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Brothers.
5~ Quicksand

5~ Quicksand

Tommy

“Shirley, for the last time, I didn’t want her at school. It just happened, okay?”

“There’s gotta be something you can do,” she replied.

I sighed, lowering my phone for just a moment as I paced around, my stress level rising to new heights. I took a deep breath and raised my phone to my ear again. “What do you expect me to do? Tie her to her chair and lock her in her room before I get on the bus?”

“Just scare her out of going to school.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, like it’s that easy.”

“How is that not easy? In what universe does someone actually want to go to school? Just the thought of school makes me feel like throwing up.” She gagged. “I thought about it.”

I sighed, finally crashing onto Harry’s bed. The tension in my shoulders built up, bunching their muscles enough to give me my own personal shoulder pads.

“What made her want to go to school in the first place?” Shirley asked. “I thought you said she didn’t like it.”

“I…” I sighed again, massaging the bridge of my nose. “It was all Harry’s fault.” I paused, my pride pushing its way up my throat as I forcefully swallowed it down. “And… I guess mine, too.”

“Would you get to the point?”

“Mom asked her if she wanted to go to school. She said no. And she was going to go online, but we…”

“You… what?” she asked.

I bit my lip, ready for her rant. “Later on, we told her to get some chips, and she said no, so Kyle made Harry and I go instead-”

“Point.”

“Okay, long story short, Harry poured soda over her head and she decided to go to school with us.”

A pause. “You poured soda over her head?”

“Well, she didn’t bring us chips, so I thought-”

“Oh, un-be-lie-vable!”

I sighed for the third time and waited as she went on and on about how idiotic we were and about the consequences of Diana going to Summit High with us.

She loved repeating herself over and over and over…

At the end of the stream of curses and insults directed at me and my brothers, peppered with colorful names like ‘idiot’, ‘moron’, ‘brainless’, and ‘dolt’, I was finally allowed to speak.

“Are you done?”

“Obviously,” she sighed, sounding exhausted.

“Okay, look, maybe she’ll change her mind. It was spur-of-the-moment. When it’s almost time for school to start, most likely she’ll back out and go online. So… let’s just hope.”

“Just tell her why you don’t want her to go.”

“It’ll just egg her on. It’s all out of spite, Shirley.”

“No, tell her the actual reason. Tell her about-”

I glanced out the door before speaking. “I’m not saying anything about Amy,” I whispered.

“Why not?!”

“Shirley, it’s not as easy as you think to broach a subject like that!”

“Eventually, she’s going to find out. Might as well,” Shirley said insensitively.

“No, I’m not-”

“UGH!” I leaned the phone away from my ear, wincing.

“Why do you always have to make everything so complicated?! Amy’s gone, so move on! Tell her before it gets worse!”

I clenched my jaw, pushing down my anger. “I’m not saying anything. It’s… it’s none of her business,” I said through gritted teeth. “She’s leaving in six months, anyway.” I didn’t want to go off on her. Sure, she did the same, but she was just a bit annoying and loud. Whenever I went off on her, she’d burst into tears. I didn’t want to scare her like that.

But I really wished she could be more sympathetic about Amy. My God, hardly four months had passed since she died, and Shirley already expected me to just ‘get over it already’. As she would say, it wasn’t like we got along much, anyway.

In part, she was right. My— our— relationship with Amy had been tense in recent years, but that didn’t mean we didn’t love her. She was still our baby sister.

“Six months is perfectly enough for everyone at school to ruin our lives over this, Tommy. And she might even stay longer! It’s gonna screw everything up for us.”

“Oh, please, Shirley, this’ll hardly involve you. The ones who’ll suffer are me and Harry, and you know it.”

“Excuse me?! I’m your girlfriend, remember? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle being with you if people are saying so many things.” As I feared, she started to cry. “I-it’s not fair. You know I do a lot for you, right? I take damage when I’m with you, and I willingly take it because I love you. So many girls hate me because you picked me out of so many options…”

I sighed. I hated when she cried like this.

“We already have so little time together because of this… ghost twin foster rat. I don’t want everyone at school to drive a bigger wedge between us. Don’t let that happen. I can’t live without you.”

