Chapter 22 – Look what the cat dragged in!
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where--” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”
– Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland.
– ▼▼▼▼▼ –
Ah, dungeons…
Emblematic symbols of any decent fantasy universe, along with the mighty dragons, there was no adventurer who didn’t dream of obtaining ludicrous richness in the depths of these successions of rooms and floors filled with traps and belligerent monsters conveniently disposed in order of increasing strength.
Once inducers of dread, as it befitted to the lairs of Evil, many dungeons had long since lost their terrifyingness. The advent of the adventurers, crazy immortal beings with understandably little to no fear of death, had especially contributed to the shift in perception in the eyes of the inhabitants of Pandore.
A whole new commerce was born around these new socioeconomical hot spots, with of course the undying adventurers as its main suppliers. Rare ingredients, ancient relics, gemstones, mana crystals, lost mystical scriptures, spell parchments, maps, pelts, fangs, bones, armours, weapons, robes, meals, potions, accessories and even souvenirs were bought and sold in the inns, smithies, alchemist’s, herbalist’s and tailor’s shops, trinket traders and other shady back-alley dealers. For a town nowadays, having a famous dungeon nearby had become a gage of prosperity.
Located in the north of the Tame Zone, near the border of the Kingdom of Firstland, the [Zenith Cave] was one of the numerous places that could be classified as the aforementioned structure.
Despite its relatively recent discovery, and although the monsters found inside were somewhat weak for the area, this specific maze had already gathered quite a bit of fame. It had even gained the widespread nickname “Teleport Dugdeon” due to the peculiar magical circles scattered all over its dark tunnels. Indeed, with one wrong step in the [Zenith Cave], the careless explorer could suddenly find themselves anywhere on the Pandore Continent.
Well, the teleportation itself was harmless enough.
It was the welcoming committee that usually posed problem.
Rumours had it that the famous and eccentric Wandering Knight, Elric Walker, used to visit the [Zenith Cave] every so often to voluntarily get transported Chaos knows where – and He certainly did – before he disappeared, roughly four months ago.
– *** –
In the last cavern of the underground labyrinth, a party of nine was currently facing the [Swordsmage Golem “Claymore”], boss of the [Zenith Cave].
Unable to get a decent map, the group had needed two long weeks to reach Claymore. Those fifteen days had been especially hard for the tank of the party, a two-metre tall Shield Bearer in full-body armour and bearing – of course – a huge tower shield.
[Shield Bearer] was, as of now, the most defence-oriented class known to players, a living fortress, not devoid of agility, but with an attack power that made halfling Bards seem threatening in comparison. As such, the class couldn’t do much on its own – except not dying, which was already not that bad – but would prove invaluable for any party if used correctly.
However, despite being a virtually unkillable mountain of muscles clad in metal, this particular Shield Bearer was now reaching the breaking point.
Oh, not because of the innumerable hits taken, the constant vigilance required, nor the heavy equipment. Those came with the job, so no complain. No. The problem laid somewhere else…
*SLASH*
“Meat Shield! Carful! That almost hit me!”
“Oh! Meat Shield! Cover me!”
“God! Can’t you do anything properly, Meat Shield?!”
*BAM*
“Lancelot, to your left! Richard, take the centre! Gallant, the acid spell! MEAT SHIELD!! HOLD FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!! Don’t tell you’ve problems dealing with this little rock puppet? Whose fault do you think it is we had to delay the boss fight?!”
Then why don’t you take its blows yourself, bitch?! And I have a name dammit!!
What was wearing down the tank’s patience and composure, more than the monsters, were the other players in the party.
Despite the fact none of them had endured more than a flesh wound, all thanks to the abnormally efficient Shield Bearer, they persisted in their condescending tone and endless insults. Truthfully, calling those arrogant bastards “ungrateful” would have been an insult to Selfishness Itself, given such a divinity existed.
*RUMBLE*
“HIIIIII!!”
“Hoy! Useless slowpoke! Cover Viviane!”
She’s fine! Damn! Can’t you even read the battle properly? That obvious that the next attack won’t come before four point six seconds! The swordsman should… But it’s not like they would listen to me, would they? They never do. If I didn’t swear myself to always finish a job taken I’d… Why did I even agree to fill in for their sick Warden again? Right… I got tricked by that bitch… Damn, just because she was giving me the look, I just… Me and my- AH! Not there you idiotic Archer! DAMN! Does this Enchantress intend to sacrifice the whole party? … She probably does. And I bet those morons are so smitten with the bitch they wouldn’t even complain.
Although this group’s behaviour was especially bad, it wasn’t like such disdain was uncommon. The root of the issue was that many newbie players chose characters with high defence simply to avoid death and its subsequent penalty, without actually knowing what to do with their stats. All those self-proclaimed incompetent “tanks” had ended up the defensive playstyle a bad reputation as a whole.
