I didn’t want to let the boys ruin my good mood today. So I pushed that creep, and Rick, and their other friends out of my mind, locking myself in my room.
Thanks to Tony, I decided to download FamiliarFaces now. I hadn’t used it in years, but now that I had friends, maybe it was best. Most people at Summit High used it.
After putting in all my information, the app said: Enter your username. Do not use your full name or any sensitive information.
Hmm… what kind of username would be good? I remembered my old one from years ago, but it probably wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t want the ghosts of my past finding me.
I glanced at the sunflower bracelet I was wearing. Susan gave it to me before I started school.
I typed in ‘Sunflower’.
Username taken.
‘Sunflowergirl’
Username taken.
It wasn’t until the tenth try that the app suggested ‘Sunflowergirl3482’. Okay, then.
Your account has been created!
One by one, I searched the group’s usernames— which I’d written down on a napkin— and added them as friends. Reluctantly, I also added my foster brothers. There was no point in leaving them out.
A message suddenly came up from one of my new friends. I smiled excitedly and opened it. Blenderr (Kansas Tomali): Who is this?
I quickly texted back. Sunflowergirl3482 (Diana Watson): It’s me, Diana. Thanks for the great time today!
Blenderr: Oh yea Tonys gf. Its np, it was fun
I blushed. Oh, I’m not his girlfriend, I said with a nervous laughter emoji.
Really?
No, we’re just friends.
I thought u guys were together. Hes always talking about u
My stomach jumped. He does? I asked.
Yea I think he likes u. and from the way u guys seemed so close, I thought u were a couple. We all did.
Goosebumps erupted and my heart raced. I stopped. Was I having another panic attack? It didn’t feel like one, though… it was like… I was excited.
I guess we’re just really close, then, I responded.
Hes a good catch tho, Kansas said. U should try and see.
Has he said he has a girlfriend? I hesitantly wrote.
No i just assummed. Maybe u could b his gf for reel, she said with a laughter emoji.
I swallowed. Well, I’m not looking to date anyone just yet…
If ur leaving in 6 mo like u said, might as well
Wait… what was I thinking?! Being someone’s girlfriend? No! I jumped off that ship long ago. How could I even consider trying it again?!
Another message popped up, covering my chat with Kansas. Wtfrulookingat (Kyra Harrison): Hi
My thumbs texted back excitedly. Hi! This is Diana.
Ik I see ur name here, she said.
Thanks for the good time, I said.
Yw. It was fun finally meeting tonys gf hahaha
There it was again. Did they all think we were a couple? Oh, no, we’re just friends.
Really? She sent a confused emoji. Wow. U guys would b cute together.
I bit my lip, stress tensing my shoulders.
Do u think hes cute? she then asked.
I hesitated. He was obviously cute. Yeah, sure. I don’t see why I shouldn’t think so.
U know he likes u rite
My stomach fell out of my butt. Kansas said that, too.
Yea he was so excited when he invited u, she continued. He was all like OMG i like her a lot shes pretty and fun
My heart raced and my stomach tingled. Was this good or bad? What was I supposed to do? Was this a good thing?
“No, not now…” I tried to breathe steadily as Kyra continued texting. U want me to talk to him for u? I can tell u like him haha
“Breathe…” I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. No, it’s okay. We’re just friends for now, Kyra. Don’t say anything, okay?
Ok sure. She sent a winking emoji. He really likes u tho.
What does he say? I texted.
Oh that ur pretty, and that he feels bad that ur in foster care and stuff, and he hopes u stay here forever, stuff like that.
Are you serious?
Yup
Was this true? If it was… what would I do? Should I text him? Ask him?
It had to be a mask. A farse. Another way to trick me. There was no way he liked me. Not like that.
Another ping interrupted my thoughts. I didn’t know how long I’d just been sitting here. _yrubimon (Randy Bigg): hi diana
Hi, Randy! I said.
The text bubble appeared for a few moments before a voice recording was sent. I didn’t even know I could do that. Here I was taking forever to text…
“Hey, so… I just want to say I’m sorry. I swear, I didn’t know they were going to take it this far. Um… the team wanted to just do a little joke on you and Tony. Mostly to Tony. But it was supposed to be something, you know, not a big deal. So… I’m really sorry.”
