AN: Yay! Zeny's back!
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Feeling somewhat self-conscious after having ambushed someone in a dark alley and drunken their fluid...yeah, it sounds a lot worse in my head. Good thing no one else said anything!
"You know, that seemed a lot like what a wh-"
I didn't bother locating the offender. I just punched both Jo's in their precious place. One advantage of being a girl, I don't have that...particular weakness. Moving toward the loudest part of the city, I decided to engage Plain in conversation. I promptly failed and just walked the rest of the way in silence.
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Tree's POV
Watching the strange midget walk away after having ambushed two adventurers in an alley and taking advantage of them, I reaffirmed what I had already learned a long time ago.
Humans sure are strange...
Speaking of those water bags, that squire is coming down the road. When he came up to me he hoisted himself up into my branches and sat, idly picking an apple and taking up his customary position. I wonder what he's watching...
Suddenly, he dropped the apple. I wanted to hit him in the back of the head for wasting my fruit but-
I'm a tree. Trees can't really move, unless there's wind.
Goddammit...
Why was I born with roots? Why can't I have legs like those creatures that only live a hundred years? Why do they get what I want?
Down the road walked an attractive woman, tall with fair skin and blonde hair. A generous bosom and good-sized caboose. What's a caboose...? I think it means the back. I shouldn't think about it too much.
The squire ran up to the lady and went to one knee, but he got rejected royally. With just one hand, the lady pushed the squire to the side and made room for a large man, who probably hadn't washed himself since his mothers blood was washed off.
As the lady and the pig moved off, the squire walked sorrowfully over to my roots and sat down, seemingly too tired to climb back up. All his energy seemed to have left him, and he looked a like a puppet with its' strings cut. I wonder if I can help him, but-
I'm a tree.
Goddammit!
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Lich POV
"Hmmm...I wonder what it's made of..." I muttered, while examining some foreign jewelry. The shop owner was olive skinned and spoke in an odd accent, but was polite and eagerly pointed out his various wares while telling me all the material that went into making them.
As he was pointing things out to me, a familiar pig-man walked up. He had one massive bruise across the left side of his face, and a very large bump on his head. I felt very amused by the way he screwed up one eye, as he transformed himself into an even closer relative of the pig family. When he spoke, I almost expected oinking to come from his mouth.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
Walking up to the shop owner, he seemed to miss my presence as I stood on the side of his bad eye. He leaned towards the shop owner and opened up with an aggressive taunt. "Hah! You seem to be selling pieces of rock you picked up off the ground, huh?"
I saw the shop owner twitch, and reach under his table.
The pig-man countinued to demean the merchandise, while the shop owners' twitching picked up pace. Finally, the pig-man said some words that made the twitching come to a stop, and the shop owner became strangely still.
"So, where the hell're you from, anyway?"
I stood back and watched, interested at what was to come.
"First of all, my name is Rei. To answer your question, I am from the glorious country of Nihon, ruled by our great Shogun." He replied, in a dangerously calm voice.
"Nihon?! What the fuck is that? Some kind of cesspool you found in a swamp?"
The shop owners' hand started to move, and I heard a strange slither of leather on metal.
The pig-man continued: "And Shogun? Is that some kind of ugly orc you met-"
A flash too fast for my eyes to follow, and suddenly the pig-man was missing a very valuable part of his body. One that was kind of necessary to live.
"You can insult me. You can make fun of my wares. You can even take my country lightly-but to demean my god-filth!"
The man was basically shaking, but sheathed his slightly curved sword with practiced ease.
"Cool sword, can I see it?" I speak up.
He looks over at me, then smiles. A couple guards came over, and when they saw the body's' identity, broad smiles broke out on their faces. They laughed and joked with the shop owner, (He seemed to be good friends with the guards, and called several of them by name) then took the body with them and left, waving goodbye.
"Um, excuse me sir. Why is your "Shogun" so important to you?"
He looked at me, then took on a proud smile.
"My Shogun is the very embodiment of strength. I doubt a gaijin like you would have heard of us, but during my Shoguns' rise to power, me and my buddies were known as "The Fanatics" and we served our Shogun with our body, mind, and soul."
I nodded sagely. Waving goodbye to the strange man who could cut off someones head and have the guards come and clean up the body, I bumped into somebody.
"Oh, my bad! Sorry, I wasn't looking-"
I stopped speaking, looking at the brown haired boy in front of me. He, likewise stared at me.
For some reason, I really, really, wanted to punch him in his stupid face.
"Oh, hi little girl, my name is Nele. What's yours?"