‘Ghost twin foster rat’? That was… new.

“Okay. I… I’m sorry, Shirley. I love you, too, and I don’t want you suffering because of all this. I’ll… I’ll talk to her, okay? I’ll try to convince her.” Jack walked past my door as I spoke, stopping short and peeking inside.

She sniffled. “Okay. Love you, Tommy-bear.”

I winced. Thank God Jack couldn’t hear that. “I love you, too. Bye.”

“Wait,” she whined. “I called you Tommy-bear.”

I hesitated, glancing at Jack, who smirked as he leaned on my doorframe. I glared at him and covered my mouth as I whispered in the microphone.

“Love you, Shirl-bear.”

“What? I didn’t hear that.”

I sighed with dread, glancing at my older brother again. I seriously felt like punching him so I wouldn’t see that stupid smile of his, but it would probably fail. I never got to land a good blow on him.

Amy did, though…

“I love you… Shirl-bear,” I forced out.

Jack snorted.

“Bye!” Shirley hung up.

When I put my phone down, Jack burst out laughing. “Shirl-bear?!” He leaned on the door and slid down to the floor, clutching his stomach.

“Would you stop? It’s not like you and Amelia are any better.”

“What do you mean?”

I raised a brow. “‘I love you, babe’, ‘I love you more, babe’, ‘You’re the best boyfriend in the world, Jackie’, ‘You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, Ameli-baby’.” I gagged and made faces.

Jack chuckled and stepped further inside. “It’s still better than Shirl-bear.”

Stolen story; please report.

“No, it’s not. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I heard you arguing with Shirley, so I wanted to see what the hot gossip was about.”

“I wasn’t arguing with-”

“Tom, I know when you guys are fighting.”

I glared at him and pretended to look at my phone. He frowned at me, his arms crossing. He had that knit between his brows. He always frowned like that about Shirley. “Did you come in here just to stare?” I said.

“Tom… listen, I know you don’t want to hear this.” He approached me. “But when I heard you talking to her, I couldn’t help but notice a little… pattern.”

“What pattern?” I frowned.

“She seems to expect you to… I don’t know, solve everything. Like right now. She wanted you to force stop Diana from going to school. I mean… you could try and convince her, but like you said, it won’t do anything.”

“You really like eavesdropping on my conversations, don’t you?”

“You raise your voice when you talk to her,” he remarked. “She just tends to be really demanding, that’s all. And really, what is she so worried about? Diana being in school won’t affect her.”

“Well, it might. She’s dating me,” I pointed out.

“Still, people won’t be focusing on her. All she has to do is distance herself and that’s it. Everyone will be focusing on you… well, all of us.”

I huffed and stood, distancing myself from him. “Stop telling me something I already know! I know all this, okay?! Everyone at school will be talking about me, about Harry, everyone. Everyone.” I held up my phone. “You don’t want Shirley blaming me or name-calling me? You think she’s so demanding?” I tossed it to him. “Fine. You tell her. Tell her you’ll do something about it. That way, she can stop being so ‘demanding’ towards me.”

I slumped back in my bed. Jack picked up my phone. For a couple moments, we were silent.

“Okay, you know what, never mind.” He tossed the phone back to me. “I wanted to have a calm conversation, but I guess that’s not gonna happen.” He turned to leave.

“No, you just came in here to bug me. Like you always have.”

“I just wanted to-”

“Forget it.” I returned to my phone.

He stared at me for a few more moments before leaving. My eyes lingered on the ceiling for a while, my sister’s face swirling in my mind. I got off my bed and looked down the hall at Amy’s room.

Amy’s room. Not Diana’s.

