December 22nd, 2023
Susan and Davis took me to see my parents today.
Despite my grounding, I was allowed to go to places like this; important places. We had already planned this little trip, and that wasn’t something they’d take away.
Their mode of parenting was something to get used to. There was no screaming, hitting, or threatening when they scolded me. They took away privileges and made it clear that it was ‘their house, their rules’ without any harsh treatment. I hadn’t been in major trouble with them during my stay— surprisingly— so this was the first time they scolded me severely. But to me, it wasn’t severe.
Out of respect, I accepted my punishment and promised not to do this again, but had it been any other family, I would’ve disobeyed them right away. This kind of discipline was just so light compared to others.
Of course, I knew I had taken a big risk. Something more dangerous could’ve happened to me at that party. The incident was reported, but because I came out in one piece, I wasn’t moved.
This marked the second time the boys saved my butt. I didn’t know how they didn’t get sick of me. If I were them, I would’ve sent myself away.
Upon arriving in Pierce, my memories started coming back to me. Places I hadn’t remembered in over a decade gradually found their spots in my brain. The nostalgia was so strange. It felt like another reality, one where I had a family, and a home, and happiness. I had a normal life.
“165, right?” Davis said.
“That’s right.” My heart quickened when we turned the corner, passing the street sign that read, ‘Waterfield St.’
And there it was.
My house. My home. The home I started my life in. The home I was happy in. Where my parents used to live.
“You want to get out of the car, or do you want to keep going?” Susan asked.
I swallowed, staring at the house as Davis crawled past. I remembered the windows seeming so big to me. Now they didn’t seem that big. The house itself was pretty small.
“Yeah, I’ll get out,” I finally said. Davis stopped and I got out with Lonnie. He could already feel my anxiety rising, so he pressed himself to my side.
I’m right here, Diana. I won’t leave you, I could hear him saying.
I stood in front of the little white house. The lights were off inside, just like they were the day my parents died.
“Diana… can I ask you…?” Harry stood next to me.
“Yeah?”
“How did your…?” He trailed off.
“They got a call that my grandma had a heart attack while I was at school. They didn’t have time to wait for me to get out, so they left me a note and went. On the way there, a drunk truck driver caused a huge pile-up on the highway. The cargo box fell and crushed them.”
A few moments passed. “I’m so sorry.”
“I expected it to hurt… but it doesn’t, not as much. I guess because I had so little time with them.”
“What about your grandma?”
“I dunno. I guess she died.” I shrugged. “I never actually met her. The only family we talked to was my aunt and uncle, and their kids.”
As I stared, I saw my little self walking up to the house, her backpack on. She stopped short, staring at the darkened windows. A sob tore out of my chest and I crouched, covering my mouth. Harry hugged me on one side while Lonnie comforted me with DPT.
“We should go,” Susan said gently, holding my shoulders. I nodded and followed her back to the van.
The cemetery was about a half-hour away from my old house. It wasn’t as pretty as the one Amy and Julia were buried in. After a while of looking, Kyle finally found their names and called us over. It was a large gravestone with my dad on the left and my mom on the right.
STUART ROBERT WATSON
Feb. 27, 1983-Nov. 8, 2011
Beloved Father and Husband
CHARLOTTE AIDA WATSON
Oct. 9, 1986-Nov. 8, 2011
Beloved Mother and Wife
I stared at their names, engraving them in my mind. I worried that, with all I’d forgotten, I’d even forget their names, too.
“Your mom was only 25?” said Susan.
“Yeah… and my dad was 28. Bit old, I know,” I said. “I don’t know the whole story, but they met when my mom graduated college. They wound up pregnant with me, and they got married.” I looked at the spot next to my parents. I could see an extra stone there with my mind’s eye.
DIANA BRIANNA WATSON
Jul. 13, 2007-Nov. 8, 2011
Innocent Daughter
It made sense to me. I died that day. The little girl who thought the world moved when she was in a car, the girl whose definition of a perfect day was based on a cartoon, the girl that thought knowing her address by heart was her greatest accomplishment. She was dead and buried with her parents.
As I turned back to my parents’ grave, a body suddenly appeared before me. My body. She was 4 years old. She was still wearing the same clothes she wore that day at preschool. Her cold hands clutched a sunflower and her eyes were closed.
I blinked, dizzy, and the body was gone. Lonnie alerted me to sit down. “You want to go, Diana?” Davis asked.
“Just a few more minutes.” I petted Lonnie. “Could you give me the flowers?”
Susan reached into the extra bag she brought, bringing out the small bouquet of sunflowers we’d bought on the way. I took them, thanking her, and placed them gently on my parents’ grave, right between them.
