AN:

Spoiler :

I'm bored and have nothing to do right now.

I mean, uh, days! Yes, days of hard, difficult, trying work, and lots of...uh...focus! Yes! And, uh, effort! That too! I totally didn't write this in an hour of spare time after having consumed copious amounts of sugar!

W-who w-would d-d-do a t-thing l-like that-t-t?!

And yes, I do have a plan for where this is going.

Is it good...?

Does it make sense...?

Would it make you, the reader, feel satisfied...?

...

Let's not ask such difficult questions, eh, reader?

I hope you all realize that this fiction died a long time ago, and Troll is simply kicking its' corpse. I can hardly call this story a joke anymore.

Whatever~ I'll finish this in...three chapters? Yeah, that sounds good. I'll give it a nice, epic last-showdown.

OH!!! I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING AMAZING!

Heh, just kidding. This fiction will die the way it came to life.

On a whim, with no effort whatsoever.

And then three years from now I'll continue it just to screw with you people.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I hate myself.

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Jelkrishs' POV

There's a femur digging into my back...a finger-bone is pricking me in the forearm...it's so boring...why does no one come here...it's been what...three years since I set up shop?...why has nobody come yet...this dungeon totally gives off an ancient-feel...adventurers should be clambering over each other to get in here, providing me with new and interesting corpses to study...my buddy Jeff totally rakes in the bodies, that egotistic bastard...friggin' show-off ruining all of the annual lich-unions...you're not the only one with a dungeon now, jerk-off...why can't I have intruders every other day...?

The skeleton shifts in its' chair, and lets out a sigh. (Even though it doesn't have lungs)

*tap-tap*

It's not like I'm asking for much...just an intruder or two...they don't even have to be powerful, all I want is someone to talk to...

...I'm so alone...

In the distance, beyond the perception of man and beast alike, across walls and barriers, the sound of a set of bones collapsing to the floor reaches the skeletons' ear. (Metaphorically)

My finger freezes, no longer tapping the skull that serves as a hand-rest. I strain my senses, and extend my Dungeon-presence.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

Yes...three living beings. Though, two of them seem to be infected with newborn elementals. The third one...

...nah, I was mistaken. Only two living. I prepare to order my undead minions to converge and wipe out this puny force, and-

In a ring around the two, my minions' presence vanish. Neither of the two presences had moved. What-

In an expanded ring, my minions vanish. Then one after another, they fall. I can no longer keep track of how many have been destroyed, like dominoes falling one-after-another.

56...74...132...243...346...

Gone. Like that.

*Rattle-rattle*

My bones...they're shaking...is this...

...what fear feels like?

I'm shaking. My body is trembling and twitching without my will. I feel something...no. I abandoned feeling long ago. What I'm feeling is a memory.

What was it? How do I interpret this? I can almost feel it, it's on the tip of my tongue...(Not literally)

The last of my minions vanishes, and I raise my Dungeon-Presence upwards, and look down on my abode. Before, I thought I was alone.

But now the dungeon is empty. Everything living and unliving under my control has perished. I am the sole being besides the two outside my door that has any semblance of life.

The only conscious being, in this massive hole. Nothing but two things outside my door.

This feeling...

The doors open, and I see the creatures that strolled into my home, and killed everything inside within an hour.

This is...

...excitement?

The doors open wide, and two men along with a small girl walk inside. Funny, I thought there were only two. Guess I wasn't mistaken after all.

The three look around, and slowly a feeling of confusion fills the room. For several seconds, nothing happens. I begin to wonder what's going on, when I raise my hand to get their attention-

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!

I forgot to put my robe on!!! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! I was so caught up in watching their progress that I forgot to make preparations for their arrival! Shiiiiiiiit!

Calm down. They didn't notice me. Once they turn around, I'll whip my robe on and pretend like I just appeared-Why is the girl looking straight at me!!!!??!?!?

Fuck! Now what do I do? I can't pretend like I'm not here anymore, but if I stand up, they'll think it's weird that I'm not wearing anything, right!? So how do I fix this?

Goddammit, Jelkrish, think! Use that non-existent brain to think of something!

I could cast a fire and water element spell together, and make a smoke screen, but that would be kinda lame for just a lich...

I could pretend that I'm my own servant...yeah, that's a good idea. I can boost my own reputation without it seeming like I'm boasting...ah! But what if they recognize my voice when I'm being myself? What'll I tell them then? Damn, guess that won't work.

Fuck! What'll I do? What'll I say? How will I...

...hah. I give up. I'll just pretend nothing happened. *sigh* (but, not really, cause, you know?)

I stand up, and put my robe on, then deliver the lines I've been practicing in the reflection of the sword behind me for the last three years.

