“Hah…hah…hah…”

“…Diana, weak.”

“S-Shut up…hah…hah…”

We interrupt in the midst of a scene, when Diana was taking a quick rest to replenish the energy she used up. There was still some time before Crystal gets home anyways, so she decided to have a spar to spice things up.

Diana’s entire body was tattered up, and some bruises could be seen here and there, but nothing too major. Luckily, this story wasn't Senran Kagura, or else her clothes would have been torn apart by now~

Anyways, as you can clearly, she got her ass handed to her!

She couldn’t lift even finger towards her! Rei’s speed at moving and her insane attacks just, pummelled her down into a puddle of slime…No, seriously. She used [Slime Valley], and still got her ass handed to her! So, as you can guess, Diana was naked right now, not that it bothered them all that much.

And besides-

“Hey, I’m back-…The hell?”

“Hah…O-Oh…Hey…there…Crystal…hah…”

“…Battle.”

Crystal shrugged her shoulders and dropped the two zombie corpses she had been carrying. It was the ‘Food’ she was sent out to secure. With the ‘Ingredients’ prepared, Rei stood up and carried them deeper into the cave. I’ll leave what happens inside to you.

“Hah…Hah…Ene…hah…”

Ignoring Diana who was spouting nonsense as she took breathing exercises, Crystal sat down and leaned against the cave wall. It slightly reminded her of her old home back at the Crystal Caves, but that’s long past now, thanks to a certain idiot.

After a while, Rei finally came back, with slightly bloody hands. It was interesting to see an enemy she had fought life and death against, now acting all friendly with them after just around a week or so.

Was it luck? Could it be her ‘Soul Magic’ at play there? Or, could it be fate?! She didn’t know, but whatever the answer was, it was slightly irritating to have an enemy join cause and fight alongside her.

*Boink, boink!*

Oh, and Slimey’s back too!

“Hey there…hah…Slimey…hah…”

*Boink?*

“Yeah…I’m…fine…”

*Boink, boink! Boink, boink, boink!*

“…? You…found…a weird place…?”

Oho~! It seems like Slimey has encountered a new place of interest! If only she had Slimey carry a Sheika Slate before he left, she could’ve placed a landmark on it! Not that she had a Sheika Slate anywhere close by.

*Boink, boink!*

“Dark…gloomy…and, zombies…? Isn’t…that this…whole forest?”

*Boink, boink, boink!*

“And…There’s also treasure there?!”

There’s treasure too?! With renewed energy, Diana shot up from the ground and went up to confirm it. And, yep! According to Slimey’s gathered intel, there were some treasures hidden in that place!

“…Catacomb.”

“Eh? Is that what it’s called?”

“…Hidden, treasure.”

“Are they strong?!”

“…Powerful.”

Ooh~, her leftover gamer instincts are tingling~! Even Rei said that it was powerful! Alright, that settles it. Their next destination, is the catacomb!

…Oh, but before that, she should probably put her clothes back on. Wouldn’t want a zombie to assault her when she’s naked and all.

…………………

“Woah, it’s huge!”

Damn, this place was humongous. Seriously, it was about the same size as an entire football field, and this was just the entrance garden! Let’s just hope that this wasn’t a maze, or she would probably die from cardiac arrest…Ah, crap. She probably just jinxed herself.

For now, here’s what she knows:

First off, with the already obviously large entrance, this place was incredibly big. Like, BIG big. Slimey also went in for a bit, just to confirm that it is indeed very big. And yes, it is very big.

Second, this was no dungeon. From what Crystal, a previous denizen of a certain cave dungeon, the magic that surrounded this place wasn’t anything like a dungeon. If any, there seems to be some kind of barrier placed deep inside.

And third, there’s a lot of monsters.

Alright, enough exposition, time to head in!

Following their Slimy tour guide, they made their way into the true catacomb through a hidden staircase that Slimey managed to find by sliming around.

The interior was…very, disturbing. Hanged up upon the wall like some kind of trophy, were countless skulls and bones! And all of them were distinctly human bones too?! Who the hell made this place?!

Well, it is called the catacomb for a reason.

At first, it was a simple linear path, as they walked through a wide tunnel surrounded by rows after rows of human bones. Ugh, and the silence around this place just made it-, hey, did Rei just eat something?

“…Bones, yummy.”

“…………Moving on.”

…Anyways, after that linear tunnel, they were met with their first challenge! It was…

“…Holy sh*t, it’s another maze.”

Yep! Just as Diana had said, their first challenge standing in between them and their treasure, was a maze! It was gloomy, lonely, and was decorated with lovely human bones and graffiti made from dried human blood! Perfect holiday destination!

