DUE TO INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED DURING THE WRITING OF THIS CHAPTER, THE AUTHOR WAS UNABLE TO WRITE THE AUTHOR'S CORNER. THE SITUATION SHALL BE UNDERSTOOD BY THOSE WHO READ THIS, SO, IN THE MEANWHILE, PLEASE ENJOY YOURSELF.
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The familiar stage shines dramatically under the spotlight as the show prepares itself to get ready. Some murmurs can be heard on the background as someone talks in a grandiose tone, while others laugh at the story. Sadly, the thick curtains drowned most of the sounds, so the content was almost inaudible.
As the time for the show drew near, silence fell upon the stage as the lights dimmed out and only the single spotlight landed near the corner of the curtain.
“Ladies, gentlemen and other type of creatures that inhabit this land. I welcome you all to the second…”
“Hiii! I’m Lily!”
“Deary… I told you to wait until I told you to, didn’t I? Also, you are Pea here, remember?”
“Whoops. He he he.”
As the small banter went on, the large red curtains slid open revealing as a large barbarian with a small dragonid-fairy sitting on his shoulder. Wearing an uncharacteristic tux and a cute white sun-dress respectively, they looked a bit too formal compared to the last show, however, it fit their roles as the showmen quite well.
Shaking his head, the large barbarian quickly recovered his focus and said.
“I’m Wulf and this is my daughter Pea, and today we are the ones who will keep this show on the road.”
“Hiii!”
“Now, to the questions…” As the barbarian prepared to pick the cards, a voice came from the deep parts of the still dark stage.
“Hey, Wulf, you forgot to introduce us!” The voice said in a slightly worried tone. The Barbarian blinked before smiling wryly.
“Sorry, not used to this whole Q&A thing.” He said before clearing his throat. “Well then, if you would, a round of applause to the cast who is under your barrage of probably immoral questions!” As he said that, the back of the room suddenly lit up as spotlights flooded the people sitting behind there.
“AAAARGH! MY EYES!” Said the green eyed golem as he coiled in pain. “For Cygnas’s sake father, give some more warning next time.” Complained Gon as he tried to protect his eyes with his arms. “I was in the cave just now, eyes used to darkness, you know?”
“That’s what you get for not telling me ahead of the time about this, Bucolic Buffalo my dear.” Wulf said in a cheerful tone, however, his last words made the golem swallow his saliva and nod meekly.
“Bad Booh!” Pea added with an angry tone before blinking. “Wait, why is Booh bad?”
“Don’t mind it, dear.” Wulf said to his daughter before clearing his throat and taking the question cards once again. “Well, since you helped me with the whole Show guiding thing, I’ll make the first question yours, Cygnas.”
“Huh? Tha-that wasn’t my intention!” The goddess replied wryly as she smiled wryly, however, her voice fell onto deaf ears as the barbarian smiled happily.
“First one is from Tomolone… Geez, what with kids and their web names nowadays? What does that even mean? Anyway, he said: ‘So, I may or may not have (jokingly) got some followers of the Cygnas cult. Like, real followers. Not readers, but people believing in Cygnas.
Yeah, how do you feel about those 5 people?’”
“...”
At his words, silence fell upon the stage as everyone simply looked blankly towards Wulf, then towards the Air-headed goddess, who had a blank look that slowly started becoming embarrassed.
Raising himself from the chair, Gon made his way towards her, put his two hands on the girl’s shoulder and said with a serious tone.
“Congratulations on your ascension to godhood. Now you better take care of your followers.”
“Wait… Wha…”
“Next question!” Gon shouted with a wide smile.
“Wait, I didn’t even answer that yet!” Cygnas interrupted him. “I mean… that’s… nice, I guess, but then I’m not a real goddess in the real world so I’m not entirely sure… I mean, I don’t think I’m exactly god material either but…”
“Next!” Gon shouted once again as the goddess started an embarrassed mumbling that half denied half felt glad about the situation.
“…This might be more fun than what I initially thought.” Wulf said with a smirk before shifting the question card. “Okay, next question: This one goes to Bucolic Buffallo…” Gon flinched once again. “And the Author… Seriously, how the hell do someone represent themselves inside their own fiction as an unclear entity?”
