After school was over, I went to my first meeting with the foster kid club. They seemed a lot nicer than the Book Club, so I just hoped it wouldn’t turn out the same as yesterday.
The club met in a classroom. The desks were arranged in a circle, a table pushed to the far wall. There were bowls of candy, cans of soda, and an open box of chocolate cookies.
“Diana, hey!” Blanche came up to me and took my hand. “Glad you came. You want something to eat?” To my surprise, Alma was also present.
“Just some soda, thanks.” I served myself a cup and sat down at the circle with everyone else.
“Alright, I’m gonna start. So… who’s new here this year?” Delancey asked the circle.
I raised my hand with a couple other people.
“Okay, let’s introduce ourselves! Diana, how about you go first?”
“Um… okay. I’m Diana Watson. And I just moved in with the Field family, and I’m staying for about half a year.”
The other two introduced themselves; one was a boy named Derek who had just entered foster care, and the girl wasn’t a foster kid, but joined anyway. Her name was Jessie, a junior.
“I’m actually part of the school newspaper,” she continued. “I came to get an article out of the meeting. I thought, since we have some… interesting guests here, the school could have something exciting to read about.”
Interesting guests?
“I’d like to inform everyone else about how foster kids live and how their experiences are, so they’re not so ignorant, you know, there’s a lot of prejudice against foster kids, and I’d like to change that.”
“That’s a great idea,” said Delancey, “and we could increase membership. Most other foster kids here either don’t know we exist, or don’t want to join. This could help them, and help the rest of Summit’s community know more about us and the system.”
“Actually, could you repeat that?” Jessie said, taking out her phone. “That’s a great quote.”
“Sure.” Delancey repeated what she said, talking into the phone.
She was writing an article? I squirmed nervously. I hoped she didn’t ask me anything.
“Okay, so… I just wanted to ask y’all how you feel in this club, if you relate more to other people, found anyone to connect with… stuff like that. Uh, how about you?” Jessie smiled at me.
“Me?”
“Yeah. How do you feel now that you’ve joined Summit’s Family of Fosters?” She turned on her phone’s voice recorder. I got a little anxious, seeing the soundwaves scroll by on her screen.
“Um…” I glanced at Blanche, who nodded encouragingly. “W-well, I just joined, so… it’s hard to say. It’s my first meeting.”
“But do you feel like your life here at Summit High will improve now that you’ve found your people?”
My people? “I’m not sure how to…?”
“I mean… there’s a lot of rumors about you. But now that you’ve joined a club of people that relate to you somehow, you think you can sorta… make new friends easier?”
“I guess so?”
“And I bet there’s gonna be a lot more new members with you around. Lots of people want to meet you, so you could make a lot of friends,” Delancey pointed out.
“Lots of people want to meet me?”
“You’re famous here,” she said. “And now, people will get to know you for you, not because of… you know.”
A pause. Delancey glanced at Blanche, raising her brows intently.
“I feel like Diana will help the club out,” Blanche suddenly interjected. “There’s lots of people here in Summit that stereotype foster kids, mostly because there’s a lot of ‘problem’ foster kids in this area.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “But now that she’s here, they’ll want to join just to meet her, and then they’ll find out that foster kids aren’t as ‘disturbed’ as people say here.”
Jessie nodded, subtly winking at Blanche. It wasn’t subtle enough to escape my keen eye. “And they’ll see you as more than what the rumors say,” she told me.
I shook my head, baffled at the direction of the conversation. “Wait- okay- what exactly are you saying? That… you guys want me to make your club popular or something?”
“No! No. I mean, you will, but we just want people to get the chance to see all of us for us. Especially you,” said Blanche.
“How?”
“Just by talking to them and letting them know who you are. Telling your story.”
“My story isn’t something I want to tell people.”
“Then just… be you.”
But I hate me. My hands rubbed against my jeans. “This is making me uncomfortable,” I said. “I joined, sure, but not to get popular or anything.”
“But don’t you want people to stop seeing you the way they do? We can help,” said Delancey.
“Look… I appreciate that you guys care, but… this isn’t… it’s not as simple as a meet-and-greet.”