Thankfully, there was still some genuine lighting in this place, so they could see, but bright or not, it’s still a f*cking maze.

No, you know what? She’s going be smart about this. She’s not going to suffer through that same excruciating pain of making random choices to hopefully find the exit. Nu-uh, this time, she’s going to use her brain!

“I choose you, Dogoo!”

With a twinkle of mana, a trio of dogoos were created on the spot! These three will be their scouts to discover the quickest path to the exit. Ah, but they’ll need codenames, so she won’t get confused.

“Hmm…Ah! I got it! You’ll be…Aika! You’re Ally, and you’re Suu!”

***Boink!***

Still, they were still made from the same palate, so she’s bound to still get confused. So, to make it easier, Aika has one flower on her head, Ally has two, and Suu has three! And, bam! Her secret scout agents have been created!

“Now, go!”

***Boink!***

And with that command, her scout team heads out!

Now then, since she still had a lot of free time left, and since she was bound to get bored soon enough, what should she do in the meantime? If only she still had her phone, she would be crushing candies by now.

In the end, she just ended up talking to Rei about…stuff. It was mostly food, but she seemed to enjoy talking about food, so she didn’t stop her. And it might also help her raise her cooking skill too, so she’s all ears!

Crystal looks at them from time to time, but she seems displeased about something.

And Slimey’s…somewhere. He’s still around this area, just probably roaming around for fun or something.

Crystal and Slimey aside, this was…interesting. Pizzas and Burgers exist in this fantasy world too? Gee, McDonalds seems to be opening their branches all over the place, aren’t they?

Jokes aside, that was, weird. Like, did this world have fast food restaurants? Or was the ‘Pizza’ and the ‘Burgers’ Rei mentioned not the same as the one she knew? That might be, who knows? Ah, wait a minute. Didn’t the Crystal Caves last trial give her a bunch of hamburgers to eat? What’s that about?

On a side note, all this talk about food and stuff was making her hungry. Wonder if those Zombie Jerkies Rei ‘prepared’ earlier were done? And also-

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

*Boink!*

“Oh! You’re back already?”

Woah, that was fast! In like an hour or so, her three slimy scouts have returned! And it seems the one who found the exit was Suu! Good on her~! Diana softly pats her head as she wags her slimy tail.

Well, with the path already found, it’s time to finish this first challenge! That was, surprisingly easy. She’s not complaining though! Anything that was easy, she would take! Still, that was way too quick for a challenge put in a world that had put her through life and death! It’s as if, there was something waiting, and that this was still the warm-up.

And, she was right! Right after they passed through the exit, the true first challenge of the catacomb has shown itself!

Standing their guard upon sight, their bodies poised skilfully in style, their bones rattling across the stone floor, they were,

[The Skeleton Brigade!]

‘……What the hell? They’re all posing like JoJo’s-’

“Oi, dumbass. Get ready, they’re coming.”

“A-Ah, right!”

[The Skeleton Brigade!] was a group consisting of five very powerful skeletons, each with their own skills and powers. They were a perfect group composition! A paladin in front, along with a martial artist, an archer, a spellcaster, and a team buffer! They could probably take on a floor boss from Aincrad like that!

With their intros out and done, the brigade charges in! The team buffer casts a grand buff on the entire team, granting them a small shield to protect them and a nice boost to their attack and speed! The paladin readies his giant shield and charges in, but was intercepted by a swift attack from Rei, coming from the side!

The skeletal paladin was knocked down, but before she could get another hit in, the martial artist jumped and knocked her back, giving the paladin just enough time to get back up and re-join the fight!

On the other side, Crystal was battling against the archer and the spellcaster, engaging in a grand battle of magic and wits! Crystal sends a volley of [Phantom Blades], but the spellcaster quickly casts an array of giant fireballs to counter! The archer sneaks a quick arrow through the chaos, but Crystal quickly evaded.

As for Diana, since the other four were already pre-occupied, she was left with the buffer. And just like a buffer, it couldn’t do much in terms of offence, which made her slightly depressed. Since it couldn’t attack back, the buffer ended up becoming a test dummy for her attacks. Because of that, the team buffer also became visibly sad.

“[Slime Cannon!]”

With the magical boost from her iron wand, a dense ball of slime was launched at high speeds, and crashed into the skeleton’s ribcage! It, didn’t do much. And skeletons were pretty good at reforming themselves, so this was supposed to be no big deal, but something was different this time around!

“Hmm…I guess I can’t call that [Slime Cannon] anymore, can I?”

No, this time, it was no normal [Slime Cannon]! To the skeleton’s surprise, the bones where the slime hit, started to corrode and break down! Albeit, very slowly, but it was breaking down! And that’s bad!

