Tommy

December 17th, 2023

Coming back from our weekend trip, I had to face my problems again. I wished our getaway could’ve lasted longer. It was evening already, and while I wanted to rest after such a long trip home, I couldn’t delay this further.

Shirley finally agreed to meet me at our usual restaurant for a talk. It had almost been a month since I told her we ‘needed to talk’, and she’d avoided me as much as possible. At school, in the neighborhood, everywhere. It felt weird not having her text me every second, wondering where I was, or who I was with. It was pretty liberating, to say the least.

I checked my phone. 6:40. She was ten minutes late. I sighed impatiently. I should’ve known she wouldn’t come. I should’ve broken up with her over text.

I bit into my hamburger. I couldn’t remember the last time I really enjoyed a hamburger. Shirley always soured my meal with her diet speeches. Just as I debated whether to leave, rapid footsteps approached me, stopping at my table.

Shirley panted, slumping in her seat. “You won’t believe what just happened to me!” She eyed the hamburger I was eating, glancing at the empty space in her place. “You didn’t order anything for me?”

I didn’t answer, taking another bite.

“Ugh. Whatever.” She waved her hand for a waiter and ordered a chicken sandwich with a large iced tea. She shivered and rubbed her mittened hands together when he left. “Why did you get a table outside? It’s freezing out here.”

I still didn’t respond.

She scoffed. “Okay. You want to talk about… us, right? This better be worth it. ‘We need to talk’? Overused much?”

I sighed and put down my burger, wiping my mouth with my napkin.

“Oh-my-God, I told you millions of times, Tommy. That kind of burger isn’t good for you. You’re better off with chicken, like me. If you don’t want a huge potbelly jiggling when you’re playing-”

“All right. Let’s talk,” I cut her off.

“Fine. Let’s talk.” She leaned forward. “I’m guessing I did something wrong? I don’t remember anything, but go ahead and give me your POV.”

“Let me refresh your memory, then. You talked trash about Diana after what they did to her in the locker room, and you actually agreed to literal torture.”

“I didn’t agree with anything.”

“You said, and I quote, ‘that’s what she gets’. Just… why?” I said.

“Why? She wandered in there.”

“Uh, no, she didn’t. They dragged her in there. By force.”

“Doreen told me she went into-”

“Doreen? You’re going to believe a hack like Doreen?”

Shirley scoffed. “Don’t insult my friends like that.”

“If she’s the type to torture a girl she doesn’t even know for no reason, then I’ll insult her all I want.”

“Okay- fine.” She smacked her hand on the table. “I said it was mean! I admitted it, okay?”

“Yeah, then you were all, ‘she wanted to come back to school, so she deserved it’.”

“I never said she deserved it. I just thought it was stupid that she came back to school knowing how much everyone hated her. And then she tried to kill herself. Like, duh. People weren’t gonna want her back. Lucas was just kidding, anyway.”

“You see? You’re giving more and more reasons for me to end it,” I pointed out.

“Oh, what? Telling you the obvious?”

“‘Lucas was just kidding’? What kind of mentality is that?”

“Don’t play innocent, Tommy,” she retorted. “Just last year, you guys were throwing all your new teammates in the hallway, in their underwear. And you and your brothers always did messed-up stuff to Amy. Don’t try to play the saint now.”

A long stretch of silence played out between us. I couldn’t refute her words. With the team, I’d always join the guys in hazing the new ones. I was scared that they’d do the same to me, or Harry, if I didn’t agree.

But with Amy… she was right. We would always play pranks or call her names, thinking we were joking, but we were hurting her, picking at her self-esteem bit-by-bit. She would cry and outright tell us we were bullying her, but we would laugh it off and call her a crybaby. We were making her life hell. That was why she ran away.

That was why God took her from us.

“Hypocrite much?” Shirley said, sipping her iced tea.

Her words brought me back to reality, making my temper flare. “You don’t know Diana. You don’t know what she’s been through. And if you still think something like that is funny, then you’ve got a screw loose.”

“I’m just saying Lucas made it sound funny. When I watched the video, I realized it wasn’t,” she reasoned.

“Why the heck were you talking to Lucas?”

“We’re friends.”

“Since when?”

“Who cares? You’re his friend.”

“No,” I said sharply, “I’m not. You know I don’t like him. We’re just on the same team.”

“What do you care about the team? You’re not going to college.”

“The point is, I don’t like that you’re talking to him.”

“Oh, says the guy that has a bunch of side chicks he’s hiding from me?”

Unexpectedly, I burst out laughing. Her jealousy had reached delusional status. I was guilty of looking at those links, but I’d actually worked on stopping the habit. This girl was talking to my worst enemy behind my back.