“Hi, Mom and Dad…” I found myself saying. “It’s been a while.” My voice wavered. “I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re happy… in a better place. I really hope so.” I hugged Lonnie tighter. “I… I’m so…”
Kyle and Jack readily embraced me as I sobbed. “I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry… I’m not the girl you raised. I’m not the daughter you knew. I’m so sorry.”
“Diana…”
“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, Mommy…” I quieted down, crying silently. Lonnie licked my tears clean.
After a while, I calmed down. Harry crouched in front of me. “Diana. Look at me,” he said.
Despite the weight on my eyes, I forced them to meet his. His eyes were full of affection and kindness.
“You’ve been through so much. You’ve taken so much pain, and trauma, and us on top of it. I know your parents are very proud of you. You got shoved into situations you didn’t deserve to be in. You got hurt by a lot of people. But you’re a fighter. You’re so strong, Diana. Stronger than any of us could ever be. Don’t be sorry. I know your parents aren’t disappointed. I know they’re proud.”
The tears continued and I hugged him, burying my face in his chest. Comfort like this was a new feeling for me. I felt like no one could touch me. No one could take me away. I was…
Home.
~~~
Harry heard that Monica returned to the hospital yesterday. I decided to take the chance to visit her. At first, I didn’t want to be friends, considering she knew Amy, but I figured I could ease her curiosity. She looked so awestruck when she saw me the first time, her mind probably swimming with questions.
The family told me she was friends with Amy and Ivy since they were children. The whole time, she was battling ALL, a leukemia she had since she was 4. After Amy died of her stomach cancer, Monica seemed to get worse, so much that she had to quit school. She was constantly in and out of the hospital for chemo and operations.
Now that I knew her full story, I felt pretty bad for snapping at her that first day we met. I was still stressed because of what happened. That was already almost a month ago.
Almost a month since I did what I did, and many times, I kept wanting to try again.
We arrived at the hospital and were led to Monica’s room. Her long, auburn waves were gone now, her smooth head shining under the light. Her wig sat on a wig stand, sitting on a nearby table.
She wasn’t alone, though. There was another girl in the room— someone quite familiar.
Susan knocked on the door. “Hi, sweeties.”
Monica brightened while Ivy froze like a statue, awkwardly looking at her and the rest of us. “Hi, Mrs. Field,” Monica said happily. “How’ve you been?”
“Getting through. What about you two?”
Monica shrugged. “Another day at the office.”
“I’m doing fine,” said Ivy.
“How’s school, Ivy?” Davis asked.
“It’s okay.”
“Oh, by the way, I saw your posts; that place looked really fun! It was a ski resort, right? Which one?”
“Snowcap, I think. It was fun. We figured we’d take Diana out on her first Field Day.” With everyone’s attention drawn to me, I shyly peeked out from behind Davis. Ivy’s face instantly soured.
“Oh, yeah… Diana,” Monica said, waving to me. “I saw her here last month.”
“Yeah, she told us,” said Kyle.
I waved back shyly. “How are you?”
“You know, Ivy, I’m surprised you didn’t mention Diana to Monica,” said Susan.
The brunette girl hesitated. “Oh… it slipped my mind.”
“She said she didn’t know about her,” said Monica. “Since you guys didn’t start posting about her until now.”
“You said that?” Tommy chuckled. “Diana literally went to our school.”
This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“She did?” Monica looked at Ivy. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Ivy smiled nervously. “I… I just didn’t want to talk about it.”
“No one else from school told you?” Harry asked.
“To tell you the truth, the only friends I really had were Ames and Ives. All my other friends stopped talking to me when they found out I had cancer.”
“That’s… mean,” I said.
She shrugged again, uncaring. “Happens.”
“So… your first Field Day, huh?” Ivy leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “Funny. I thought Field Days were only for Fields.”
“Ivy, you went on Field Days with us,” Kyle pointed out.
“As a friend, not family.”
The atmosphere grew tense. Monica frowned at her best friend. “What’s up with you?” she said.
Ivy sighed. “Nothing. I gotta go to the bathroom. Excuse me.” Her brown eyes cut through me like knives as she left.
Monica shook her head. “She didn’t say anything about Diana.” She motioned to Ivy’s previous seat. “How about you sit down? Thanks for coming by.”
I smiled awkwardly, sitting down. Susan and Davis shared a subtle look and nudged the boys. “We’ll be outside,” said Susan.
When they left, Monica leaned forward. “So you’re a foster kid?”
“Yeah.”
“How long are you gonna be with the Fields?”