Experienced adventurers of course knew how to appreciate a good tank, but, even then, most of these veterans already had fully functional parties, which left almost no other options than joining lesser groups or temporarily taking a vacant spot like it was the case here.
– *** –
After an entire hour of a uselessly long battle, the [Swordsmage Golem “Claymore”] was finally on its rocky knees. All the party had left to do was to deal the finishing blow, take their reward, and then get out of the cave.
However…
“RRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!!!”
Claymore suddenly crossed its twin… well… claymores over its boulder-like head, and thousands of small rocks came flying from all over the cavern to agglomerate in a huge mass before the boss.
[Rock Canon]… But for it to be this large… It must be a special variant. This is dangerous. I must-
“What?!”
Wishing to rush at Claymore to break its stance, and thus stop the forming attack, the Shield Bearer was surprisingly unable to move, entangled by thick bluish vines covered in thorns.
[Brambles Cage]? But how… That BITCH!!
The leader of the party, now affectionately nicknamed “that bitch”, was a beautiful Enchantress going by the name Morgan.
Among the common mage classes, [Enchanter] was one dedicated to support. Their role was to cast magic from the sidelines to increase their allies’ efficiency, but in a different way than the Priest’s and Bard’s buffs did, and [Brambles Cage] was one of the basic binding spells they had, which left very little doubt on the identity of the culprit.
Moreover, not even trying to hide what she just did, Morgan was currently standing at a distance, amicably waving goodbye, with Gallant the Mage flashing a mean smile beside her.
Having been very conscientious during the whole fight, the tank had of course all the aggro and thus all of Claymore’s attention. The Golem was so focused in fact, that it didn’t even notice Richard the Swordsman running at it from the side and arming his finishing skill.
As the last blow was finally dealt, the boss fired the boosted [Rock Canon].
Unable to take a step out of the trajectory of the giant boulder, the Shield Bearer prepared for the impact, hammering the tower shield in the ground, refusing to go down, if only to erase that smug smirk off the party’ faces.
“[Last Stand]!”
[Last Stand], a last resort skill that consumed half of the player’s maximum health points in exchange for a few seconds of total invulnerability. A unique chance to survive a one-shot attack.
*SLAM*
The propelled boulder crashed with the power of a charging [Minotaur] – that means a lot – against the shield, which bent and broke under the pressure, and the tall tank’s armoured body was sent flying against the wall of the cave in a thundering noise, then slid to the ground.
*pant* *pant* *pant*
Morgan’s eyes widened in shock seeing her sacrificial pawn still breathing after taking such a blow.
No… more than breathing… already standing up.
What do you say of this, bitch?! Didn’t expected that, did you?
“YOU BITCH!!! I WILL KI-”
*shwe….
Morgan’s smile returned.
…eeeeep*
A bright light flashed, and everything went blank.
– *** –
A blink of an eye latter, the whiteness was abruptly replaced by a swirling dizzying rainbow-coloured maelstrom.
Where the hell is this?
…uh?
I can’t talk?
“Oh, no, you can’t. I like my quieticism, you see.”
A voice suddenly resounded in the maelstrom, coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, a strange voice, like every word was pronounced by a different person, yet all holding the same underlying tone of malicious playfulness.
Who are you?!
“Who am I? That’s the great puzzle isn’t it? I couldn’t answer you, for I am not myself.”
What kind of nonsense are you spouting?
“Nonsense… What a nonsensical concept. Doesn’t the sense one makes depend on what that person’s concept of no-nonsense is?”
Tsk. Whatever. Is there any question you can ask without talking gibberish?
“Mmmh… Well… I am what you mortals and adventurers call the Great Entropy, the Final Irony, the Primordial Disorder, Chaos, pick one. I don’t really care.”
One of the Great Gods? Wait… Now you’re telling me who you are?!
“Who did?”
You!
“When?”
JUST NOW!!!
“Did I?”
AAAAAAH!! *sigh* I don’t have time for this. I have a bitch to kill. Where is this place?
“But My home of course.”
And how did I get here?
“You kind of stepped on a random teleportation circle and I kind of hijacked your random teleportation.”
You can do that?
“Well, random is My domain I suppose.”
I guess it makes sense.
“Rutabaga.”
I don’t even want to ask… Am I right to think one of the two Great Gods didn’t just drag little me here on a whim? Or did you?
“Well, I was kind of hoping you’d help a friend.”
*ting*
New Quest: Chaos’ Very Vague Request
The higher being known as Chaos requests your help in helping an unnamed friend. This is suspicious. Running away is advisable. Unless you are floating in mid-air surrounded by a rainbow maelstrom in the heart of the god’s realm, in which case you are screwed.
But you can still refuse… maybe?