“I think the reason people say stuff about you is because they don’t know you. Maybe if you’re more open and show you don’t care, then they might see a different side of you.”
“And it can all start with this article,” said Jessie. “Tell Summit who the real you is.”
My heart picked up speed. I needed to get out of here. The whole environment was oppressing, further empowered by their insistent voices and intense stares.
“I-I think I gotta go, actually.” I rose, my hand fumbling for my backpack. “I’ve got… stuff to do… bye.” I left my full cup of soda on the table.
As I speed-walked down the hall, I heard, “Diana!” Turning, I saw Blanche running after me. “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“What’s wrong? Blanche, I don’t want to be interviewed about the ‘real me’. I just wanted to drink soda and chat. What is this?”
“We just… we felt bad for you,” she confessed. “The whole school talks about you. You’re like a social pariah because of something that’s not your fault. We just wanted to help.”
“And get a headline for your club. ‘Amy’s ghost twin joins the Foster Kid Club’!”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“Then what?”
“Like I said, we just wanted to help. You’re always alone, and… we felt bad. Especially after yesterday; Alma told me what happened, and I felt so bad.”
There it was again. The pity. They ‘felt bad’. Everyone ‘felt bad’, so they wouldn’t leave me alone. I was the pathetic, lonely, poor little unpopular girl who looked like a dead girl.
“So I’m just a charity case or something?” I finally answered.
“No, Diana-”
“Sorry, but that’s what it sounds like.” I continued to my locker. I just needed my AP Lit book, and I’d be out of here. I hurriedly booked a car to take me home ASAP.
Blanche practically ran after me, unable to keep up. “Wait- Diana, please, that’s not what we wanted.”
“If you wanted to help, then don’t bring a literal reporter to publish my ‘story’. Like I’m just gonna trauma-dump on you so easily. This is what I don’t get.” I stopped just before my locker. “You’re a foster kid, too. If you went through something… sick and horrible with a family, would you want someone to write about it and tell everyone?”
Blanche hesitated, then looked behind me, her gray eyes widening. Following her gaze, I turned.
On my locker were sticky notes attached all over the door. I slowly approached to read them. They were all different, but with two handwriting styles— so two people, most likely girls, from the way the letters were shaped.
‘1. I’m a total loser’. ‘2. I cut myself to make people feel bad.’ ‘3. I hate my life because I have no friends.’
Blanche cursed behind me. “What is this?” I only stared at the notes, my soul screaming louder with every one.
‘13. I replaced a dead girl.’
“Diana! What a coincidence!”
Shirley walked up to me with a bright smile. She stopped, gasping dramatically at the notes on my locker. “Oh! What is this? How terrible!” She shook her head with devastation. “People can just be so mean sometimes. Sorry this happened to you. I guess they heard.”
“H-heard about what?” I choked out, swallowing.
“Oh, you know…”
“I don’t.”
“Well, I guess the notes are a reference to The Tapes. You know that show?”
“Yeah. It’s trash,” said Blanche.
“Oh, I don’t see it that way. It’s educational. Lets us know what people might be going through. I guess people get the memes out of it, though.” Shirley looked back at the notes. “And… I guess it’s also because people love to get attention. There’s sickos out there, right? They act like they’re suffering so people will love them… or whatever. Takes the legit part out of the equation. Then people who are really suffering aren’t believed. It’s a shame.”
“H-how…? What are you talking about?” I said.
“Well, everyone knows about your… thing.” She pointed at her arm. “You should get some help for that. Any sane person would. That’s not healthy.”
Before that witch could say another word, I ran. My legs worked like clockwork, carrying me far. I soon found myself running alongside trees, my back soaked with sweat under my backpack. My shoulders ached. I finally collapsed on the sidewalk, panting. Touching my eyes, I found tears.
I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Tommy. I couldn’t trust anyone.
~~~
The minute my Rideshare car dropped me off, I bolted out and ran to the house. Tommy and Harry were probably in their room doing homework. I barreled upstairs like a bull. My anger had reached levels it hadn’t reached in a long time.
