So.
Yesterday I was looking for some advice. About a few things here and there. Reading some responses of some similar posts from others.
Ended up with them just saying to rewrite everything. If your idea is good but it's too troublesome to get there due to some issues then cut back on a lot of it to make it more refined in the future.
To be honest I'm a bit warry but I can see from the get-go how my start was repetitive and a bit rocky.
Even now some issues have gotten my attention.
There is that, but also I don't need to be posting back to back so often with a small word count. It suffers a lot of wording and grammar errors because of it. It'll probably be better to post less but have a better quality story inside every post.
Make the whole thing meaningful instead of some examples of jumping around everywhere on each chapter. Some chapters jump so much it's hard to keep track apparently. It's not bad to jump, but the rhythm of the story must makes sense for it to happen.
And lastly I suppose I should address the elephant in the room.
They commented that the water elemental seem like a passerby that felt out of place. Only getting carried along for some outrageous reasons. Not any real reason with a real goal.
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The systems idea of many is interesting and the fact they are having a tendency of being evil is great because apparently they didn't like the systems either. But the fact that the system wants to terraform and is making the gem do a lot of things when it would otherwise just stay silent seemed out of place. It would have been better if there was build up that led to that reasoning instead of just being told it and accepting the fact.
And finally...the gem itself.
Apparently they understood, they get it the gem is great. But having it repeatedly smashed into your face over and over gets old. And not much change is happening and what did change seemed to have happened out of nowhere. But ultimately the major flaw is how the gem seems helpless with everything and yet is said to have the greatest potential power.
Just doesn't make sense.
The comedy is good, but it gets old and repetitive really quickly. It would have been better to spread it out and have a few jokes here and there every several chapters.
A review I had said something similar. Although harsh, it was the truth.
I don't know, most of what I've been doing so far was just typing right at the moment, I have a few goals in my mind of where the story should go but other than that everything is just pure imagination right at that moment.
Also most of my time is on my phone because I'm on the go, usually I would just use voice-to-text and post it. When I have time to check I'll go back and correct some things.
So yeah, you could say this is it.
I will be returning to type a better story on my first one 'The Sworn' since it's just sitting there. Why not bring it back to life.
Anyways.
I enjoyed what I've done so far, but I think it's time for me to take a step back.
I don't know if you feel the same.