AN: You know what self-motivation is?

Would you tell me?

I'm having trouble with the concept...

-NONSENSICAL RANT INCOMING-

Let's see..."Initiative to undertake or continue a task or activity without another's prodding or supervision."

You see, I get the part about doing..."activities"...without supervision, but it's the doing it without prodding that's confusing me. I mean, how can you accomplish your activities without prodding other people? I mean I may just be misunderstanding the prodding part, but prodding someone is a very important part of my..."activities."

I mean, don't you do that poking thing on the Facebook? Why can't I prod someone when it's not on the Facebook? Is it a rule that applies only to certain social media, and is banned from all other walks of life? I find that very unfair, as I quite like prodding people.

...

I just realized that "prodding" can have quite a few meanings, and my use of it in this paragraph may have confused many people. Let me just clarify, the prodding is not referring to what you're thinking, I'm talking about only the pure, guiltless, and completely innocent action of doing the $3X.

Now that we've cleared up that misunderstanding, let's rant about the poking thing. I've never gone on the Facebook, so I don't actually know what poking is, or what the effects are.

That was a short rant, huh? Back to the main topic...what was the main topic?

Right! Prodding-I mean, self-motivation.

So, I get the self part. Blah blah blah, inner peace, blah blah blah, being whole, blah blah blah, the voices in your head saying "Kill! Kill! Banana!" aren't real, blah blah blah. It's the motivation part that just doesn't click.

You see, the only way I've found possible to write chapters is when I'm in mortal peril. Usually dangling over a volcano on a rotting rope, suspended over an acid-pool filled with sharks, or trapped in a cage with a sugar-high toddler. On second thought, the sharks-in-acid one isn't completely real, it was sharks in lava.

Where was I again?

...

I can't remember, and I can't be bothered to scroll up and re-read what I just wrote, so I'll just end the rant here.

Oh! I just realized! Self-motivation is when you write something, start thinking, "Is that really okay?" and start to have doubts like, "Maybe that'll offend someone...that is probably incorrect...it's most likely illegal..." and then just being too damn lazy to delete it!

Ah, I think I have self-motivated myself the whole way through this fiction. Good job me!

...now I just need to find out what "appropriate" means.

-INCOMING ACTUAL NOTE-

I just remembered that I actually had a reason for putting this note here!

So I was having a quandary, wondering about what I should sorta drag out. I got thinking, "You know, I get the feeling that five-six chapters of people walking around and talking to each other would be sorta boring," So, I was thinking maybe I should hold a poll, but then just now I realized I already did! So, this note is just to inform you that I'll be skipping much of the boring stuff, and get right to the blood n' guts. I don't know why you're here, but that's why I am. :D

Wait...if I'm here, then who's writing the chapter...?

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After I left the kings' throne room, (Still not sure that old guy's really the king) I was shown a nice room with rich furnishings. I was a bit overwhelmed at first, but luckily my childish mind-which became like that because of the body change, not because I'm naturally immature-let me take the display of wealth in stride. A child's' pride is not to be underestimated.

The bath was huge! I mean, for a regular-sized adult it would be spacious, but for four-foot me, it was like swimming in a large pond. Once I'd gotten all the dirt, grime, blood, and brains off my body and out of my hair, (Which was needlessly long, coming all the way to my shoulder blades) I got out and inspected myself.

Even I had to admit that I was adorable. The way my hair was cut straight made it look like I was trying to be more of an adult, and my face seemed made to have a serious expression. It wasn't mine, but it was pretty darn good all the same. On a more serious note, I had two arms. This is as much a surprise to me as it is to...well, I'm the only one here, so I guess it's just surprising to me.

I would have to explore the strange regeneration more fully, perhaps do some tests. Did it only happen if I lost a limb? Perhaps it was a spell? There were too many In-constants. I'd just have to try out everything until I got it right.

I'm gonna need more priests...

For the first time in forever, I got new clothes. As in, clothes never worn by someone else. What have they been doing all this time? How could no one else have not worn them?

I grew up in a big family, (Well, big at the start. Sorta shrunk as time went on...) and was the youngest. Plus, I was an outsider. For whatever reason, I never really fit in with my siblings. When I asked the person closest in age, (My brother Feld) he said that there was something...off, about me. Then we played the, "How quiet can you be?" game, with my family's' own, personal twist.

I never got that. Even though I made them uneasy, they didn't abandon me. Usually, if people thought someone was strange, they were ejected from the village. (If lucky. If unlucky, they were thrown to the bottom of the lake tied to a very large rock)

My clothes were a soft wool, mostly dyed black in respect for all of the dead. Looking at my pale skin, it fit. Which reminds me, I don't actually know what color my eyes are. As I went over to the mirror to check...

I moved to the left, then the right, trying to get the right angle. I waved my hand in front of it, then was about to go tell the king that his mirrors weren't working. I thought better of it, since, you know, vampire. Be kinda awkward if I was chased out so soon after being welcomed in. I'll just be going now...

On my way to the door, I noticed a basket with some funny sticks in it. I pulled one out, and tried giving it an experimental swing. It was covered in cloth, so maybe it was a duster? I found a button on the handle, and decided to push it...

With a sound not unlike getting hit in the gut, the cloth flared out into a large circle. I started panicking, since I'm guessing I broke it, and I myself am broke, besides this is the kings' castle, so everything here must be oh so expensive...

A knock at the door.