On the way home, Shirley continued texting me on FamiliarFaces, calling me a ‘selfish ingrate’ for not accepting her help. According to her, if I refused help, ‘no one would believe me’ and I would just be labeled ‘crazy’.
After blocking her, I was ready to beat Tommy up for spilling the beans. To her, of all people. I would’ve been less angry if Harry had blabbed it.
I barged inside the boys’ room and wordlessly grabbed both of them by the collars. They exclaimed as they were yanked down to my height. I dragged them all the way down to the den, ignoring their protests. It was safer; their parents were too close to their room.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
Once inside, I closed the door and gave Tommy a death glare. Both of them were staring at me confusedly, with wide eyes. “Let’s talk,” I said simply.
“Hello to you, too,” Harry chuckled, but he stopped when I turned my glare on him.
“Sofa. Now.” I pointed at the couch.
They stood stiffly, their gazes changing. They were still confused, but there was something indescribable in their eyes.
“Now.”
They broke out of their daze and went to sit. I moved the sofa chair so I could be facing them and plopped on the seat. “Both of you know about… these.” I pulled my sleeves up and held up my newly bandaged arms. The first-aid kit was going to run out at this rate.
Both boys nodded.
“And you know this was a secret, right?”
They nodded again. Harry’s eyes then shot wide. “I-I didn’t say anything! I swear I kept my mouth shut!”
“I know, Harry.” I smiled at him calmly. “You’re good, don’t worry.” My smile disappeared when I spoke to Tommy. “But you…”
“Me? Diana, I haven’t told anyone.” He swallowed, giving his guilt away.
“Oh, really? Then can you explain why Shirley knew about these?” I held up my arms again.
“Why who what?” Harry’s forehead was wrinkled with deep creases.
“Shirley?” Tommy asked, now confused.
“Yeah. You remember her, right? About my height. Short blond hair. Grumpy-looking. Sits on your lap all the time and demands you call her Shirl-bear and hand-feed her marshmallows. Your girlfriend.”
Harry snickered, but was again silenced, this time by his brother’s glare. “I know who you’re talking about, Diana,” Tommy said sarcastically.
“Well?”
“Well? I didn’t tell her.”
“Then how does she know? How does anyone know? I had a bunch of Post-Its on my locker making fun of… this! And she coincidentally appeared when I saw the notes and said I ‘needed help’. Tell me how she did all that!”
“I don’t know! Harry must’ve said-”
“What?! I didn’t say anything!” Harry protested.
“You always say something!”
“Not this! And even if I did, I wouldn’t have told Shirley!”
“I swear I didn’t tell her!”
“Then who did?”
“Exactly. Who did?” I cut in.
Tommy looked at me with bewilderment, his mouth flapping. “I-I…”
“How about you call her and ask her who told her?” Harry suggested.
He immediately agreed. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll call her and ask her. I know I didn’t say anything to her.” He quickly dialed on his phone and called. It took a few rings before she answered. He put it on speaker.
“Hey, Tommy-bear.”
“Hi, babe.”
“Babe?”
Tommy sighed wearily. “Shirl-bear.”
Harry and I heavily rolled our eyes. How pathetic could this get?
“That’s better. What’s up?”
“Um… I, uh… needed to ask you something.”
Sighing impatiently, I snatched the phone away. “Hi, Shirley, it’s me, Diana. You know, Tommy’s foster sister?”
Shirley groaned in irritation. “What is this ‘brat’ doing with your phone, Tommy?”
“This ‘brat’ wants to ask you: who told you about my cuts?” I asked.
“Huh?” Shirley said cluelessly.
“Who told you about my cuts? On my arms?”
“Um…” There was a long pause. “Well, Tommy, obviously. He tells me everything.” She scoffed condescendingly. “You taking too many antidepressants, Diana? They’re smoothing your brain.”
Before I could respond, Tommy snatched his phone back. “Shirley, what are you talking about? I didn’t tell you about that.”
“Yes, you did. Y-you tell me everything.”
“I didn’t tell you this!” he insisted.
“Yeah, you did,” she said unconvincingly.