“Erm… Wulf, you do know this is Insania Online, right?” The Author asked with a wry smile, receiving a sigh from the barbarian.
“Okay, Okay. I won’t try to think too much into it.” He complained. “Xtremeloldude…” For a brief moment the barbarian made a blank face. “Asked: In a scale from one to angora Rabbit, how fluffy is Aura?”
“What’s an Angoah rabbunny, Daddy?” Pea asked curious. “Is it different from other bunny?”
“It’s probably some kind of really fluffy bunny, dear, seeing how the question was structured, at least.” Wulf replied before turning back to his son who had made a dive towards the side of the large blue fox and dug his face in her soft fur.
“I have no idea of how fluffy an angora rabbit is, But AURA IS FLUFFIEREST!” Gon shouted as he put on a silly smile and enjoyed himself on the blue fur.
It didn’t escape the others as the kitsune who stood by his side put on a small pouting face before looking away. Sadly, Gon was too occupied at the moment to notice that and the fact that the author put on a very evil looking smile in his face.
“I’m almost pitying you right now, Son.” Wulf said amused before shaking his head and focusing back on the card. “Well, another question from the same guy with doubtful taste for name.”
“Erm… Sir Wulf…” Hanbei interrupted him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to criticize the reader’s names in a story, you know?”
“I see…”
“But his name is funny?” Pea said confused, as if not understanding why her father was criticized either. “Extemeowdudi. He he.”
“Anyway, he’s asking Crys and Author why Crys never made any cookie in game if it’s so clear that the author and Gon like them.”
“Important plot devices.” The author said with a nod.
“Gon likes cookies? I don’t think I remember him mentioning that to me?” Crys replied with a tilt of her head.
“…Since he based Gon off himself…” A certain gnome interrupted the answer. “Does this mean that he didn’t add cookies to the story so he could keep them for himself?”
At his words, the Author flinched and looked away before starting to whistle a certain game’s music. His reaction was so obvious that it was left clear that no answer was needed. Sighing loudly, Wulf shook his head before looking to the next card.
“And this one is from… Emeraldge. At least the name is less bad than the previous one.” He commented to himself. “And he’s asking Bucolic Buffalo when he will go around making new weapons. And he’s specially keen on wanting to see some head smashing with a hammer.”
Making his question, Wulf once again turned to Gon, only to see him still in a blissful mood while hugging Aura, who, by now, started becoming a bit embarrassed due to the focal attention, but still clearly enjoying the owner’s attention.
However, they couldn’t let that last for much longer, seeing how he still had to answer the question.
Wulf looked at Pea and made a motion towards the Golem. Pea replied with a cheerful shout before darting away towards the golem and head-butting him in a full speed flight.
“OUCH!” Gon shouted in pain before rolling a couple of meters back. “What was that for?”
“Question.” Wulf said briefly.
“Oh. Yeah. Just killed a boss. Will start a crafting session soon.” He said while rubbing his head. “Ooow… did you have to resort to violence?”
“Yes I did.” Wulf replied briefly before going back to reading the cards. “Now, this one is for Kotetsu, from the same guy as before.” He said while looking at the old man wearing a guns ‘n roses shirt. “He wants to know how long have you been training and if you still do it nowadays.”
“Ooh? Someone interested in martial arts is it?” The old man asked with a savage smirk. “Yes, I’ve been training even to this day. In fact, I’ve been training almost every day ever since I was fifteen years old.” He laughed loudly at this. “Nothing like a good rock ’n roll to keep you pumped up during training sessions.”
“Did you say Rock ‘n Roll?” Wulf asked surprised, and the old man nodded proudly. For a moment the two shared an amused look before the barbarian finally smiled. “We really need to meet up and share a drink later.”
“Perfect! I think I saw a licor store selling this cachaça drink. Been wanting to try that one.” Kotetsu said with a smirk.
“I got some good ones back in my house, why don’t we…”
“Grandfather…” Yuu interrupted the two, who blinked surprised before clearing their throats and finish with a nod to each other.
“Okay, then, back to the questions.” Wulf said before changing the cards in his hand. “… Seriously? This one is from... IsUnavailable...” A sigh escaped his lips. “Bucolic Buffalo, he said: Why not try poison, dark and fire to make a stink bomb… I’m sincerely lost with what he’s asking here.”
