# Ch.27: A job well done

After "convincing" the man at the counter to give them a license,

the discount furries went to do their job.

Since they weren't going to be seen, they could go with their full gear.

Inside a smelly sewer. Fortunately they had air filters.

F2: This is awfully big for a sewer.

Z: That just shows you how city planning works in here.

F2: How exactly?

J: You don't need it when everything's made big enough. That's how.

F3: I wonder the cost of all this.

G: I guess that isn't a problem when you're the king.

J: Anyways, shitty planning and dubious waste policy has led to mutant gators.

So clean them up.

F6: Wouldn't killing them make more of a mess?

J: Just do as the contract said. We got rid of the poison rounds.

J: Hold on.... What the hell, just dump the poison into the water,

that should be faster.

G: What about the citizens?

J: Citizens schmitizens. We're here for the money.

Then they dumped a shitload of poison into the water.

J: Now for the second part, tear apart their heads so they pay us.

Z: Since they're mutants, beware that they may play dead.

F4: Uh, thanks for the advice!

Fortunately, the sewers had passageways,

so they didn't have to swim everywhere.

F2: Why are there alligators in here anyways?

J: Little Timmy must have flushed them down the toilet.

F5: And how could he get away with it?

G: "Down the toilet, not my property!" Or something like that.

F1: I find that very irresponsible from part of the citizens.

J: Because anyone responsible would get the fuck away from this dump,

And we're being paid to solve THEIR fuckup. So nothing wrong here.

F4: But isn't then this quest good for everyone?

J: Ignoring everyone who lost their wives and wallets, sure!

F4: I'll just shut up.

F3: They say a closed mouth gathers no fist, or sewage water in this case.

F2: Ew!

Then, a giant, mutant alligator appeared.

However, it was weakened by the poison so it didn't catch them by surprise.

Only reptiles were harmed.

G: I guess that should cover it. How about we call it a day?

F5: Definitely.

F1: As you say.

After rinsing off, they claimed their bounty and left for some lodging.

The lodging was rather expensive, of course.

F3: We'll need a room for six.

999: We don't have such things in here. How about two rooms for four?

F3: And how much would that be?

999: Two-hundred forty quid with no breakfast.

G: *gasp* No breakfast?

Z: It's fine. Get two but sleep in the same room.

They got to their room. F6 fell on one of the beds.

F6: I shouldn't have done that.

F2: Why not?

F2 laid on the same bed.

F2: Ah! This is an awful mat!

J: That just shows you how bad they are.

They can't even get their beds right.

F6: Can we sleep now?

F1: It's four o' clock.

J: Which means no!

F4: What else do you want from us today?

G: How about anything you have to say?

F4: Well, in that case...

F5: Why didn't you save us the trouble and hypnotize everyone?

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

J: You needed field training.

F5: That's it?

J: Suck it.

G: Apart from that, some things just have to look legit,

because we can't really "convince" all the witnesses.

J: Maybe I could, but I wouldn't because pulling it off would be tough.

F2: Oh, and what about that time at the pawn shop?

J: Social training.

Z: His hypnosis was still in the making.

J: Shut up!

F4: By the way, why did you get two rooms?

G: That's because if some assassins come during the night,

there will be a fifty percent chance that they fail anyways.

Z: Also, we still have to look rich.

F4: I think the second explanation makes more sense.

J: By the way, I'll still be using the taxman's brain.

G: That poor guy...

J: That's what he gets for taxing other people's... Ferrets?

Yes, ferrets.

J: Is that an industry here?

G: Yep, ferrets and cashmere.

J: Just... Leave it at that, ok?

J: The thing is, that I could use him to get his superiors,

and they would get me to the king,

and If I made a big enough ruckus with the king,

we could get the emperor.

F6: How exactly?

J: That's where you come in.

J: He's gonna have some mental defenses of course,

but we can wear them down.

J: When we find out were he is, you help us possess him, understood?

F5: Well that sounds rather epic.

F4: And rather risky...

G: We'll try to make it epic without the whole "dying" part.

J: But hey, sometimes you just need to start crying. Because you got stabbed.

F4: Can we change the discussion?

Z: You should try teaching Common.

F2: Yeah, not being able to read is kind of a bummer.

F3: It's not good for our image either.

J: Then start teaching!

F3: I would need a marker.

J: Use the backpack, you asshat!

After getting supplies from their rucksacks,

they had classes until going to sleep.

G: By the way, could you cover up that wall with the sign?

F2: The one that says 'Fourth wall'?

G: Yes, It's been creeping me out.

F2: Ok.

Such a tragedy! The audience won't see them sleep.

Although that would have made them look like creeps.

The next day, they had some MRE breakfast.

Z: I never thought that someone would ask

me for an MRE in place of a prepared meal.

F5: Well, I simply do not want to try the breakfast deal.

J: And neither would I pay for it, so well done!

F2: So, what are we gonna do today?

Z: We are going to the sewers, again.

F3: But why?

J: It's a surprise!

F4: You scare me when you say that.

F6: Can you tell us pwease? (OwO)

G: Awww...

Z: We will try out some anti-magic.

J: You're ruining the fun!

Z: I couldn't resist that face.

And there they went, back again.

They did their daily workout while on the way.

F6: What now?

J: Well, you remember how the newspaper

grayed everything while out of the ship?

F4: Yes, it was kinda weird, but I didn't think to comment of it.

J: Well, now we would like to try out some things.

J: Try summoning a fireball.

They did.

F1: I am awaiting instructions.

J: Just stand there while we summon destruction.

F4: Wait, what?

The flames were snuffed out.

J: A most excellent outcome. Mwahahaha.

F3: What did you do?

Z: Check your pockets, there should be a book.

F2: Here it is!

'The One Lie

_______

||

|| /\

|| \/

||____

Ironic edition'?

J: Written by me!

G: You may not want to read it, unless you're someplace safe to collapse.

F6: Is it that bad?

G: If it's half as bad as the original, yes.

J: Anyways, we are here to test how much a text can alter this place.

You can enjoy the book later.

They tested the strength and range of the text,

which turned out work up to a radius of about 3403 attoparsecs,

or one football pitch.

J: Wow, fortunately everyone is too poor to use magic in here.

Now you can relax if you want. Or read my book, it is very nice.

G: Don't trust him when he says that.

F1: I think I will read it.

Z: You may want a lot of beer, because I did.

At least it wasn't the 'cheap fanfic' kind of bad.

It was the kind of evil you couldn't help but take seriously,

until you inevitably woke up naked in the middle of the street.