As the audio concluded, a whole bunch of screenshots were sent to me. I tapped on one of them.
It was the ‘Soccer’ group chat Tony was in. I recognized Kansas and Kyra’s usernames. Kyra had sent a picture to the group.
I could feel the color draining from my face.
She had shared screenshots of our chat about Tony.
tarataratara: OMG i knew it!!!
Wtfrulookingat: he still hasnt answered hahaha
Blenderr: idk if hell laugh tho —nervous laughing emoji— I think he actually wants to b friends
sea_bass_tian: its a joke it should b fine
I closed my eyes. In the back of my mind, that voice repeated itself: I told you so. I told you so. Nagging me, torturing me, over and over…
They were all so nice to me! Why would they…
Thisisscott: noooo bruh hahaha
hellena: hey Layla u lost the bet hehe
laylitalots: aw come onnn
sea_bass_tian: he doesnt actualy like her tho rite? Shes such an annoying b—h
Wtfrulookingat: Nah he never said that. But hes so prince charming its annoying. Maybe he does.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Well, in my case, it was the 30th time.
Blenderr: omg theres no way. Shes SO annoying and creepy. it was literal charity work being w her
Coach loves her just bc she runs fast
laylitalots: ghost foster girl is crazy af.
tarataratara: Tonys too much of a nice guy. Hes not gonna take this as a joke lol
Tony wouldn’t talk to me after this. It was my fault they were pranking him. I lost him.
I angrily blocked everyone except Randy and threw my phone to the wall. It banged on my closet door and fell on the carpet, the sturdy cover preventing it from breaking.
I didn’t understand why everyone in the world hated me so much. Was I a horrible person without knowing it? Why was it everyone’s goal to torture me in every way, shape, or form?
I reminded myself over and over again that this was nothing compared to so many things people did to me. Nothing compared to when girls dumped trash over my head every day in Brimstone. Nothing compared to when those kids tied me to a chair and terrorized me to ‘initiate’ me. Nothing compared to the bucket of water that almost killed me.
But it still hurt.
I was sick of it. There was nowhere I could go. It didn’t matter where I went. It didn’t matter if the family treated me nicely and provided me the bare necessities I was entitled to. Something was always there to ruin everything.
I threw my chair on the floor. I grabbed my pillows and punched them repeatedly, throwing them around my room.
Not enough.
Not… enough.
My eyes snapped to my desk drawer.
I felt like I wasn’t in control. It was like slow motion, yet it happened so fast. I blinked, and the scissors were suddenly in my hand.
There was a knocking noise echoing in my ears, over and over again. I kept staring at the glinting blades, which I’d scrubbed so hard the last time so no one would see the red left behind.
Maybe I deserved this. Maybe I just made everyone miserable. I ruined lives. It was always my fault. My fault. Always my fault.
The knocking wouldn’t stop. Boom, boom, boom… creak.
Creak?
“Diana, what are you doing?!”
I nearly screamed, jumping as I turned. I was seated on the edge of my bed. At the door was Tommy, staring at me with a pale face.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
“I…” I looked down at my wrists, which now burned fiercely. When did I…?
I looked at the stained scissors. Red. Red all over.
“Here.” Tommy knelt in front of me. He now held bandages and a bottle of first-aid alcohol. A first-aid kit was placed next to me.
“Wha… when did you get those?” I looked to the door, which was closed.
“Just now. I went to the bathroom.” He took the alcohol and poured a bit on some cotton. He glanced up at me. “Um… this is gonna sting.”
I only stared at him, barely processing what he said. How did I even…
I was fully brought out of my haze when the fire intensified on my right arm. I gasped, pulling my hand back, but Tommy held it tightly, albeit gently. “Just give me a minute, I need to clean it.”
Tears pricked at my eyes. I squeezed them shut, my other hand clutching the hem of my shirt. Something cold then pressed against my arm, soothing the burn.
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Tommy then applied petroleum jelly over my cuts and wrapped a large dressing pad around my forearm. The entire time, I could only stare.
He was never, ever this… concerned. All I ever saw from him were glares, frowns, and eye rolls. All I ever heard were insults and nicknames. Harry was the only one out of the brothers who showed minimal kindness.
