# Ch.14: Gunz 4 goonz

So, It was dinner time. Again.

The foxes had some tuna with dandelion leaves and "mystery sauce".

They had dandelion tea for drinks.

J: We're back. Now eat.

F4: What's in the sauce?

J: Mushrooms, walnuts, and starch. Eat up before I turn you into the next dish.

F4: Y-yes sir!

F3: So, what improvements did you make to the ship?

Z: I- J: I-

J>Z: Shut up.

J: I automated some boring things,

and also made the software for some other devices.

F2: What's software?

F1: You don't know?

F2: Nope!

F1: It's the set of instructions you can give to a machine.

F2: I don't get it.

J: We have a BOOK on computers for MORONS. Go read it.

F2: Alright!

F6: And what did 'B' Do?

Z: I reinforced all the machinery and equipment with carbyne weave,

made some gear, and upgraded the island's viewing equipment.

F2: What's carbyne?

Z: Really strong stuff.

F2: Ohhh...

Z: Continuing on the viewing equipment,

we tested it and used it to successfully gather intel.

F1: What did 'C' do then, sir?

G: I "successfully gathered intel". I also gathered info about the culture.

F6: That sounds pretty boring.

G: Nah, it was pretty fun. Until I got to see the darker stuff...

J: Fifi, I want to know. How good are you at cheating on casino games?

G: Do you really want her to do that?

J: Hey! It's easy money!

F2: Well, I consider myself pretty good at dice control, card counting,

deck stacking, edge sorting, and some other stuff. I'm also a good pickpocket.

J: What a rascal! Excellent!

F4: So that's how I lost.

F3: That is disturbing. How did you learn all that?

F2: Uh, dunno?

J: Typical.

J: Now, since it's pretty late already, you can go to sleep.

F6: But I'm not tired.

J: Then don't sleep!? Go masturbate or something.

G: No! Please anything but that!

F6: Well, I can't really think of anything else...

G: Just... Read a book or something. Maybe talk with Faber.

F6: Faber's boring.

F1: I recently read about clocks, maybe-

F6: I guess I'll try to read something.

G: Good! Just stay away from-

J: Ignore him. You can read whatever you want~

G: Goddammit. I'll put up with it just because it's you.

Z: He can be wrong sometimes, you know.

G: So you're on my side?

Z: Actually, no.

F3: I would like to hear you talk, Faber.

F1: Thanks. I will be on the bridge.

Z: I forgot to mention. The ship's steering is mostly automated now.

You just have to check for unidentified objects or monsters.

F1: ...Sure.

Z: You can spend your time learning the rest of the controls.

F1: Yes, master!

F5: Hey! I didn't get to say anything!

J: Well, what did you do?

F5: I did exercise at the gym.

J: Good.

F5: That's it?

J: Want a prize or something? Your bodies are already fine,

you just have to exercise every once in a while so they don't atrophy.

J: For how long did you work out?

F5: Ummm... Around six hours?

J: YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

F5: Hey, hey. What's the problem with getting a little more buff?

And there's no way that twig called Finn is in peak condition.

F4: Hey!

Z: We rearranged your body mass so we would not have to make more tissue.

Finn was just that thin.

J: THIS IS NOT A BODYBUILDING COMPETITION! ANY MORE MUSCLES ARE A LIABILITY!

F5: Well, what's the problem with some more muscles?

J: JUST-

Z: You are already strong enough, since you should avoid battles.

More muscles would make you and clumsier and hungrier,

and you will be sore all over from so much exercise.

J: He said it.

F5: Ugh, Fine! I'll just power through the pain!

J: No, you will be relieved of strenuous activities. Bye-bye!

F5: Damn. I guess I messed up.

F3: I can relate.

Half the foxes went to sleep. The rest joined up soon enough.

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The next day,

the ship already was 3/6ths of the way towards the main continent.

The foxes had rehydrated fruit mix and some sweetgrass-flavored water.

F3: You have a well-stocked pantry.

G: We've just got a little bit of everything.

