# Ch.50: 2KY old

One GOD EMPEROR, one crime against nature, you know the deal.

He was busy painting his overpriced figurines

when That Guy came to ruin his day.

Z: How much time have you wasted on that?

E8: Go away, antisocial.

Z: On the contrary, I am a realist. How can a society stand on silly games?

E8: These isn't just a silly game, idiot. Look at the board,

lives are at stake.

Z: All the more reason to criticize.

You think you are fair because you have rules, but they are not true.

How can a board game compare to reality?

E8: Reality isn't fair, goddamnit! Here everyone starts off the same,

and plays the same game.

Z: But a game it still is. The destiny of men is not for you to decide.

Z: Also, I have heard that paint is toxic.

E8: What- *Urgh*

Z: I have been running out of patience with your types.

E8: Y-you never had any!

Z: True. I honestly have better things to do.

E8: You!? *spewing foam*

Z: You would never know, for you have never left the board.

That Guy left through the door, leaving the GM to rot.

Meanwhile, Le goupils were waking up to the sound of a songbird.

F6 went to the suite's balcony, grabbed the robin, and ate it whole.

F6: Mmmm... Needs some salt.

She spat out the inedibles.

F2: *Nudging F4* Hey! Wake up!

F4: ...Uhh, why?

F2: Because you will have to wake up eventually! And I'm bored!

F4: Well, at least it's better than having-

J: I DIDN'T RAISE TORVALDS! WAKE UP ALREADY!

F1: Yessir!

F4: I'm really hungry,

but I don't think that I can eat that restaurant's food.

F1: We could go fishing. Is there a pond nearby?

G: Actually, yes! It's thirty minutes away if you call a taxi.

F6: I could have saved you some.

F4: Thanks, but I think that I prefer birds cooked.

The yiffers visited the local pond.

G: This pond is mostly clean.

F4: Mostly?

G: I mean, someone has lost the odd boot here and there,

but it's probably safe.

F2: What should we do now?

J: Fishing?

F3: I do not know how to act like a fish.

J: I mean, just fish the- catch the fish!

F6: With my hands?

J: No! *disappointed exhale* ...Faber can explain.

F1: So, here is a cast net.

F6: *grabs net* Alright.

F1: First, you should tie the string to your left wrist.

Then, grab the net at about one extended hand from the end with the string.

F6: Uh-huh.

F1: ...With your left.

F6: Oh.

F1: Join the end you are grabbing at about one third of the length,

and pass your... Rightmost weight over your forearm.

F6: Mm-hm.

F1: Pass about half of the weights to your knee,

grab inbetween those weights and your other hand.

Then twist to your left, and throw the net while

extending your arms and reaching forward with your left.

F6: *Casts net* Ok.

F1: Now drag the net towards yourself.

F6 caught two (2) minnows.

F1: I will need one of those.

F1: Filbert, do you think you can dive and find some mussels?

F3: How do you know there are mussels in here?

F1: *Points at mussels in pond*

F3: Oh.

G: You can also try to harvest the lotuses.

F2: Can I go for a swim?

G: Sure, but please bring back some food.

F1 used the minnow as bait, then cast his rod.

An inspector came to bother them after a while.

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He had not done so earlier because he was

busy reading a Pike Pro Shops(R) Catalog.

Fortunately and through the power of hypnosis, he was told to piss off.

F5 was setting up a campfire in the no campfire zone alongside F4.

F5: It kinda makes it too easy, you know.

J: Would you rather risk your life?

F4: I think it's fine. How am I supposed to eat this fish?

Z: You can eat it whole if you want.

You could also boil it, but we do not have any spices or oil.

F4: Yeah, I think that I will have it boiled then.

After around half an hour, F1 caught a channel catfish.

They had minnows, lotuses, mussels and catfish for breakfast.

F3: It really would be better with some spice,

but it is better than that restaurant.

F5: Anything is better than that restaurant!

F6: I think it's fine.

G: We'll wait for 'A' to finish and then visit the twins. Is that alright?

F2: What is he doing now?

G: Apparently he's messing with the emperor from the previous country,

but I really don't want to check.

Z: He definitely is.

F3: How long will he take?

Z: He should be done by the evening. I will probably call him anyways by then.

F1: Now we should just wait?

Z: You can have some fun if you want. There is not much to do.

F2: Oh! Can I have a beach ball?

G: Sure!

F1: May I buy some spices for lunch?

G: No problem.

F1: ...Could someone accompany me?

Z: What are you, three?

F1: I just like the company, sir.

Z: You need to be capable of being alone sometimes.

F1: ...Sure. I will go get the salt.

Afterwards to some irrelevant time-wasting events to maintain plot consistency,

and F1 managing to get actually palatable salt,

the nigh-Teumessian foxes visited the twins ['s] address.

The building was like the Twin Towers but much taller,

with aircraft runways bridging between the

sixtieth and eightieth floors for extra lawlz.

After smashing the door bell on the shared reception,

the motherfoxers finally managed to get their attention.

In an attack against plot verisimilitude and an ode to typographic rivers,

the twins quickly answered in a friendly and coordinated manner,

via the intercom.

E15: Hello?

F5: It's Joe.

E16: Uh, Joe who?

F2: *snicker*

F5: Haven't you heard of me? I have been running as Terr for representative.

E15: No, I haven't heard of any Terrs.

E16: Let me check my contact list for a sec.

F5: Second name Mash?

E15: No I don't think I have heard of Joe Mash-

E15&16: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

F2&5: Hahaha! F6: Hahaha.

F1: *ahem* Sorry for that. We just wanted to give you a visit.

E15: ...It's fine. We don't get those kinds of jokes often.

E16: Well, we aren't just going to be jerks and kick you out then.

You can accompany us for dinner.

F2: Wow, really?

E15: Yes. No strings attached.

The brush-possesing true northern beasts were invited for dinner.

The twins looked like eighteen-year olds, and were physically similar.

F3: Thank you for inviting us.

E16: It's not a big deal. We really value hospitality.

E15: Oh, what would be a world without love,

where no man can rely on the other?

F4: The same as it is now?

E16: You're mostly correct on that.

E15: Well, not all people are bad, am I right?

F3: Right...

F6: We brought you two cupcakes.

E15: Can I see?

F6: Sure.

F6 gave a radioactive, nerve-agent laden fairy cake to each of the twins.

Not that they knew, of course.

E16: So, what brings you here?

F3: Oh, we were travelling and wanted to know you.

We heard you had great generosity.

E15: Well, they don't get that wrong.

E16: The cream filling is alright. Where did you get the banana flavor?

F2: That's a trade secret!

F16: Wow, what a tease.

F6: I'm going to the bathroom.

E16: To the left, straight, and to the left again.

E15: *eating fairy cake* Mmm... About that generosity thing,

we have always desired a world were people would be for each other.

F1-5: *nodding*

E16: But you know how it is. People will be greedy and not bother.

E15: But as long as we draw breath, we will be loving.

J: Which will not be long, by the way!

A few minutes later...

E15: Ugh... I feel sick. I'm going to the bathroom.

E16: I will keep them accompanied... Catch up with you later.

F6: Hey, I came back.

Unfortunately, the bathroom was filled with explosives,

and the other twin was shot dead.

This is the hater's club, no love allowed.