He stood frozen. “I… I couldn’t have. I… didn’t tell you.”
“I guess you don’t remember.”
“No… no.” He slowly lowered the phone, looking at me blankly. “Diana… I-I’m so sorry. I swear I didn’t mean-”
My anger had faded. He didn’t tell her anything. But she found out somehow.
“What are you apologizing to her for? She needs help. She doesn’t have to be such an ingrate. If she’s legit, and she wants people to care about her, then she should let them. Geez.”
My anger flared again, but it wasn’t towards Tommy anymore. I snatched the phone from him again. “Okay, that’s it. Tell the truth.”
“What?”
“Tommy didn’t tell you anything. Tell the truth,” I said.
“Wh-wha… Tommy, she’s crazy.”
“Oh, my- JUST TELL THE TRUTH!” I screamed. Harry ran up to me, shushing me and nervously glancing at the door.
“Diana, don’t yell at her so much,” Tommy defended her.
“Did you mention it to anyone else? I want you to be honest, Tommy,” I demanded.
He paused, then his eyes shot wide in realization. “Oh, my God.” He covered his mouth.
“Who did you tell?”
“I…” He sat down, looking up at me guiltily. “I… went to Dr. Arbyman. I’m really sorry, Diana, but I just couldn’t let this go. I didn’t mean to lie. I thought that maybe he could help you. And his meetings are confidential, so I thought it was safe. I’m sorry.”
Arbyman… right, the school counselor.
I was angry knowing Tommy did technically blab to someone and lied to me. But at least he hadn’t directly told Shirley. The question still stood. “Was Shirley with you when you went?” I asked, containing my rage.
He sighed, taking a breath. “Yes, she was.” He took the phone from me. “Shirley, please tell me you weren’t eavesdropping.”
A pause. Then she hung up. Tommy grunted in frustration and threw the phone on the sofa. He sat down again, clutching his head. “Diana-”
“I told you not to tell anyone. I don’t care if it was a shrink, you couldn’t tell anyone.” I swallowed down tears. “I should’ve known.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you’re sorry. You’re always sorry. But you always make everything worse for me!” I exclaimed. “Why did she have to go with you, huh? Now everyone knows, Tommy! EVERYONE! I don’t know what to do- I- I can’t go back there now, I can’t do what…”
Harry gently took me by the arms. “Try to calm down.”
“I can’t calm down!” I pulled away from him, trembling. “Thanks to your brother, I’m gonna be moved! I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN!”
The door opened. Kyle and Jack stood, looking at us with confusion. “What are you all screaming about in here?” Kyle asked.
~~~
Jack
This week could not get any worse.
I was exhausted after sleeping at 2:00 in the morning. How my Human Development teacher expected us to finish an entire project in three days, I didn’t know, but I did it at the cost of my sleep. I was so tired that I even went into the women’s bathroom by mistake.
On top of that, my favorite shirt was ruined after spilling soup on myself at lunch, and it was now raining heavily. I had to cross buildings between classes, so I was soaked to the bone, my umbrella safe at home.
I was also supposed to go out with some of the guys from the team today for lunch, but they cancelled on me. Few hours later, I saw them all in the parking lot, coming back from Rita’s, happy as can be. When I confronted them about it, they just brushed me off.
My texts to a couple of them were left on ‘Read’ and one— a Summit High grad— responded with, ‘Cry to ur ghost sister lol’, so at least I had a bit of an answer to my question.
Even at college, away from Summit, she still ruined my life somehow.
I waited under the awning of the Student Center for Nicole’s car to pull up. I was cold, tired, and in a very bad mood. I mindlessly scrolled through FamiliarFaces in the meantime.
flynngrinn: yo
Lucas? What did he want?
jack_linus_field2004: what?
flynngrinn: how u been?
Ok ig? I texted back.
Lol, he said, ur happy w ur new sister now right?
I bristled. What r u talking about
I see tom and harry at school and they seem ok now, wondering if ur ok w ur new sister too, he said. I want to see the new amy again lol
Unable to resist myself, I cursed at him and blocked him. My already sour mood worsened, my skin heating up. It was always about her. Everyone would always talk about her. It wasn’t fair.