"Welcome, to the resting place of Raphael. The Tomb of Bones, or as I like to call it, home."

My name is Jelkrish, but you would know me better by what I am.

I'm a Lich.

And I'm going to kill you.

Any questions?"

PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!

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Lichs' POV

...

"Yeah, just one. Can I have that sword behind you?"

"...no?"

"Hmm...well, that's a problem. So what you're saying is that, if I don't kill you, I can't take the sword?"

"...Yes. Wait, no...Yes. Can I change my answer?"

"Hmm...how about, you die? Hehe~"

"Ice Swarm."

Dozens of meter-long icicles hissed up the steps and towards Jelkrish. His teeth clacked together, and he raised his left hand.

"Bone-Cage."

The hundreds of flesh-cleaned corpses trembled, and with the sound of a hundred objects scraping against stone, the fallen bones erected huge claw-shaped spires that surrounded Jelkrish, and deflected my spell. Behind the monolith of bone, the sound of teeth clicking together repeatedly sounded.

"Am I perhaps in the presence of an amateur? No true combat-mage would open up with such an easily countered and costly move. Or maybe you are more powerful than I can imagine, and a little spell like this was nothing to you?"

I tilt my head. Then I open my mouth. "Actually, you're the first person who's tried to block my spells. Before, they'd either dodge them, or be frozen. I think this is the first time I'm seeing a spell used against another spell."

The sound of teeth clicking sounded again. Must be how he laughs. "It seems you know nothing of a real magicans fight.

Allow me to educate you."

"Dead Battlefield."

The room darkened by several shades, and the torches began to sputter as if on the verge of going out. Purple maisma began to filter up from beneath the floor, and the bone-towers dispersed, revealing a grinning Lich with a raised right hand full of dark energy. He started walking down the steps, bones trembling as he neared them.

"Do you feel it? The oppressive darkness? Can you see the dead shake at my presence? And a better question, do you know what this means? Because if you don't, I'll enlighten you.

I'm a Lich. I am unlike you mortals who must live in fear of death each and every day. Do you know why?

Because I have mastered Death, and made it my home, my work...

And most importantly, my weapon. Try not to die in the next ten seconds, I've got a lot of steam to blow after three years."

The red pinpricks within Jelkrishs' eyes sharpened to points, and he pointed a single bone finger towards me.

"Rise, Dead Company."

Bones flew from behind him, and lined themselves up in organized ranks. A sound like a two-hundred people jumping at once sounded as the collection of bodies became their original shapes. Red began to glow deep within every skull, and a black mist surrounded them.

When the mist cleared, 250 skeletons stood before me, armed with double-edged swords or scimitars, arrayed with a variety of bucklers and tower-shields, and a collection of breastplates, helmets, greaves, and gauntlets. As one, the skeleton soldiers raised their weapons, and from the dark abyss from whence they came arose a deathly howl.

The undead awaited their masters' orders with a silence that belayed the previous ear-breaking screech. Nothing but the quiet sputtering of torches remained. From among the ranks of undead, the sound of teeth clicking echoed.

"Attack."

Meanwhile, I attempted to not freak out. But, I'm used to failing at things, so I didn't put forth much effort.

I had maybe twenty zambies that will reach me before I'm drowned in this flood of armored, shielded, properly equipped, tall, sexy, freaking stupid skeletons.

Why can't I put armor on mine...?

As I felt saddened, a couple of my zambies came to stand in front of me. And they had armor on.

I pondered this new development, and started to think maybe god didn't hate me. Then I noticed that the miasma coming up from the floor was swirling around both my, and Jelkrishs' undead. In other words...

Any undead that come into this room will be armed with weapons. Meanwhile, any spell I use will probably not do much to all of these skeletons. I should delay until more of my undead can arrive. I reach out a hand to a nearby zombie with a horned helmet and axe, and throw a look at the Jo's.

"Hey Jo, wanna know what happens when I put 90% of my mana pool into one zombie?"

""No, please Lich, no!""

I grin. "Me too."

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AN: Heyo~It's me, the author of this abomination~

I bet you thought I was gonna put the whole battle in one chapter, right?

Wrong.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

But, come on. Jelkrish is the final boss, gotta give im' the spect' ee' deserves.

Well, that, and I've sorta gotten a little attached to im' while not writing. It's an author thing.

(That, and it's late, I'm sleepy, and I think the chapter is long enough to post.)

Let's see, that about sums it up! I hope you like the cliff-hanger. It's become a habit of mine, though I don't know where it started...

Meh, as I say, 'if you make bad habits, keep em'! They'll piss everyone off!'

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I think, as this fiction goes on, I'm slowly becoming more and more sadistic...

...hmm, I think I like the change.