# Ch.39: November 5th
There where four guilds, so let's talk about the other three.
The leader of the assassins was at the bottom of a ravine.
Very stealthy for sure, but the lack of light could make you trip.
Fortunately, Jack had one of those hundred-thousand lumen torches.
K233: Ahh! Turn off that light!
J: No.
K233: MY EYES! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
J: Well, I already know you are trash, but I would like to ask:
Why do you kill people?
K233: No, I do not kill people.
Jack turned up the brightness. Apparently,
the torch went all the way from "mighty bright" to "blazar to your face".
The guy tried turning away, but the reflective rock did not help.
K233: Ugh!
J: You git. Do not go all "ackyshually" on me, understood!?
K233: Alrig-
J: I didn't ask you to talk!
J: Now, why do you kill people?
K233: It is necessary. Otherwise there would be chaos and anarchy.
J: Ugh, all of you sound like a broken record. Are you stupid or lying?
Have you stopped beating your wife?
K233: Actually-
Jack increased the power.
The guy was already getting a nice and crisp 2kW per square metre.
K233: Nevermind!
J: Now, one lust-, Last question. If you could get a do-over,
would you stop beating your lover?
K233: I never had one! You are kidding me!
J: Hehe. Isn't that what your job is all about?
K233: You just don't get it, you lout!
J: Fuck off, man.
Now, do you like your steaks medium rare?
K233: What?
J: I take that as a yes!
Jack thoroughly cooked the Dan guy.
Now, for the financial man, a one-to-one copy of the NYSE,
because the LSE stopped being relevant ages ago.
The banker guy was inside one of the trading booths.
The reaper must have been interested in stocks.
K204: Hello, what would you like?
J: YOUR SOUL.
K204: Sir, I'm afraid that not for sale.
J: TOO BAD, BECAUSE I WILL TAKE IT ANYWAYS.
But before we go, a word from our sponsor.
K204: Um-
J: Hell! Enjoy paying for all of your sins, with interest!
You may choose to suffer in the frozen depths of Dante's Inferno™,
or suffer differently inside the lava pools of our Pop Hell™ experience.
Choose now, because there is no heaven for sinners like you!
K204: All I did was make some money.
That would only anger the worst of fundamentalists.
J: And I would agree, if what you said wasn't a mountain of shit.
K204: Is there really anything bad with charging interests?
J: Not inherently. Is there really anything bad with stealing?
K204: ...
J: Ah, you're smarter than the rest. The answer is no by the way.
I can make more stupid questions, but the results are pretty clear,
aren't they?
K204: Tough luck.
J: Tough luck for sure, but you will not get off easy.
Now let me get my stinging tree leaves... And a sewing kit!
K204: Can I get a discount for philantropy-
Jack got to work immediately, with one hundred percent interest.
After that, he visited the leader of the media guild;
an incompetent chav on one of those postmodern glass buildings,
completely glued to his chair.
J: Ah, if it isn't my favourite sissy luser!
Have the worms from your maggotbox finally eaten what's left of your brain?
K22: AH, THE REAPER! PLEASE SPARE ME, I'VE BEEN A GOOD BOY!
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
J: I will take that as a yes.
K22: Wait, you're not gonna kill me?
J: Oh, definitely, but first,
I wanted to get a good laugh at the person who
couldn't even sort a list in less than ten minutes.
K22: Damn, you got me good.
Does that put me on a black list or somethin'?
J: Absolutely. I have no patience for those that pose as nerds.
K22: Wait a minute, you can't just kill me because you didn't like me.
The judge must be out 'cause I ain't getting my due process!
J: Shut up. I am the witness, jury, and executioner. You get what you deserve.
But there is something I would like to ask:
How did an ass like you acquire such an office?
K22: Well, some weird ass people asked me how I would like it,
and then I got it.
J: Seriously! Computers were barely a thing in the 1930s!
K22: Uh, dunno. I wasn't alive by then, but they sure had some ladies.
J: I guess that if you became powerful,
it was because you got lucky and were really good at polishing those boots.
Isn't that right, yes-man?
K22: Yes- I mean, no.
J: To be fair,
I don't care if you asked to install Microshaft on your offices,
or made up some more bullshit on this bullshit world. What I want to know,
is what you did before.
K22: Bitch,
you're thinking I've got the space to
remember what happened three hundred years ago?
J: What!? No, you must be kidding me!
K22: Nah, you old-ass skeleton. Look at the calendar, it says three hundred.
Now don't come at me with some bullshit about
something I did three fuckin' centuries ago.
The newspaper didn't lie when it said 'Year 312'.
K22: What I'm thinking is that whatever killing
order you had must have turned into dust by now,
and that you should just let me go.
J: ...
...
Jack threw a pillar at him. Attitude readjusted.
Now, back with the 86 96 a7 85 a2.
J: That's it. Apparently three hundred years have passed.
Z: Perhaps we went overboard on the drawbacks.
J: You don't say! How is that even possible!?
Z: The language was rather ambiguous.
J: Ugh. Who knows what was of the world in three hundred years!?
F1: My condolences, sir.
G: Wait, we can't be sure that time moves at the same rate,
so maybe we aren't that screwed.
Z: Yet.
F2: That is so terrible! Is there anything that could cheer you up?
J: No, just leave it like that.
I will keep working to forget. *sips teacup*
Meanwhile, in the other cave, out of the twenty persons that came in,
about three came out, including our rare Balkan lynx,
with the blood from his nose still stuck on his fur.
58: It was a tough battle, but we survived, and now the weather clears!
Huzzah!
Then they stumbled upon our dearest vulpes.
58: Why do you come back so quickly, foreigners? Was the hydra too scary?
F1: Actually, we already killed it. Now we are bringing back the heads.
F6 showed a bag containing three heads of a very dead lizard.
The lynx's group just stood there staring like idiots, even after they left.
J: Ughhh... This world totally, positively, absolutely sucks.
*sips magically refilling teacup*
He tried printing an image of the empress.
Since since his printer was a device only existing in the mind of man,
it actually worked.
Upon seeing the image, Jack spat out his blinker fluid, then blinked.
G: Are you alright?
J: ...You know, I think that I will lay the empress,
and THEN I will slay the empress.
G: Dude! That is sick!
Z: Do you mean as in excellent or-
G: DISGUSTING!
J: Fine! I lay her, and then you slay her!
F4: What is going on?
J: The empress is a ten out of ten would bang. In fact,
would bang several times!
F6: Maybe you could-
G: NO!
J: What is the deal then?
G: *inhale*... I will deal with her after you... Do your thing.
J: Suit yourself.
F6: Me?
G: NO!
After that,
the foxes went back to the temple and showed the heads to the elder.
3332: How are all of you still alive?
F5: Because we are STRONG! *Flexes medium-sized muscles*
3332: Ugh, just go away. You are forgiven.
F5: Mire these biceps, one-and-a-half pl8 natty.
3332: What?
F1: We will be leaving now.
F5: Bet you can't even lift a pebble, how's that, huh!?
F1 dragged him out of the temple,
but in our hearts, we all know that the priest was absolutely mogged.
Whatever that means.