Nicole’s car finally rolled up. I wordlessly got in the back seat, Kyle in the passenger. “Hey, sweetie, how was school today?” Nicole said jokingly. “Did your teacher give you a gold star?” Both chuckled.
Normally, I would’ve laughed along, but I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “Not now, Nic.”
Kyle turned in his seat, noticing my expression. “What’s wrong, Jack?”
“Nothing.”
“Did something happen?”
“No.”
“You’re all wet,” Nicole observed, glancing in the rearview mirror as she drove. “You forget your umbrella?”
“I didn’t know it was going to rain,” I answered.
“It said it on the forecast this morning.”
“Well, I don’t have time to be checking the weather all the time, okay?” I snapped.
“Don’t talk to her like that.” Kyle eyed me sternly. “What happened to you?”
“Nothing, alright? I don’t feel like talking.”
Nicole tapped Kyle’s arm. “Let him be.”
The rest of the ride was tense and silent. The rain pattering on the windows irritated me by the second. Lucas’s messages had really sent me over the edge.
The only reason I tolerated him was because of Tommy and Harry. They needed football scholarships for college. I didn’t want to screw that up for them, not with Lucas’s influence over the team. Tommy wasn’t aiming for college, but he wanted to give his scholarship to Harry to go out-of-state.
He was such a trash person… deep to his core. I would give him the benefit of the doubt when we were younger, not wanting to judge so quickly, but he demonstrated loud and proud that he was a heartless, sick perv. He would treat Amy like scum, and we wouldn’t do anything about it.
And here we were, stuck in the same loop, doing the same thing, all over again. Amy would’ve been so disgusted and disappointed.
Once Nicole stopped at our house, I bolted out the door, forgetting to thank her. “Jack, wait!” I heard Kyle call, but I was desperate to crash on my bed and go to sleep.
I paused at the foyer, hearing yelling from the den. It wasn’t the usual competitive arguments between Tom and Harry over a game. It was an argument.
I took off my jacket and shoes, leaving them by the door. Kyle came behind me. “Jack, you’re going to tell me-”
“Shh.” I tried to make out what they were saying, but I couldn’t tell. Kyle heard it, too. We then heard Diana yelling in a sobbing rant. We approached the den door, now hearing her clearly.
“Thanks to your brother, I’m gonna be moved! I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN!”
We entered. All three of them turned, freezing like criminals caught in a robbery. “What are you all screaming about in here?” Kyle asked.
They glanced at each other. “Nothing,” they said.
“What’s the matter?” Kyle asked again.
“It’s nothing,” Diana insisted, playing with her sleeve.
“What are you doing here?” Harry asked, turning red. A classic tell.
“My class got canceled,” I said. It was my favorite course, too, but it was a relief. I was so sick of school.
“What were you fighting about?” Kyle asked one more time.
“Nothing, guys,” Tommy said.
Kyle put on the big-brother frown of his, staring down all three. While Tommy and Harry shied away, Diana just rolled her eyes. I shivered. I didn’t know how she didn’t get the least bit intimidated by Kyle’s glare.
That look promised something— anytime, anywhere, Kyle would pay us back by bringing some kind of misfortune, whether it was a prank, him telling Mom and Dad a secret, embarrassing us, or anything else.
“I’m serious. If it’s something to do with Diana, we should all know-”
“Why should you?” Diana scoffed.
“Because we’re your host family? It’s our business if something’s happening to you.”
“Oh, and it wasn’t my business that my host family used me as a replacement daughter-slash-sister?”
My nerves tingled, anger filling my veins. “That was different,” I gritted out.
“How? I had the right to know why people looked at me all the time. I had the right to know why I was here in the first place.”
“People look at you because you chose to go to school, like an idiot,” I reminded her. “You could’ve gone to online school, but no, you wanted the experience.”
“I stayed at that jailhouse because I wanted answers!”
“Could we stop? I want to know what you guys were talking about,” said Kyle.
“It’s none of your business!” Diana shouted, following with a curse name.