“What’s so funny?” she snapped.

“Nothing. I’m just going to end it here. This is pointless.”

“Yeah. Go to your side chicks.”

“I don’t have any side chicks,” I said sharply. “Never did, never will. I’m sorry about the links, but I’ve been working on improving myself. Not that you’d do the same.”

“If there’s one thing I’ll thank that foster freak for, it’s that prank she pulled. Who knows how long you would’ve gone on without telling me the truth?” She held her iced tea in her hand, gesturing with it before taking another sip.

“Will you stop calling her stuff like that?!” My voice started rising, and I noticed some other people looking our way.

“Stuff like what?”

“That! ‘Foster freak’, ‘ghost girl’- that’s enough! Why do you hate her so much?”

“You hated her, too.” She ate her sandwich.

“We didn’t hate her.”

“So now she’s your sister? You’re letting her replace Amy?”

“She’s not replacing anyone. She’s Diana. Amy is Amy. And Diana needs a home. She…” I choked on a sob, my emotions spilling out. “She doesn’t deserve… to think the way she does. Always blaming herself for everything. She thought she was making our lives better by killing herself. Do you realize how that made us feel? None of this… she didn’t ask for any of this.”

Shirley’s face crossed with a tinge of sympathy, but it wasn’t enough to change my mind about cutting her out. I should’ve listened to Amy. I should’ve listened to my family. I should’ve realized that she was draining me. Why didn’t I listen to something so obvious?!

She gave me one taste, and I was hooked. She baited me, convincing me she was the only way to what I wanted, that she’d give me another taste again… someday. She never did.

“Tommy.” She took my hand. “Listen. I get it. You’re a great person, you care about other people… the problem is, people like you get screwed over a lot. I know girls like Diana. They’re really sneaky. They make you feel like this just so they can get attention. I know the type, well. I’ve had experience. It’s not worth it.”

I stared at her. She was set in that mentality. Nothing would change it. That ignorance wouldn’t go away, no matter how clear the reality was to her. Her past would always cloud her present.

“You don’t get it,” I realized. I sighed, looking at my unfinished hamburger I no longer wanted to eat. “I hope you have a good life, Shirley.” I moved to stand.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

She quickly stood, stopping me. “Wait. Just wait.” Her jaw trembled. “I’m sorry if you don’t want to accept it, okay? I’m just trying to help. I’m being supportive-”

“You’re not supportive. I need someone who is.”

“When have I not been supportive?!” she challenged.

“With Amy. Whenever I needed to talk to you, you were ‘busy’. Then I would see you posting memes on Familiar. And whenever you wanted to talk, I needed to drop everything and answer you, no matter what I was doing. It’s always been like that.”

“That’s not-”

“I’m not finished. With Diana, you just trashed her from the very beginning. Some things you said didn’t even have to do with her. But they had to do with Amy.”

“You trashed Diana, too!” she protested.

“No, we were just bothered because of her and Amy. You started talking about how ugly she was, or how weird. She looks just like Amy, remember?”

“She doesn’t look exactly like Amy.”

“Look, you’ve already heard me out, and now you know why I want to break up with you.”

“If I was so horrible, why didn’t you break up with me sooner, then?” she snapped. “Was it because of that one night together?”

I hesitated. “Partly, yeah,” I admitted.

“Partly? What does that mean?” She scoffed. “You’re just a typical man, aren’t you? That’s all you want.”

“That’s not it.”

“Then what?”

I stared at her, thinking hard about my answer. She raised her blond brows at me.

“Because I kept looking at the good side of you,” I said. “You’re smart, beautiful, witty, strong. You stand up for yourself when you have to. I wanted to give that a chance. It wasn’t just because of that night. I don’t want you to think I only wanted to sleep with you and nothing else.”

Her blue eyes filled with tears. The sight broke my heart, but I had to do this.

“And… I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for all of this. It’s been a difficult time for me and my family.” I took out my wallet, sifting through the dollar bills. “It’s better for both of us if we go our separate ways.” I left a 20-dollar bill.

“No, wait.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “Please… Tommy, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I did… all that. I’ll change, I promise.”

“I know you will.”

“Please, give me another chance.” Her voice cracked.

I swallowed down my own lump of tears. “I’ve run out, Shirley. I’m sorry. I hope you find someone else that makes you happy.” Reluctantly, I left her.

“Tommy, please. Tommy!” I heard her following me, but I didn’t look back. I took out my phone and texted Kyle and Nicole, who were waiting for me to finish.

A napkin hit my back, followed by another. “I’m talking to you!”

I sighed and looked at Shirley, whose face was now tear-stained, mascara dripping down her cheeks. “Look, let’s talk about this. I’ll stop trash-talking Diana, I’m sorry about that,” she begged.