“Probably crystal tinkering.” Gon explained while making his way back to the chair and sitting down as Aura took her place at his feet. “Well, I could try to see what happens, but can’t say what the result will be until the test. That said, using the combination for poison is more likely to create a poison bomb than anything.” He said while blinking and thinking for a moment. “Well, why shouldn’t I try this no-”
“NO!” Two voices echoed in synchrony, as both Lily, the undine, and a mummy appeared from the backstage. “Do NOT start experimenting!” Ozzur said worriedly. “We need to have this stage in one piece, you know?”
“Yes, teacher. Leave that for the main story. After we give you some space!”
Gon made a pout and sat back in his chair while crossing his arms. While some of the characters watched the scene confused, Ozzur and Lily both sighed in relief as they made their way back to their places.
“…Okay?” Wulf said confused. “I’m not asking. Anyway, next question, Author. When will…” Wulf’s words stopped as he read the question and he finally sighed. “Mind if I take this one over?” He asked the author, who tilted his head confused before nodding. “Anyway, the question is… How long will it take until Pea raze down a village.”
“Ten seconds.” Gon said briefly, however he was ignored as Wulf took a deep breath and started.
“Look, I do know that she isn’t exactly the most well mannered kid, but it’s not like she would destroy a whole village by herself. That’s just plain impossible, okay?” Wulf said.
“Five seconds.” Gon said once again.
“Besides, I’ve been making sure to keep her free-movement area limited so that she can’t wander off too far and cause problems, so there’s no need to…”
“Now.”
“Stop that Bucoli…” Wulf said angrily while turning to Gon, only to see him and the rest of the cast all looking up while standing behind their chairs.
“Whoops.” The ominous cheerful voice echoed from far above, soon followed by the sound of metal twisting and bending.
Not even a second later, the walkway where the spotlights fell, smashing the now disoccupied chairs and leaving a long rectangular crater in the ground where, as well as leaving most of the stage dark thanks to the fact that no more light shone on it.
For a few seconds, Wulf watched everything in a blank gaze before he finally looked up, seeing as the small draco-fairy flew near the edge of the broken piece where the walkway once was fixed to the support.
“…Forget everything I said.” Wulf said with a sigh.
“It’s not usually this bad, but man, was it a perfect moment for that joke!” Gon said cheerfully. “Well, guess its about time to get in general mode.” He said while taking a deep breath.
“Can someone close the curtains while we fix everything back here?” Wulf shouted before the large red curtains slowly came to a close. “We’ll be back shortly.”
…
As a few minutes passed, some voices started echoing from behind the thick curtains, one sounding extremely angry while the other sounded a mix of laugh and pain. After a few seconds of these sounds echoing, the curtains slowly came to open themselves only to reveal as the cast watched in amazement as Gon was held by the neck of his obi-like armor by a very angry looking fire elemental.
Noticing the attention gathering on them, Ashley finally pushed him back angrily, letting the golem fall heavily on the chair which quickly fell back to the ground thanks to the excess force. Making her way to the counter, Ashley didn’t see as Gon raised his thumbs up and said: Worth it.
Wearing his usual leather armor with hooded cape, the elemental sat down at questions’s corner and sighed before saying.
“So. We are back. I’m Ashley and have been tasked with this annoying task of making the questions for the next part of the show, seeing how the barbarian is giving a lecture to the little destroyer.” He said annoyed before leaning back on the chair and sighing.
“What about the clothes you were supposed to use?” Kotetsu asked confused while noticing that the elemental didn’t wear anything different.
Giving a dry glance towards the old man, Ashley sighed before she said:
“It was a dress.” The elemental said in almost a growling tone. “A bloody red dress.”
“You mean a blood red dress, right?” The author commented with a smirk while giving a distant high-five to Gon who was still laying in his back.
Receiving a death stare from his own character, the Author quickly gave in before looking away in fear for his life. For a few more seconds there was silence in the stage as the elemental slowly calmed himself down.
“Anyway, since I got this Cygnas forsaken chore, might as well try to end it early.” He said while skimming through the cards and burning out the ones that had been read already. Finally finding one that hadn’t been asked yet, she finally read it. “This Griix guy wants to know… Hey, golem bastard. And also to the megalomaniacal piece of trash, I guess. He asked when will the guild go in action. And why they didn’t appear in the real life arc.”
