Once Upon A Time:
Blood Princess Origins
“Like THAT's ever gonna happen! What a load of...”
– Shrek
– ***** –
Slowly, the quill was dipped inside the ink bottle, lifted out, and held still. A single black drop fell off its tip, back in the glass container. The ink rippled. Then the instrument carefully flew over one of the blank page of an opened book, ready to rewrite down the first words of an old tale.
“This is stupid.”
– *** –
Once upon a time, in a forgotten land,
There was a king, and a queen, and their baby child,
The Princess of the Rose, pride of the kingdom,
For at birth was foretold: “Peace to days unknown!”
As prophesised, the seasons passed,
Bringing joy, wealth, and no menace.
The princess grew, kind and pretty,
A future queen, a fierce beauty.
Eyes of deep blue, smile of goddess,
Flowing black hair, dark as the night,
Loved by the crowd and the noblesse,
And above all, loved by her knight.
–
He was a man above his pairs.
Magic, strength, looks, none could compare.
His eyes of gold, a lion’s mane,
A sword master, a mage supreme.
The sovereigns, apt at planning,
For their blessed land wished a strong king,
Their own daughter, to reach their goal,
Hand, arm, and head, they gave her whole.
Arranged marriage, choices denied,
Classic royals, all line and pride.
But the betrothed laughed in their sleeves,
At the smugness of the old peeves.
For, unbeknownst to the crowned heads,
Since their meeting, and all along,
Full of longing, deep in their chests,
Each heart to the other belonged.
–
On the princess’ thirteenth winter,
The gates to adulthood for her,
Vows were exchange, in festive mood,
A nice marriage, all well and good.
But life couldn’t be so easy,
Never do trust a prophecy…
For Chaos tops all the bastards,
Peace forever? Wake up retards!
A dark chamber, blood stains on bed,
Virgin’s first night… What d’ya expect?
But of the bride none could be found,
While dumb husband strolled in dreamland.
In castle nights, only torch-lit,
Even the guards were uneasy,
Yet this one was more than a bit,
A new recruit, his name “Lucky”.
–
Having parents uninspired,
Maybe it was what backfired,
For Irony, this fated night,
On the poor kid, had set His sight.
Calm should have been his first patrol,
But he crossed path with the bride’s stroll.
Now before him sat the princess.
Madly sexy, in her night dress.
Still the boy’s rod remained flaccid,
Which was quite strange for a male kid,
Not that he held some handicaps…
The dead maid next to her perhaps?
The palace girl too looked caught short,
Grasped from behind… a hug of sort?
However she didn’t protest…
Was it her heart, ripped from her chest?
And the princess, should be said first,
Had in the maid, her fangs sunken.
What an odd way to quench your thirst…
Maybe too far was the kitchen?
–
Gone was the mane as dark as night,
Replaced by threads of bony white.
Gone deep blue eyes, sparking in joy,
Drowned in blood red of Hell’s envoy.
Scared by the scene, the newbie guard,
Staggered backwards, and fell quite hard.
Now he had the beast’s attention.
…
Hope you made your prayers, moron.
But thankfully, against all odds,
Or by the will of some bored gods,
As the lad, in stunned fright, relapsed,
The full dame, on the ground, collapsed.
Cursing his name, seeing the mess,
Lucky felt tears flow down his cheek,
A dead maid and a cursed princess,
What fucked-up way to start a week…
–
Once upon a time, in a forgotten land,
There was a king, and a queen, and their accursed child,
The Princess of the Blood, shame to the lineage,
For misfortune she brought, right after marriage.
But the country ignored these facts,
Swiftly hidden by the monarchs,
Truth was buried, with the bodies,
Of a maid and a guard newbies.
Struck by a plague, their poor daughter,
Was sent away during the night,
Away until she got better,
They fooled them all, all but her knight.
–
Well, truth be told, every idiot,
Which probably the man was not,
Would have thought something wasn’t right.
Since when was plague caught overnight?
As her husband, he was damn sure,
Given her cute screams of pleasure,
His bride clearly hadn’t been sick,
Under the pounding of his d***.
However his claims were denied,
By the royals clad in their pride.
Consort he was, but yet not crowned,
And as a knight, his life they owned.
Since when it rained, it always poured,
The whole kingdom steadily soured,
And peace reached closer to breakup,
As old demons slowly woke up.
Terrified by the strong youngster,
His own prowess, his ancestry,
The king sent him fight some monster,
In the mountain with his army.
–
More like a curse than dumb bad luck,
Wave after wave, disaster struck,
Worse than ever in the known past,
And before long, ten years had passed.
Having fought trolls and the undead,
Giant hydras with dozen heads,
The prince consort, hero godsend,
Wanted answers, his patience spent.
For the first time in ten winters,
He stood before the two rulers,
Power and rage bursting from him,
He looked as strong as he looked grim.
