# Ch.12: Meal tales
It was getting pretty late, so the foxes had dinner.
I didn't tell you, but yes, they did have lunch every day too.
And yes, their lunch did have some more calories; they weren't starving.
This time, they had some scallops, seaweed, and sweetgrass-infused clover beer.
Man, I'm getting jealous...
F5: This doesn't taste anything like beer...
F2: I think it's fine! You probably drank some nasty thing.
F6: I'm getting tired of so much seaweed.
J: How!? We have more than ten types of seaweed!
F6: They all taste the same to me.
Z: There may be a problem with your taste buds.
J: Yeah! How about I rip your tongue off and give it a checkup?
F6: Uhhh...
G: Don't.
J: Spoilsports.
G: I get that you don't like seaweed, right?
J: That's like not liking leafy vegetables, what the fuck.
F6>G: Yes.
G: Well, we can't really give you special food,
but we can prepare dandelion and flower salads next time,
is that fine for you?
F6: ...
F6: No hard preferences here.
F3: *sigh* Don't you have something like potatoes, or lettuce?
J: Nope! We don't have any domesticated or new world plants.
F4: What's the new world?
J: You wouldn't get it. *Smokes twelve-inch cigar*
G: We do have rape, it's that fine?
F4: WHAT!?
G: Ah, I mean the plant.
F4: W-WHAT PLANT!?
G: The rape plant?
F4: NOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GET RAPED!
The guy who named the plant deserves a prize.
F6: Ow, my ears. Hold on a second...
F6 tied F4's snout shut using the table runner.
F6: Much better.
F1: I am curious, how did you make clover beer?
I have not heard about them being used as an ingredient.
F5: Hah! You can make beer out of anything!
I once heard about someone who made beer out of cucumbers!
Z: I'm no expert brewer, but that's definitely impossible.
G: I'm an expert brewer, and that's very unlikely.
J: I'm an expert sociologist, and they were definitely lying.
F5: Aw.
G: The point is, if it has starch or sugar, you can turn it into beer,
and if it doesn't, you can just add some into the mix.
J: THAT'S CHEATING.
J: Anyways, clovers have starch. End of story.
After dinner, all the foxes except for F1 went to sleep.
Before sleeping too, our three despoilers talked a bit.
G: So, you didn't say a lot about it. What was inside Freya's head?
J: *sigh* Give me a moment.
Jack poured a goblet of "diet glyphosate".
J: *sip* So basically, she had your typical share of junk in her brain,
but everything else... It was just cookies.
G: What?
J: Seriously. *sips goblet some more, but silently because he isn't a caveman*
J: The reason because she seems so aloof is because excluding herself,
cookies are the only thing she cares about.
She has memories of baking cookies, eating cookies, vanilla cookies,
chocolate cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and that's about it.
G: That's REALLY screwed up.
You fetched the souls from dead people, right?
J: Pretty much, yes.
G: So you're telling me, that some person, somehow,
only cared about cookies for their entire lives?
J: *finishes goblet* Maybe. But the facts don't lie.
Cookies are the the only thing she thinks about.
G: Does she seem like she's recovering, at least?
J: Well, she didn't seem to hate being with us,
so I guess that she got somewhat interested in things that weren't cookies.
G: That's good. Otherwise, we would have had a bakery version of Zack.
Z: In my defence, science and engineering have plenty of use.
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
G: Yeah, but you don't know how to cook,
and she could probably make some good cookies.
J: Now, don't make me lose a slave.
Z: Anyways. Jack, I need your help for designing a ship autopilot.
J: Can't you do it yourself?
Z: No, I am not very good at programming, so I uh, hoped that you could do it.
J: Fine, I'll get it done tomorrow. *yawn* Anything else?
Z: You're being rather... nice right now, isn't that strange?
J: Eh, It's rather late, I'm totally busted from babysitting the cubs,
and that drink must have had some effect, which is rather a success.