“Wait, they did appear!” Gon said while lifting his chair back up. “Well, at least two third of them appeared. They were the Paul and Barbara that appear when I was arriving at my building with Yuu, remember?”
“Speaking of which, I don’t think we met the last one, right?” Hanbei added confused, and Gon nodded.
“Yeah, that last one… It’s not that weird for him to disappear for months at a time.” The author said with a wry smile as he looked away. Gon sighed for a long time before nodding.
“And it’s only been what, two weeks of in-story time? Still within his usual disappearance time.” Gon added.
“That said, they will appear soon in this arc.” The author added quickly.
““We will?”” The two draconids asked surprised from the far end of the story.
“Yeah, but for now you guys can go back to being forgotten characters. Can’t miss my chance of making a fourth wall joke out of that, right?” Gon said with a smirk before the two members of his guild slowly felt the information sinking in.
They started an angry cry, but they were slowly dragged in by the darkness of the forgotten characters long before their voices could be heard.
“…What the hell just happened?” Ashley asked horrified as the two characters simply disappeared from existence.
“Plot devices.” The author nodded before making a motion. “You’ll forget them in no time. Next question!”
Ashley nodded slowly before moving on to the next card.
“Errm… To the slime ninja maid thingy there.” Ashley said while waving towards Yami, who replied with a nod. “There’s this Zip guy… He’s asking if you shouldn’t get some throwing knifes and flash bangs… are these those annoying bombs of light? Anyway, he’s telling you to steal them from the piece of trash.”
“Fu fu fu.” The maid said with a smirk while covering her mouth with her hand. “Consider it done already. This will be amusing.”
“Wait, what?” Gon asked surprised. “And hey, who’s a pile of trash?” He shouted angrily.
“Well, I must agree with him there.” Yami said with a nod. “Isn’t it clear that he’s a disgusting pervert instead of trash?”
“…It seems like I’ll have to teach you a lesson later, Ero-maid.” Gon said as a vein popped up in his head.
“Okay, leaving the two retards there, still the same zip thing is asking...” He stopped for a moment before turning to the cast, her eyes running through each of their faces until its stopped over a certain kitsune’s face. “Ermmm… By any chance, you wouldn’t happen to be Yuu, would you?” She asked with a much meeker and respectful tone. Yuu nodded confused, which made Ashley sigh in depression. “Well… Zip is asking what you think about your drunk actions, and is stating in big bold italicized flashing letters that you should never, ever, under any circumstances, get drunk again.”
“Huh?” Yuu asked surprised while thinking of his words, before finally blushing into a bright red coloration as she started mumbling something in a low voice.. However, her reaction didn’t escape Kotetsu’s notice, as he widened his eyes and turned to his grand daughter
“I want to hear about that.” He said with a cheerful amused tone. “So, what exactly happened?”
At his words, Yuu only blushed even more as she started muttering things that had no meaning and looked from one side to the other.
Seeing that they weren’t going to make any progress with her in that state, Ashley quickly burned the card away before going to the next one as the nightmares from seeing the angry drunk Yuu replayed vividly in her memories.
“Okay, done with that. Good. Next question…” He stopped for a moment while skimming through the question. “…I think the questioned is called Metrux32… But… What language is this?”
Blinking surprised, the Cast all looked confused towards the elemental before Crys finally snapped out of the confused state and blinked herself behind the elemental, who almost jumped out in surprise as she noticed the goddess reading over his shoulder.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
“Oh, he wrote it in another language…” She said confused before waving her hand over the card. “There you go. That should help.”
At a wave of her hands, the card’s letter shifted and rearranged themselves as the magic worked its effect, ending up in a translated phrase.
As the goddess smiled happily, the elemental simply stared at her in shock and confusion as the goddess whom most of his world venerated put herself so close to her.
“…Ashley?” Cygnas called her, and the elemental snapped out of it by shaking her head.
“Sorry… I… Ermm… Well…”
“This is out of continuity! Don’t think too hard!” Gon shouted from the crowd, only to receive a death glare from the elemental.