F6: Didn't you say you just had MREs?

G: 'A' just wanted to scare you into eating seafood.

We can't preserve the leafy greens and mushrooms forever though,

Unless you want the canned versions. Yuck.

Z: Which is a lot coming from him.

F6: Then why didn't you give us the greens first?

G: He REALLY wanted you to eat the seafood.

J: Seafood is an ESSENTIAL part of a diet, GOT IT!?

F4: Y-yeah...

Z: Maybe he was right. You really did have an iodine deficiency,

Although this is according to the text with fluorine as a dietary element.

F2: What?

Z: Read a book, Fifi.

F2: Well, Ok.

G: Anyways, those things should last a week or two.

The preserved food will last next to an eternity

but probably have bad nutritional value,

bad taste, and bad texture.

F5: Let me guess, we'll be carrying the MREs when we get out of the ship.

J: Correct!

G: I think you had some other things to say, 'A'.

J: Pfft. If I don't remember... Oh right!

We will be showing you how to handle weapons.

F5: Nice!

J: Frank will only handle the small guns.

F5: Awww...

J: Onwards to the armory!

Then they got to the armory.

G: Alright, 'B' and I will be showing you how to use the weapons.

F1: What about 'A'?

Z: He is better at more "unconventional" types of warfare.

F1: Oh, ok.

J: I'll have you know I outlived top of my pack in asymmetric warfare,

and I have some five, six confirmed kills!

Z: Sure. You still suck at aiming though.

J: Well, can you hack a power station, huh!? HUH!?

G: Anyways, do any of you know how to use a gun?

F3: I think I do.

G: Good! Now, let me see how you shoot with that 1911 on the counter.

F3: Well, I usually grab it like this...

He aimed the 1911 gangsta style.

F4: AHH! DON'T SHOOT ME!

J: YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

A tentacle confiscated the 1911 and slapped F3's face.

J: YOU JUST BROKE ALL THE RULES OF GUN SAFETY. AT THE SAME TIME.

F3: But it wasn't loaded!

J: bUt It wASn'T LoAdEd! YOU JUST PROVED THAT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A GUN!

Z: *ahem*. It can be hard to tell if a gun is actually loaded,

so it's normal procedure to treat them as if they always were.

They are quite dangerous after all.

F3: Didn't they just shoot peas?

J: GRRRAAAHHH!

Seeing the imminent danger. Zack and Guy restrained Jack.

G: Whoah, whoah, hold your horses man!

J: YOU FUCKING TROGLODITE!

I'LL TEAR YOUR SKIN OFF AND REPLACE IT WITH CACTI!

THEN I'LL CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND MAKE YOU EAT IT! I'LL...

He kept swearing for a minute or so.

F4: ...

F4: H-he didn't mean all that, r-right?

G: No, nonono! He just got carried away! Right, 'A'?

J: ...

J: Yeah, sure.

J: Sorry. I just hate it when people talk trash about guns.

G: Faber, could you try holding the pistol? I'll be your guide.

F1: Yes, sir.

A few tentacles helped position him.

G: Now, there isn't a single universal stance for holding a gun,

but I'll be showing you one.

F1: Yes, sir.

G: Now, put your foot from you non-dominant side a bit forward,

as if taking a step.

F1: Yes, sir.

F1 put his right foot forward.

G: ...Ok, you can bend your knees a bit if it makes you more stable.

Now, grip the gun with your dominant hand as if, well, shaking hands,

and extend your index finger over the side of the gun.

F1: Yes, sir.

J: Stop saying "yes, sir".

F1: Ye-... Alright.

G: Now, wrap around with your other hand and extend your arms.

F1: Ok.

G: Good. Make sure to grab the gun with a firm, but stable grip.

You don't need to extend your other index.

F1: Okay.

G: Now, pull a bit with your non-dominant arm while

pushing with the other so your arms stay fixed.

F1: Alright.

G: That's the Weaver stance. Congratulations.

And he didn't kill anyone! Wooo!