# Ch.10: Professional babysitting
It was yet another day on the ship, which was done a whopping sixth of the way.
This time, the foxes had Cattail bread and "spam".
F4: What is that pink thing?
J: Eh, I just blended some animal insides and stuffed them into a can.
F4: Ew.
J: Hey! Don't get picky now!
F3: How did you make bread out of cat tails?
J: My day didn't even start and it's already ruined.
G: Cattails are a plant; you can get starch out of them.
F6: In other news, I tried out that thing from sex ed-
G: Gah! Don't tell me!
Z: You are an absolute pervert, "A".
J: Hey, as long as they do their jobs...
F1: My job will always be first. I can assure you.
J: Go get a personality Faber. You're boring.
F1: How should I do that, sir?
J: Drop the "sir". If anything, I'm your owner.
Second, go read a magazine or something, see what you like.
F1: Yes master.
J: Ugh...
F2: By the way, how did you manage to print so many things?
Z: The data already existed, so I designed an algorithm...
F2: What?
Z: I hit a few buttons in the office and items came out.
F2: Ohhh...
G: Hey Frank. Don't you have anything to say?
F5: Mmmm...
J: I can read your mind, by the way.
F5: DAMMIT!
F6: Well, what is it?
F5: I feel like they're treating us like toddlers.
F3: It IS true...
J: Because you ARE!
F5: Oh come on! If I remember smoking then I must be a big man! Right?
F2: I don't follow.
F5: ...
F6 compared her height with F5.
F6: Eh...
F5: *Holding back tears*
F4: If the cool kids did it at school...
F5: *Audibly sobbing*
Z: The answer is no.
F5: FUCK ME!
F5 started crying. Real bad.
It didn't make him look like a big man.
F6: So noisy... Here, here.
She held his face to her bosom.
F5: *crying newborn sounds*
F6: Help, he isn't stopping.
J: This fucking idiot... I'm out.
Z: Ditto.
*footsteps*
*door closing*
F1-4: ...
F2: Hey, don't sweat it! We've all been humiliated!
F5: *crying intensifies*
F4: You just made him remember!
F2: At least I tried!
F3: They say that the weakest are those who pretend to be strong.
F6: Where did you get that pipe from?
F4: Are those bubbles?
F3: *blows bubbles from pipe*
F1: I-I don't know what to do.
G: Don't worry, I'll help you.
G: Frank, I know that this must feel hard on you.
Even I once doubted my manliness.
F5: *sob* R-really? *sniff*
F4: Does that even make se-
G: Yeah.
Back then I thought that being a man was
about what the others thought about me.
They said "If you're a man, do this!" and so I did.
I thought that if everyone else thought I was a man, then I would be one.
But that was never enough for them, and even after all the trials,
I never really felt like a man.
It was 'A' who explained that real manliness
could never come from someone other than myself.
Why would a manly man need to get wasted, Frank?
F5: I. Don't know...
G: You don't need to.
You're a young, healthy fox.
You don't need booze to do great things.
G: Now, do you need to smoke to be a man?
F5: N-no?
G: No.
Why fill your lungs with soot when you can adventure and come back with loot?
F5: You're right...
G: Now tell me, if you're a man,
do you need anyone to tell you that?
F5: No.
G: And if some sissies tell you that you aren't a man,
do they have the right to say that?
F5: No!
G: Then tell me! Are you a man!?
F5: YES!
G: I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SAY IT AGAIN!
F5: YES! I'M A MAN!
G: DO YOU NEED BOOZE TO BE A MAN?!
F5: NO!
G: DO YOU NEED CIGARS TO BE A MAN?!
F5: NO!
G: CAN ANYBODY TELL YOU OTHERWISE?!
F5: NO! I DON'T NEED THEM! I'M A MAN, GODDAMMIT!
And then everyone clapped.
...
I don't know psychology.
*door opening*
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*footsteps*
J: Are you done?
G: Yeah.
F6: Wait, so 'A' is the one that helped you?
G: Yep.
F2: Awww... Cute!
J: Just because I can do it doesn't mean I like it.
F4: Hold on, you did this to help Frank?
J: Huh?
J: Oh sure! Of course I did it for him.
Z: Figuratively speaking, you just stabbed him until he bled out and collapsed.
J: Well, it worked, so you have no right to complain.
F3: Will we all go through something like that?
G: That's up to you.
Z: It depends on how attached you are to your flaws.
F1: That begs the question, of what our flaws are, master.
J: Oh, let me get my long, long observation list.
J: Faber, you have no individuality.
F1: If you say so, master.