“Sorry.” Ashley cleared her throat as she saw Cygnas smiling gently and wryly at her before finally blinking back to her seat. “Well, the question is… Trash pile. He wants to know what orders you plan on making your next weapons seeing how you’ve been using your for some time already.” The elemental looked at the golem dryly while adding in a voice loud enough for him to hear. “I really hope your weapon breaks from over use.”
“Aww, You love me and you know that.” The golem said while faking a bashfulness. Ashley would have rebutted immediately if it wasn’t for the chill running down on her spine as the still bashful kitsune gave her a brief glance. “…What, No comeback?” Gon asked confused before shrugging. “Anyway, I plan on getting myself some heavy hitters next, so I’m kinda of torn up between the good ol’e hammer or the great sword.”
“…Isn’t that thing you carry along a great sword?” Ashley asked genuinely confused.
“NO! THAT’S A LONG SWORD! I REFUSE ACCEPTING THAT AS ANYTHING ELSE!” Gon said before entering a sulking mood. “Stupid game and his arbitrary weapon classification rules.”
“…Okaay?” Ashley said confused, only to watch as his goddess made a motion to not think too much about it. “Well… Second is for the kitsune’s grandfather. He wants to know what you think of the trash pile, seeing how you don’t seem to be as jealous as your son.” Ashley gave Gon a glance for a moment before looking to the old man, who had an amused smile.
“Oh. He’s amusing, that’s for sure.” He said with a loud laugh.
“Amusing? Really?” Ashley asked with a deadpan disgusted look. “…That thing?”
“Yup. That, and despite how Yuu is, I don’t think she’s bad judge of character.” The old man replied with a more serious look. “Besides, who am I to judge who my grand daughter wants to marry when my wife chose me despite me being a commoner?”
“Boom! Plot exposition!” The author said with a smirk.
“Can you even do that?” Cygnas asked confused.
“My story! My Rules!” The author said with a stuffed out chest and crossing his arms over full of pride.
“Okay...” Ashley added with a weirded out look. “…WAIT A SECOND! ISN’T IT YOUR FAULT THAT I AM LIKE THIS?” She shouted as she stood up in anger and pointed at the author.
“Nooo? How could that possibly be my fault?” The author said wryly as he looked away, trying to avoid eye contact.
“You… YOU BASTARD!” Ashely said as she started jumping over the showman’s table and running over to the Author’s side, where he grabbed his neck and started strangling him. “IF YOU DIDN’T DECIDE TO MAKE ME LIKE THIS, I WOULDN’T BE SUFFERING TO THAT GOLEM’S ANNOYING BANTER!”
“*pant* Wait… *Pant* Breathing… *Hack, cough* Hard…”
As the author’s extremely handsome face slowly started getting a more blueish coloration, Gon quickly sprouted back to action by jumping and grabbing Ashley by the arms and pulling her away from the author as the fire elemental tried to bite and attack him.
“Easy there rival.” The golem said while pulling the androgynous elemental back. “If the author dies now, we won’t get a continuation of the story, you know?”
“GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…”
The elemental growled angrily for a few second while eyeing both Gon and the Author, who was kneeling down on the ground with his hand over his throat trying to breathe in. After a few seconds he finally calmed down and turned away while still growling.
Subtly, the Author raised his hand and made a thumbs up towards the golem, who replied in kind before turning back to his seat.
“*grumble grumble*Nolo*grumble grumble* Think about *Grumble grumble* New monster hunter. *Grumble grumble* Tips for new hunters*Grumble grumble*”
At his words, both Gon and the Author froze in their tracks as the two turned their heads towards the elemental like badly oiled machines. Their previous states nowhere near to how they were as a wide smile appeared in their face.
““TEAM RAIZEX FOR THE WIN!”” They shouted in synchrony. “I’m SOOO using Aerial switch axe!” “But bushido bow looks soooo badass.” “CUTTING TAILS WITH ARROWS! SO FREAKING SWEET MAN!” “What about Aerial great sword?” “No. Hunting horn is the way to go man.” “And the new Zinogre?” “MAAAAAN! I HEARD HE’S A MONSTER!” “LAGIA IS BACK! LAGIA EFFING ACRUS IS BACK MAAAAAAN!”