If she didn’t change her mind… if she went to school with us… we’d have to do our best to make her leave.

~~~

Kyle

Jack stormed into the room, throwing himself onto his bed. He picked up his phone and texted someone.

“How’d it go?” I asked as I scrolled through my computer.

“How do you think it went?”

“So they were arguing?”

“Yeah, and then we argued. I told you. He’s never in a good mood when he talks to Shirley, and he’s stressed about Diana, too.”

“She hasn’t changed her mind at all?”

“Nope.” Jack shook his head.

I sighed stressfully, massaging the back of my neck. “Well, the more we wait-”

“Shh. Gimme a sec.” He raised his phone to his mouth. “No, he didn’t want to talk about Shirley. She’s on him about Diana. I guess we’re going to have to convince her ourselves not to go.”

“Who’s that?”

“Amelia.”

“Alright, we have a few minutes before work, so let’s just talk to her.” I put my computer to sleep and rose from my chair, stretching. “Maybe if we approach her nicely, she’ll consider not going.”

He rolled his eyes, but got up anyway, and we headed to the room. Tentatively, I knocked. She didn’t answer at first.

“Diana, you in there?”

A thump. Then a drawer closing.

“Listen, um… could we talk to you? Just for a bit? Please?”

Still no answer.

“We can hear you. Please, we’re not coming to bug you. This is serious,” Jack said.

A sigh. The doorknob rattled and she revealed herself. “What do you want?”

“Um…” I glanced at Jack awkwardly. “Could we come in?”

She gave us a confused look, then shrugged and stepped aside. We looked around her room as we moved to sit on her bed; we hadn’t seen what she’d done with the place.

It was weird seeing it so clean and neat. Everything was organized and placed in proper order. A complete contrast to Amy’s style; messy with piles of papers, stuffed animals, and art supplies everywhere. Even our rooms were 10 times neater than usual because of Diana. How did she learn to clean so well?

I pushed down the rising guilt as she sat at her desk, writing in a notebook. “What did you want?” she asked flatly.

We glanced at each other. I held up my hands and nodded at Jack to continue. I’d gotten us in the room; it was his turn to contribute. “Uh, well, we… we were wondering… about you going to school.”

She sighed. “For the last time, I’m not changing my mind.”

“Diana, there’s other schools you can go to. It’s not like-”

“I saw the other schools. Not interested. And I don’t want to go alone.”

“Are you sure that’s it?” I asked.

“Why should you care?”

“Well, we care because… because of the effects that’ll… how you’ll…” Jack sighed, looking at me pleadingly.

I rolled my eyes and continued. “We’re worried that this might affect them a bit… negatively.”

“How?” She turned in her chair, glaring at us. “They’re embarrassed, right?” She scoffed. “Join the club.”

“Not exactly embarrassed.” How would I explain this without telling her the truth? That wasn’t an option.

“Then what? What’s the big deal?”

“Well, Diana, we’ve seen your file,” I pointed out. “Are you sure you want to go to school after all that’s happened? You could get expelled again.”

“That was when I was younger. I know how to control myself better now.” She turned back to her notebook. “It’s not going to be as bad as before. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I wouldn’t be too confident. I mean, people might-”

“People can go suck an egg.” She shifted in her seat as she spoke, playing with her hair.

“But you were fine with going online before. Did you really change your mind just because Harry poured soda on your head?” I said.

She turned to face us again. “No, of course not. I was already thinking about it. It seemed… I don’t know, more interesting than I initially thought. There’s classes I want to take, things I want to do. I might as well make the most out of it if I’m only staying here for six months. Supposedly.” She wrung her hands together, massaging her forearms.

I narrowed my eyes. She seemed really… tense? I wasn’t sure.

Once again, she turned back to her book. “It’s great that you’re looking out for your little brothers and everything, but I’m still going to school. I could walk instead of getting on the bus, or pretend I don’t know them, or do whatever so I won’t embarrass them, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s simple.”

I looked at Jack with dread. Considering lots of Summit alumni went to Greenfield U, we would be almost as affected.

“Are you done?”

I sighed. “Yeah, forget it.” I left in a flash. Jack followed, closing the door.

Honestly, she would regret it. People at their school weren’t going to be welcoming towards her when they saw her. What would they say? About us, about our parents?

Amy, please… I need you…