“Guys, Mom and Dad-”
“Who cares about Mom and Dad?!” I snapped. “They don’t care what we’re doing! They’re trapped in their office doing ‘work’!” I made quotes with my fingers. “And you,” I pointed at Diana, “you better be grateful that we even take time to care about your drama.”
“Drama?”
“Boo-hoo, I’m a poor foster kid that everyone hates so I decided to make other people’s lives miserable because if I’m not happy, no one else should be!” Everyone stared at me in shock. I felt like maybe I was going a bit far, but I couldn’t stop. All my rage just poured out like an exploding volcano. “It’s always something else with you! You make it worse and worse for us, and then you’re crying about how you’re the victim!”
“Jack, shut up!” Harry shouted back.
“Shut up?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Diana, let’s just go-” Tommy put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.
“Oh, you see? You wanted us to be nice, and when we are, you just…” I imitated her pushing someone away. “Like, why? What do you want?”
“Jack, just leave her alone!” Harry continued.
“Butt out.”
“Me? You guys came in here!”
“I want all of you to be quiet,” Kyle snapped, his arms folded across his chest. “I’m not letting any of you leave until you tell me what happened.”
“Who cares about what happened, Ky? She probably just made our lives worse.”
“Stop blaming me for everything!” She shoved me back, tears flowing. “Just stop!”
“Oh, don’t give me that. I know you can act. You’re not bad at it, like-” I stopped myself. It was true. Amy was a terrible liar. The only time she could get away with something was when she faked sick— she was good at that. “Just stop trying to make us feel sorry for you,” I finished.
“I don’t want you to feel sorry!”
“She needs help, you guys. Okay?” Tommy defended.
“Help? Oh, you bet.”
“Jack. Butt out.” Kyle glared at me.
“Me?”
“Yeah. Butt out. Just go. You’ve been in a bad mood all day.”
“Yeah, I had a bad day. A bad week- actually, no. A bad year. The whole year’s been trash, thanks to her!” I pointed at Diana.
“Oh, yeah, I ruined your whole year even though I met you, like, two months ago.” She scoffed at me. “You’re not as smart as I thought you were.”
Harry’s face reddened further, but out of rage rather than nerves. “Would you stop picking on her?” he screamed. “You see- this is why we were fighting! You won’t leave her alone. People at school don’t leave her alone. That’s why she’s getting like this.”
“Harry-”
“It’s stuff like this that’s making her hurt herself-”
“HARRY!” Diana pushed him, looking at him in shock. The words soon registered in my head as silence followed, my anger starting to fade.
“What?” Kyle finally said.
The color drained from Diana’s face. She looked at us with teary eyes, shrinking into herself like a turtle in a shell.
“She what?” Kyle approached Harry. “It’s stuff like this that what?”
“Nothing,” he said, but it was too late.
“What do you mean, she hurts herself?”
“It’s nothing,” Diana insisted.
“What are you doing? Is that why you wear long sleeves all the time?” I asked.
“No, I-”
Tommy stepped in. “Guys, get off her back-”
Kyle stepped forward, taking Diana’s arm and lifting her sleeve. We caught a glimpse of a bandage before she yanked her hand away. “LET ME GO!” she shrieked, pinching our eardrums.
“What are those?!”
“DON’T TOUCH ME!”
The door opened. Dad looked at us sleepily, although he was still in his business attire, his hair neatly combed. “What are you kids screaming about in here?” he said scoldingly.
Diana took the chance to run outside. Harry followed her down the hall. I could only stare, my rational thinking restoring as the anger faded completely.
“Thanks a lot, Jack.” Tommy stared at me with angry eyes.
“I…”
“Just go. Get out.”
“What happened here?” Dad crossed his arms. “Jack, what happened?”
Exhaustion suddenly overtook me. I brushed past him and went upstairs. Behind me, I could hear Kyle talking to him. As I went down the hall, Mom came out of her room. “What was all that?” she asked. “We heard you guys screaming down -”
“It’s nothing, Mom. Ask Kyle, he’s in the den.” I went inside, closing the door, and collapsed on my bed.
What have I done?