…
Ten minutes later as the two idiots went on and on about the features of the new monster hunter game, the remainder of the cast finally lost their patience while Ashley regained her’s. Clearing her throat, the two idiots… Ermm… The idiot and the handsome fool both stopped and turned to him with wry smiles.
“We… Went on and on… Didn’t we?” Gon asked and received a slow nod in reply. “Sorry…”
“A-Anyway. For the second part…” The author said. “To put it simply, I’d say to look for which weapon you like the best first, then search some tutorials online.”
“Y-Yeah… And if you have a friend who knows the game for longer, don’t be shy to ask for some guidance.” Gon added. “The game’s not simple, by any means, and we could write a whole chapter only about this.”
“Well, lastly, don’t try to stick to just one weapon. Try branching to different types of weapons or even making many different weapons of the same type. Depending on the weapon, you might even change your playstyle completely thanks to that small detail.”
Gon nodded in agreement and prepared himself to add something more, but receiving a death glare from Cyg, he quickly calmed and sat down, while clearly fidgeting wanting to speak more. The author wasn’t in a much better state, though.
“Anyway, this nolo guy still wants to know: The whole main cast, how long will it take to trash pile to ask Yuu out?” At her words, the whole stage went silent as Yuu became even more embarrassed and this time even Gon blushed slightly.
“Aren’t they going out already?” “They still didn’t confess?” “I expected Gon to be a bit more shameless to be honest.” “Well, they are somewhat cute when we touch this topic.”
As the various cast gave their opinions to themselves, the one who finally gave the final words was, surprisingly, Ashley, who sighed before saying.
“To be honest, from what I saw they are in a more than friend, less than lovers state, and from the way they react to each other, I’d say its only a matter of weeks before it becomes official.” The elemental gave her opinion on the matter, stunning most of the characters as they stared at her in confusion and shock. “What, isn’t that obvious?”
“…I kind of forgot, but she’s really good at relationship advices, isn’t she?” Yami asked in a surprised tone while nodding to herself.
“W-What? Why are you all looking at me like that?” The Elemental asked embarrassed as she noticed the whole cast giving her sympathetic looks. “A-Anyway, that said, there’s this… J0nn0…” He blinked surprised before shaking her head. “How the hell did I even pronounce that… Anyway. He asked if there will be non-player deaths…?”
Frowning confused, Ashley turned towards the Author as she tried to understand the question.
“Yes. Much later, though.” The author replied seriously for once.
Not really understanding what those words meant, the elemental finally shrugged and went on to the next question.
“He also asked… Can he use IO for his… NQaA story…?” Ashley frowned once again before sighing. “Why do I have the feeling I’m missing out a lot of things with all these abbreviations and strange terms?”
“Just your imagination.” The author replied briefly before shrugging. “Sure sna… Erm, J0nn0. Go ahead.”
Ashley nodded and burned out the card as she went to the next one. Blinking surprised slightly, she started reading the whole question before finally frowning and turning towards a small group of characters a bit more isolated.
“I’m… Not sure what he meant, but this JohnPlume guy…” At her words, the Author suddenly shivered in a reactive fear for a moment before trying to put a though front with a fake smile. “… This JhonPlume guy seems to be asking the gods what you think of the Great Cygnas being a pet to the pile of trash, and how comparable it is to the fear he have for his comments?” She frowned. “So many confusing words here… I think I got most of it righ…”
“…The Grand Goddess… Is his pet?” Orfeon, the great god of war asked with a blank face while slowly turning towards the seat where Gon sat. Seeing as he looked away, Orfeon slowly turned back towards Arkhoss, seeing as he also looked away, the god of war slowly turned to look back forward, before finally foam formed around his mouth and his eyes went blank.
“…I’ll ignore what that question means and go ahead to the next one…” Ashley started while wanting to change the matter at hand as fast as possible, but she was interrupted when the sound of clearing the throat echoed from the corner where the gods were.
“I think it would be unfair to the readers to not explain this, but… Lady Cygnas threatened me to never reveal her situation to others, or else…” He gulped down saliva as his fear passed on his eyes. Fixing his necktie, he finally said. “She… She would… Oh Lady Cygnas… She said she would curse me with being unable to tie my tie in a perfectly symmetrical manner.”