Difficulty Unknown
Success Condition:
Saving Chaos’ friend.
Failure Condition:
You die.
Consequences:
Upon Success:
- Chaos’ gratitude... something you really do not want.
- Rewarded with whatever Chaos’ friend wishes to give you.
Upon Failure:
- Dying… duh!
----------------------------------------
- Do you accept? -
I refuse.
You have refuesed the quest “Chaos’ Very Vague Request”.
No shit…
“Hoho… Such straightforward answer. May I know why?”
Because accepting a request form the God of Chaos seems like a dangerous idea, and I have already filled my quota of bad decision this week. Plus I still have a bitch to kill.
“Mmmmh… Do you really think you’d be able to beat their whole party all alone? In one on one, okay, but being outnumbered isn’t really at your advantage. What if I tell you I could help? I just want a little service in return…”
I’ll find a way. Accepting your help sounds like making a deal with the Devil.
“The Devil… Haha… I’ve been called that. But that’s just because people don’t know how to appreciate a good gift.”
My answer is still no. You might be a god, but why would I trust someone who doesn’t even show their face?
“You’ re a careful one aren’t you… Well, it’s not like I really have a… but… Why not.”
The twirling rainbow froze, and the scenery abruptly switched to an endless meadow blown over by a gentle breeze. Two metres away, as to contradict the peaceful surroundings, a sinister hooded man was sitting on a wooden chair. His face was impossible to make out, and he was slowly stroking a fat purple stripped cat sitting on his lap.
Another chair was facing him, in which the Shield Bearer in turn sat.
“Better? Nyaa~”
It was the cat that talked, in a high-pitched yet somehow British voice.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Calling Yourself Chaos seems credible at least.
“Nyahahahaha… So, about my request? Nyaa~”
You still have given me no reason to accept. Besides, why would a god need me for? Can’t you just help that friend of yours yourself?
“That would be no fu- against the rules. Nyaa~”
You slipped.
“Well, that would still be against the rules. Nyaa~ The gods can’t just do as they please with the mortal world. Nyaa~”
Aren’t you the Great Chaos? What do you care about rules?
“Rutabaganyaa?”
YOU JUST DON’T WANT TO DO IT DO YOU?!?!
“Nyahahaha… I have my reasons. Nyaa~ Besides, that’s the whole point of being the Chaos. Contrary to Order, who must follow the rules, I can either not follow them or… Nyaa~ … not not follow them!”
Still, that’s a no.
“Nyaa~ That’s a shame. I really thought you were a perfect fit to help my friend. Nyaaaaa~ What am I supposed to say to my cute little Victoria nyaow?”
…
“I bet she would have been grateful too. Nyaa~ She’s such a good girl. And powerful too. Nyaa~ But a bit gullible I fear, she’s just too trusting of strangers. Actually, she wouldn’t be in this mess if she had been a bit more doubtful. Nyaa~”
…
“Nyah… I really wonder what I shou-”
Is she really that cut- powerful?
“That’s a nyes. To both your questions. Nyaa~”
I-I don’t know what you mean.
“And I’m positive she doesn’t have anyaone she likes right nyaow.”
Like I said, I have no idea what you’re talking about. So, what kind of problem does this cu- your friend have?
“Oh… She’s an idiot. She got cursed and locked in a tower after listening to the promises of a suspicious old man. Nyaa~”
So… It’s a case of a beauty in a tower?
“Precisely. Creepy castle, tall tower, top room, dragon, the whole package. She’s a princess too.”
Isn’t this a bit stereotypical?
“There are cookie-addict [Dullahan] too.”
I shouldn’t have asked.
“So you’re in? Nyaa~”
*ting*
New Quest: Chaos’ Request
The God of Chaos requests that you help His cute and powerful friend, Princess Victoria, who got trapped in a tower due to her own carelessness.
Difficulty Unknown
Success Conditions:
Saving Victoria.
Failure Conditions:
You die… that didn’t change.
Consequences:
Upon Success:
- Chaos’ gratitude... you still do not want that.
- Additional rewards from Victoria.
Upon Failure:
- Dying.
----------------------------------------
- Do you accept? -
Well, why not. I can’t get my revenge right now anyway. Besides, it’s not like it’s really that urgent. I should have seen it coming, so I can only blame myself. Logically thinking, there was a high probability of me being betrayed during that job. I’m in.
You have accepted the quest “Chaos’ Request”.
“You knyaow, I don’t really like you.”
Where did that come from?!
“You broke your shield, right? Nyaa~ I’ll give you one I had in stock… It will fit you perfectly. Nyaa~ Done. It’s in your [Inventory]. Nyaa~”
Wait, don’t simply brush off what you just said!
The cat began swaying its tail left and right while looking at the sky.