The cause, was this!

[Slime: Corrosive!]

Lv 1/10

A skill that allows the user to change the Slime’s neutral nature to become corrosive. This can be applied to all slime-based skills and magic. Sadly, since the level is still quite low, the corrosion effect isn’t very strong. But I know you can make it better, yeah?

That’s right! In her spare time, she had picked out the first [Skill Points] based skill! Although very slow, this allowed her slime to be corrode things it touched, just like what her slime is doing to the skeleton’s ribcage!

To put it to gamer speak, it’s like a damage-over-time effect that deals damage, over time! It’s like poison, except it’s not poison, but similar!

The skeleton was freaking out! Well, if your ribcage started to decompose before your eyes, I think you would do the same, but that’s a morbid thought so just push that away.

It tried to get the slime off, but that only resulted in it getting its skeletal hands coated in the corrosive slime, further corroding its body! Since this was going to take a while, Diana added another [Corrosive Slime Cannon], further coating it with more damaging slime. Although, watching a skeleton roll around in agony as its body slowly withers was bound to get boring. So, she sat down and decided to watch the other more grand and epic battles.

…Well, she was about to watch the ‘Grand’ Battle, but it looks like the battle had already ended!

The skeletal paladin and martial artist were on their knees as they failed to keep up with the speeding bullet forever-regenerating incredibly strong ghoul that is Rei. Seriously, does this gal have a weakness?!

*Hint* There totally is, because if not, then she would be the most OP character, ever.

Meanwhile, the skeletal archer and spellcaster were trapped inside a deep black dome of countless [Phantom Blades], each ready to move and completely obliterate the two skeletons at a moment’s noti-, oh, never mind, the blades just moved and they both died.

Well, Rei just needed to grind the skeletons into dust, and she’s pretty much the winner. Crystal had already executed her enemies. And for the skeletal buffer-, ouch. No, like, seriously. Half of it’s f*cking skull is like, gone! Holy sh*t. That’s, one hell of a sight.

That was totally not a pun, since skeletons are undead, meaning they didn’t go through heaven and-, ugh, never mind.

Well, so…[Flawless Victory!], I suppose? She kinda felt sorry for the [Skeleton Brigade!]. They seem like a pretty hard challenge, and if she was alone, this would’ve been a great boss fight. But, nope. She had overpowered team members, and all was well and good.

Moving on, since the battle’s over, Diana and co went through the door that just recently opened up, and advanced into the next challenge!

This time, it was-

“W-Woah?!”

Before they could even react, the floor below them suddenly glowed purple, and the next thing they knew, they were standing somewhere else, separated from each other! Heck, even Slimey and his fellow slimes were teleported somewhere else!

So now, we shall firstly examine out main protagonist, Diana! Now, as she stood alone, this second challenge was solely on her! Without the aid of her friends and companions, she must face the threat standing before her!

The beast was gargantuan. Two large horns protruded out from its head. Its body was wrapped around in blue fur, covered in magic. Its two demonic eyes glared a menacing red as it pulsed with mana.

Her second challenge was, [The Great Demon Minotaur]!

“…It kinda looks like that one boss from Aincrad…”

SAO reference aside, this boss wasn’t messing around! The second she entered its vision, the minotaur readied its fists and charged in!

But she won’t lose either! She had spent the last week training with Rei, and refining her skills in battle! She wasn’t fully confident in herself, but she would do the best, no matter how f*cking terrifying that thing is! I mean, it’s literally a demon!

She swiftly jumped aside to dodge the incoming charge, and quickly took out her wand. Sensing the slight ripple of magic, the minotaur turned around to see…bubbles? The minotaur was suddenly surrounded in a prison of bubbles!

After questioning its own sanity for a bit, it swung its arms and popped all the bubbles surrounding it. That’s done, but problem is.

Where did Diana go?

All it could see was her clothing, her small iron wand, and…that’s it. The person that had come to challenge it was now, gone.

Well, obviously not. It took it a moment to realise, but its legs were covered in a sticky slime! That’s right, Diana morphed herself into a puddle of slime, and crept onto the minotaur’s feet as it was bubbling around!

The slime on its feet began to bubble and expand in size, quickly coating its entire body in the slime-, oops, sorry! Corrosive slime was the correct one!

*GGGUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO*

A high-pitched scream of agony sounded out as its skin began to boil as the slime did its work! It wasn’t immediate, since her level was still low and there was a coat of mana sprinkled on its blue fur, but it was working!

She came up with that sneak-up technique after she considered that her [Assassination] skill gave her extra damage if she attacked the enemy while unnoticed, or while it was shocked! It was a technique she made to fight against Rei, but she was too fast for it to work. Nonetheless, against slower enemies, it worked wonders!