My phone pinged. Well b right over.

“Please, give me another chance! I promise I won’t talk to Lucas anymore! I swear, he’s just… he’s nothing!” She grabbed my arm, hugging my side and pressing her head on my shoulder.

“Shirley, please, stop”. I gently pried her off. “Don’t embarrass yourself like this, please. And don’t think this doesn’t hurt me, too.” My phone buzzed. Coming around the corner. I looked down the street and saw Nicole’s car down the road. “Goodbye, Shirley.” I kissed her cheek.

Her shoulders sank. She watched hopelessly as I got in the car with my brother and Nicole. I sat in the back seat and watched her figure get farther and farther through the window until she disappeared.

I let out a shaky sigh as tears pricked my eyes. This hurt a lot more than I expected. I thought the anger would cushion the blow, but my heart was softer than I thought.

“You okay?” Nicole glanced through the rearview mirror at me with concern.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, Tom,” said Kyle.

“No, it was a long time coming.” A pause. I rubbed my forehead. “You think she’ll… do something crazy at school tomorrow?”

“I doubt it. But if she does, you’ve got us. Don’t worry.”

I nodded and leaned into my seat. I felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. Like I was set free after being locked up in chains for the longest time. Amy would’ve been proud of me, I hoped.

“I wish I could’ve broken it off sooner.”

“It’s a toxic relationship, Tommy. It’s like being stuck in quicksand,” said Nicole, glancing back at me. “We’ve all had people like that in our lives.”

I smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. “I wasn’t that good to her, though. I shouldn’t have been looking at that stuff. I’ve stopped so far, but… I get really tempted.”

They glanced at each other. “Well, you cut her out of your life. That’s a start. Now cut out the rest of the poison,” said Kyle.

“I try. I do, it’s just… so hard.” I looked out the window.

He turned in his seat to look at me. “Tom. You like music, don’t you?”

“I love it.”

He nodded. “Focus on that. You haven’t played or sung in months. It’ll help you. You’ll get past it, I know it.” He reached towards me, stretching his hand out.