“It was supposed to be six months starting August, but it’s indefinite now. I’m hoping I get to stay until I age out.”
“And… you know all about Amy?”
“Just about. They told me about you, and Ivy,” I said. “I kinda get why she’s mad. It’s hard. I’m actually surprised you’re not mad.”
“Why should I be mad?”
“They took me in just a few months after Amy died. It was kind of like a replacement. They even gave me her room, her clothes… and I went to her school. The boys hated me up to when they… when they realized I was… in a bad place.” I looked down at my arms. I was so glad it was winter. The scars were still very visible. “It’s a long story. We have to go soon, so… I don’t know if you want to hear all that.”
“You have Familiar?” She took her phone off her side table.
“Uh, yeah.” I took out my phone.
“Here.” She opened her account page and showed me her username: @moneysully.
I added her and smiled. “Thanks.”
“You don’t have to worry about me being mad. Why should I be? It’s not your fault. And while Mr. and Mrs. Field screwed up, I get why. People do pretty messed-up stuff without wanting to when they’re grieving.” Her voice was full of sympathy and understanding, a complete contrast to what I experienced the entire time I was here. “I’m actually more mad at Ivy than you and Amy’s family. She made friends with girls we hated. I get what she feels, but it hurts to know she’s hanging out with them.”
Before I could ask her anything, Ivy returned. She stopped, glaring at me. “I was sitting there,” she said.
“Ives, there’s a chair right there.” Monica pointed at the chair next to her bed. “What’s going on with you?”
The other girl sighed, plopping into the extra chair. Awkward silence.
“Ivy, I want to know why you were hiding all this from me.”
“Because it would just stress you out. I didn’t want to aggravate you.”
“You could’ve told me when I was home.”
Ivy sighed. “Money, please, I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Money?”
“My nickname. Just like I call her Ives, and Amy was Ames.” She laughed. “Amy hated when her brothers called her that. I never knew why. It just triggered her.”
“She doesn’t need to know that, Monica,” said Ivy.
“Why not?”
This wasn’t going the way I hoped. I wanted to talk to Monica, not Ivy. She just had to be here the same day, didn’t she? I was hoping I wouldn’t see her again, not after all she said about me.
I stood, smiling politely. I pretended to look at my phone. “Susan just texted me. It’s getting late, so… how long are you gonna be here?”
“Not long, but you can always text me,” Monica said.
“Okay. I’ll see you.” I quickly got out of there, feeling Ivy’s knife-sharp eyes on my back.
~~~
Tommy
The basement was freezing, so I had the portable heater on. I had to wait a little while until I could actually go inside. It was full of dust, making me sneeze, and it smelled musty. I opened a window to let some of it out, the air biting my skin.
It was a lot cleaner than it used to be. We all cleaned it up and organized everything after Amy died. It helped take our minds off her… until we had to clean out her things. Lots of her old stuff was given away, all of us desperate to rid ourselves of the painful memories. We only kept the most important things.
Amy’s house was one of the most treasured memories. It was under a tarp, protected from dust and mold. I was tempted to uncover it and see it, but I couldn’t look at it. It was a constant reminder of her, of what she never got to see. The future she deserved, but never received.
Nearby was a much larger object, also protected by an old bedsheet. This one, I uncovered. A large cloud of dust rose in the air, and I coughed, blowing it all towards the open window letting the winter air inside.
The grand piano was almost a foreign sight, its former home being the living room. It was a wedding gift from our grandparents, so it was pretty old. Since I started walking, I’d play it. I took classes for a few years, but with all I was doing at school, I didn’t have time anymore. Church was what kept me connected to the piano in high school, until Amy died.
During Christmas, we would always sing carols. Usually, at this time of year, I’d be rehearsing for the Christmas service at church, with Amy singing. Her voice was so… beautiful. I’d give anything to hear it again— not through my phone, obviously. I wanted her.
Diana looked like Amy, but she didn’t sound much like her. Her voice was a bit higher and quieter. Amy’s voice was bolder, more assertive. In terms of personality, they were pretty much opposites, with a few things in common.
After stretching, I closed the window and sat at the piano. My fingers caressed the keys. It felt so weird sitting here. It was as if I could pretend everything was completely normal.
I hit a key, then another. I tried to think of a song. Amy and I would bond over the piano when we were younger. Recently, though, it had become more of a routine solely for church services. She never felt like singing with me for fun anymore.
I swallowed down tears. She didn’t want to be with us anymore. It was why she wouldn’t tell us about important stuff in her life, things that happened to her at school, accomplishments she’d made. Whenever she did, we’d start cracking jokes. I always saw it as good humor, but after seeing the way she deflated and quieted down, I realized how much we hurt her.
