# Ch.8: Dangerous seas

The foxes named after keys on my keyboard had entered the ship without a fuss.

Now they had to figure out how to use it.

F1: We're at the bridge.

F5: Yes, I noticed!

F3: Do you know how to pilot this ship?

F2: Well, I don't think I have seen anything like this.

F5: We were all animals until minutes ago! Do these morons expect us to-

J: Sit.

F5: AHHHH!

F6: Huh? Where did that come from?

J: We own you. That includes your thoughts.

F2: That's ominous.

Z: We can see what you see too.

G: You're just making it worse.

F6: If that's the case, can you help us pilot this ship?

G: Yes!

F6: ...

...

Z: There should be a manual on a shelf to your right.

F4: But we don't know how to read!

F3: That book seems to be around two hundred pages long.

J: You can't read but you can count!?

G>F3: Faber can, so that's nothing to worry about.

F1: Let's see...

F1: 'Battle cruiser manual'. 'Index: 1. Specifications. Page 2. 1.1 Rooms. Pa-'

J: Get to starting up the ship!

F1: ...'To start up the ship, insert the main engine keys.'

F4 grabbed the keys.

F4: W-Where?

J: In the keyslot!?

F5: He must be stupid. We all now how key-. Well, that key looks kinda weird.

J: IT'S. A FUCKING. DISC DETAINER KEY.

F6: A what now?

J: You know what? I'm out.

*footsteps*

*door closing*

Z: There will be no more cookies until you figure out how to pilot this ship.

G: Sorry.

F6: Awww...

After fiddling with the controls for a while, the ship finally got moving.

F2: Yay!

*Door opening*

*Footsteps*

J: Alright, finally!

F6: Can I get a cookie now?

J: No. You have proven to be astoundingly unfit.

F6: Pretty please?

G: Oh, I can't say no to you.

J: *Grumble*

A tentacle appeared from a hole in a wall and gave her a cookie.

F4: Wait, YOU'RE IN THE SHIP!?

F3: How did you fit inside?

Z: Apparently... "A" put a mini copy of our body inside of the ship.

F5: Then why do you need for us to kill-?

J: Shhh!

Z: It's still the size of a swimming pool.

F2: Oh, Oh! Can I swim in it?

J: No! Z: Dunno. G: Yes!

F2: I... Think I'll pass.

J>F5: Also, everyone seems to have an ID, and we can't fake that.

F5: What about us then!?

J: You'll manage. Now go south towards the main continent.

F4: Are y-you sure there are no dangerous monsters in the sea?

Z: We are sure there are. There's at least some the size of a galley.

G: Those poor sailors...

F4: C-can I leave?

J: No.

F4: ...

Z: This ship has better equipment than most.

you can deploy some torpedoes if necessary.

F1: Don't those require three men to load?

J: AND YOU KNOW THAT!?

Z: I mean, it depends.

We have automated loading so it doesn't matter either ways.

J>F3: You know what? Let me just check your brain for a sec.

F3 got knocked out.

F2: Is Filbert going to be fine?

Z: I don't know how "A" works with souls, so I don't know.

G: Me neither.

Z: Watch out for that reef!

F1: I got distracted. Sorry.

A few minutes passed.

Suddenly, a kraken got a hold of the ship.

F4: AHHH! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!

F6: It's fine, what could a little squid do?

F4: I DON'T THINK THAT SQUID IS LITTLE AT ALL!

Z: She is right. There is no way such a small squid could sink us.

A tentacle patted her head.

F6: (UwU)

Then the ship started sinking.

F5: Liar!

Z: This is what happens when your enemies don't obey physics.

F1: We have torpedoes.

G: Yes! Now fire them into the squid!

F2: And what button would do that?

F6: By the way, where's the bathroom?

F4: BY THE WAY, W-WHERE'S THE LIFEBOAT?

F5: BY THE WAY, I DON'T REMEMBER SIGNING UP FOR THIS.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

G: One at a time, people!

Z: Please everyone but Faber step out of the controls.

A bunch of tentacles came from the walls and started handling the controls.

F5: And why didn't you do that on the first place!?

G: Because you're supposed to drive while we do other stuff?

F5: Like what, baking cookies?

F6: Hey! They are really good cookies!

J: Guys, I finished. Did I miss anything?

G: Nah man. We just got attacked by a kraken.

Z: I'm on it.

J: Good!

F3: Where am I? Who am I?

G: Is he fine?

F5: How long does he has to live, doc?

J: Go lick his face so he wakes up sooner.

F5: GODDAMMIT!

F3: Hahaha! That tickles! please stop!

F5: *mlem* Can't *mlem* stop. *mlem*

Z: Alright, launching torpedoes now.

The kraken may have been able to scam its

way into pulling on a ship 5 times its size,

but it couldn't argue with several hundred kilos of ONC.

F2: Begone, ugly squid!