J: *rolls eyes*
J: Fifi, You're too innocent.
F2: Aww.
J: Filbert, you're too absent-minded.
F3: But what does that entail?
J: Finn, you are too easily frightened.
F4: Really!? P-please don't do weird things to me.
J: Frank, you were too prideful, but that should be fixed now so you're fine.
F5: Nice.
J: Freya... You're fine.
F6: That's neat.
J: Maybe TOO fine. Are you sure you aren't hiding something?
F6: Yes?
J: *squinting aggresively*
F6: ...
G: You can tell us if you have any concerns.
F6: Why is it such a big deal?
J: Because A, your brains are still scrambled,
and B, actually stable people are ridiculously rare.
Z: For all we know, you could wake up one day as Mister Hyde.
F4: W-what? *Don't know what means but doesn't sound nice*
J: You heard him. This is why it's important to inspect any outward signs.
F5: Why not just scan their brains?
J: Even I can't see deeply repressed stuff,
so it's only useful as a cursory view.
J: Either ways, I will have to check your brain for a second, Freya.
F6: Ok-
F6 was knocked out.
F5: I don't think that 'A' is on the list of "actually stable people".
Z&G: Agreed.
G: Anyways, time for some classes!
All the foxes were sent to the library.
This time, they waited for F6 to wake up, and she turned out to be fine.
Then they had some more classes on basic literacy.
F1: Alright Fifi, can you try reading this sentence?
J: *Sips teacup*
F2: "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog".
Jack spat out a mouthful of Mobilk-1 onto Zack's face.
Z: That was quick.
F2: Is there a problem?
G: No, we just didn't expect you to learn this fast.
F2: That's great! Can I get my doll?
G: Yes!
A tentacle gave her a doll.
F2: Yay!
J: HOW!?
F2: Well, I think that you're a great teacher, A!
F3: May I try reading too?
F1: Master?
J: ...Yes, write another sentence.
F1: Roger.
F3: There it says: 'Tiffany & Company clocks.
Fifth avenue & 37th street'.
Jack's jaw fell to the floor, and then some more.
G: You really like clocks, don't you?
F1: I think that is true, master.
Somehow, everyone had learned how to read and write in two eight-hour sessions.
They also learnt basic math!
Z: What is two plus two?
F4: Four!
Z: What is two times two?
F5: Four.
Z: What is four times seven?
F6: Uhhh... 27.
Z: It's twenty-eight, but close enough.
J: Ok, since you now have basic skills,
It's time to train you in more specialized things.
F4: Like what?
J: You need to be prepared for espionage, combat and diplomacy.
F4: C-combat?
Z: Yes.
G: Don't worry about it, you're supposed to avoid it.
F4: And i-if it isn't possible!?
G: That's why you have to learn combat.
J: Diplomacy comes first, since it's the easiest and safest method.
Now you'll have to dress up for real.
F2: Aw.
Some tentacles brought a clothes rack with a few onesies.
G: As you can see, this world's sense of fashion is not very unique.
F5: Wait, is this what EVERYONE wears?
G: Yep.
Even things without your usual amount of limbs wear this drab-looking things.
F6: Hold on, don't you wear-
J: Shhh!
Z: No, it's fine. I checked, and they cannot see us here.
J: Really?
Z: Yes.
J: That's great. What were you saying, Freya?
F6: Now I have a bigger question: Who are "they"?
G: Well...
Z: The eight deceivers.
F1: You mean the eight go-
J: THEY ARE NOT GODS!
A bucket full of ice water was poured onto F1's head.
F3: But why?
J: If you stick for long enough it will be self evident.
Now, the thing is that they can spy on almost everyone,
except for certain places and realms, like our office.
This is why you need to keep shut about our motives.
F1: Can I have a towel?
A towel was thrown at F1's face.
F1: *with towel in face* fenks mashtar.
F3: Weren't we talking about clothing?
F5: And you're the one to say that!?
G: Ah yes, literally everyone on this world wears them.
Even royalty wears them, although with more accessories and flashier stuff.
F2: Can I have a prettier onesie then?
G: Unfortunately no. You can't afford to stand out that much.
F2: Aww.
G: The outer world is harsh, I know.
F6: Oh, I just remembered.
Weren't you wearing all kinds of clothes in your office?
J: It's a mental realm.
Nobody can break down our door for wearing the "wrong" things.
F4: That happens out there?
J: I mean, probably.
At least one person got beat up for wearing a flower on their head.
On their back yard.
F1: Was that person evil, master?
J: What!? No!
Faber really was a bootlicker.