# Ch.1: ACHTUNG!

This is a work of fiction, and all characters presented are fictional.

Any resemblance to real life characters or events is purely coincidental,

and should be of greater concern than complaining to me.

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It was a dark and stormy night on some awful dump similar to London.

Three fellows in raincoats could be seen entering

one of those drab compounds that nobody knows what they're for.

They were strapped with armour and bags, and probably unwelcome,

if having the bloke with a pistol shoot the entry guard dead gave any *p's.

The big lad in the group had some complaints,

but they were in too much of a hurry to stop walking.

G: Dude! why did you do that!?

J: Did you really want me to sit down and explain to

the guard how we were going to kill his staff?

Z: To be honest, a think we could have avoided

acquiring everyone's notice until later.

J: Come on, I was using a silencer!

Z: They don't work like that.

J: Well, I didn't hear much!

G: Man, we're using electronic earmuffs.

They reached the door to the nearest building.

The middle-sized chap began inspecting the lock while reaching for some tools,

while the big lad pulled a rather old and affordable AR-15 from his bag,

alongside some definitely not California-approved mags.

J: Well then, who paid for them!? Anyways, how's the lock?

Z: This seems like a really bulky yale lock... I'll need around 20 seconds.

G: Let's hope that the guards don't come while Zack's picking the door.

The big guy loaded his rifle.

Meanwhile, the lad with the pistol pulled out

a rather shortened 870 shotgun from one of the guy's bags.

This wasn't the express rustoleum model, that one sucked.

J: They won't. Big names don't want to be annoyed on their big day,

and at least these like to feel like them.

G: What about the guard you just killed?

J: He probably was there just to make sure

that no one curious would come near the place.

G: Couldn't you have spared him then?

Z: I'm done.

J>Z: Hey, free shotgun!

A little while later,

the people that were going around what seemed to be some normal office were

suddenly startled by the sound of three fiends kicking open their back door.

J&Z: Everybody freeze!

J: You idiots have no clue of what you're doing, hand over your IDs or die!

Z: Ditto. We will also need the keys to the elevator.

Some random worker raised his hand.

G: Yes?

W: Uh, we have the keys,

b-but we don't have the clearance for the lower floors.

What do they have down there?

G: Stuff that would make men soil themselves.

And you're wrong on that, we do have the "clearance".

The guy nudged the lad with the pistol.

J: Don't tell them!

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

G: Sorry.

After quickly confiscating the cards, and immobilizing all the workers

while only increasing their body-count to one and a half,

the group went down the elevator.

J: Ok, remember. We kill them and then we ask.

Take their keycards and don't shoot the computers.

G: I have a few, very small objections.

Z: I would too, If Jack wasn't so right about why we have to hurry.

The elevator arrived to its destination.

The elevator opened to a room with a strong-looking door and a keycard reader.

Zack pulled some thermite from one of his bags.

J: Wait, wait. Let's try the card first. I brought it for a reason.

Jack swiped a silver card on the reader, and the door unlocked.

J: Thank Cthulhu!

Z: They done goofed.

G: Let's go.

Behind the door, there was your typical server farm,

except that the room had some terrific lighting,

and a few scientists could be seen along some really mean guards.

They were all caught by surprise and promptly turned into mush.

J: I got to a terminal! Clear the place and get back to me!

A few extra scientists in hiding were culled.

Due to the sensitive nature of the servers,

the guards were ill-equipped to deal with the group.

On the other hand, the trio was reasonably good.

Meanwhile, Jack got to working on the terminal.

G: How are you going?

J: Well enough,

the golden keycards from these guys gave me access to pretty much everything.

I should be able to get around the remaining stuff.

Z: Great! I also got some.

They read on the back: 'King card: Create a country that serves YOU.'

What?

J: Details schmetails, they very easily could do something like that with this,

according to the README.

G: Can't you just smash the machine?

J: They've got hundreds of these installations,

so losing one of them wouldn't be a big deal.

I've got to find a way to trash all the servers at the same time.

But first, let me back up all of that juicy blackmail files.

Jack pulled a tape drive and some LTO cartrigdes from his bag.

A while later...

J: Alright, I think that I can reformat all their drives from the network.

That would delay them at least some.

And this is some nuclear-grade intel we're getting!

They have enough jigs here to build the twin towers a million times over!

Z: What do you mean?

J: Let me just open up a message from our world-beloved

entrepreneur Kickerpupper Moneybags the third:

They read the PGP signed message.

Z: Whoah.

J: Indeed!

G: Do we really have the time for this after killing some random person?

J: Actually no, I got too excited, and now we may be running low on time.

Not killing the employees really was a stretch.

G: ...

J: Anyways, I just have to keep doing the typing.

You can pile the bodies on the door or something.

Z&G: Ugh.

While Jack was doing the magical typing, the door got blasted,

splattering dead people all over and getting the group startled.

J: What the hell!? Don't let them stop me!

Zack and the guy tried to stop them,

but they ended up overwhelmed.

Zack was currently taking cover behind one of the servers.

Z: Ack! I got shot! I hope you're finished, Jack!

Jack could be heard from afar.

J: MY PRECIOUS TAPES! DON'T DRAG ME AWAY I HAVEN'T FINISHEEED!

Z: *I think that's a no*

Z: Guy, are you there?

Silence.

A bottle of tear gas got thrown into Zack's direction, so he got moving,

and in between tears found that his friends were being held next to the door.

He gave and received shots, but managed to kill the last of the soldiers,

although probably more would be coming.

G: Ughhh.

Z: It's good to know you're alive, Guy.

G: Not for long.

J: They might have used bitch calibers, but our body armor isn't foolproof.

I'm afraid that we ran out of time.

Z: I know. I'm just happy that we got together one last time.

G: Ah, J&G: Me too.

G: One last bro hug?

J: Yeah.

While embracing each other,

they felt as a wave of dark tar washed over them.

Soon, they sank into the suffocating depths of the unknown.