# Ch.30: A tactical retreat
The four-limbed, furred, and absurdly tall foxes entered the castle.
There, the king was waiting alone, wearing a very try-hard mantle.
K306: Did you bring it?
F5: Yeah, no shit.
They gave him the crates.
K306: Let me show you some thing.
And there they went. To the deepest floor of the castle.
K306: Officially, you gave me some cocktail, but we all know that isn't it.
The king opened the crates. There were guns.
K306: Here I will have some "fun" with the emperor, just so you don't have to.
F6: It's a bit underwhelming when you say it like that.
K306: It's better if I handle the brass, after I saw the light.
F4: You mean torture?
J: Hey, two plus torture equals five.
J: I also tore out some chunks of his brain and rewired others,
just in case, you know.
K306: You can go now, and see tomorrow.
After that, they went into the Bradley.
Unlike a normal Bradley, its interior had the three C's:
Clean, Comfortable and Conditioned.
G: I hope you like the interior, Since we'll be use it for plenty of missions.
F2: Where are we going now?
J: To the east! This instant!
Since a pool of slime didn't give a dime about torque,
the foxes were suddenly thrown back.
F2: Ow! What was that for?
J: I got bored.
F5: Jackass.
F3: How much time does this place have before it is no more?
Z: That is uncertain, but I estimate that around a week or so.
F4: Why are we in such a hurry then?
G: 'A' gets restless sometimes. That's how he is.
Jack just keeps piling on disorders. Amazing.
J: I didn't like the place, that's it.
F5: If you keep roughing us up like this, I'm going to quit!
J: You can't.
F5: Ah, I forgot about that. I'm just going to lay down for a while.
G: It's fine if you relax.
F5: I do it out spite!
G: I'm sorry if it's a bit cramped, but we couldn't make a heavier tank.
F6: Why not?
Z: Any more, and the average bridge would collapse.
F3: So, how do we not feel the bumps in the road? As much?
Z: The Bradley has active suspension, so the floor and wheels always match.
F6: And how's that?
Z: A sensor detects the bumps on the road,
and some servos make sure the wheels are pushed back.
F2: And what's a servo?
The kits kept asking while they kept on trucking.
After a few hours, they reached a mountainous border.
The f o x e s were looking through some binoculars.
F5: That's a lotta monsters.
F6: They look like a bunch of tentacles.
J: That gives me some ideas...
G: NO! BAD BUNNY!
Jack was smacked with a newspaper.
F3: Why do so many beasts surround the mountains?
J: They're naturally enforced borders!
Why bother to protect your place, when the land has guards?
F4: I don't think that I would be around something with that many arms.
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Z: When you are a king, you can decide the details of the land.
F2: Wait, so that means...
J: You bet, and we will be going in.
F4: What!? Can't we just go around it?
Z: Yes, but that would lengthen our trip.
J: Just get the mortar. Everything will be fine.
Lies.
They shelled the creatures, and the not-foxes died.
Ok, they weren't lies.
G: That was easy.
J: Pshhh, everyone knows that mortar beats tentacle.
Z: That doesn't sound like a likely battle.
J: It's common knowledge.
F2: Aren't you a bunch of tentacles?
J: No! We are slime with the occasional tentacle!
Not some baseline filth!
J: Now, get on the car, or I'll leave you with them.
Since they didn't want to get tentacle'd, they did.
A few monsters had survived having the shells fall,
and tried to attack the Bradley.
Fortunately, tentacle beating 25mm autocannon wasn't likely.
They managed to get through the mountain pass
without getting the vehicle overly covered in guts.
To the other side, there was a town-sized fortress.
The kind that would make billionaires look homeless.
G: The hell?
J: 'B', I need the map, could you help?
Z: Sure.
A map fell on Jack's head.
J: ...
Z: Let's see...
F4: Is this bad?
Z: Probably yes, since we broke into a fortress.
G: That's a kingdom?
Z: It just reads 'Klingon'.
J: Who would pick such a stupid name? Anyways, let's make some lemonade.
F6: That would be nice. Do we have lemons?
J: *facepalm but Star Trek style*
Z: I think he wants us to get closer.
G: How about that parking lane then?
Of course, the entrance had a parking lane.
They tried to park the car American style.
Z: Back up.
G: Easy, easy.
J: Keep going.
F3: I think that-
They turned over a statue.
They did NOT crumple the back containers though.
J: Perfect.
F5: Heh.
F1: Did I miss a joke?
G: Why do you have to be such a jerk whenever possible?
J: Because that's what they deserve. And much, much more.
F2: Many more statues tipped?
J: Ugh.
Z: Now we should visit the local ruler.
F4: But what if he just kills us!?
F5: Or puts us in the gaol?
J: Hmmm... You have a point.
F4: YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT THIS JUST NOW!?
J: Me? Nooo, I totally figured it out. Just let me remember...
Z: How about we transfer them into disposable avatars?
J: That... Could work!
F3: But how wo-
They were knocked out.
They awoke next to their bodies.
They stared at their bodies.
F4: A-am I dead?
J: No, silly dog. We just moved over your minds to a new body!
G: Maybe you should stop playing god?
J: No, because it has worked!
Anyways, now you are handling some slime-copies of you bodies.
F3: That is rather morbid.
F6: I feel a bit sluggish.
Z: Swapping your bodies has plenty of disadvantages,
but overall reduced the risk.
J: Moreover, now we can hide guns in your bodies!
F2: What?
F6 sank her hand into her body, and pulled out the modified FN-D.
F5: I must admit, that looks fun.
F2: Did you just get shorter?
J: Conservation of volume and all that.
Now go kill that guy.
Z: We will handle the details, so focus on not looking bad.
F2: Don't we look kinda weird right now?
G: Eh, as long as you don't sink your hand into your ear,
you should look normal on the surface.
Z: We added a high-density layer in case he has x-rays.
J: Yeah, everything is great, so get out!
The foxes were kicked out of the car.
They walked into the fortress, where every door opened.
F5: This isn't very safe if they open the doors anyways.
F4: Can't you see? He knows we're here, and he's inviting us in.
F2: I do wonder, how do they keep this place dust free?
J: Magic. They ain't got to explain shit.
The final door opened, and they were left in a throne room.
The guy really looked like a Klingon.
E4: Welcome to my realm, visitors. I'm lord Klingon.
Emperor of the metallic kingdoms.
J: Oh shit, he was an emperor!
G: Just, keep being formal, and we'll figure something out, ok?
F1: My lord,
we adventurers are grateful to have stumbled
upon such a place as is your majesty's.
Please forgive us if this this arrangement displeases your excellence,
for we reached this place with no malice.
E4: Contrary to that, I am very pleased to see such a sudden visit.
E4: Only few adventurers have skills so exquisite,
that they can surpass this mountain pass.
F1: I am honored to hear such praise from milord.
E4: Tell me, how did you achieve the might to
avoid the blight that surrounds my fortress?
Oh man, It's stalling time.