The king and queen, shrinking in fear,
Wetting their oh so royal pants,
Then spilled the beans for all to hear,
And the knight killed them by his hands.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
–
Hidden fortress, from tales untold,
Vestige of king Erwyn the Old,
A high room in a tall tower,
That was the place they chose for her.
For days he rode, his love in mind,
Her long black hair, her face so kind,
Her deep blue eyes, her smile so bright,
Her skin, her breasts… Her shy ‘that’ night.
This was a lie! An imposture!
His wife, a beast?! A girl so pure?
What god was behind this madness?
Although I sure can place a guess…
Now before him stood a green mount,
And under him died his worn mount.
True that rhyme is fucking lazy.
What do you care?! It’s my story.
Behind the thick emerald wall,
A wrung castle, like child doodles,
In a valley shaped as a bowl…
Now I’m hungry for some noodles.
–
Reaching the keep… was damn easy.
WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!! … I mean “really?”
No mad monster? No killer spell?
This girl’s prison, a gilded cell?
I’m so pissed off, you freakin’ knight!
Do you know what I had to fight?!
Goblins, bonies, undead legion!
Two dullahans, and a DRAGON!!
Well, that last one was kinda my fault but
And Mister takes his own sweet pace,
Tired but groomed, barely sweaty,
STROLLING IN LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE!!!
YOU FUC but I digress. Sorry.
–
A warm bedroom, all blue and red,
The two lovers, at last they met.
And for them then, raised the curtain,
On a last act, of death and pain.
Shattered hopes, and crude dismay,
Her dark nature on full display,
White hair and skin, foreign to life,
Undead demon, no more his wife.
Vampire! He knew the name and looks.
Old families meant some old books.
His own being ancient indeed,
Forbidden tomes were his night-read.
Crumbling parchments on the dark arts,
Necrotic spells he learnt by heart.
Of House Corbin he was the head,
And their trade was… yes, the undead.
Endless torture, tormented soul,
For a raised corpse, death is mercy.
He bound his love, fulfilled his role,
He raised his sword to set her free.
–
Years of longing, alone and scared,
A life so void she barely cared,
To quench her thirst, a magic cup,
Battling demons, not giving up.
For she was sure, one day he’d come,
Her loved husband, strong and handsome.
For him she fought, day after day,
Keeping madness, chaos at bay.
Between nightmares, he would appear,
Guarding her sleep, honest and dear.
He was her sun in endless night,
Her champion, her hero… her knight.
And there he stood. Was it a dream?
If it was one, let it not fade.
She stepped forwards, began to beam,
Only to halt, pierced by his blade.
–
Anguish, shock, dread, a bleeding heart.
Double meaning in that regard…
How could it be, like this to die?
To the traitor, one lone word: “Why?”
Hearing her voice, so clear and pained,
Proof that her soul was yet not stained,
The knight’s conscience filled with horror,
At the deepness of his error.
moron
He came to see that his own mind,
Through war had been warped and made blind,
To face death had made himself steel,
His heart forgot how love to feel.
Fatal mistake, insane remorse,
Then a voice rose, hateful and hoarse:
“Dad, you, all men… you’re all the same,
My knight, my Love, I CURSE YOUR NAME!!”
On her doll face, no more stupor,
Unbound madness devouring her.
Wrenched and broken, down to her core,
Her darkened soul took her lover.
–
Once upon a time, in a forgotten land,
There was Ambrose, Victoria, but no hope of child,
No monster, no demon, but a dreadful curse,
From man to man it passed, what used to be hers.
This is the tale of a sad fate,
Budded in love, shrivelled in hate,
Tale of a rose, with thorns on it,
Tale of gardeners and of bullshit.
Because, you know, what’s the moral?
Don’t be stupid, don’t stab you pal?
Don’t lock your daughter in her room,
Without telling shit to her groom?
And come on dude, no healing spell?
You were a mage, so what the hell?!
Healing magic kills dark beings?
YOU’RE HALF NECRO!! WORK UP THOSE THINGS!!!
FUCKING MORON!! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!
BEFORE THE KILL, CHECK IF SHE’S SANE!!!
COME CLOSER, TAKE MY LIGHTNING BOLT!!
FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WHERE WAS YOUR BRAIN?!?!
– *** –
*slam*
A red book flew through the room, hit a wall and fell on the carpeted ground, quickly followed by other fat tomes filled with various handwritings.
“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! EVEN LIKE THIS IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!!”
Standing next to a writing desk and a knocked down chair, an out-of-breath beautiful poet in mismatched clothes was tearing her hair out.
“THIS IS FUCKED UP! Who wrote this script?!
Cliché, boring! AH! SO STUPID!
And stop rhyming GB Princess!!
… Oh, for fuck’s sake… what a damn mess…”
– ***** –
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Sweet rhyming Jesus! Writing like that is idiotically difficult… especially in a language that’s not your own…. God. Why did I even do that? And now my brain is stuck… I’ll go listen to some yodel. It might unstuck it. Back in a sec…
.
.
.
It did… But now something else is stuck… What am I doing with my life?
Anyway, see you next chapter and thanks for reading.
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