He reached for my other arm, which I quickly pulled away. “Diana, I need to clean those, too. It’ll just take a moment, I promise,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes. I wasn’t trusting him. It was too…
“Please.” Desperation cut through his voice, cutting right into my heart.
His eyes… they weren’t cold. They were…
Heartbreaking.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I gave him my arm. He applied the same treatment, carefully cleaning and dressing the wound. When he was done, he put away the other tools and stood. “You should change. Your clothes got a bit stained.” He left to return the first-aid kit.
I looked down at my outfit in shock. How long had I…?
My clock read 7:30.
Tommy later knocked, when I was dressed in my PJ’s. “Can I come in?”
“Uh, yeah.”
He entered, this time carrying a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. “I thought maybe you wanted a snack?”
“Um… thanks.”
He set them down on the side table. Realizing I was actually hungry, I nibbled on the chocolate treats and sipped the drink. I felt the bed dip with Tommy’s weight.
“You know, I… I remember wondering if you ever felt hot in those clothes. Even in August, you always wore…” He rubbed his arm. “Long sleeves.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“I think I saw that in your file… it said you quit, though.”
“I did.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Silence.
“Did you tell your parents? They’re back, right?” I asked.
“Yeah. I mean, yeah, they’re back. No, I didn’t tell them. I haven’t told anybody.”
I looked down at my bandaged arms. “You can’t.”
“Diana, this is-”
“Please.” Tears instantly filled my eyes. “Please, you can’t. If you do, I don’t know what they’ll- they might- I might-”
“Okay, okay.” He took my by the shoulders. “It’s okay. I won’t say anything, I promise. But… try to… try to quit again. Truce?”
“Truce.” I forced a smile, wiping my eyes. “Y-you, uh…” I cleared my throat. “You can tell Harry… if you want. I’m okay with that.”
“No way. He’ll blab it before I even finish.”
I chuckled. “True.” I tapped my foot restlessly. I didn’t know what to say. This was… pretty weird. “Why did you come up here, anyway?” I asked him.
“What do you mean?”
“When you came here… why? Were you coming to talk, or…”
“Oh. Um… it was nothing. I was being a jerk. Forget it.” He waved dismissively.
“You wanted nachos or something?” I jokingly smirked.
He massaged his nape sheepishly. “More popcorn.”
We found ourselves laughing. “We got too lazy to heat up more, so they told me to ask you.”
We laughed more. And more. I rolled onto my back, my stomach pulsing with giggles. Tommy bent over and shook his head.
It wasn’t even that funny. Were we crazy?
The laughter soon descended into silence. The comfortable kind. My eyes remained on the ceiling.
“I’ve been such a jerk.”
I lifted my head. Tommy’s shoulders trembled. “Diana, I…” He sniffled. I sat up, shock overcoming me.
“I’m sorry. I…” His eyes reddened, a tear quivering at the tip of his nose. It glinted in the lamplight from my desk. “I don’t know what to say.”
I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do. His tears were… unexpected, to say the least.
“I guess I… I just thought that if I started liking you… I’d forget.” He stood and paced around the room. “I’d just pretend everything was normal, like Mom and Dad. That’s what we all wanted to avoid.” He wiped his face, mussing his spiky blond hair. “I know it’s not your fault, Diana. I know… I know. I know I’m wrong.” He leaned on the wall. His eyes glazed over with an indiscernible emotion as they flickered all around my room. I didn’t know what it was, but it tugged at my heartstrings.
“I want my life back. I want my family back. I want… I want everything back.” His voice quivered. “And more than anything, I wanted her back, and then I see you…” He sniffled again, wiping his nose. “But you’re… you. And she’s…”
“Gone,” I finished for him. I stood and approached him. “Tommy…” I bit my lip. “I don’t want to say I get it, because I don’t. I’ll never understand what you’re feeling. But… I get why you’re… why all of you… were the way you were.” My hands comfortingly rubbed his shoulders. After a moment of deliberating, I spoke. “Thank you. For apologizing. That’s all I can really say. Thank you.”
He burst into sobs. I pulled him into a tight embrace, soon realizing there were tears of my own dripping from my eyes, soaking his shirt.
~~~
Tommy
Every time I blinked, I saw her arms.
I couldn’t focus all day at school. I couldn’t look at Harry’s eyes, because I knew I’d break. I hardly talked to anyone.