I smiled and fist-bumped him. Music. That was a good alternative. Just like old times.

~~~

Jack

Winter break was here, but instead of relaxing, I had homework to do. I wished we’d done our ‘Snow Day’ this week, but it was more expensive, so I had to take a couple days off school.

Thankfully, it wasn’t too much, considering the first semester was practically over. I just needed to hand in my final project online and do my final test for two courses, which were due this week, so I wasn’t behind. The only make-up work I had was listening to the lectures I missed— which my friend recorded for me— and writing down info that could be on the exams.

Afterwards, Kyle helped me study by asking me questions. I was confident about my Math and CPR courses, being pretty easy for me. My Human Development course was a bit more difficult, but interesting. My Nutrition course was the hardest. It was hard for me to memorize a lot of the facts and statistics.

“Approximately how much sodium does the average American consume every day?” Kyle read from his computer, crunching a potato chip between his teeth.

I took a few moments to think. “2,000 milligrams.”

Kyle opened the answer. “On average, 3,400 milligrams of sodium.”

I groaned. “I was close.”

“1,400 off? That ain’t close.”

“Shut up. Next question.”

“What vitamin do pregnant women need to decrease the incidence of neurological disorders?”

“Folic acid,” I answered instantly.

“Good job.” He tossed me a potato chip, which I caught in my mouth, laughing.

“What, you giving me treats?” I said.

Kyle took another chip and held it above me. “Who’s a good boy? Who got the question right? You want a chip? Huh?”

I smacked his hand. “Stop that. I’m not Lonnie.” My phone buzzed. Out of habit, I checked it.

Imtotallysamueljackson (Sam Reynolds): yo jack

“Hey. Focus.”

“Sorry.” I put my phone away, feeling it vibrate in my pocket.

“AED pads can be used for children at what age?”

I paused. “Puberty.”

“Correct.” Kyle took another chip. “Good boy!”

“Shut up.” I kicked him in the stomach— not too hard, but hard enough. He groaned as I snatched the chip from his fingers and ate it.

“Kyle! Could you come over here, please?” Mom called.

“Coming!” He stood. “Be right back.”

When he left, I quickly took my phone out.

Imtotallysamueljackson: guess what

Sigma taus having a party

And we can bring gests

U wanna come?

Sigma Tau’s mention made my heart flutter. It was like having a crush, except it was an entire group of frat guys. Sam had rushed this semester and gotten a bid, and now he lived in the house. I hoped I could get in next semester.

jackomattern: when is it

Imtotallysamueljackson: weds night @8pm

its a mixer w theta zeta tau

hoottt girls (multiple fire emojis)

jackomattern: bruh

Imtotallysamueljackson: what? girls r the best part

jackomattern: (rolling eyes emoji)

Imtotallysamueljackson: pruuude

so u coming? u can b my gest

jackomattern: yea sure

should I bring anything?

Imtotallysamueljackson: Nah

Make a good impreshon that way they like u when u rush nxt sem

jackomattern: great thx

can I bring anyone

like Amelia

Imtotallysamueljackson: sry only 1 gest per member

jackomattern: eh its fine

Imtotallysamueljackson: u want me to pick u up?

jackomattern: Yea

ur gonna have to play along tho, my parents wont like me going to a party

Imtotallysamueljackson: I thought ur dad was in a frat

jackomattern: Yea but he regrets it

Imtotallysamueljackson: bruhhh

what r u gonna tell them?

jackomattern: that im going to ur place easy

Imtotallysamueljackson: Oh yea

ok see u weds

jackomattern: yea see u

Excitement coiled in my stomach. I tried getting back to reviewing for my test, but I was too excited to fully focus. My first frat party.

I already knew a few guys in the frat, thanks to the events I attended. Asher and Howard were two, and Sam, of course. I met Oliver and Tyler, the latter being the recruitment chairman.

I wasn’t dumb enough to focus on one, obviously, so I’d made lots of friends in other frats. Eddie joined Iota Theta Delta, for one, so he introduced me to a few of his brothers from his pledge class.

The reason I preferred STR so much was because their philanthropy donated to funds for cancer patients. After my experience with Amy, and knowing Monica, it was the most personal connection I had. The second choice was Sigma Eta Omega; they donated to mental health organizations.

Once recruitment started, I’d meet all 10 chapters of Greenfield and hopefully get a bid to one of them. I just had to be cool and not look like a desperate fanboy.

Tommy walked past my room, stopping and peeking in. “Hey.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I, uh…” Tommy came inside, seeming sheepish. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Sure, what about?” I turned away from my computer.

Tommy sat in Kyle’s chair, kneading his hands together. After a few moments, he spoke. “I just wanted to say sorry.”

“For what?”

“You were right… about Shirley.”

“Oh… yeah, you broke up with her yesterday, right?”

He nodded. “It was hard.”

“You okay?”

“I will be… I do feel a lot more… free. I just wanted to tell you that you were right and I’m sorry for getting mad, and denying something so obvious.”

I reached over, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, Tom. I get it. You’re out now.”

“I’m out,” he sighed. “And I didn’t just break up with Shirley.” I frowned, confused. He answered with: “I quit football.”

I blinked, my jaw dropping. “You what?”

“Yeah. I… while I was talking with Shirley, I realized how much of a jerk I became because of the team. You remember the stuff Lucas and everyone would do to the new guys, and we would play along?”

I nodded, guilt pinching my stomach. I still regretted it to this day.

“I realized… it wasn’t worth it,” Tommy continued. He took a chip from the bowl Kyle left behind. “I’m not going to college, and Harry’s smart enough to make it without me, or the team.”

“Did he quit, too?”

“Yeah. We emailed Coach.”

“What did he say?”

“He hasn’t answered.” He took another chip.

I smiled at him. “I’m proud of you, Tom.”

“It was a big step. I mean… it was getting awkward, going to practice with Lucas’s friends there after we… you know.”

“Beat the jerk out of him?”

We laughed.

“He got expelled, but… all the other guys are still there,” he groaned. “I just don’t want to be around them anymore.”

“I get you.” I stretched. “Really hope Flynn doesn’t go to Greenfield.”

“The guy has no mental capacity for college.”

We laughed again. Kyle returned and approached Tommy. “Out of my seat, shrimp.”

“You left, so I took it,” Tommy retorted.

Kyle gave him the ‘big brother’ look, but we could tell he was joking, so neither of us were frightened. In the end, he sighed and grabbed Tommy’s shirt, practically throwing him out of the chair.

“Rude,” Tommy huffed.

“Me? You were in my seat.”

“You know he quit football?” I told Kyle.

“Yeah, Harry told me. About time. Did they expel Flynn?”

“Yeah, but just him. The other guys that did the same things are still there.”

“Why? They’re just as bad as he is.”

“The principal is a bit…” Tommy tapped two fingers against his head.

“What?”

“Stupid. Harry taught me the sign.” He headed to the door. “I’ll see you.”

“Back to work,” Kyle said, turning to the computer. I briefly went on my phone to add the party to my calendar.

Wednesday, December 20- STR party 8:30

“Back to work, Jack. Off the phone.” Kyle threw a potato chip at my head.

“Sorry.” I put my phone away, hiding my excitement. I couldn’t wait for Wednesday.