AN: Potatoes have periods where they just fall asleep. Sometimes they do so in the middle of writing a fiction, sometimes in the middle of amputation. Hey! You can't prove anything! He cut both his arms off himself! Geez...how was I supposed to remember I'd already cut one off before my nap...I should really use a machete, chainsaws are too messy...
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Twitch
Don't...punch...
Twitch twitch
Look away...he isn't there...
Twitch twitch twitch
I can resist!
"hey, are you alright little girl? Your arm is twi-"
"FUCK IT!"
Smack
I upper-cutted him into the air, sending him flying in the general direction of our inn.
Oh well, it's not like he was anyone important...hopefully...
Wait, where did I hear the name Nele...?
......................
...Oh...I remember now...
"FUCK!"
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Trees' POV
There I was, minding my own business, being a tree, when someone fell from the sky. Luckily for them, my leaves and branches broke their fall so they only got some scrapes. After a couple seconds, the sky person started groaning and shifting around trying to get down. For the first time in a several minutes, the squire moved, looking up.
When the squire saw who the sky person was, recognition slowly dawned on him, and he hurriedly helped the person down from my branches. The squire frantically wiped the dust off the sky person, and inquired whether the man/doll was alright. I wondered whether it was a doll because even after falling from the sky, he still retained his perfect hair. How the hell...
After a short discussion on where the sky person came from, I learned to avoid small girls. They are apparently very deadly. A large bruise was already showing up on the sky persons' chin. How much force would you have to produce to send someone flying like that...well, I have plenty of time to think about it. After all,
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I'm a tree.
Fuck.
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After having possibly started a war, I did what anyone would do.
Sitting in a modest restaurant, me and the jo's ordered food. Plain was off shopping somewhere. He said he needed some cloth for "reasons."
...Is he secretly a drag queen...?
...
I'm not gonna dwell more on that. Unless I have more resources in the future. It would be interesting to see him in woman's clothing...
Trying to pull my head away, I looked at the menu. Piranha, shark, sea monster, serpent, electric eel-why are all of the things on this menu deadly?
As I was pondering, a waiter came over and we ordered our food. When I asked him, he explained. "Well, the thing is, everything else was killed by the deadly fish. Thus, the cheapest way to fish is to just hire some warriors to jab some spears into sea monsters. More seafood for less work. Sea monsters are pretty big, and with the right techniques nearly anyone can kill some. Except for the really big ones..."
As I heard this, I started making some plans.
Octopus skewers...hehehe...
In the middle of our meal, Plain came back. I tried to ask him about the cloth, and I received some awkward excuse. Hmmm...could he be bi? I mean, I know girls have that kind of thing once a month, but to think...well, maybe that's why he's so unresponsive. I'll just wait a couple days.
Of course, as my luck would have it, a fireball fell on our table.
If I have said this once, I have said it a thousand times.
God, I give you my sincere opinion of your care of me.
FUCK YOU