Z: Please slow down the ship. We have to pick up the biomass.

F4: Wait, what?

J: It is standard strategy to resupply whenever possible.

Also biomass is a pain in the ass to make from scratch,

so you'll have to choose between calamari and MREs.

F6: What about cookies?

G: Too many can be bad for your health.

Z: I am not synthetising that many cookies.

F3: What is an MRE?

J: Ok, I'll bite.

Imagine if you had a meal, but it was only the main dish, snacks and dessert.

Now imagine If the main dish was only junk food.

F3: What is junk food?

J: *Sigh*, Imagine if someone grabbed a bunch of flour and just added spices,

until it tasted somewhat like food, then baked it until cooked.

J: You know what flour is, I checked.

J: Now imagine if someone dropped enough

salt on it that even the rats wouldn't eat it,

packed it tight in a bag, smashed it a bit,

and then cooked the bag just to make sure sure it was inedible.

F3: Why would anyone do that?

J: Well, since even the rats won't touch it,

you can keep it on a pile for years,

and whatever ingredients it has won't kill

you until at least a month of eating them.

G: You're exaggerating. The pizza flavor wasn't THAT bad.

It even resembled pizza!

J: I have seen you eat hundred year old rations. You have no say on this.

Z: We all did that time.

J: But I didn't like it!

F2: Uhh, I think that I will have calamari.

F6: Me too.

J: Anyways, I found out that Filbert's brain is full of incoherent rubbish.

It's a miracle that he can even form a single word.

Now I want to compare it to someone who isn't a bumbling moron.

J: ...

J: Whatever, I'll just pick Frank.

F5: Wait, what!?

F5 was knocked out.

F4: D-Didn't he create our minds?

Z: Yes.

G: "B" can steer the ship. Does anyone want dinner?

F1-4&F6: Yes!

All the foxes were seated at the dinner table in the canteen.

Including F5, who was still unconscious.

They were given calamari alongside some seaweed salad,

and vitamin fortified fruit juice.

They even made sure that the food didn't contain any toxins. How nice!

G: So, could you guys dress up?

F6: Why? It's pretty comfortable in here.

G: Well, I'd rather not have to stare at your...

Z: Genitals.

F2: Awww! But I like being naked!

G: Alright, fine. I'll let it pass.

G: Weren't you piloting the ship, 'B'?

Z: I can listen on the conversations just fine.

G: Alright, alright. It's getting late isn't it?

F4: Yes, the sun was already setting when we departed.

Z: It is the equivalent of 10 o' clock.

F4: What!? How do you know!?

G: There are clocks everywhere on this ship. Look to the wall on the right.

F1: I didn't notice.

F4: You can read that circle!?

F1: Yes.

F5: Ah, fuck!

F2: He woke up!

F5: I feel like I had a hangover... Do you have some whisky?

F2: What now?

J: Hah! Now I'm not the one who has to answer!

Z: So what are the results?

J: Everyone's got their brains fried. F5>F2: You see, whisky is this kind of

booze that looks like sewage water but without the cloudiness,

and tastes like roasted wood with a lot of alcohol.

F2: And why would you drink that?

F5: It makes you feel funny.

F2: That's it?

F5: All my friends seemed to like it.

F2: What friends?

F5: I... Don't know.

J: What a self-proving example!

Since your minds are about as coherent as those of an S/M folk,

We'll have to discuss what we know with each other.

F6: *yawn* Maybe tomorrow?

F4: Aren't foxes crepuscular?

G: I'm feeling kinda tired too, we can talk later.

J&Z: Me too.

F4: Wait, who's gonna pilot the ship?

J: Faber, pilot the ship while we're sleeping.

F5: I remember very explicitly you not moving

an inch since I was born as a fox, until very recently.

J: How old are you anyways?

F5: Dunno.

Z: If we assume giant foxes develop the

same way as normal ones we can assume...

J: Ow! Stop dropping books on my head.

Z: Sorry. Guy, could you do this? I am busy with the ship.

G: Well, I consider myself rather good at anatomy.

Some tentacles "probed" F5. It was mostly visual inspection, I swear!

F5 didn't feel very good about it anyways.

G: He should be around two and a half years old.

F5: Well, having you doze off for two years wouldn't be nice, now would it?

J: Bah! For all we know you could have spawned in from nothingness.

F5: No. I remember being a cub: the sun, the springs...

J: Have you thought that there's a set amount of springs in a year?

F5: No?

F5 was sprayed with a water atomizer.

J: Anyways. Faber, if we don't wake up by morning, swap places with Filbert.

He's probably the second least dangerous at the helm.

And continue your missions.

If anything dangerous happens,

poke our center of mass with a stick and pray it wakes us up.

F3: Where is your centre of mass?

J: GODDAMMIT!

After being shown their rooms, everyone but Faber went to sleep.

Faber kept piloting the ship. He kind of liked having a new boss,

even if it didn't make much sense to him.