“♩ Twas Brillig ♪ And the slithy toves ♩ Did gyre and gimble in the wabe ♪ … Byebye … ♪ All mimsy were the borogoves ♫And the mome raths outgrabe ♫ … Oh! I restored your health but… Well… Careful with the landing. The fall is a bit long.”<1>
What do you bean by-
The chairs and the meadow suddenly disappeared, revealing a vast forest far below, surrounded by green faintly glowing cliff coated in rainbow light.
“faaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaa…”
In the arms of the suspicious character, standing in the air like on solid ground, the cat waved his paw goodbye, then a gust of wind brushed the man’s hood off, revealing the faceless head of a wooden puppet, and the pair burst into a rain of flower petals and flaming doves.
– *** –
Under a hole in the dark green canopy, at the end pf a downward trail of broken branches, a tall armoured human was laying in the middle of a crater, strangely unscathed.
“Damn that troll god! If you were going to make a [Air Cushion], just teleport me on the freaking ground!!”
Mumbling and cursing, the Shield Bearer got back up and readily checked Chaos’ “gift”, hoping it wouldn’t be something totally useless.
“Wha…”
Is was a shield alright… a huge ominous pitch-black shield oozing faint red miasma and carved with a smiling skull which had lifelike snakes as hair.
“Fit me perfectly? That bastard… Why did he say he didn’t like me? WHY PICK ME TOO HELP YOUR FRIEND THEN?!?! IS IT JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO BE CONTRADICTORY?!… Tsk. I hope that girl really is cute… Well, this skull does look rather cool…”
*ruffle* *ruffle*
“Grrrr…”
On second thought, screaming in the middle of an unknown forest wasn’t the brightest thing to do. Damn this god who makes me do stupid things…
Three [Spectral Wolf] had emerged from the dense vegetation surrounding the crater. Immediately, the lone tank equipped the scary looking shield and took a stance to face the oncoming enemies, already evaluation the probability of winning with almost not attack power.
[Spectral Wolf] I guess. Three. Probably around 130. I can manage an approximate 40 levels gap, but that going to be tough.
However, upon seeing the shield, the three wolfs suddenly froze.
“Oh… That’s…”
Then the beast started moving again.
Well, complete petrification would have been too much of cheat I guess. But I can use this.
A grin spread on the shield-wielding warrior’s face.
“Come at me, puppies…”
– *** –
In the tallest tower of a cursed castle surrounded by monster-filled woods, a solitary albinos bat was nimbly flying up a staircase, regularly letting out a barely audible screech.
Contrary to the popular belief, bat weren’t blind, it was just that most species had poor eyesight adapted to night vision. Bright light could impair them, but they still were well able to see. As such, the echolocation this one was currently using wasn’t really necessary, but this particular bat liked to practice.
Reaching a thin blood red veil, the tiny flying mammal agilely slipped through a gap and glided in direction of a large four poster bed in the centre of a dichromatic chamber.
Stolen story; please report.
However, halfway to her target, the face of the bat suddenly twitched and her limbs abruptly started to elongate. A lightning-fast transformation later, a naked white-haired young woman was in place of the animal, comically flapping her arms in mid-air for a couple heartbeats, before gravity took back its rights and threw the fair lady on the floor.
- 42 HP
Face in the carpet, she mumbled:
“Damn… morning already… miscalculated…”
Being only half of a vampire, Victoria could only maintain her bat-form at night, something that probably had more to do with the position of the moon and stars than the lack of light itself, since it was always dark in Nowhere.
She rolled on the ground and gave an accusing look to the ring slipped on the middle finger of her left hand.
“Minus forty-two for falling from a metre high? That’s a bit too much don’t you think, Calamity-chan?”
The ring that Elric had once picked up after defeating the [Soul Dragon of the Abyss “Kalameet”] was actually what one could call a “junk item”. Called the [Calamity Ring], its only effect was to double any damage taken by the wearer.
Pretty useless, but good to raise the [Endurance] stat.
She just needed to remember to remove it when leaving the tower and its non-penalty-death policy.
How she had been able to know of the “power” of the accessory was thanks to her [Hereditary Memory] trait.
She wasn’t sure if it was an ability all vampires possessed or something specific to Seras herself. The trait worked similarly to the [Identification] skill, but only with items the Princess or her ancestors had had knowledge on. Although not without limits, this was still pretty broken given that one would normally need to level up various professions like [Tailoring] or [Blacksmithing] to be able to identify items related to said professions.
Incidentally, after thoroughly going through all the red tomes, the current Victoria was pretty certain that Seras’ “vampirisation” hadn’t been due to some kind of curse, nor infection. It was pretty clear when reading between the lines of Ambrose’s autobiography and the mindless scribbles of her predecessors. More precisely, when filling the inconsistencies in Ambrose’s tale with what transpired through the madness.
