# Ch.11: How2Gamble

This story is getting too long.

Anyways, our foxes were currently playing dress-up.

F6: These clothes are quite uncomfortable.

F2: Well, duh. Nothing beats being naked!

F1: I find them adequate.

J: When was the last time you found anything "inadequate"?

F1: Uhhh...

J: Forget about it.

J: Since you're all dressed up now, I'll teach you how to negotiate.

F6: Will negotiating get me cookies?

G: Yes!

F6: I'm listening.

F4: Isn't it dangerous to negotiate with scary people?

Z: So is breathing.

J: Do you prefer going into a firearm competition!?

F4: N-no sir!

J: Good.

Now, the art of negotiating is all about maximizing your leverage.

F5: What's leverage?

J: ...

F5: I was joking!

J: Now, in theory, business aren't a zero-sum game, but in practice, they are.

F5: I really don't get it now.

F3: Well, there's a lot of people, one cake, and none of them know how to bake.

F6: Were we talking about cake?

J: No!

Everyone's our enemy,

so you're to subtract the maximum amount of advantage possible.

F5: So, we just beat them over the head and steal their stuff?

G: That's a bad idea. If we do that often enough,

an army will kick down our door.

J: Now, we don't want that, right? RIGHT!?

F4: N-no-

J: IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!

J: *ahem* If we don't want the gods on our ass,

we need to make our victims think they weren't scammed.

And that means no killing.

F5: Awww...

F2: Wait, then how are we supposed to make them give us stuff?

J: Simple. If you can't literally force them,

you must simply overblow the value of something disposable you have.

F6: Hmmm, cookies maybe? I don't mind sharing.

Z: Perhaps. Chocolate seemed quite rare on the continent.

F6: That's terrible!

J: Anyways. You must also seem like you have way more options than them.

You must convince them that you could choose anyone else for the deal,

while they could be missing a once-in-a-lifetime offer.

F4: What if they call our bluff?

J: Nothing. We just lose a bit of negotiating power.

F4: Well, at least we won't die.

Z: Unless you are negotiating for your lives.

F4: Uh...

J: Anyways, that's why you must capitalize in the other person's foolishness.

That way, they won't know any better.

F1: How do we know if they know?

J: Just take a look at them! Will a farmer know anything about ring theory!?

F3: Perhaps.

J: Ok, POSSIBLY. But that's a big if.

You're more likely to scam them on that than magic beans,

because that is, you know, THEIR JOB.

F2: I think I'm getting it.

We overblow the value of something to someone who doesn't know any better,

then we act like we aren't hard-pressed. Right?

G: Correct!

Tentacles popped some confetti.

J: Ok, I think you got the basics.

Just make sure to add the "limited offer",

and remember that anything someone has is negotiable. ANYTHING.

F3: Their time? Their feelings? Their thoughts? Their body?

THEIR SOULS?

Z: Yes.

F3: Hmmm...

J: Now if you want to make more complex deals,

make sure to kick down the competition.

Tell how everyone that's doing the same thing as you is evil,

but you're different, and will fix all past wrongs, and save the world, etc.

F5: Are you seriously saying someone would fall for that?

J: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Z: The answer is yes.

F6: But wouldn't we have to live up to our promises?

G: What a world would that be...

J: Not really. If you made the deal, you already have what you want.

Even then, if for some reason you have to do business twice with them,

you can always appeal to stupidity to excuse yourselves.

F1: That is delightfully devilish, master.

J: If anyone asks, I'm a sadist by circumstance, not choice.

Z: I have some empirical evidence against-

J: shut [sic]

Jack closed Zack's mouth with his thumb and index.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

Was it an index anyways? He only had four fingers.

J: Apart of fear of missing out, you can appeal to other feelings,

like anger, but fear in general works best.

F4: How about happiness? Happy people don't beat each other up.

J: Wrong. Also, happiness is at the bottom of the list.

F4: Awww...

J: I think that just about covers what you should know. Moving on!