But the minotaur wouldn’t stay silent like this! It tried to rip the slime off, but after seeing that it was ineffective, the minotaur used the mana stored in its blue fur, and released it in a resounding mana explosion!

“Damn…!”

In the last second, Diana dislodged out from the slime and jumped back, but the grand explosion still dealt some heavy damage to her. The slime covering it were blasted away, but at the cost of losing some of its stored mana!

Picking up her iron wand, she gathered all the slime in the room, and mushed it up into one ball of densely packed corrosive slime!

“[Slime Cannon]!”

The [Slime Cannon] shot out at immense speed, far above what it had been before. Still, it wouldn’t do much damage, especially since the minotaur moved aside and dodged it!

That [Assassination] damage boost would do nicely here!

*GGGUUUUOOOOOOOOOO*

The minotaur charged in with its fist loaded with mana, and caused a devastating shockwave on impact! Diana managed to jump aside, but the wind force from the punch sent her flying back into the wall. Luckily, she didn’t go through the wall like the dryad did.

Time for her next Spell Card!

“[Slimy Distraction]!”

Once more, Diana collapsed into a puddle of slime. But then, a group of slime Dogoos sprung out from the puddle like some Minecraft monster spawner! The slime puddle disappeared, leaving behind a grand total of 25 Dogoos on the battlefield!

*Boink, boink, boink, boink, boink, boink*

The Dogoos began hopping around everywhere, jumping away and into the minotaur like some badly scripted game AI. The minotaur lost sight of where Diana had gone again, which meant that [Assassination] was fully active now!

*GGUUOOOOO*

The Dogoos were going everywhere! Some were just hopping around, some were clinging onto the minotaur like it was their parent, and some were even going into its eyeballs, which hurt, a lot!

*GGGUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

The minotaur’s fur began to flap wildly, before it released a devastating blast of mana, tearing apart the Dogoos that were clinging onto it in one single swoop! Its mana decreased again, but it was a small price to pay to get rid of these annoying bastards!

Actually, not yet! The Dogoos that were waiting by the side-lines began to charge in and cling onto the minotaur again! And this time, the Dogoos were corrosive too! The corrosion effect was starting to take place!

No, not just the Dogoos, all the slime from before also became corrosive! Including the slime that went inside its body earlier!

*GGGUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO*

It cried out in agony as its whole body burned from the inside out!

[Congratulations! [Slime: Corrosive!] is now Level 2!]

And to make it worse, her [Slime: Corrosive!] just levelled up, further increasing the effectiveness of the corrosion, which meant even more pain to churn the minotaur even further! The agony was unreal!

The minotaur fell onto the ground and began rolling around in pain, twisting and turning as its body burned up! And then, the naked Diana stepped onto the minotaur, her lips curved up into a playful smile.

*GGGUUOOOO-

“Nu~uh, no you don’t!”

The minotaur was about to open its mouth to do, uh…something, but Diana quickly silenced it by feeding it some more of its much wanted corrosive slime! This caused even more pain for the minotaur, yay~!

She is not a sadist, I swear

And, well, all that was left now was just to wait! Sooner or later, this guy’s entire body will corrode and wither away, slowly and surely, from the inside, and the outside…God, that sounds like torture…

And scary thing is…Diana seems to be enjoying this…

She hadn’t actually beaten anything too threatening in a while, and she was getting a bit bored of just smacking zombies and skeletons with her iron wand, so this being her first actual legit win against another monster was very, very satisfying.

*G-GUUOO-

“Shh~. Here, have some more!”

And so, the torture continues! The minotaur continues to cry out in pain, its voice sounding weak and coarse now, probably because its vocal chords just got corroded by her awesome slime powers.

After some waiting, and after feeding it some more corrosive slime, the minotaur let out its last ditch attempt to kill Diana! By literally turning itself into a giant bomb!

“D-Dangerous!”

The mana induced fur it had was quickly heating up, and all the mana in its body was quickly being compressed! The minotaur’s body began to quickly bloat out of control, filled with the raging mana inside, until finally, the bomb went off!

*BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!!!!*

“U-Uwah?!”

The giant explosion sent her flying back, but she was able to somewhat soften the landing using some slime she conjured at the last second. But, still, aah, that hurts~

Oof, her HP was dangerously low from just several hits, but all in all, it was her victory!

[Enemy has been slain! 3500 Experience has been gained]

[Congratulations! Slime Virtuoso has levelled up to Level 2! Your stats have improved]

[Congratulations! Slime Virtuoso has levelled up to Level 3! Your stats have improved]

[Congratulations! Slime Virtuoso has levelled up to Level 4! Your stats have improved]