Most likely, vampires had once been a sentient race, and not only the degenerated [Ghouls] that could be found nowadays. A race proficient in both Blood and Soul magic. On a guess, Victoria would say there had been such a vampire somewhere up Seras’ ancestry, the same that had taught house Corbin about Necromancy.
Somehow, this “little detail” had been lost in History, resulting in an incoherent blur as to where the Corbins’ powers came from, as well as a catastrophic misunderstanding when, for some unclear reasons, this heritage had suddenly awoken in the Erwynian Princess, two thousand years ago.
But, thanks probably to an unconscious use of the [Hereditary Memory], some of the “Victorias” throughout the ages accessed this information and wrote about it without thinking.
“Well, it’s not like I have any proof… But now I know what to do as soon as I leave this place: search for the vampires! If I can somehow turn back into one even after breaking the curse, that’d be great! I mean, being a vampire is so much fun! I’d be on board even if only for flying and…”
Leaving her sentenced unfinished, she delicately waved towards a round wooden archery target hanging from the wardrobe. At her gesture, five ruby-like opaque spikes embedded in the wood jumped out and flew towards her hand.
*thud*
Victoria looked at the four darts hovering over her fingers, then lowered her frowned gaze to the one laying on the carpet.
“Well, I guess this one is worn.”
[Hematokinesis (Higher)] enabled her to manipulate blood at will, to change its shape, and even to solidify it in a gem-like state. The result was still quite brittle, but at least sharp and resistant enough to pierce trough flesh, as she had painfully confirmed by impaling herself the first time she tried to propel a makeshift spear with the power of her mind.
She again wasn’t totally sure of the extent of her power over blood, since UT’s skills descriptions were always very vague and cryptic, filling themselves as the player discovered new applications. In fact, the easiest way to unlock the full potential of a skill was to study with a master, but, without that option – Seras’ spirit was in no state of teaching whatever she might know –, Victoria had to proceed by trial and error.
A very unadvisable method when it came to supernatural powers.
The first time she tried to manipulate her own blood, she actually blew up her hands and had to commit suicide by throwing herself down the stairs.
One thing she was quite convinced of though, was that she could only use [Hematokinesis] – she had no idea about the “Higher” part – with her own life fluid.
There hadn’t been any opportunity to test her theory, but that would have explained why she lost control over the blood if she played with it too much, like that dart earlier. Probably it was infused with her mana while within her body and that energy would wear out as she used the skill, which would also explain why the [Hematokinesis] didn’t cost any mana despite being obviously magical.
With a slight mental push, the four obedient shards flew back to the wooden target, were they stuck themselves as the vertices of a perfect square.
Her control over large quantities of blood was still a bit haphazard, but something like those big needles didn’t pose any problem.
She then picked up the useless fifth one and threw it through the window. Sparkles flickered in the air when it crossed the frame, but nothing else happened.
“I wonder why my blood can pass through the barrier, but I can’t… Well, I guess it has to do with Soul Magic again. Now, now... That bat form is pretty fun to use, but…”
Looking down at her naked self, she sighed. Actually, she could have just used the in-game functionalities to instantaneously equip and unequip her dress, but, with the exception of cumbersome armours, Elric had always preferred to put his clothes on by himself, rather than to have them instantaneously appear on his body. After turning into Victoria, that still didn’t change.
Her fingers slowly slid up along her perfect figure, enjoying her natural beauty empowered by the [Ageless] and [Charm] traits, and stopped between her breasts where the tear-shaped red gem, given by the Elder, should have been.
Upon logging back in for the first time after her transformation, she hadn’t been able to find the jewel anywhere. She couldn’t figure out what happened to it, and only hoped it wasn’t again some sort of scam by the old crook.
She still remembered that time Elric had bought a sword from a peddler, only to find it missing the next morning. As the Wandering Knight had found out after “meeting up” with the merchant, it had actually been a magic sword which would go back to its sheath if separated from it for more than a day.
After that incident, he had used the sword – finding its ability very convenient given his tendency to lose things – until he had laid his hands on his regenerative blade. The [Boomerang Sword] was currently piling up dust in Horizon’s Safe.
“I probably should get it back…”
She made her way to the wardrobe, and took out one of the numerous identical white garment and a set of self-tailored underwear.
Concerning the bra and panties, she was quite proud of the results. Although the cloth she had cut out of the dresses was a bit see-through, it wasn’t very noticeable against her pale skin. Besides, at least that way, her undergarment weren’t visible though her light white dress. The contrary would have been plain vulgar.
She was a lady, dammit!
Properly dressed, she sat down on the bed and grabbed the magic crystal cup on the table, which instantaneously filled with a thick red liquid. She drank the whole content in a single gulp.
And her face distorted in an expression of pure disgust.