When we got to work later in the evening, I was more stressed than ever. I didn’t realize how angry I looked as I walked up to the desk Nicole and I managed every evening.

“Who spit in your coffee this morning?” Nicole quipped as she wiped down the surface. “Was it Jack?”

“Diana,” I said shortly, adjusting the ID badge around my neck.

Nicole raised her brows. “Diana spit in your coffee?”

“No.” I sighed. “We were trying to convince her not to go to school, but she’s not giving in. She wants to go, and we can’t stop her.”

A customer approached the desk, forcing us to briefly pause our conversation. Nicole instantly put on a smile, which made my knees melt. I loved her smile. “Welcome to Electrocubic! How may we help you?” she greeted.

“I’m looking for a game for my son… I looked in your videogame section, but I don’t see it. Any chance it’s in stock?”

“What’s the name of the game?”

“Um…” He took his phone out of his pocket. “Evoline: The Empire of Daemons.”

“Okay, I’ll search it up right now, sir.” She turned to the computer.

“What should I do?” I asked, continuing our conversation. “It’s not like I can force her to stay home or anything.”

“I don’t know, Ky.” She shook her head. “I guess… you have no choice but to deal with it.” She turned back to the customer and finished helping him.

“You think you can talk to her somehow?” I tentatively asked.

“Me? What can I do?”

“I don’t know. You have a way with people.”

“Have a good day, sir.” She looked at me. “Kyle, I hardly know Diana. I doubt she’ll listen to her foster brother’s girlfriend. She’s only seen me once.”

“She might like you better.”

She sighed. “She’s going to keep making decisions like this just to ruin your lives because you guys are nasty to her. My advice? Stop being nasty to her.”

I scratched my nape, the guilt rising again. “It’s not that I want to be nasty…” I could feel myself turning red in shame. “It’s just… our parents changed. But we can’t say anything to them. It’s not fair. It’s… it’s sick. God, how did they get so crazy? I love them, but… why did they have to do this?” I clutched my head.

“She doesn’t know that. It’s not her fault.”

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to… you know.”

Nicole nodded understandingly. “Yeah. I know.”

Another customer approached the desk. “Excuse me, where can I find SD cards?” she asked.

“In that section over there, by the televisions.” Nicole pointed.

“Thank you.” The woman left.

“Honestly, this all feels like a dream,” I said to Nicole, echoing my past thoughts. “Maybe I just fell into some nightmare after Amy passed. Maybe it was too much.”

“If that’s true, then I guess we’re so in love that we wound up having the same dream,” Nicole joked dryly.

I gave her a half-smirk. There was a long stretch of silence.

“I don’t understand.” My mouth opened to continue, but my voice stuck in my throat. I took a few moments, trying to find the correct words. “Is this… like a punishment? Is God punishing us for… being so horrible to Amy? Were… were we that bad?” My voice shook and I swallowed. My throat painfully tightened.

Nicole gazed at me. “Kyle, you loved her. We all did. And she knew that.”

“Yeah, we loved her, but we didn’t show it. We were so mean… and we still haven’t changed.”

“Kyle…”

I could feel my eyes watering. “I know there’s a lot I’m doing wrong. But am I doing that much wrong? To deserve this?”

As a third customer approached, I quickly hid my teary eyes away, breathing deeply and wiping them discreetly. I wished we could’ve taken the day off. It was hard not to break down while trying to be friendly to every single customer…

“Welcome to Electrocubic,” Nicole greeted.

“Where are your wireless earbuds?” the man asked.

“They should be right there, to your left.” Nicole pointed at the adjacent section.

“Nic… I feel like I’m in quicksand,” I continued. “Everything’s crashing down around me, sinking deeper and deeper… there’s just no way out. I can’t call for help, I can’t pull myself out.”

She approached me and took my by the shoulders, pressing her forehead to mine. “Kyle… I know this is hard for you. It’s hard on all of us. I wish I could help you somehow, or come up with some bright idea. But if it’s quicksand we’re stuck in, then all we can do is stay still and hope we don’t sink any deeper. Because the more you fight it, the more it’ll pull you down.”

I only stared at her hopelessly. The anxiety was overwhelming.

“I don’t know what’s going on, either. I guess the best we can do is hold hands, lean back, and… try to relax.”

I nodded, sniffling. She reached up and wiped a stray tear from my cheek.

“We’re in this together, okay?” she whispered.

I nodded again. She reached up and kissed me softly on the lips. We sunk into the moment for just a few seconds before parting. We needed to get back into ‘work mode’. While we were here, the customers were our priority.

What would I do without her?