# Ch.51: THAT WARE IS OBSOLETE
Mmm, yes. Twins. In a theatre. On a stage. A bouncer comes for them.
G: Your time is up. You should leave.
E15: No, we're not done yet!
G: Come on now. You've had centuries, perhaps even millennia to do your thing.
You must let go of those dusty ideas.
E16: A world without love isn't one worth existing. Give us more time.
G: No!
Look. I may be affectionate, but I no longer believe in love.
E15: What!?
G: Let's be sincere to each other.
You may preach about giving until you have nothing, but you have plenty.
E16: That isn't pract-
G: But it goes further than that.
How can you ever feed a man better than himself? How can he do the same?
E15: You disgust us.
G: And so do you. You don't want the best for them. You want control.
That is your smothering love. It isn't just suicide, It's Murder.
E16: And you are a monster who rejected the
only thing that held people together.
G: And yet I am. I give you one last chance.
E15&16: We will die with honor!
G: Yet another of those things. So be it.
G: True love is to not love at all.
The stage opened below, and the twins fell for a hundred floors.
*Nonexistent title track starts playing*
After having F6 wash her fortunately gloved hands with bleach,
the toxes were roaming the facility.
F4: Is that one of those sexnasiums?
Z: Yes.
F3: They were quite explicit with the decorations this time.
F2: *pointing at poster* Do some people actually look like that?
Z: Not really, unless they were shapeshifters and very perverted.
J: *Sipping flute* I could look like that if I wanted.
Z: Uh, could you not?
F6: Could Katia look like that?
Z: That is a definite perhaps.
F6: Can I take it?
Z: ...
But why?
F6: I'd like to show her.
Does F6 like the cat? Is she innocent? Horny? Bored?
All of the above?
J: Hmmm....
G: *Opens door*
J: TAKE IT NOW!
F6 scampered to take the poster.
G: Is that a sex-? Ugh, forget it.
Z: How did it go?
G: *sigh* Like any other. It's kinda saddening to see how stubborn they are.
J: Well, we were not trying to convince anyone. They had centuries for that.
Z: Plus, we are probably too scary to convince them of anything.
They almost scare me too.
F4: I can agree with that.
F2: What do we do now?
J: I will be finishing up with the twins. You should go to sleep or something.
F3: Should we sleep in the hotel?
J: Well, the trip took a long time...
F1: May we check the rooms first?
Z: No problem.
They found the guest room, which was surprisingly normal.
F6: They must really like lace in here.
F5: This looks like a grandma's room.
F2: At least the bedsheets aren't- *removes quilt* they are lace!
Ok, it wasn't that normal.
The diurnal crepusculars did the blanket drill anyways.
The next day, they were trying out the breakfast cereal in the kitchen.
F4: Mmm... It tastes... Disgusting! *spits out cereal*
F2: Wait, let me try!
F2: *monch monch*
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
F4: Uh, it seems good at first, but then the afertaste kicks in-
F2 rushed to the kitchen sink, and vomited onto it.
F6 patted her back.
F6: There, there.
F5: Well, I'm definitely not trying that.
F1: Is there anything left to do here, sir?
Z: We still have to wait until 'A' finishes with the twins.
We need them to get out of this empire.
F4: Couldn't we just hypnotize everyone?
G: The security in here is kind of one-way.
It's way harder to get out that in, so it's better if we get their permission.
F2: Phew, that was terrible. How long do we have to wait until then?
G: I dunno.
Z: Let me ask him right now. *grabs SoC with duct-taped microphone*
Z: How long will you take?
J: *through SoC* Well, I don't think that I will scan both the twins,
so I should be done by the evening.
Z: Can you be more specific?
J: Around 6 o' clock, if I hurry a bit? This thing is hard, you know.
F5: We're going to be stuck in here until evening?
J: Suck it.
F3: There are still a few rooms that have me curious.
We could visit them during the day.
G: Wait, someone's poking around back at home.
F4: You mean the island?
G: Yes. Now who could it be?
Back at the island...
The II Great Undoers (Jack was currently busy)
looked at the intruder stomping on the lake's surface.
E28: HEY! I KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWAKE! ANSWER ME!
G: Is he saying something? I can't hear.
F6: Could you get closer?
Z: Well, it does not work like that. We do not possess ears.
F2: Then how can you listen- oh.
Z: Yes, we use yours. Now the emperor looks like he is losing his patience.
G: What should we do... Oh, I know!
A bunch of slime took the shape of a sexy woman near the emperor,
generated a small blackboard, wrote 'I'm deaf, please use this blackboard',
gave it to him alongside chalk, and generated another.
E28: Just how many corners did you cut?
Anyways, it is better if I present myself.
G: Man, I should have learned lip reading.
E28: *holding blackboard* Here. Can you read? It says:
'I am Emperor Forrest, tell me your name.'
G: He's asking for a name. What do I tell him?
Z: Just make up something that does not sound lame.
F6: *Chopping onions without crying* How about Clarisse?
The slime snarfed and pasted the name onto the blackboard.
'The operation is not to copy but to snarf. It's called snarf because
snarf is what it does. There is no design document.'
-Some Pedant
E28: Well, that is a good name.
It would be better if you could explain what
you have been up to since you awakened.
Why am I saying this out loud anyways?
Because it looks prettier that way.
The slime girl invited him to a conference room (kill box),
so they could talk about (his death) in a safe manner (for the killers).
The box sank deep into the slime after he entered just to be sure.
(alright you get the joke)
G: Well, that was easy.
Z: That should be the last emperor, if I remember correctly.
Let me just count for a sec... Yep.
F3: So they know all the gods together?
Z: Yes. There is quite the overlap.
F2: Well, what now?
F1: Is our mission over?
G: Well, not really. We still have to figure out how to coordinate a plan,
dispose of the deceivers and all that. But at least we finished a big part.
Z: Also, who is going to take care of the body? 'A' Is still busy.
G: Hmm...
The emperor was on a beach. On a sun lounger with some iced tea.
E28: Ah! I was going to have a meeting... Where am I?
Z: In the same place as always, leech.
E28: What? Who are you?
Z: Behind you.
G: Want some iced tea?
E28: Hey! *slurp* D-do not play funny with me! What do you want!?
G: Please tell us how you got here.
E28: That is what I want to know!
Z: No. Start at the beginning.
E28: Look, I'm just a facilitator.
Not everyone wanted to bother with politics,
so I just ran what you could call a retirement home.
For a small fee of course.
Z: A parasite giving nothing to its host.
G: Your sins haven't washed away just by doing nothing at all.
E28: And what do you want me to do? Waste my time getting fake brownie points?
Make someone smile at gunpoint? That part of my career is done.
G: You just don't get it, but you had enough vacations.
Z: You can drink your sorrows. It is the best disinfectant after all.
When they left, the tide rose,
and the emperor drowned in a sea of two-hundred proof alcohol.
Because if it was water he could have just swam away.