Some tentacles brought another rack. This one had black clothing.

J: Don't be shy! Try it on!

F4: You scare me when you say it like that.

J: PUT THEM ON OR I'LL DUNK YOU IN THE SEA.

F4: AH! YES SIR!

The foxes changed their onesies.

F6: This one is a bit more comfortable.

F2: I guess, since we're not supposed to be seen.

F3: Don't the go-... Deceivers see everything?

J: As far as we know, they don't seem to care about petty crime.

F1: Master, I think that most people do not consider espionage a petty crime.

G: Eh, nobody suffered from divine retribution when we checked.

They probably don't care about anyone but themselves.

F4: Probably!?

F5: Weren't they our targets though?

Z: Correct. Deceivers and close friends.

F4: We're so dead...

G: Hey! Never give up!

J: Relax! We've got more than a few aces up our sleeve.

But for that, you should first go to the armory.

F4: There's an armory in here?

J: WHERE DO YOU THINK THE "BATTLE" IN BATTLE CRUISER COMES FROM!?

F2: Oh, so that's how it's called!

F6: I thought it was just called "ship".

J: *sigh* Fair enough. Does anyone already know where it is?

F3: The room of blades lies to the left, then down, then-

J: Yeah, yeah, just show everyone the way.

A while later...

J: YOU CRETIN! YOU PASSED THE ROOM!

F3: All paths are valid if they reach their destination.

J: NO! YOURS IS STUPID! GO TO YOURS!

F3: What?

J: YOUR ROOM!

F3: Okay.

F3 left the group.

F5: So, where is it?

G: Just go back a corner and turn left.

...

J: Finally!

F1: You have an impressive arsenal, master.

G: We're not here for the weapons right now.

F5: I'm disappointed.

F6: What is it then?

J: Espionage equipment, duh. Now, 'B', if you could explain...

Z: I'm still busy with the ship, but I can manage.

Z: Basically, according to the specification manual,

divine oversight is top-down and can go through "regular" matter.

F2: Huh?

J: THE DECEIVERS CAN SEE THROUGH THE WALLS!

F2: Ohhh...

F4: That is REALLY creepy.

Z: However, it has two limitations. First, it cannot sense "altered" matter,

which is basically any deviation large enough from the baseline.

F5: So, you want us to get liquefied of something?

Z: No. In fact, you are already mostly composed of altered matter.

F6: That's weird, because I don't feel weird.

J: Ugh.

G: You see, we were really careful when making you,

which is apparently much more than the average dude.

F2: Aw, thank you!

Z: Your bodies were reconstructed mostly to a cellular level.

Most phenomena on this world stop happening at around that scale,

which means your physiology will be block any vision rays.

F4: Are you sure messing with our bodies like that was safe?

J: Eh, twenty percent, give or take.

F4: WHAT!? W-WHAT IF I JUST SUDDENLY LIGHT ON FIRE!?

J: Well, you haven't already, so you're probably safe.

G: He's exaggerating Finn. I'm really confident in my biology skills.

J: And I'm NOT really confident in YOUR biology skills.

F5: Ok ok, I think I get it. So we're invisible?

Z: Not exactly. Your bodies still produce normal interactions,

so the deceivers could see you, hear you talk, smell you-

F2: HA!

Z: Or maybe not. I'm not very sure how smell works on this realm.

The point is that they could see you, but not into you or through you.

F5: That doesn't sound very useful.

J: Want an anal implant?

F4: NO SIR!

Z: I think that I got on a limb. The point is,

we have all kinds of equipment that function based on "altered" properties,

which obscure their function to the deceivers.

F1: That is quite clever, master.

Z: I do not need empty praise.

F1: Sorry.

F1: Can I learn their design then?

Z: Yes, they are at the library. You should start with the principles though.

F1: Understood, master.

Z: *rolls eyes*

J: Nobody likes a yes-man, Faber.

Now, let me show you how to use these cameras...

Selfies and portraits were taken, but the printer was as troublesome as ever.