“Pwuuuuaah… No wonder Seras lost it after drinking this for ten years. This fake blood tastes like curdled milk mixed with cranberry juice.”
Being half-vampire, she could ingest normal food, but nevertheless needed a regular blood intake to fill her [Thirst] bar, which had appeared next to the [Satiety] one. Since she hadn’t eaten anything for the past four months, the latter had long since hit rock bottom, but her body could apparently still go on as long as the [Thirst] bar wasn’t empty. That didn’t stop hunger from tormenting her day and night though.
Well, she actually managed to level up her [Survival] skill thanks to that, so she made the best of a bad meal, so to speak.
If both bars were to fall empty at the same time, then she would die.
Probably…
She had never managed to actually test it. No matter how disgusting the pseudo-blood tasted, it was like trying to dehydrate herself to death next to a bucket of muddy water. She always ended up giving in at some point.
She also had no idea what would happen if she became low on [Thirst] while her [Satiety] was still good. However, without any way of knowing, she had tucked the question in a corner of her brain until an occasion of testing it out presented itself.
By the way, drinking her own blood had no effect whatsoever, and it just tasted like normal blood to her.
“Well, a girl has to do what she has to do to survive, doesn’t she?”
Resisting to the urge of making herself vomit what she just drank, Victoria let herself fall back on the fluffy bedding, rolled about for a couple minutes, playing with the pillows, and then gestured nonchalantly in direction of the cheval glass, like a lethargic hikikomori reaching for the remote control. Her own reflection progressively faded away, replaced by two familiar green creatures moving in the dark in an odd jerky manner.
“What the… oh NO!! Damn you mirror! Switch to something else!! I didn’t subscribe to the Goblin X Channel!”
Incoherently waving her hands, she managed to change the image from Ru and Mia’s sex life to a monstrosity merrily bubbling in a corner of the forest.
“Eeeh… This guy is carefree as usual…”
After weeks of observation, it became obvious that the hideous Spawn of Chaos wasn’t really aggressive. In fact, as one could expect, its actions were just extremely random. Being the strongest creature around, the other monsters usually left it alone, and the deformed existence spent most of its days wandering the valley, making bubbles, sleeping or eating whatever he felt like. The thing was apparently omnivorous.
“Well, this is all well and good, but how’s my latest candidate Prince Charming doing? Mirror Mirror on the carpet, did I once again win my bet?”
The living Picasso blurred and was replace by the figure of a blood covered knight pushing open the door to a familiar torch-lit corridor.
Victoria’s eyes widened in surprise and she let out an appreciative whistle.
“Oh-oh… He actually made it that far? Maybe I will lose today? Although whichever the result, betting against myself doesn’t reap good profits. On the other hand, it don’t lose much either. Well, in the end, it’s just getting boring.”
Prone on her bed, her chin rested on her fists, she excitedly kicked the air with her feet, deploring for the umpteenth time the lack of popcorn as she commented the fight between the knight and the two undead guardians.
“Aaaaand this is a nice block by our challenger! The blows are raining both ways ladies and gentlemen! But will he be able to fend off the famous double slash of the current champion Headison? No… no… YESSS!! That’s a magnificent technical action we just saw there! I am quite impressed myself!”
As the coach of the Dark team, any thoughts Princess Seras? … KILL HIM HEADISON!!! ... Hola! Princess, you’re quite reactive today, aren’t you? … butchery … bath in the blood of their unborn child … blood … blood … I shouldn’t have asked…
– ***** –
The battle between the unknown knight – unfortunately, the mirror didn’t transmit sound – and the [Dullahan] pair actually continued for a good half-an-hour, before ending on an unexpected result…
“Eeeeh… I think the public is a stunned as me… I… I… cannot find the word to describe what I just witnessed, Patrick.”
Seras, an insightful comment? … kiss of death … cold … disappointing match … destroy their souls … refund … not a monster … not a monster … good girl ….
“My thoughts exactly…”
After surprisingly succeeding in slaying Headison, the knight had then had to fight an enraged Tazius. Despite a gruesome injury, the man had somehow managed to hold his ground for some time, until stupidly slipping in a puddle of his own blood and getting smashed by the undead’s mace.
May it be dumb luck, but the corpse of the defeated challenger, struck by Tazius full force, had flown across the hall, and the sword he was still holding even in death had ended up impaling the Big Guy’s head that was laying in a corner.
Truly an unexpected draw… and a quite idiotic-looking one too.
“Well… I guess that means again waiting for the next one. He should probably show up in a couple hours at most. Now I guess I’ll go play chess or something.”
Up for a game, Seras? … blood …
*sigh*
Resigned to his lodger’s uncooperative nature, Victoria gestured to turn off the magic screen.
“Well, against myself it is. Where did I pu- The fuck!?”