For a moment, I’d forgotten she was Diana. I saw Amy… covered in red… Then I realized… that was Diana. And… I was the cause of that.
I contributed to something so horrible, so painful… I didn’t know what to think. I felt disgusted with myself. I caused so much pain to an innocent girl that suffered so much already, and I didn’t care. I only cared about myself.
Even after reading her file, I couldn’t be empathetic enough towards her. I didn’t read the whole thing, but she’d gone through a lot. And that wasn’t enough to stop me from being so horrible.
She’d quit. Now she started again. All because of us. Because of me.
“TOMMY! Are you listening to me?!”
My eyes met Shirley’s. I sighed, leaning back in my chair. “Yeah.”
“What is wrong with you? You’ve been blanking out all day.” She pointed at her notebook. “For the last time, do you know the answer to this?”
I blankly stared at the math problem. “Uh… I dunno.”
She huffed and erased what she wrote. “You’re no help.”
“Shirley, I don’t take AP Calculus, remember?”
“Still, you’re good at these things.” She glanced at me as she wiped the eraser dust off her paper. “What’s going on with you? What’s on your mind?”
“A lot of things.”
“It better not be-”
“No, it’s not another girl.” My temper flared, but I kept it in check.
“Just saying,” she muttered.
I checked my phone. I still had 20 minutes left of my free period. Never thought I’d want class to start so desperately. I wished we were out in the common study room instead of the private one. It would’ve been more bearable having other people around. It would’ve toned her down.
“That prank was over-the-top. That Diana girl is… whew.” Her pencil softly scribbled. “I don’t know how you live with her issues.”
“Hey, it’s not her fault.” I frowned. “She’s just gone through a lot. Plus, I deserved it for being such a jerk to her.”
“Since when are you so defensive about her?”
“I’m not being defensive. I just think you shouldn’t talk about her like that.”
“Like how? I’m just saying the truth,” she scoffed. “I’mma be honest, I think she’s doing it for attention. Lots of people fake mental health stuff for clout. She probably does it so people can feel sorry for her. No one acts that crazy in real life.”
My toes clenched. I closed my eyes as a headache came on. I always had a headache talking to Shirley.
And once again, yesterday’s image projected in my mind’s eye.
I could feel Amy’s anger. Her rage… her disappointment. How ashamed she felt of me. Of us.
“If it’s legit, then she needs serious help,” I vaguely heard Shirley say. “Probably wind up like that girl from The Tapes.”
The comment made me bristle. “Shirley, seriously?”
“What?”
“Are you seriously that ignorant?”
“Tommy, what’s your problem? Since when do you care so much about that ghost girl?”
“I just don’t want to talk about her like this. It’s not fair.” My eyes closed at another headache.
I failed. I failed again. I had another chance, and I failed. Even worse than last time. I wanted her to be proud of me. But how could she be? I was trash. The scum of the earth.
I had to do something. I had to find someone to help her…
I stood, startling Shirley. “I gotta go.”
“Where?”
“I need to see someone.”
She gasped indignantly, standing. “Oh, see someone? Who?”
Sighing, I confessed, “The school shrink.”
“The shrink?” She scoffed. “Either you’re lying, or Diana projected her mental health onto you.”
My fist clenched at the comment. “Fine, you can come with me if you don’t believe me. I just need to ask him something, okay?”
She rolled her eyes and gathered her things. “Whatever.”
My feet moved faster than ever through the halls. I only had a few minutes to ask him about this. I felt guilty breaking my promise, but this was too serious to keep secret. I could at least ask a professional for some help, keep it confidential.
I knocked on Dr. Arbyman’s office door. “Come in,” I heard. Shirley moved to enter with me, but I stopped her. “I need to talk to him in private,” I said.
“You don’t trust me?” she said, hurt.
“I do. But I need to talk to him alone. Please?”
She glared at me, but conceded, leaning against the wall. I went inside, dreading her rant about trust after this.
“Tommy,” Dr. Arbyman greeted. “It’s been a while. How can I help you?” He leaned forward on his desk.
I sat in front of him, putting my bag down. “I, uh… needed to ask you a hypothetical question. An important one.”
“Sure, ask me anything.”