I looked left and right, frantically hoping for a place to stash it that wouldn't be conspicuous. The bed was too low, the vases were too small, and the window-the window! I might be able to throw it out if I stuff it in. I run for it, but the stupid skirt catches on my foot and I trip. Down I go, as the door opens.

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I turn around to see a solemn maid stepping in. She takes in my fallen-over state, and the broken thingy, but for some reason starts smiling. "I see you've freshened up, and even found an Umbrella."

I looked at the..what was it called? "Um-bre-la" and shook my head vigourously. "It was an accident! There was a button, and it just whoooshed and then broke, please forgive me!"

She looked confused, then walked over and picked it up, then held down the button and pushed down the cloth. After a moment, it was back to normal. I was about to thank her, but then she pushed the button again and it broke again. She smiled and handed it back saying, "It's supposed to do that. I take it you've never seen one before? That's not surprising, we got these just a few weeks ago, before all this madness. The Umbrellas' are to protect from rain, you hold them over your head, see?"

I took it back and copied her, seeing how it might work. "Oh! That's so cool! Thank you, what's your name?"

She seemed mildly surprised I'd asked, and hesitated in answering. "Elizabeth."

I thought for a second, then shook my head. "Too long, Liz or Bethy?"

She opened her mouth, but I shook my head. "Nah, Bethy's too long too. Liz it is."

She shut her mouth, and just smiled. She told me about all the things planned, like the week-long celebration/mourning for the victory. It would consist of lots of feasting and other things I wished I were alive to enjoy, so I didn't pay very close attention. When she was done, she said she'd lead me to the first feast. As we were leaving the door, I got an idea.

"Hey Liz, can I...keep it?"

She smiled, nodded, and kept walking. Woohoo! I got a souvenir!

The feast was long and tedious, lots of people came and thanked me for something, it was very strange. People seemed to have gotten a little confused.

To them, I was a magican who had singe-handedly repelled the armies that sieged the west gate. They remarked I was quite skilled to have fended off all the undead as well.

Well, that made sense. A necromancer wouldn't be the most welcome of guests, would they? Speaking of which, some people seem to have worked that part out, and were looking at me suspiciously. I'd best get out of here as fast as I can.

While thinking this, someone bumped into me. The person reached out and steadied me, and I was able to get a good look at their face.

In his late thirties yet already gray haired, a somewhat portly man smiled and asked me if I was alright. I nodded, and was about to be on my way when he asked me, "Have you ever heard of The Tomb of Raphael?"

I shook my head, and he motioned to a couple of nearby chairs. "Why don't we sit down, and I'll tell you a story."

I had nothing pressing to attend to, so I went ahead and sat down. He went on to tell me a tale...

Raphael was once a bard, he traveled far and wide, seeing the sights and making a living. One day, however, he came upon the site of a dead paladin. This was a rare occurrence, and one would usually get very far from the site, as anything strong enough to kill one of them would most likely want to destroy at least a city or two. However, Raphaels' curiosity got the better of him, and he went closer to inspect.

What he found was that the paladin had had a great big chunk torn out of his chest, and was very dead. Raphael soon found the paladins sword, and gave it a half-hearted swing. After a couple tries, he found he quite liked the feel, so he set out with the paladins sword in hand. On the road he encountered some cutthroats, and was about to run away, when he felt the weight of metal in his hand.

Raphael walked away from that encounter with all the bandits loot, and kept walking. He was a natural, that much was for sure.

A couple days later some monsters ambushed him. He was running low on food supplies, so...

Pretty soon, Raphael discovered that he had become lost, and so went into the forest and cut apart everything in his way. Soon, he started to enjoy the hunt. After a very long while, he got out of the forest. Raphael, with a new-found hobby, went around eliminating everything he saw. The thing is, he had become so lost in his thirst for blood that he had stopped being able to tell the difference from friend or foe, and had killed not a few towns and villages. For three years, Raphael rampaged and slaughtered, becoming only more bloodthirsty as his strength increased. The church attempted to put a stop, but everyone they sent was killed. Soon, they sent a paladin.

That was the first time two paladins died only two years apart.

There came a meeting of paladins, twenty-three of the warriors coming together, an unheard of number, They set out to kill the monster that had devoured Raphael, and the resulting battle formed a new lake. Three more paladins died, the rest heavily wounded. Raphael crawled away from that battle, and died soon after. The remaining paladins who had tracked him down buried him in a cave as far from civilization as possible, in the hopes that no one would ever find the sword again.

"It's been forty years, and it's said his sword still lies deep within those caves."

I wondered about that. If it was me, and I'd found the sword, I wouldn't tell anyone about it if I found it. I mean, that's just begging for the church's attention, right? But, I do want to get out of here, and that sounds kinda fun, exploring a cave...

"Why are you telling me this? I'm not really the trust-worthy type of person."

The man smiled, got up, then started walking away. "Consider it repaying a favor. You saved this city. I happen to like this city. I'd help more, but...I don't think anyone particularly likes my special brand of 'Help.' (But mostly plot convenience.)"

I thought about this, wondering if it was a good idea. I could possibly get a sword, which would be fun. Not that I'd be able to use it with this body...meh, I'll figure it out. It sounds cool, so why the hell not? I'm not doing anything else.

I found Plain and the Jo's, then told them we'd be leaving tomorrow. I had no need to sleep, so I just goofed around until barely anyone was left. Then I found the king hiding in a small side room. He greeted me with a smile, and we had a rematch.

For some reason, I kept losing.