As her reflection slowly replaced the bloody aftermath of the fight, the bewildered Princess caught glimpse of movement in the corridor that now should only house motionless death.
“Back on! Back on, you stupid cheval!!”
The blurry image cleared, revealing that someone was indeed walking down the corridor towards the three corpses. Wearing a worn and unadorned thick grey full-body armour, the mysterious guest was also carrying a huge spooky black shield. The set look awfully heavy, yet he was carrying it with ease.
“Just what is his strength? No, more importantly… Where did that guy come from?!”
– ***** –
Following the knight had been a good idea.
Still mentally tired from the [Zenith Cave], the weary Shield Bearer had nevertheless managed to cross the [Forgotten Valley of Nowhere] in a single day, mostly running away from monsters after temporarily stunning them with the shield. Thankfully, [Bluerose Castle] hadn’t been that far.
However, as a tank without a damage dealer, conquering a high-level dungeon all alone was beyond hopeless. True, squashing a few [Lesser Zombie] wasn’t that hard, but things like a [Skeleton Lancer] or [Skeleton Mage] with their longer range or a [Corrosive Decaying Salamander] with its acid breath were something else entirely. Moreover, if surrounded by legions of undead with no escape, the monsters certainly wouldn’t have been the ones to tire first.
Because… well… undead just don’t get tired.
Then, the knight had appeared, rushing past and mowing down undead without looking at anything else, apparently sure of the way he was going.
Well, that Chaos said to give a hand to his friend, not that I actually had to kill all the monsters myself.
With that thought in mind, the human fortress had discreetly followed in the path of corpses, eventually witnessing the battle with the two [Dullahan], and the weird draw that concluded it.
Now, given the look of the metal door that the headless monsters had been guarding, all was left was probably the boss.
Two bosses in two days… Didn’t that guy say something about a dragon? I just hope Princess Victoria won’t mind me taking the easy route. Sorry Mr Knight.
It did feel a bit like stealing someone else’s hard work, which wasn’t a very good feeling, but since this was the Great God’s fault in the first place, any remorse died out as soon as it was born.
The knight’s body didn’t hold any value since dead adventurer couldn’t be looted without a special skill, and the sword he had dropped was useless for a defence oriented player, but the two other corpses were thoroughly searched.
As expected, the key was on the slimmer one.
With a last uncomfortable look at the unwittingly helpful man, who was laying dead in a weird posture with a stunned head skewered on his sword, the Shield Bearer shrugged and entered the last room.
– ***** –
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Victoria was staring at her mirror with eyes as wide as saucers, not losing a drop of the impossible scene that was unfolding before her eyes.
“How is he even doing this? That’s amazing…”
After seeing this newcomer sneakily plunder the already defeated Cookie Duo, she had been both surprised and vaguely pissed. Well, following stronger players in dungeons and levelling of their leftovers was sadly not that uncommon, but Elric had always found it petty.
However, when the guy actually entered Kalameet’s turf, Victoria’s annoyance had turned into complete puzzlement. Given his equipment, she gathered he was some kind of heavily defensive player, so it made no sense for him to go fight a boss on his own.
Of course, Victoria didn’t share the general disdain towards tanks, but fighting a boss without attack power was something even the eccentric she considered barely possible.
And the opponent was a freaking dragon! There was no almost no way he made it.
“No way… right… Then what exactly am I watching?”
Judging form Kalameet’s movement pattern, the [Soul Dragon of the Abyss] was already down at least half his health, while its opponent, if slightly exhausted, didn’t look like he was hurt at all.
That wasn’t true, of course, Victoria had seen for herself the supposed tank gulp down several health potions, clear sign that Kalameet’s attacks, especially its [Soul Fire Breath], were effective.
But then why wasn’t that guy getting more careful?
Well, she knew she wasn’t really one to talk about being careful, but she felt something here was fundamentally different from her how mindlessness.
The actions of this Spooky Shield were neither recklessness nor overconfidence, and were also unlike Elric’s “overfocus” mode which exacerbated his senses and made him run on pure instinct while banishing all distractions from his mind, no… that was… different… somewhat cold… efficient… and fascinating.
Every attack, every step, every defensive move was made with almost mechanical precision and, above all, a timing that was completely out of the scatterbrained Victoria’s sense of reality.
It was like this player knew exactly when to strike, where to strike and when to fall back to take the full advantage of his monstrous defence and deal the most damage with his puny attack power by always targeting the blind spots and recoil times of Kalameet with dead on accuracy.
From Victoria’s perspective, her who always had disregarded efficiency and thought-out planning as bothersome and unnecessary, that was like someone was forcefully opening her eyes on the wonders that could exist on the other extreme of the spectrum.
And what her eyes saw was beauty.
