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Lich. The Depressed Necromancer
Chapter 36: A Broken Playground

Chapter 36: A Broken Playground

AN: Well, I've finished my preparations for writing chapters.

Massacred a small village somewhere in the west: Check.

Made hot chocolate to go with the cupcakes: Check.

Bathed in the blood of orphans: Double check.

Oh, whom I kidding? Triple check. You really want to let it soak into the skin, you know?

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Arc III, Part I: The Court

I slowly came to, light gradually returning to my eyes as I looked up from my shaded place from the sun. The back of my seat was high enough that it blocked the sun, and not only that, a large sheet of cloth had been rigged up on six poles blocking my view of the east. In front of me stood several very uncomfortable soldiers dressed in blue tabards, their halberds shining from recent polishing. Their uniforms still had blood stains, however.

One of the younger ones yelled excitedly when he saw my eyes open. and pointed me out to his commander. A man with a plumed helmet came over, then saluted and bowed before stepping into the shade of my small enclosure. "Greetings, I am Captain Nemble Frohn, of the Third company of Infantry."

I stretched out like a cat, enjoying the soft shade, and lounged in my chair, draping one leg over the side. "Captain Nemble Frohn? That's a mouthful. I'll call you Nemy, how about that?"

He seemed confused and sorta hesitent, but I'd already given him a nickname, so he'd forever be Nemy in my mind. I shifted on my chair to the other side, leaning my chin on my wrist. This chair was very big, and kinda hard. Shame it didn't have cushions on it.

I gestured at the cloth above my head saying, "What's all this? When I fell asleep, I was sitting in Plains..."

I looked over my shoulder, and discovered that my chair was actually a very tall and muscly man. No wonder it was hard, he was all muscle and bone. He could've at least had some fat on him, it feels like sitting on a brick wall. We were still at ground level, which was sadly becoming the norm for me, and he was still cross-legged, in the exact pose as I'd left him. Nemy spoke up, a note of awe in his voice.

"Your guardian has been sitting completely still in that pose for the last 48 hours, not moving an inch for fear of waking you. He actually growled at the first couple of guards who tried to rouse you..."

I got up, and stretched to my full height, becoming very depressed as I didn't even come up to Plain or Nemys' chest. The times when I could look grown men in the eye was long gone...well, unless I make them kneel.

That sounds kinda tempting...

I was about to walk out, but realized I'd probably become a pile of ash. Then I noticed once again just how bad my state of undress was, so I stopped and looked at Nemy.

He was currently engaged in an intense stare-off with Plain, Nemy looking intimidated but brave in the face of defeat, and Plain looking like a bull who's tail had just been stepped on. I don't think I've seen that much emotion on Plains' face in all my time of knowing him...

I stayed quiet for a second, absorbing the awkwardness before poking Nemy. He looked down, receiving a hiss from Plain. "W-what? Sorry, my mind wandered..."

I pointed at his coat, a really nice blue one with gold accents. It even had fancy bars over the heart. "Coat. Gimme."

He seemed to want to resist, but having a six-foot-five tall wall of muscle who had recently been soaked in blood was a very compelling argument. The coat was handed over with only token regret, but he seemed to want to cry when I ripped the collar to make a hood. I skipped out into the sun, feeling the heat begin to scorch my legs, and felt the thrill of being a child again. As I started walking in no general direction, all of the soldiers hurried to take down everything and pack it up, before catching up to us. I was having fun stepping only on cracks, while trying to stay in the shadow as much as I could.

Nemy and Plain hurried to catch up, and I found some left over hop-scotch from before the ground broke up. Skipping over it was much more challenging than normal, since half of it was on one side of a four-foot chasm. I jumped off of fallen blocks of stone, ducking under beams of wood that had been displaced from their homes.

I soon arrived back at the sight of the tree, and under the branches were arrayed a dozen or so tired looking guards and a short fence of wood. I hopped over it, then dodged past two of the guards and ran up to the tree. I ran up the trunk and picked an apple, then walked to the edge of a branch, bounced on it like a plank of wood, and sprang the fifteen-feet back to Plain. He caught me and set me down, then took the proffered apple.

I smiled, then started walking towards the castle. If I could find the Jo's anywhere, it'd be at the castle. I walked energetically, shifting my stride from a hopping-skip to a high-kneed leap.

On the way, I addressed my thoughts on what had happened.

So something had risen, it had stolen my mist, then killed nine priests with ease. I didn't buy that it was gone, I 'd felt the power. A hundred, two hundred, a thousand times me? Maybe it was in the ten-thousands? It had fluctuated so much I hadn't been able to tell, but it was definitely a large number. If I was so hard to kill, something like that must be a real pain in the ass for god. I'll have to make a note to buy some fertilizer for that tree...

