# Ch.20: The art of deception
While usually Jack could be imprisoned inside a large cardboard box,
there was no cell that could contain him in some derivative thereof.
The metafictional implications are best ignored. Seriously. Stop.
G: Alright, could you try actually teaching them magic this time?
J: ...Maybe? I'm not in the *mood* right now.
F5: What, you want a massage or something?
Z: That would be nice, but our body is extremely large,
and our lack of structure would prevent us from feeling much.
F3: Will we use magic wands?
J: Sure!
Each was given a Magic Wand.
F5: That's an odd shape.
F2: Ooh, it vibrates!
Guy took them away.
G: What is wrong with you?!
J: I'm horny! It's been a full business week!
Z: This is why you should do all things in moderation.
F4: So, you can't think straight because... Sex?
J: T-that's context dependent!
F6: Couldn't you just... *wanking gesture*
J: That doesn't work if I don't have a body!
J: H-hey Faber, could I use your body for a moment?
G: Uh, you may want to think that throu-
F1: Sure.
F1 got knocked out, and then reappeared at the office.
Z: Welcome, and don't touch anything.
F1: Is that 'A'?
His body had gone limp on an office chair.
Z: Yes, that's his avatar. Didn't you see him already?
F2: What's happening? I wanna see!
J: Well, you can see me here!
He was currently talking through F1's body.
F4: Whoah, that's weird.
J: F-funny you say that. *sigh* God it's nice to have a humanoid body!
G: Could you handle him carefully? It isn't yours.
J: Correction: It technically is mine.
Now, I will be playing solitaire in the bathroom,
unless someone wants to accompany me...
...
F6: What?
J: Didn't I teach you innuendo on sex ed class?
F6: Uhh... I was a bit distracted at the time.
J: Ugh, fine! Does anyone want to have sex with me?
F3: Does that include males?
J: YES! I'LL FUCK ANYTHING! WANNA FUCK!?
F2: Uhh, that's kinda weird. And gross.
F4: W-why are you looking at me?
J: Ugh, Spoilsports. I'll be going now.
J: Dammit! How do you stand in your toes all the time!?
F6: It comes to me naturally.
J: That was a rhetorical question!
F6: What?
Jack ran away. Then tripped. Then ran again.
F4: What just happened?
Z: 'A' used Faber's body so he could masturbate.
G: Dude! Can't you be more subtle?
Z: No.
F4>Z: That just opens more questions!
F4: ...
G: ...
G: Such as?
F5: So you can just possess our bodies whenever you want?
Z: Yes. 'A' was trying to be polite by asking.
F2: Is Faber fine?
F1: Yes. I'm at the office right now.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
I am getting a view from the corner to your upper right.
F2: Oh, hi then!
F1: 'B' and 'C' are petting me right now.
G: Oh, sorry man.
F1: Please do as you want with me.
G: You're just making it sound worse.
F2: Can I get a headpat too?
G: Sure!
A tentacle petted her head.
F2: (UwU)
F4: This whole thing is just gross. Couldn't he use his own body?
Z: We don't have genitals.
F3: Then why do you have a sex drive?
Z: That is confidential.
G: In our defense, that's just a problem with 'A'.
F3: May I ask why?
Z: We prefer not to disclose information about our past,
due to "divine oversight".
F1: Isn't it problematic for me to have a look at you then?
G: Nah man. This is an avatar of our true shapes. We have nothing at stake.
F2: Rhymes on a dime!
IGNORE THE METAFICTIONAL IMPLICATIONS.
F4: Aren't we pretty safe here though?
J: But what if they, cracked your skull, *ah* and took a photo of your brain?
F6: Weren't you in the bathroom?
J: M-mind powers!
G: Can't you stop jacking off to talk? Jeez!
J: N-nonsense!
F6: You're not as bad as Finn though....
F4: What!?
F6: My ears...
F5: What a horny bastard.
J: Ahh~
Guy cut the audio.
What a horny bastard.
G: How about talking about ANYTHING else?
F2: Uh, sure! How's the weather, Freya?
F6: I dunno. How's the weather?
Z: Currently, it is sunny with no clouds.
F2: That's great!
F1: I do wonder, how do you tolerate each other?
G: Well, we all have saved each other's asses,
so we don't fight over petty stuff.
F5: Is having the world's biggest horndog AND lunatic "petty stuff" to you?
G: Well...
Z: Yes.
J: S-suck it! I'm the best!
G: He could dial it down a bit though.
Z: Ditto.
J: N-NO COMPROMISE! Ah~
After a while, Jack finally finished and returned to the deck.
What a horny bastard.
J: Ah, that was good.
F4: Uh, Faber, don't you have any issues with your body being used like that?
F1: ...
F1: Perhaps?
G: You may want to ask for your body before he goes for another round.
J: You say it like I'm some kind of animal! Although it does sound tempting...
F1: Can I have my body back, sir?
J: Yeah, whatever.
F1 got his body back.
F6: Will we be doing magic now?
F6's legs had gotten sore so she was sitting down.
F5: For real this time?
J: Yeah, yeah, I know I kept you waiting, but I will teach you now.
F2: Yay!
J: Basically,
magic in this world is all about making up
bullshit and delivering it to the target.
F6: Huh?
J: Let's say I want to summon a fireball. So don't move or you'll get burnt.
J: Now, the rationale is that I'm super hot,
so I should be able to control fire however I pleased.
A small fireball appeared in front of the foxes.
F2: Whoah.
F6: It isn't really warm though.
J: That's the catch! For some reason, the more specific a spell is,
the more materiality it will have.
J: If I made some thousand page bullshit treatise
on how I should totally be able to control flames,
it would feel much more realistic.
F3: I feel personally attacked.
F4: So it shouldn't really burn- Ow!
J: In one hand, it has to look legit, but on the other,
the scammer also needs to feel convinced.
And because I'm super hot, my spells can get pretty strong~
F5: To be honest, I wouldn't put "gritty old man" on my top ten.
J: But have you seen me at bed? I can-
G: *AHEM*
J: ...So basically, you must convince others and yourselves.
F2: So, can I try-
J: Not yet! You also need to know about the medium through which it works.
The scam must be capable of reaching its mark,
but somehow it's not necessary for them to acknowledge that.
F2: Oh, like a good pickpocket?
J: Damn right! Things like direct line of sight are pretty strong,
but radio waves count as "altered matter", so it's a good choice.
F1: It seems like a powerful art, sir.
J: Not at all. It has two major weaknesses.
J: First, It has a weakened effect on altered matter.
F4: How did you burn my hand then!?
J: Because I'm just that hot.
Z: That was like grabbing a hot potato. Stop complaining.
J: Anyways, the other major weakness is that
everything falls apart if you call their bluff.
F5: So if I say you aren't hot...
J: You'll need a more complete refutation if you want to weaken it.
Also you're wrong.
F2: Can I try summoning a doll now?
J: Sure.
F2 got a doll. Meanwhile, F6 summoned a cookie.
F2: Eh, yours are fancier.
F6: *cough* *cough* *gag* That was really bad.
J: Well, nothing compares to the real deal!
He was referring to sex.