# Ch. 38: Greasy Greece
Picture this: A town, with grass. Amazing I know!
Our totally expert team casually approached
a local with the grace of a scarecrow.
F2: So, who runs this place?
2222: Oh, hello stranger! Admiring our beautiful land?
F1: Yes. Who runs this place?
2222: Uh... No one?
J: That is the biggest load of shit I have ever
perceived since I visited a waste treatment plant!
None of those worms could pull of something like that!
F3: And how do you agree to do anything?
2222: Nature provides.
J: Oh, so they just went full caveman. Alright.
F6: That sounds terrible.
2222: You know, things get quite simple when you avoid the modern corruptions.
What is that thing you're wearing below?
F1: Uhhh...
2222: Hold on a second.
You didn't just come tearing up the land on one of those heavy vehicles,
right?
J: Ah fuck.
F3: But sir, have you ever wondered if you actually own the land?
2222: The hell are you talking?
J: DISTRACT HIM WHILE FREYA HITS HIM!
F2: *Throws knife to side* OH WHAT'S THAT!?
2222: Wha-
F6 gave him a nice and strong haymaker,
which knocked out several teeth and broke his jaw,
sending him to the floor.
F6: Oops.
J: You did fine.
F5: Can I kick him while he's down?
G: No! You already got him!
2222: *With broken jaw and bleeding* You have no honour...
J: SHUT UP THE WITNESS!
The anti-racoon dogs broke some more bones.
After that, they visited the pantheon building.
F6: There isn't much in here either.
F2: Wait, there's an old man sitting there!
Indeed. He was old, and a man. Or at least a wolf man.
The foxes instantly rushed to harass him.
F2: Uh, hello? Who are you?
3332: I am the priest. Stranger.
F2: What kind of priesting do you do, mister priest?
3332: What are you, four?
F2: I get told that a lot. What do you do?
3332: I commune with the gods. Obviously.
Do you have anything to ask after ruining my nap?
F2: On what does that communing thingie consist?
3332: Maieutics are prohibited in here.
F2: What's that?
F4: Is it a religious thing?
Concepts that may elude Brits.
3332: Ugh.
F1: We wanted to ask if you relate to any other priests,
for... Documentation purposes.
3332: If I tell you, will you leave me alone?
F1: ... *Thinking*
J: Yeah, whatever. Hypnosis would have been easier.
F1: Yes.
Z: He seems to be resistant to hypnosis.
3332: Why are you looking at me like that?
F1: Oh, sorry.
3332: *Mumbling* Bastard...
F6: Bastard?
3332: Anyways! So I usually meet with this gal...
The old wolf spilled the beans so they would leave him be.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
When the farmer's pests were about to leave, they were stopped by a man.
884: Stop right there you scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch!
F5: Excuse me?
F6: Me?
884: All of you! You are all charged with mercilessly beating a man!
F5: Can you prove that?
884: I heard the testimony from the man's wife.
Now pay your toll or it's off to jail.
F3: How exactly? I have not seen anything resembling prisons or money here.
884: Do you think you're funny!?
F2: Wait! He totally asked us to hit him!
The wife, who had been hiding behind the man, decided to talk.
7487: N-nuh-uh! If you had played fair, he would have won!
F5: Bloody nonsense!
F4: That sounds rather... Self-serving, you know?
3332: Ugh, if they're so strong, let them clear out one of those caves alone.
If they die, that's fine. But if they survive,
that's also fine, and they are forgiven.
884: As you say, old sage.
And you, be grateful that you were given another chance!
F6: Alright.
F5>7487: So, want a night with the stronger guy?
7487: *Extreme, face reddening, anger?*
F1 grabbed F5's shoulder.
F1: Please, do not cause any more trouble.
J: I must be honest, that was fun.
F5: You know, this place looked kinda familiar...
F4: They have whisky in here?
F5: I said, "kinda familiar"!
A while later, it was a dark and stormy day.
From the around 50/50 group of humans and assorted furry creatures,
a rare Balkan lynx humanoid decided to come and scream at them.
58: The hell are you doing with those umbrellas!?
And you pretend to be tough!?
How about you take off your suits and then we'll see-
The lynx got a jab straight to its snout,
which made him take several steps back.
F4: Was that too much?
58: OK! KEEP YOUR STUPID UMBRELLAS! fuck...
3332: Alright. Some hydras have been spotted to the north.
Go to their caves and kill them before they become a threat to our village.
3332: You will go to the cave northeast,
while those insufferable foxes will go northwest.
3332: I really hope that they die, but I respect great strength when I see it.
3332: That's it. Now scram.
And so, the accidental ruffians talked while they walked towards DOOM.
The 1993 version.
F2: So, could you tell us what you found, mister 'A'?
J: Sure. I didn't tell you earlier because the bad news got me down.
F4: Shouldn't you-
J: Shush! I will start telling you now.
I started with the construction guild
because I certainly had a mouthful for him...
Alright, here's a skyscraper, it is tall. Like,
visible from the other side of The Channel tall.
It is completely uninhabited though, and when push comes to shove,
the the gold foil peels away, revealing the shoddy construction below.
The reaper comes for the engineer, stuck to a desk near the entrance.
J: YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD! YOU DOLT! INSOLENT WORM!
I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR OWN BLOOD!
K110: Excuse me?
J: BUT FIRST, WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO DESIGN SUCH ATROCITIES AGAINST THE WORLD?
K110: ...Mu?
J: DON'T COME AT ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT.
K110: I just thought it looked cool, alright?
J: Are you fucking stupid!?
K110: Hey, the 1930's weren't that bad, you know.
I thought it would have been nice to bring back the old style.
J: Alongside all of the old trash!?
K110: Well, no, but it was a pretty orderly tim-
Boom, heartshot.
K110: ...The fedoras... Were cool...
*Tactical Deagle magdump*
J: Fuck off with your awful fashion!
J: ...
GOD! What a relief!
Later...
Z: It seems like that was quite satisfying for you.
F2: Yeah, why are you sad then?
J: First, I'm totally not sad. Second, ...There were other persons.
And so, the story which is killing my hard drive continues.