As for Plain, I had found a new depth of annoyance. Not only did he let me rest for two-whole-fuckin' days, he also protected my sleep while I did it. Not to mention, he'd committed a much more major crime while not present.

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When the thirteen priests had faced me and focused their energies on killing me, I'd felt that I could die, for real that time. It had felt wonderful, ecstatic, and I'd thirsted for it. But...I'd resisted. I'd fought back, and lived, although mostly dead at that point.

When the cannibals ate me, I hadn't believed it at first. There was no way I could just die like that, with nothing happening at all, right? I mean, it had felt as if I slipped into a pond, leaving nothing, not even a ripple, behind as I slid down into the depths.

After that, I hadn't cared what happened. I'd actively sought out death, always being saved by something. So, if I'd felt so strongly that I wanted to die...or, well, more like there hadn't been a reason to live...why'd I fight back when the priests almost killed me?

Plain. Goddamn Plain. Him and his stupid caring about me. He doesn't know the slightest thing about me, and still he protects me like his own child. Damn him to hell, I'll make him pay for making me want to live.

It's just...when I thought about dying the second time, I thought I'd make some ripples. And as tempting as death was...I had a debt to Plain for making me genuinely happy for the first time in...when was I sincerely happy again...? I can't seem to recall...

I hugged the coat closer to me, and bounded up the cobbled path toward the castle, Plain and Nemy doing their best to catch up behind me. While balancing on a low stone wall in some nobleman's' yard, I felt at my stomach. Then I pushed in a little, then a little more, until I confirmed something.

I didn't have organs. The muscle, sinew, skin and bone had all come back fresh as new thanks to the mysterious healing, but apparently it had missed the memo that humans sorta needed hearts...for living, you know.

Hah! Now I can call myself a heartless bastard and have it be a true statement! Except the bastard part...well, actually, my parents adopted me, so I may well be a bastard...all this body-jumping has confused me, okay?

When I made my way up to the gates, two imposing soldiers in full-plate with winged helmets stood in my way. As I neared the gate, they smartly stood to the side and opened the doors. I found this behavior most satisfying, and strutted into the courtyard of the castle. The central keep surrounded by high stone walls stood in front of me, and soldiers all hustled and bustled through the place. The walls were so high, and since it was the start of the day, the entire lower half of the keep was covered in shadow. I cheerfully threw off Nemy's coat and threw it back to him and I jumped and spun into the courtyard.

The second people started noticing me, whispers started. All around, soldiers and labor men all turned to watch me, and I reveled in their attention. I don't know who started it, but first one person went on one knee, then all of them did, as if a very attractive lady had just bent over. I looked around, hoping to get a good view, but I only spotted Plain, and his shirt wasn't even off. Shame...

I stopped suddenly, feeling very foolish. I'd been hopping and skipping, and running and jumping, and now I was starting to let my mind wander into some very dangerous waters...I shrugged, then sprinted the rest of the way to the castle doors.

You can't catch me, gay thoughts!

Besides, Plain is more of a father figure than anything. Even if I would like to see him soaked again...

Correction: Yes we can.

I turned my head, and hurried across a red carpet. Wow, everything was so colorful, you'd think they were having a party. I tripped over a bunch of the red carpet, and did a couple somersaults across the carpet until I bumped my head into a couple steps. I shook my head, clearing my vision, before looking up into the face of the gray-haired old man who'd awaited the siege with me by playing stones with me.

I smiled up at him, ignoring the ridiculously clothed men and women around us, and spoke the first thing that came to mind.

"Hey! Wanna have a rematch...also, why are you sitting in the kings chair? Don't you think that's kinda rude...?" I cupped my hand around my mouth, and said, "They say he's kinda stern, and sorta cranky. Comes with being old, I guess. No offense."

No one said anything for a second, then the old man burst out laughing, and pretty soon the stupidly dressed people around tittered with false laughter.

The old man looked down at me, his blue eyes full of energy. "Sure, I'll have a board set up. You might want to get changed first, I want to give you something, and you're a bit...under dressed."

I shrugged, then hopped up. I turned around as Plain came in, and went over to him. "Hey, you know where I can find something to wear? It's kinda drafty with this on."

Plain face-palmed, and Nemy looked like he felt out of place. "I can't believe I'm in front of the king with this ripped coat..."

I looked around, wondering what Nemy could be talking about. "I don't get it. Which one's the king?"

Plain hit himself again. Must be getting itchy, I haven't punched him in a while.

I wonder why everyone's looking at me like I'm an idiot?