# Ch.32: Border control
After going around the grounds, the sun started to set.
G: So, how are you doing?
J: I'm not done yet. But as much as I hate the bastards, I still have to sleep.
F5: And what takes you so long?
J: Well, I could just kill him and call it a day,
but there are better ways of making him pay.
F2: Uh, for what?
J: Existing!
Jack, always sadistic.
J: For example,
I'm in the process of copying all his memories and storing them in the office,
so I can later take advantage of the intelligence.
F5: Hey, how about a cup of coffee?
J: WE ARE A LAKE! WE DO NOT EAT COFFEE!
F6: By the way, what do we have for dinner?
Z: MREs.
F3: It would seem we are running out of them.
Z: You could hunt some things.
J: Fashion some tentacle stew?
F4: Please no!
G: We will look for game after we leave this place, ok?
They ate rehydrated air-dried,
freeze-fried seaweed-spam gnocchi with mushroom sauce and trail mix,
then went to sleep.
Hold on... I've got a phonecall.
Uh-huh, yes. What do you mean that isn't a thing?
Anyways, the next day Jack was STILL doing his thing.
F1: When will you be finished, sir?
J: About midday, so I won't have to see you until then!
F3: You seem oddly cheerful.
J: Because you are annoying as fuck. Alsoivegottaworkbye! *runs away*
G: Well, there he goes.
Z: The emperor's mind is to the other side.
J: *from afar* FUCK!
Fortunately, he remembered that he could move the door to his mind realm,
so he just put it in front of him and left.
F2: So, what should we do now?
F4: Can't we relax for a minute?
Z: We should still go towards the east.
G: Apparently, mister Klingon ruled the kingdoms to the east,
so we won't be stopping for a while at least.
F5: And what if I have to take a piss?
G: ...We can stop if you need to go to the bathroom.
F6: Can I take this pretty rock I found?
It was a large crystal of feldspar.
Z: No souvenirs.
F6: Pretty please?
G: Well-
Z: No.
F6: Awww...
Then, after stealing a lot of gold and bombarding an exit, they left.
To the other side, there wasn't a single blade of grass.
Instead the land was covered in Paris green and steel.
F2: Wow...
F4: I guess this place really is full of steel.
Z: And toxins which will get you killed.
F4: *inhale* C-come again?
G: Yeah... I know this is a pain,
but I think you will have to do your thing inside.
F2: What? W-where?
Z: We can make a toilet if you need to.
G: The ground is smoother though,
so maybe we could just speed through?
Z: Sure. But first, you should try giving the car a better disguise.
The Bradley changed its exterior from cloth-covered,
to angular and slightly less cloth-covered.
G: Well, that should cover it then.
Z: Thanks.
After that, it accelerated until it achieved a ludicrous speed.
it blasted through the steel roads, which sucked anyways. Plus,
the rat-humanoid-cyborg officer on the road control was too busy
eating a donutguette to chase down rich people.
*AHEM*
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
The lands where there is no man.
Where the farms are managed by metallic hands.
Everything handled by one machine, a place utmost pristine.
Where people were changed, to save them from themselves.
Man's folly, the self-fulfilling prophecy.
After having the animale rationabile[citation needed] go to the can few times,
and breaking several road tolls, they reached the eastern empire border.
It was an even more imposing mountain range, filled with bigger,
badder monsters.
G: Yeah, I don't think we have enough ammo for that. How about a break?
F3: Definitely. I was starting to get uncomfortable.
Z: We stopped once for sightseeing so it wouldn't be that stressful.
F4: Seeing that just stressed me more!
F6: It was kinda boring.
F6: By the way, can I have a cookie?
Z: You already asked this.
F6: :3
F5: It's the third, fucking, time! You hungry bitch!
F6: So, can I have a cookie?
Z: It seems you have a severe case of cookie withdrawal.
G: How about you go outside, breathe in fresh air- I mean, put your helmets on,
and relax for a while? You've earned it after all.
F6: But can I have a coo-
G: And focus on something that isn't cookies? Please, for your own good.
The foxes laid on the un-grass for a while,
and also did a bit of leisurely exercise.
Stretches, squats, one-handed press-ups, the usual.
F2: By the way, what are we waiting for?
G: I would like to discuss our next plans with 'A',
so we're waiting for him to finish.
F4: You know, I think this day has been alright.
It feels good not to have him screaming-
Jack broke down the door.
J: Ahhh... That was refreshing.
Z: You could have opened the door.
J: And where's the fun in that? You are always such a bore.
J: Anyways, what are we going to do now?
Z: We are trying to cross the border, but there are too many monsters.
J: Hmmm... As much as I would like to use a nuke,
that wouldn't be the best idea. Is there a river nearby?
G: Well, it's filled with technicolor sludge,
so calling it a river would be a lie...
J: WHERE, IS, THE WATER!?
G: A bit up north, geez!
J: Very well.
The Bradley suddenly accelerated, leaving our beloved therianthropes behind.
F4: Um... Master?
J: I will come for you shortly, stop whining.
F2: Well, at least he didn't abandon us!
J: Keep making those stupid comments and I will do it for real.
Also get to laying some mines towards the mountains.
After less than a minute,
the Bradley arrived to some rift a dozen metres wide,
containing bright pink water.
J: Alright, how about a turret battery to batter those monsters?
Z: Coming up...
The Bradley extended some tubes towards the rift.
Z: The water here is rich in carotene and fluorescent dye.
F2: Oh! I wanna see!
J: Fine. Just lay down.
F5: Oh fu-
F5 couldn't lay down fast enough, and reappeared on the office.
Since the ground was very rich in steel, they had gotten to work immediately.
F6: That's cool.
J: Good. Now get out.
They were kicked out.
F3: You became quite rude quite quickly.
J: Well, sorry! I had already gotten used to meatbags that didn't talk back.
But not actually sorry.
F1: May we know what you saw?
J: Guts!
F3: ...May we know what relevant information you acquired?
J: Well, we've got good news and bad news.
F4: Could you start-
J: The good news is that guy was a bitch and a cunt, plus on my list.
And now he's dead.
G: It's kinda amazing that you just let 'B' take the kill.
J: Well, he was nagging me, and sometimes team spirit is all about sharing!
Z: I must admit that Kirby was a nuisance.
G: I didn't really HATE him, you know. Sometimes you just get stuff wrong.
J: Pshhh. Anyways, you would have bothered me if I didn't, that's it.
F6: Who's Kirby?
Z: Klingon's real name.
F6: Oh.
F4: Weren't we talking about the news?
J: Ah yes... That was everything good.
J: Now, the problem is that while he knew several of the gods,
but he could only call them one at a time,
and they wouldn't always answer.
F1: That is quite a drawback.
J: Yeah, but it was one of the first things I knew,
so that's why I sent you through that shitty punk-punk place.
J: I guess another good thing is all the intel I got from probing his ass.
In the real world, I would be rich!
F2: Wait, this world isn't real?
J: As far as I know,
this is world is one huge joke subtracted from
the VASTLY SUPERIOR substrate that is real life.
Kind of right in many ways. Usually he doesn't seem right in any of them.
F2: W-what?
G: Look, even if this world isn't "the real deal", what you do matters here.
So don't worry about it.
F2: ...Ok?
Anywaysthischapterisgettingtoolongsoimgonnainsertafunnycommentandleaveitasisbye