“Um… let’s say you know someone that… you didn’t initially get along with, so you kind of… or…” How would I say this? I checked the time again— 8 minutes left. “Let’s say there’s someone you know that started… hurting themselves. And… they don’t want you to tell anyone, but you know they probably won’t stop, and you think you’re… part of the reason why they started again after quitting-”
“Okay, Tommy, slow down,” Dr. Arbyman said calmly. “Start from the beginning.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just… let’s pretend I know someone who I didn’t really like, but now, I’ve realized that they’ve been going through something and I was… too stupid to notice it before. And… they’ve started a habit again, one they quit before, and I think it’s my fault. And they need to stop, but they most likely won’t, and they made me promise not to tell anyone.”
Dr. Arbyman leaned back in his chair. “Is this about your foster sister?”
My mouth hung open. Maybe the ‘hypothetical’ part was too obvious.
He chuckled. “I’ve noticed behaviors in her. And she has her own therapist I lend my office to— you know this. I figured she probably went through a lot during her time in foster care.”
“Yeah, she… she has.” I swallowed, my eyes gluing themselves to my jeans. I couldn’t look him in the eye knowing what I did… knowing all I said…
“Are you saying she has resumed a habit she quit previously?” he asked.
My throat tightening again, I nodded silently.
“When?”
“Yesterday, I went to her room and I saw her. She looked like… it was like she didn’t realize what she was doing.” I remembered the blank look in her eyes, as if she were hypnotized. The way she looked at me, like she woke up from a bad dream. “She begged me not to tell anyone, so I didn’t… except you. I thought you’d keep this between us, so.”
“No, you did the right thing. Situations like these— you can’t keep this secret. You’re helping Diana this way,” Dr. Arbyman reassured me.
My jaw trembled. I wiped my moistening eyes. “I don’t want her to keep going. I-I’m scared. I don’t know what she’s going to do, what’ll make her do something… worse. I don’t know what to do.” My voice cracked. I finally looked at him, and tears began to flow. “I want to help her, but I feel like I made this happen. It’s my fault. She needed help and I didn’t care.”
He leaned forward again, eyeing me seriously. “Tommy. None of this is your fault. You didn’t know. You’re still grieving for Amy. You’re hurting, too. Don’t blame yourself.” He stood, walking up to me and putting an arm around my shoulders as I cried. “This is something that would’ve happened with or without you. What matters is that you recognized it and that you’re willing to help.”
I nodded, but I still wasn’t convinced. Maybe if I listened to her, maybe she wouldn’t have…
The bell rang. I picked up my bag and composed myself. “I have class, so… maybe during lunch I can come back?”
“You can come back anytime during my hours, Tommy. Don’t worry. We can continue discussing this and I’ll see what I can do.” He led me to the door.
“Thanks, Doc.” I opened the door. Shirley was still against the wall, browsing on her phone. “Done. Let’s go,” I said.
She was unexpectedly silent as we left, not giving me the rant I was waiting for. Maybe she was giving me the silent treatment instead, which I preferred. I didn’t need the yelling right now.
~~~
Diana
09.28.23
Dear Diary, Tommy and I have reached a sort of… stalemate.
I’m not sure if we’re friends. He was pretty weird this morning. But the hostility is gone. I saw a side of him I never thought I’d see. I have a sense of closure with him now, like I do with Harry. Maybe things do have a chance of getting a bit better.
I don’t know what made me black out, though. That hadn’t happened in so long. I thought it stopped. And over something so trivial, too. Sure, what happened was humiliating, but I don’t know what made me overreact.
And now I’ll have to face Tony again. I don’t have Biology today, thank God, but if I see him… I don’t know what I’ll say. And I’ll have to face him tomorrow, for sure.
He’s probably so disgusted. It’s my fault his ‘friends’ did that, anyway. I feel like such an idiot.
~~~
09.29.23
Dear Diary, Mildred was sick today. The bus rides to and from school were pretty… lonely, to say the least. Nothing happened… except that someone threw a PB&J at my head and I got peanut butter stuck in my hair. I washed it off already, made some cute braids.
I’m getting a lot of messages on FamiliarFaces. I’m regretting downloading this app. Nothing good has ever come out of it for me. At school, people have been writing in my notebooks, too. In the library, when I took all my books out, they were covered in marker. Names like ‘sl—t’, ‘b—h’, and other names were all over. I washed them all off already. I really don’t know how anyone got to my notebooks.
