# Ch.42: Un-abandon ship

I have been trying to write this chapter three times already,

but the jokes just keep coming up. I would drive a manager mad.

After a light warmup,

The fauxes were going down a staircase alongside an armoured cat.

F1: Can you tell us how far is he?

K321: Well, I haven't visited him in many years,

but I think we should see him in ten minutes.

F6: All the twisting is making me dizzy.

F4: To kill some time, exactly what kind of cat you are?

K321: I think I'm a Turkish... Something.

It was too long ago, I can't remember.

What kind of fox are you?

F4: Uhh, a foxy fox?

K321: Well, you don't look bad...

F4: Thanks?

Z: Remember that you should attack him by surprise.

The emperor. And keep laying the transmission cable.

K321: You're still here!?

Z: Yes. We literally own your mind.

F5: I think that would be hard with a cat that practically glows in the dark.

K321: Wait, I can fix that!

Kate changed her eyes and coat from an uncanny

#0000ff Crashed Windows to the soul, and normal #fffacd;

to a normal #59260B and uncanny #000000 Average taxman's heart.

F5: Now I can't see you.

F4: How did you do that?

K321: I can shapeshift a bit.

F3: But how much exactly?

K321: Well, I can't chance my species,

but I can change things like my hair color,

my height, and the size of my, uhhh... Assets.

F3: What kind of assets?

K321: Just... Forget I said that.

F6: How about giving yourself lots of muscles?

K321: I could, but it wouldn't make me much stronger,

and I would probably stumble.

F1: *Points torch at K321*

K321: Ah! You're blinding me!

F1: Sorry, but I could not see you.

Down they went. The spiral increased in diameter,

until it started circling a large ogival chamber from the second third.

It comfortably housed a thirty-metre titan. He really was the big man.

K321: *whispering* Ok, I think he hasn't noticed us.

The titan awoke from his fetal position.

E1: YOU DARE TO AWAKEN ME, YOU INSOLENT FOOL!?

G: AH! Just shoot!

When Kate tried rising her gun, the titan snapped his fingers,

and hit her by extruding a pillar from the wall.

This is why you must keep your barrel on target and finger on trigger.

At least the robots controlled by canids controlled by human

souls controlled by undead antimemetic entities understood that,

so they started shooting while running. Good thing they got his eyes.

E1: ARGH! YOU TRAITOROUS BITCH! I WILL KILL YOU ALL!

With a gesture of his hands, he destroyed that side of the wall,

but they were already gone. Using the ridiculous thrust from the guns,

they had managed to dodge without getting crushed.

Meanwhile, Katia managed to pull herself out of the floor.

E1: WHERE ARE YOU!?

G: Get his kneecaps!

K321: *Cough* On it, sir...

E1: THERE YOU ARE!

E1 kicked her so hard he broke his middle toe,

and she became one with the stucco.

After they got his kneecaps, the titan fell.

E1: UGH! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! YOU RABBLE WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED,

AND THE HAMMER OF THE GODS WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN!

The cat pulled herself out of the rubble, and fired.

K321: Die!

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Silly cat. The emperor kept smashing her with his fist,

for around five times until the foxes got him.

Overall, they were done in less than a minute.

After knocking the emperor out,

the animalised terminators unincrusted Katia from the crater.

F2: Are you fine?

K321: Yeah, I'm- *vomits half a liter of blood, twenty six and a half teeth,

a chunk of spleen and lung*

K321: ...Fine.

Z: She will be fine.

K321: *With broken teeth* I feel like jelly... Sho much pain...

F1: You were an excellent distraction.

K321: Th-thanksh?

F3: What will happen now?

G: We have to wait until Kate is done recovering, then we can leave.

K321: Wait! Don't abandon me!

G: We aren't going to do that! Just hang on for a while.

F6: How is 'A' doing?

G: Uh, he is still doing his thing at the computer, wearing headphones...

Wait, how does that work? His ears are on the back of his hea-

J: YES!

F2: What happened?

J: I convinced her to have sex! Now if you will excuse me,

I will have fun somewhere else~ *leaves*

The afternoon was rather uneventful.

After Katia regenerated in a whopping

four minutes and changed back her coat,

They used the titan's powers to leave quickly.

They played some cards (F2 won), F6 consoled Katia,

and all that.

Wasting so much time was irritating Zack,

and they were ready to get on the cat^Hr by the evening.

K321: Wait! Please take me with you!

F5: Really? After getting used and abused?

G: You know that isn't possible.

K321: Just... Please do something! I am so lonely!

G: Sorry.

K321: There has to be something! PLEASE!

Guy pressed a button, and Kate froze like a statue.

F6: Is she going to be fine?

G: It's the only thing we could do. She was doomed.

At least now she won't suffer.

And so,

the foxes left and left a frozen priest on the temple to their left.

Nobody cared, and nobody would notice a thing.

They went to the coast where the battleship was conveniently waiting.

F3: How did it get here?

Z: We kept driving it, so you would have support.

F4: It's still rather far off the coast. How do we get there?

G: Not all hope is lost. Because we have amphibian mode!

Fortunately, the Bradley wasn't overloaded, so it did not sink like a rock.

The ship opened a hatch from the side,

and let the Bradley enter through a ramp.

F4: Great! We are back home!

F6: I hope my room is still there.

G: Yes, your room is as you left it.

But wouldn't you first want a celebratory meal?

F6: Definitely.

The foxes had some crab meat with celery and mushroom "cream" for dinner,

because they still had no milk.

They also had chorleywood juice.

F1: Where will be going next?

Z: To the east. 'A' said that it was better if we stayed on the nearest edge.

F2: So we will be going back?

Z: Correct. It should take us around four days to reach our destination,

since I tripled the ship's cruise speed.

F4: Is 'A' back already?

G: Apparently not. Man, just for how long does he plan to keep going?

Z: Biology indicates that he should already have finished.

G: Could you go check? I really don't want to.

Z: Sure.

Z: ...No, he is still having sex.

F3: The crab is quite good.

F6: I think the best part is the juice.

G: How can you?... You know, I'm glad that you enjoyed the meal.

F2: Aw! Thank you for cooking!

G: Yeah, no problem.

F6: I forgot about my sourdough.

After that, the cat-eyed dogs slept on their mats,

because mattresses are for babies.

Now, as for the empress...

In a foggy land, from a the bottom of a lake she commands.

When she looks up, the bottom follows.

Some rise, many go down.

A titan appears from the shadows.

E22: Oh, are you my lover? I must admit, that was mind-blowing.

G: No, I'm not him. I came to judge what you did.

E22: What a spoilsports. Go on.

G: When people starved, weren't you eating ice cream?

E22: Oh, that. I must admit I was quite drunk that time,

but I donated to charity, gentleman.

G: Tell me, was getting drunk and going to parties part of the job?

E22: You're no fun! I can do whatever I want on my free time.

G: And where did all the party money come from?

E22: Investments?

G: One last chance. Why did you do it?

E22: Do what?

G: Everything. Why did you do everything you did?

E22: ...You know, I could have been a goody two-shoes all my life,

never sworn, drank or partied,

but I would never have been more that one than a number,

insignificant, confused, and useless. So, I called their attention.

E22: I filled forms, and what I wanted, I got.

Sure, not everything I did was sunshine and rainbows, but it worked.

E22: If I could choose again between being

some scared church girl and a "dirty",

powerful woman, you know what I would find prettier.

G: That's all I needed to hear.

...Yet another digit.

The titan grabbed its scythe, and with its blade severed the woman's head.

Now, that is some industrial precision.