G: You managed to get drunk? What did you drink?
J: Sarin.
"Drunk" would be an overstatement, though.
Z: Hmmm... I will take note of that too.
G: By the way, Filbert was feeling kinda down, could you-
J: Tomorrow, bye-bye!
Then they went to sleep.
It was yet another day.
This time, the foxes had some wild oat muesli with amaranth and walnuts.
The oats were caught before they could roll away.
By the way, I haven't tried the food I talk about,
So let's just assume it's edible and tastes OK.
F4: I can't point out what, but there's something wrong with this dish.
J: We didn't have any milk, so we used water. Now shut up and eat up.
F3: ...
F3 was sad and still wrapped in his bed sheets,
which made him more dressed than everyone else.
F2: Aw, did anything happen Filbert?
F3: My thoughts aren't appreciated...
F2: *Shaking F3* Come on, tell me! I care!
J: Are you still mad that you didn't get to waste our time?
F3: I do not understand. I would have gotten you to the room. I did not lie.
J: *wagging finger* Nuh-uh! You were wrong. Simple as that.
F3: ... *lowers head*
*silence intensifies*
G: I think that-
J: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ASK WHY. IDIOT.
F3: Why?
J: Simple. Even if you were technically right,
you weren't in a practical sense.
What's the point of knowing anything if it's totally useless?
F3: Uh, knowing, I guess?
J: Well, if you wanted to know useless junk, couldn't you read a sports mag?
F3: That would be very degrading.
J: Correct! Now, isn't it then degrading to waste your time,
coming to useless conclusions that do harm?
F3: I guess...
J: It is ULTRA OBVIOUS. Your path may have reached the same place,
but it was plagued with poor decisions that left us at a loss.
J: To be right by happenstance is not good enough.
If something is true only in a roundabout way, then it's good as false.
F3: *sigh*, I think I get it.
J: Now, do you really?
F3: ...I fooled myself into believing that I knew everything,
but it was an illusion. One I made myself.
J: Aaand?
F3: I should start again.
Jack clapped.
J: Congratulations! You have been promoted from smartarse to moron!
F3: Thank you?
F5: Couldn't 'C' have helped instead of you?
G: Nah. I don't know much about philosophy, so it was outside of my expertise.
He's the psychologist.
F6: Wasn't he a sociologist?
J: I KNOW ALL THE HUMANITIES AND BEYOND!
Z: I would have to disagree. You are not sociable at all. Barely human, even.
J: You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
F5: Peak performance in being an asshole, that is.
F5 got an extra portion of muesli.
On his head.
F1: With that solved, what is your plan for today?
J: You didn't say master!
F1: What is your plan for today, master?
J: AAARRGH!
Z: You will have a psychological conditioning session.
F2: What?
Z: We will show you scary images so you toughen up.
F2: Ohhh... Oh no.
F4: I'll... Be going to the bathroom. *stands up*
A tentacle grabbed him by the tail before he could leave.
F4: AHHHH! NOOO I DON'T WANT TO SEE SCARY IMAGES!
J: Don't worry, I will give you some diapers.
F6: Is this going to be like a movie? Will there be cookies?
G: We figured that you have an unhealthy obsession with cookies,
so we will instead have alegria.
F6: Aw.
F3: What is alegria?
G: It's basically candied cereal. Much like popcorn all stuck together.
F2: That sounds good,
but I don't think it will make the movies any less scarier.
J: DID WE SAY MOVIES!?
G: Come on, we can show them some as a warmup.
F5: Why not just give us regular popcorn?
J: Why do you all know about cinemas!?
F5: Uh, dunno.
F1: Do we have popcorn, master?
J: CORN IS A DOMESTICATED PLANT *AND* A NEW WORLD PLANT,
ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID!?
F2: What was that new world thingie again?
J: AHHHHH! I'M IN HELL!
He later added a few more items to his "Why this world must be destroyed" list.