Like a dance… not the tribal merciless dance of slaughter that was the specialty of Elric, but a freezing ballet of refined death that extinguished life bit after bit until only silence was left.
If Elric had been the scorching sun, this was the patient moon.
Victoria couldn’t avert her eyes.
– *** –
After four hours of what felt like a very slow and meticulous execution, Kalameet’s materialized body finally dissipated in a fading mist.
It took another couple minutes to Victoria to grasp the fight had ended.
Blinking, she look around, surprised to find herself in her cosy bedchamber and not in the devastated throne room. Her eyes were sore from not even blinking for hours, in fear of missing even the slightest movement of the mysterious player who had showed up without a warning and upset her whole vision of the world.
She inhaled slowly. She had been so tensed for the whole duration of the battle that she had forgotten to breath several times, probably only escaping death by asphyxia thanks to her half-undead condition.
“What… This… I…”
… I want to talk to him…
Then realisation dawned on her and she looked back at the mirror where no one could be seen anymore.
“Oh… shit.”
What do I do? What do I do? I’m not ready! … die …
Vicotria’s panicked eyes fell on the bed behind her.
– *** –
*pant* *tap* *pant* *tap* *pant* *tap*
Armours… and stairs… not a good mix. But I can’t let my guard down just know. If that supposedly cute girl really is an acquaintance of that god, there’s no saying what she will do.
*pant* *tap* *pant* *tap*
But that [Soul Dragon]… I never saw a monster like this. I even had to go all out, and I barely made it. My whole stock of potions is gone too. Damn. And all those undead. Where exactly did that bastard send me?
*pant* *tap* *pant* *tap*
That knight seemed to know where he was going though. Is it a known dungeon? If such a place was in the Tame Zone, it would be quite famous… then this is… somewhere in the Wild? How do I even make it back to Firstland? This “Victoria” better have some answers.
*pant* *tap* *pant* *tap* *pant* *tap* *tap*
The climbed ended with a stone arch obstructed by a blood red veil embroidered with a delicate bark blue rose.
That rose again…
Behind the gossamer curtain, a charming room all in tones of ruby and sapphire made the sweaty and dirt-covered warrior feel coarse and out of place. Then a light breeze blew through the opened window, and a cloth of pure white and hair as immaculate fluttered in the wind.
On the bed, still as a statue, was a girl laying over the blanket, as if she had just thought of it as a short nap but never woke up. Her skin was pale like the dead yet had the freshness of the living. Her surreal beauty, her alluring curves underlined by her dress that fitted her quite closely, and her otherworldly aura made her look like a heavenly maiden enclosed in a small morsel of Paradise in the castle of Hell.
Who said “cute”? This is an angel…
The burly tank blushed.
“An angel”. What am I, a grade-schooler?
A dented helmet, a soiled armour and a dreadful shield were swiftly unequipped.
And a face roughly cleaned.
Then, not showing the façade of reserve Elric once showed, the envoy of Chaos stepped forwards to claim the obvious reward for such a quest.
A kiss from the sleeping beauty.
When their lips locked together, hers had the irony taste of blood. Oddly enough, it suited her.
However, a spark of electricity abruptly rushed between them and the hunched shieldless Shield Bearer suddenly felt dizzy and powerless, paralyzed, invaded by an unstoppable foreign existence.
And the voice began to whisper:
… curse … blood … death … madness in the daaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…
The murderous whisper brutally morphed into a head-splitting shriek of despair and horror. Then, a violent shockwave sent the stunned Shield Bearer flying backwards and against the wall of the tower.
*rumble*
On the bed, the beautiful maiden jerked up, grabbing her head in pain, screaming voicelessly and coughing up blood that was immediately absorbed by the white dress without leaving a trace.
After what seemed like an eternity, but in fact lasted barely a few heartbeats, the angel-like young woman, her heavenly visage a little spoiled by the gory red fluid maculating her chin, turned towards the one staring silently at her from the floor.
Victoria’s peculiar enchanting eyes widened in utter surprise, and a hoarse yet melodious voice rose in the silent bedroom:
“You… you’re a girl?!?!”
– ***** –
<1> I never know of this guy is funny or creepy… probably a little bit of both.
Spoiler :
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Aaaaaand chap 22!
I actually had planned 22 and 23 differently, but then I reread what I had written and found it boring, so I mashed up the two and this is what it became. I hope it wasn’t. Boring I mean.
I also hope the switches of PoV were clear enough. I wanted to avoid bluntly writing “XXX’s PoV” all the time. I think the result isn’t confusing, but don’t hesitate to tell if I’m wrong.
Writing without pronouns is quite a hassle too… I don’t even know if it was worth it, since the end game was quite obvious… I think…
Anyway, thank you for your faithfulness and see you next chapter for… well… what comes next.
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