. Not that I mind, mind you, but that’s just crazy little me. You, you basically just told me you memorized the whole dictionary, then praised me for knowing a single little neologism that would be included in the next edition of the dico anyway. I really think you’re more amazing than you give yourself credit for.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Athena retorted flatly, then she perked up and added: “I only know most of this because Mom’s one of the top guns at Whatever. She likes to listen to my complaints about the game, then we discuss technicalities and- AH!”
Athena suddenly covered her mouth with her hand and shot Victoria a horrified look, much to the confusion of the latter though, who had strictly no idea of what just happened and voiced exactly that:
“Uh? What?”
“I’m so sorry. I just blurt it out without thinking and…”
“Blurted what?”
“About my mom and… you said ‘no talk about real life’ and…”
THAT’s what she’s worried about?!
Victoria was briefly stunned, but Athena seemed about to cry for some reason, so she deduced laughing in her face presently wasn’t the most sensible course of action. So instead, she made an expression like she just remembered something – not that she had to fake much – and said in a hurried voice:
“Oh! That?! Nonono, you don’t have to worry about that. There are some things about myself I’d rather not talk about, so I thought it would be more comfortable to completely avoid the subject of real life. Because it wouldn’t feel right to have you talk about yourself one-sidedly while I just keep my mouth shut. But if you want to talk about something, feel free. I won’t get angry or anything. I’m simply not programmed to get angry anyway, or at least not for long. So don’t force yourself.”
That was pretty underhanded of her. Victoria hadn’t lied and really thought everything she had just said, but at the same time, she had slyly invited Athena to open up more while covering herself up, securing a way to confirm her recent suspicion without endangering her own “secret identity”.
Yes, it was sneaky, but Victoria wasn’t above sneaky.
Plus, it wasn’t premeditated, so it’s okay… right?
“No… Thanks but I… I also prefer not to talk about… about me… the real me I mean… that… eeeh… Sorry.” The tall woman’s voice was hesitant, almost shy, far from her usual determined sharpness.
The dhampir half-smiled and shrugged, outwardly expressing a sympathetic “no biggie, your call”, while inwardly thinking:
Tsh. Too bad. Though I suppose silence is an answer in itself.
“…”
That was fucking deep.
“Eeeh... While we’re on out of game subjects…” Athena continued.
“Yes?” Victoria tried not to sound too stalkerly hopeful.
“I saw something on the forums.”
“Ah?” She was a little disappointed, but that passed quickly. After all, this subject was sort of her home turf. “Oh, but I wouldn’t say forums are part of the NRLT rule-thing. After all, I just asked about experience and skills. It’s not like we’re going for full RP or anything.”
“…true.”
“So, what caught your interest in this vast nest of trolls? Maybe I’ve read about it too. I myself am quite the forum-animal, you know.”
That got her a raised eyebrow.
“It’s true, though you won’t find any post by me.”
That wasn’t a lie either. The IDs on the official forums for Untold Tales weren’t linked to the game accounts, so Nicolas had jumped on the occasion to keep Elric the Knowledgeable “alive”. He had also briefly entertained the idea of creating a second registration under the pseudo “Blood Princess”. That idea, however, had been rejected after a bout of paranoia had suggested him that some extremely bored hacker might track down his IP address and put him in a situation he’d rather avoid.
He disliked planning ahead, put there was a whole spectrum of idiotic carelessness between not planning ahead and not thinking ahead. Being able to be too lazy to worry about the future required to, at least, not be proactive in worsening the odds.
In conclusion, technically speaking, there wasn’t a single post by “Victoria Sangbleu” that Athena would be susceptible to find, though “Elric Walker” still continued to give random advices to random people.
Moreover, Elric had recently began a little side-project to test the extent of the influence his virtual fame brought him. He had never dared to do so up to now, because it might have backfired and ruined his game life if he became entangled with something bothersome. However, now that he had all but vanished, he thought it might be time to reap the profits of what he unwittingly had sown.
Everything should be fine as long as nobody makes a connection between the Vampire Progenitor and the Solar Knight. Should be quite the leap… I guess I’m safe as long as I’m not too obvious about it. Let’s hope the current vampire hype will cover Elric’s recent focus on the subject.
“Then…”
Athena’s voice snapped the double agent back to the present conversation.
“…what do you think of Night Noblesse?”
Victoria repressed a laugh, which turned into a very unladylike choking snort.
*cough* “The vampire guild?”
“Yes, though they’re not all vampires.”
