# Ch.45: Not criminal if voluntary

After breaking some bones,

the orange 7-toroidal organisms (Jack not included)

entered the palatial administrative building.

F4: So, why did we step over him exactly?

J: I just like to crush the foolish souls who think they are so above it all,

just because they believe in unachievable goals.

J: They think they are all high and mighty for being cowards,

and that disgusts me.

F2: Uhh, ok?

F3: Do you have any other commentaries?

Z: Nietzsche was an immature toddler.

G: I don't know what to say, so no commentary.

3432: The hell are you talking about?

The secretary at the reception was deeply confused.

F1: Sorry for that. We need to visit the mayor. Soon.

*Penetrating hypnosis stare*

3432: ...Yeah, sure. She's free right now.

Screw Smedley's appointment, I never liked that fool.

After a bit more hypnotizing,

our comrades with absolutely no correlation

to a certain news channel left the building.

Again stepping over the gecko while on their way.

5932: *whimper*

F6: He's quite convenient.

F2: What did you find?

J: Barely five minutes have passed! Give me some fucking time!

F2: What do we do then?

G: How about you have some fun?

There must be somewhere to pass the time in this city.

F4: There's a disco right there.

G: Huh, how convenient. Have some fun then.

The disco SUCKED. The record player only had The B**tles, T*e P*l**e,

J**t*n Bi***r, ******* and [DATA EXPUNGED];

the hilariously outdated lighted dancefloor looked like it had

not been maintained since they installed it in the iron age;

the alcohol tasted like, well, alcohol; the bartender was a cardboard cutout;

and seriously, who goes to a nightclub at 1023 Juliett!?

Still, it had some geckos, and the foxes were having some fun.

F4 and F5 were trying to dance, F2 was cheating at French Tarot,

F3 and F6 were talking to some geckos at the bar,

and F1 was playing darts on an inexplicably present dartboard.

1000: *cough* *cough* ...I think there may be a tuberculosis epidemic.

J: WELL DUH! You think!? I think that's what she said.

G: He? She?

Z: Ask him if he has ever heard of wet scrubbers.

F3: Have you ever heard of wet scrubbers?

1000: No, what's that? *coughs out chunk of lung*

1000: Anyways, I have to work at the thermoelectric tomorrow, so wish me luck.

1080: Good luck Hank.

1080: By the way, are you two going out?

F6: What?

1000: "Are-you-two-lovers?"

F6: No?

F3: Why do you ask?

1080: Well, perhaps we could...

F6: What gender are you?

1080: Can that be a surprise?

Meanwhile, at the dance floor...

F5: The music here sucks.

F4: Yeah.

J: DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE THAT? CHECK YOUR BACKPACK.

F5: Sure.

Out F5's backpack left at the corner,

he pulled out a single vinyl, and you knew it was good,

because it exuded an ominous, reality-warping aura.

The grooves flowed like water,

and the funny animal on the label looked alive, staring at them.

G: What did you do this time?

J: Nothing, I just offered them some real music.

Z: You were supposed to be working.

F4: I don't feel good about this one.

F5: Eh, whatever. It can't be worse than what they have already.

F5 opened the record player, threw out Y*llow S*bm*rine,

replaced it with the vinyl, then put everything back together and hit play.

It surely was a rave. Soon, the whole skulk was dancing and partying hard.

Meanwhile,

the poor geckos were hallucinating and foaming through their mouths.

Stolen story; please report.

Some screamed, some kicked, some tried to pull out their eardrums,

But alas, they could not take all the noise, and fell unconscious.

The foxes, on the other hand, did not notice.

After exactly seventeen tracks, the *very* LP record finished.

J: Alright, I know the district manager's location.

F2: Great!

J: But he isn't awake until a few more hours.

Do you mind listening to some more music?

F3: Maybe.

Z: This can count as the daily workout if you want.

F3: No, I do not mind at all.

J: Great! The B-side is more of the same,

so you can have some extra vinyls in case you get bored.

The foxes must have had some amazing stamina,

either that or the records had some abnormal effect,

because they kept dancing for around seven hours.

After that, they got on the car and went to another town.

The DM's (Or GM's) town was actually quite small,

mostly occupied by a building like the Palace of Westminster,

except that it had a statue instead of the clock.

G: Alright, he should already be in here.

F6: So we just enter or...?

J: Yes! We already gave you an appointment!

Most of the interior had been refurbished to accommodate offices.

Upon entering,

they were asked to remove their helmets since the air inside was filtered.

They did,

and ended up seeing the DM inside of what should have been the robing room.

He was a rather unassuming cat gecko, although taller than usual.

Furthermore, he was alone and visibly distressed

K290: Water...

F2: Uh, are you fine?

K290: No... I asked my assistant to bring me water two hours ago.

Please get that dog. And bring me some water.

He laid a key ring on the table.

F4: Can't you do it yourself?

K290: Too much work... Can't leave my chair...

F5: How about literally anyone else?

K290: Almost no one enters this place... Please.

F5: Ugh, fine. But you'll owe us a favour.

F1: Do you know where your assistant is?

K290: Just look for him... He knows where to get my water.

F6: Can't you drink normal water?

K290: Just go!

The catalase-enriched canids went in search of the other canid.

F3: At least he was intelligible.

G: Guys, we might have a problem.

Most of this building is transparent to divine oversight.

F5: So we can't-, Cannot-, K-, FUCK!

J: Idiot! Don't talk about regicide if they are listening!

Z: Attacking a king under their oversight would be a very bad idea.

We will have to think of another scheme.

G: Just keep asking for the dog now.

F1: Sir, have you seen a dog come by this place recently?

26: Well, I think that I saw him go into the bathroom a while ago.

Now that I think about it, I have not seen him leave.

What what his name again?

F6: Why can't everyone speak as clearly as you?

26: Ah, I think that has to do with education, miss.

The bathroom was locked. Fortunately though,

the gecko's ring contained a bathroom master key.

Inside was a Toller reading from a stack of furry porn and Birding magazines.

77: *Covers crotch with magazine*

F1: Um, are you the DM's assistant?

77: *nod*

F6 opened one of the magazines.

F1: Do you know that he asked that for some water two hours ago?

77: *surprised facepalm*

F5: Are you mute or something?

77: *nod again*

F5: Oh, alright.

After zipping up his onesie, the dog accompanied them down the hall.

F6: We do somewhat look like him.

F3: Do you know where to get your employer's water?

77: *mildly annoyed nod*

F2: Hey, what is your name?

77: *Shrug*

F3: You do not know?

77: *nod*

F6: I also forget my name sometimes.

F5: By the way, do you like your job?

77: *dismissive shrug*

F4: I guess that means so-so.

The group reached a storage room with a keypad.

The Toller enter the combination, then pointed at the door lock.

F1: Yes, your employer gave us the keys.

I do not know which one it is, though.

The dog approached F1 and touched a key.

F1: That one? Alright then.

They entered the storage room.

Inside were several shelves containing water bottles and sprayers,

office supplies, ball gags and the like.

After closing the door, F6 Grabbed the dog's head and pointed it at her face.

F6: Could you look at me for a second?

77: *Someone's getting horny*

Z: We are quite lucky. This storage room is protected from divine oversight.

F5: How do you even know that?

Z: We emit magical pulses from your drysuits

to analyze the surrounding properties.

The mechanism is similar to radar.

F6: Can I stop staring at him? My eyes feel uncomfortable.

J: No, as long as you stare, he will not see anything else.

F3: Would it not be easier to "convince him" that we are good?

J: No, because he would still kinda remember! Also I wanted Freya to suffer.

Typical of Jack.