And then there was Diana… who tried to take her own life because of us. I thought it was bad enough when Amy ran away from home.
“Hello?”
I jumped, startled, and stopped the little tune I was playing. Diana came down the stairs with Lonnie in tow. “Tommy? What are you doing?”
“Hey, Di,” I said. “Nothing, just messing around.”
“I didn’t know you played piano.”
“It’s been a while. I’m a little rusty.”
She walked up to me. I scooted aside so she could sit next to me on the bench. Lonnie curled up on the floor. “You always had this?” she asked.
“Yeah, for years. We always played on it. Amy used to sing, I was on piano, Kyle and Jack played guitar, and Harry was on drums. We’d play at our church during worship. We loved it.”
“What made you play now?” she asked.
“I was feeling a bit down about… everything. Shirley, mostly. Thought this would help.”
“How are you doing with that?”
“Fine. She didn’t do anything crazy at school like I thought.”
“It’s gotta be awkward, being around her.”
“She moved, actually.”
Diana looked at me. “She moved? Why?”
“A friend of hers rage-texted me saying Shirley moved because of me. She went to live with her grandmother.”
She raised her brows. “Did you talk to her?”
“Nah, she blocked me. Maybe it’s best. Still, it’s pretty extreme. There had to be some other reason than me… like, that’s where Lucas is now after he got expelled.”
“Ouch,” she remarked. “She was talking to that creep?”
“I always ignored it. But… there were a lot of signs. Even so, I think it’s just physical, unless she’s faking everything she’s posting.”
She chuckled. “Is her username still the same?”
“Uh… I think Kyle sent me a screenshot.” I took out my phone and opened Kyle’s chat, showing her the picture. Instead of @TommyFieldsBaby, it said, @immsosadandlooonely. Her profile picture was changed to Harley Quinn crying, and almost all of her photos below were deleted.
“Not gonna lie… I don’t want to sound ‘mean’, but that’s pathetic.”
I shrugged, putting away my phone. “She’ll get over it. She was cheating on me, so.”
“You seem pretty chill about it.”
“Made me feel less guilty about breaking up with her. I was way too nice.” I tapped on the piano keys again.
“You know any songs?”
“Lots of them. I don’t know which one I should play, though.” I absentmindedly played a tune stuck in my mind.
“Oh, I love that song.” Diana hummed along. She hit all the notes correctly.
“You know how to sing?” I asked her.
She blushed. “I dunno. I’ve never actually done it— unless you count that party, but I was drunk. People who heard me would tell me to shut up, so I assumed I was tone-deaf.”
“No, you’re not. They were just jerks. You know this song?”
“Yeah, like I said, I love it.”
“Let’s try it.” I smiled at her.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll play, we both sing.”
“Uh-” She laughed. “I’mma say no.”
“Come on, Di.”
“No. Not happening.”
“What if I do something for you?” I proposed.
She smiled mischievously. “Like what?”
“I’ll do your chores.”
“Jack’s doing them, remember? We’re grounded.”
“Then… I’ll cook you your favorite meal.”
“You can’t cook!” she laughed.
“Yeah, I can!”
“Not as good as me.”
“Okay, fine. You decide.”
She paused, thinking. “How about…?” A grin grew on her face, making me regret my proposal. “You give me your stash of Tarties?”
I almost jumped in my seat. “How’d you know about-?”
“When it comes to secret stashes, nothing can escape me.” She picked at her nails, her face smug. “Like Kyle’s beer stash. I knew about it months ago. And I know about some other stashes Jack and Harry have.”
My curiosity sparked. “What stashes?”
“Secret.”
“Oh, come on!”
“You’re a tattletale. Everyone knows that.”
“Since when? I helped you out of the frat party.”
“I’ll tell you and sing with you if I get all your Tarties.”
“All of them?” I whined.
“All of them.”
After deliberating, I groaned. “Okay, fine.”
“Okay.” Diana took a deep breath, wiping her hands on her pants. “So… you’re just gonna start playing?”
“It’s just you and me. For fun.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m rusty. I’ve never sung… aloud.”
“I’m rusty, too. It’s fine. I won’t judge.” My fingers ran down the length of the piano. I then positioned them and started the tune.
The song was originally on guitar, so I was a bit clumsy at first, trying to remember the matching piano keys. I then got into a groove and started singing the first stanza.
“Tell me something, girl,
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there something else you’re searching for?”
I flashed a smile at the nervous Diana, continuing. “I’m falling,
In all the good times, I find myself longing… for change,
And in the bad times, I fear myself…”
I played the short solo. “Nice voice,” Diana complimented me.