Also, Tony tried to talk to me today. It didn’t seem like he was mad, but I couldn’t really bring myself to look at him. We didn’t get to talk much in class, but it boiled down to him apologizing on behalf of the soccer team— which he shouldn’t do, since it’s not his fault— and assuring me that he still wants to be my friend.
I’m relieved, but at the same time, I don’t know if it’s worth keeping him as a friend. Or having friends in general. Sooner or later, something will happen between me and Thelma, or the other girls. It’s best if I just keep them as ‘friends’ and not friends. I keep getting fooled every time I come close to trusting someone.
Only people I’ll trust completely are Tommy and Harry… for now. I’m giving them one, single chance.
~~~
10.02.23
Dear Diary, Kyle and Jack thought it would be funny to lock me out in the rain. It took 5 minutes for me to start panicking and begging to be let in. When they did, they started laughing at me for overreacting. I thought they’d leave me out there for days! It happened way too many times with the other families, and I always wound up sleeping out in the cold and rain. They really scared me. Poor Harry was trying to explain to them, but they’re scum, so they’re not going to realize how cruel their little joke was. I preferred the younger ones’ old jokes; they used to ruin my food, put things in my hair. I wish it was just that.
~~~
10.04.23
Dear Diary, today was a pretty bad day. Ivy and I got paired up for an exercise in Computer Science. She didn’t talk to me the whole time— instead, she used the computer to type messages. And along the way, she called me a skinny w—e.
Obviously, that triggered me, and I yelled at her. Guess who got in trouble? Ivy made it like it wasn’t a big deal and ‘saved me’ from detention, and demanded a ‘thank you’. I didn’t say anything.
On the flip side… sort of… I heard there’s going to be a club fair next week. I don’t know if I want to be in a club if I’m not going to keep coming to school, but I guess I can try. It's next Monday.
My therapist advised me to go. She said it was a great opportunity to make friends and let everyone see the ‘real me’. A chance to dissuade the persona they’ve given me as ‘Amy’s ghost’. So, yeah, maybe I will go. That way more people see me as… well, me.
~~~
10.05.23
Dear Diary, I don’t know what Kyle and Jack are doing, but it almost seems like they’re conspiring against us (me, Tommy, and Harry). They hardly talk to the younger two anymore, and they’re always shutting up every time we walk in on their conversations. Those two are up to something; I can feel it.
I do get breaks. Jack’s on the football team at his school, so he’s always practicing. Kyle sometimes has club meetings. And they both still work on the days they don’t have classes. That helps.
Not to mention they’re always so unnecessarily nasty. Jack called me ‘fit for Halloween’ because I was such a ‘skeleton’. Kyle still finds ways to make me do chores when his parents aren’t around— not that they’re around much, anyway. They’re always having ‘late meetings’. Classic excuse to forget about the problems they caused themselves.
Meh, maybe it’s best. I hate being around them. Dinner’s always so awkward with them. It’s always awkward, but more so when they’re there. I just can’t bring myself to respect them anymore. No wonder they avoid people from their church.
But they’re my only hope for now. So when Ms. Bredlong comes to review us, we’ll have to be a big, happy family.
~~~
10.07.23
Dear Diary, it happened again. Yesterday.
At lunch, I decided to go back to the cafeteria for the first time in a while. At first, it was fun, hanging with the girls. Then this girl came out of nowhere and ‘accidentally’ dumped her orange juice over my head. And of course, when I got mad, everyone thought I was overreacting because it was an accident.
When I went to the bathroom to wash up, I blanked out. When I came to, my backpack was open, I was holding my scissors, and the dressing I’d just changed was all torn up. Thank God I was still in the bathroom stall, otherwise I could’ve been seen.
Tommy helped me redress my arms, but Harry walked in on us. At least it was him and not one of the older brothers. He promised to keep it quiet, and I hope he follows through. He can control his tongue when he really tries, so I’m trusting him.
I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold out. It’s getting worse. Everything’s getting worse. I’m still getting mean texts, Kyle and Jack keep making fun of me, people keep writing stuff on my notebooks. I don’t know why I’m still in school.
I guess I’m scared of what I can do if I’m home alone.