“I suppose it wouldn’t be very viable,” conceded the half-undead.
“It does gather a lot of them though,” the other frowned.
“Well… it’s understandable. The Guild Master… eeeeh… Twilight Count…”
“Dusk Lord.”
“Yeah, that Sunset Earl. I’ve seen some pics and read a few posts. He seems pretty charismatic. And bloodsucker is a high-specs high-drawbacks race, so the new inexperienced vampires have been through some shit and they are easily swayed. They are confused little children looking for someone to guide them through their first wobbly steps in this bright yet cruel world. To be their darkness in the blinding light. To be their fallen angel in this ocean of piety. Their prophet in this land of unknowledgeable fools. The salt on their fries. The caffeine in their Coke. The cherry on the icing on the bloody cake - though I don’t like cherries myself, but that’s beside the point isn’t it?”
“Can’t you be serious about this?”
“NEVAR!! Why would I be serious? Or concerned? It’s not like I plan to join.”
“THAT GUY IS PRETENDING TO BE YOU!!”
“A cute and innocent girl with a delightful personality?”
“THE PROGENITOR!!” Athena threw her arms up in irritation and Victoria’s lips rose in a teasing smile.
“Yes. Yes. I’m just toying with you. I know what the Chunni-ly Named One has been up to. But, like I said, ‘not my problem’. I never planned to ‘rally my people’ or whatever leaders are supposed to do. Seriously, do you see me as an authority figure?”
The Soulbound diplomatically chose to practise her right to silence.
“Thought so… If Nightfall Duke wants to, I wish him all the luck in the world. I’m not jealous. Not one bit… Though I am curious about how he legitimates his claim. Might be a fun idea to pay him a visit one of these nights, in a very polite, peaceful and definitively non-bloodbath-inducing way.”
“So you really don’t care?” confirmed Athena, sensing something in the dhampir’s tone but not sure what exactly.
“Absolutely not,” Victoria’s smile broaden, yet subtly became darker.
The Shieldbearer stared at her for a bit, then pensively turned back towards the huge torso of their ride, lost in thoughts.
“That’s not my problem I guess, since I don’t intend to stay your Soulbond for too long.” Victoria winced slightly at that. “But I’m also intrigued in how he managed to convince so many people.”
“Good Looks. Undisclosed information. Lies. Promises. Propaganda. Suitable racial variant. Free cookies. And that’s only the few possibilities that I can think of off the top of my head.” She shrugged. “Between you and me though, my bet’s on the cookies. ‘Undead dig the cookies’, rule three hundred and seventy-four.”
“Rule?”
“Another place, another time, another life…”
Athena waited, but Victoria didn’t plan on elaborating further.
“O-kay… Well, he did say he was a high vampire. I guess that’s a variant.”
“There, you have it.”
“But some group seems onto him though.”
“Mmmh?”
“Some shady underground cult has been calling Dusk Lord an imposter and hindering Night Noblesse at every turn. From what I gathered, they are players from various races, even vampires, and from various kingdoms, with apparently no relation to each other except that most wield weird weapons, and that they always joke around and laugh whenever they attack.”
“Fanatics are scary,” Victoria concurred, nodding wisely.
“They call themselves the ‘Followers of the Omniscient Crazy Kaleidoscope’.”
I… I didn’t know that.
“Any idea why they would attack NN?” Athena asked, turning back to face her companion.
“None, Thena,” the dhampir quietly assured as the darkness from her smile spread to her narrowing eyes. “Absolutely none.”
– ***** –
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That was “Almost There”… a title which is as much for the protagonists than for me I guess… *sigh*
On a side note, I’ve been reading Super Powereds lately. It’s kind of boring at first and predictable too, but it really grows on you by the middle of the first volume. Although I still don’t get how it remains so highly ranked on topwebfiction, especially with things like Midnight Moonlight and Stone Burners to compete with.
Hell, it’s even higher than Worm and God knows that story is awesome – regardless of whatever slight personal issues I might have with that one… I mean Worm… not God… although…
*cough*
But I guess fame and ranking are often self-sustained resources. Don’t get me wrong, SP is entertaining, well-written, and funny… It’s just that teenagers at hero school don’t send my blood pumping as much as an amnesiac dragon-girl fighting the system and criminal warlords or a neurotic bipolar paranoid vampire.
Then again, maybe I just enjoy psycho chicks…
Anyway, enough talk about better stories than my own. Thank you for your support, and see you next chapter where… something will happen… I’d say they finally get to Kansas, but I’m still cautious about such baseless predictions.