“Thanks. Your turn.”
Diana waited until I finished the solo, then shakily inhaled, starting to sing. “Tell me something, boy… aren’t you tired trying to fill that void?” Her face turned red. “Or do you need more?” She swallowed. “Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore?”
My fingers found the rhythm, all the memories coming back. It was hard to believe it was Diana singing and not Amy. Her voice was pretty different.
“I’m falling,
In all the good times, I find myself longing… for change…
And in the bad times, I fear myself…”
Diana took in a hasty breath. I expected her to sing the chorus in falsetto, but she surprised me when she belted out the high notes. Her voice cracked at first, affected by her nerves and lack of practice, but it sounded really nice.
“I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in,
I’ll never meet the ground…
Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us,
We’re far from the shallow now…”
I joined in, harmonizing. Both of us smiled. Lonnie’s tongue hung out in a dog smile, his tail wagging. “In the sha-ha… sha-hal-low, In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-low, In the sha-ha… sha-hal-low, we’re far from the shallow now…”
Diana’s voice cracked or wavered a few times as she vocalized, but she hit all the right notes. My heart beat faster, goosebumps rising. This was such a familiar feeling. I could almost hear Amy singing along with us.
“I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in,
I’ll never meet the ground…!
Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us,
We’re far from the shallow now.”
I tapped my foot to the rhythm, singing with her. “In the sha-ha… sha-hal-low,
In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-low,
In the sha-ha-sha-hal-low,
We’re far from the shallow now.” The song ended softly. Both of us smiled, chills shaking our bodies.
“Wow.”
We turned. All my brothers were at the stairs, staring at us. Diana turned away, embarrassed. “How long have you guys been there?” I asked.
“Since the first chorus. We could hear you.” They approached.
Diana covered her face, groaning. Lonnie licked her.
“What’s the big deal?” said Kyle. “That was great.”
She peeked through her fingers. “It was?”
“Your voice needs some control, but… that’s a hard song, Diana. Even Amy had a hard time. You sang it like it was nothing,” said Harry.
Diana pet Lonnie to reassure him she was calm. He turned away, sniffing around the basement curiously. “I think you guys are just trying to be nice.”
“Diana, I heard you. You were great,” I told her.
“You think so?”
“Yeah,” Jack insisted.
She blushed, now flattered. “Then… thanks.”
Lonnie stood on his hind legs, sniffing Amy’s house. I quickly stood to steer him away. “No, Lonnie.”
“What’s that?” Diana asked.
I looked at my brothers. Jack seemed a bit apprehensive, but Kyle gave a shrug. “Why don’t we show her?”
I bit my lip. It was going to be painful… but eventually we’d have to see it. “It’s, uh…” I looked at the others. “You guys want to…?”
“I’ll do it.” Harry stepped forward. After a pause, he gently pulled the cloth off.
My throat closed as I tried to hold back tears. The small, lavender clapboards and violet roofs were enough to pull on my heartstrings. It had taken us so many months to fix it, hours of nonstop work, all hidden here without our parents or Amy noticing. We didn’t want our parents to know because we were using Dad’s tools without permission… and because it was a surprise.
“Wow…” Diana whispered. “Is this…?”
“Amy’s house.”
She covered her face again. “I’m sorry… you guys didn’t have to show me if you didn’t want to. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. We’d have to look at it eventually.” Kyle ran his fingers along the smooth, purple roof.
“It’s beautiful. You guys built this?”
“The first floor wasn’t as damaged, so we used it as a base, and we used Amy’s drawings. She had blueprints and stuff. It’s not as good as it was when she built it, though,” said Jack.
“She designed it?”
“She had a gift.”
“Yeah… she did. It’s so pretty. I don’t see anything wrong with it.”
“I think Mom has pictures of when Amy finished it the first time.” Harry ran his hands across the wall. “Like, here. The paint didn’t settle well.” He ran his finger across a rough spot of paint. “And here. The window’s crooked, and this part of the roof isn’t placed right-”
“Guys, come on.” Diana shook her head at us. “It’s… I know she would’ve loved it. Did you tell her you finished this?”
I nodded. “Yeah. She did see it… just not in person. We just showed her pictures. They didn’t let us bring the whole thing to her room.” The day we planned to show it to her was the day she collapsed and went to the hospital. They didn’t allow anything in her room except smaller things like cards or fake flowers, all sterilized.
“I see. But she did see it, at least. She knew what you did for her— what great brothers you really were.”
A warm feeling settled between us as we stared at Amy’s house together. Even if it wasn’t true… we really needed to hear that.