His words were whispered as if the very definition of nightmare had materialized in front of him. Sitting down on the chair, he slowly brought his knees up against his chest and started muttering words of fear and terror as he rocked back and forth in the chair while making sure to not move too much and mess his suit up.
An awkward silence spread through the room as they all stared at the terrified god for a moment. Ashley’s mind simply couldn’t take it anymore as she finally decided that it was time for the next question.
“That same guy is also asking Tris, Cygnas’… MOTHER?” The elemental said in shock for a moment before she finally shook his head and smiled. “Don’ think too much. Don’t think too much. Don’t think too much. He’s asking what you think of the fact that Cygnas is dedicating her life to serving the pile of trash... This must be a nightmare. Definetively, this is a nightmare… And helping him fulfill all his desires and needs. And he also says something about her possibly being an M… Does that goes for majestic? Due to being so eager to do that…”
As Ashley looked around searching for the character who was supposed to be answering the question, she finally stopped when she saw a woman standing on the backstage while tying down a vampire with a thick bundle of rope as he squirmed back and forth shouting something about daughter and kill a bastard.
The woman wearing a lab coat walked into the stage with a satisfied smile after kicking the man back to the backstage and she finally sighed.
“Whew. What was the question?”
“Erm… Who are you again?” Hanbei asked confused as she looked at the woman.
“Oh, don’t worry. I only appeared once in a side story. No wonder you don’t know me.” The woman replied before giving the author a brief glance. “I’ll be counting on you to put me on the main story soon, okay?”
“… I won’t make promises…” The author said while looking away. She replied with a nod before turning back to Ashley.
“Oh right. Cygnas serving Gon. To be honest, it’s an interesting thing that we are actually glad it happened.” She replied with a cheerful tone. “Both on the parent side, seeing our little girl relating with someone other than us, and on the scientific side, seeing how her matrixes react to that interactions are both wonderful experiences to us.”
“M-Mom!” Cygnas said as she blushed slightly. Tris laughed a bit before approaching the girl-looking goddess and hugging her tightly. “S-Stop! It’s embarrassing…”
“Anyway, despite what the author may make it look like, our little girl is actually working really hard on the back of the scenes, hunting down bugs, hackers wannabe and other things, as well as mediating in some situations where her attention is needed. Up to now, not even once was a GM needed to solve some kind of problem, you know?” Tris said cheerfully. “Also, as Kotetsu here said, it’s not my choice who my little girl falls for…”
“MOTHER!”
“But if I even dream of the boy making her sad. I’ll be sure to hunt him to the end of the world.” At her words and angelic smile towards Gon, the golem shivered in fear while snapping out of his embarrassed state from the earlier question. Looking around confused, he couldn’t understand what was happening. “Anyway, I’m really proud of you for getting your first followers, my dear!” She said suddenly while ruffling Cygnas hair, only to receive a cry of embarrassment from the girl whose face was slowly becoming redder.
“...think too much, don’t think too much, don’t think too much, don’t think too much.” Ashley said before slapping his cheeks with his hands and turning on to the next card. “We are almost over, so let’s get this done quickly. This…” She sighed. “I’m really starting to understand why the barbarian was fussing over the names so much… o0Sky0o is asking if there will be an… MH? Regional hunting to gather the cast later.”
“Oh, very probably, yes.” The author said with a proud nod. “Though they guild will probably be up together much earlier that.”
“…That’s it?” Ashley asked confused.
“…yeah?”
“No funny idea, odd situations or reality breaking moments?” The elemental asked dubiously before the author nodded once again. “…Okay… Anyway… he also wants to know if there will be underwater hunting.”
“That’s… Actually a good question.” The author said with a confused look. “Can’t give a definite answer right now, but I’d guess that yes, there will be.” The author said while not looking sure about his answer.
For a few more seconds all that echoed in the stage was silence as Ashley kept staring at the man in suspicion and worry. But seeing that nothing was happening, the elemental sighed in relief and went on to the next question.
“Slayer eight hundred eighty… Seriously, what’s wrong with the mothers who name their sons with such names? That’s just sick!” The elemental finally burst into anger.
“Erm… Rival.” Gon said wryly. “That’s not their real names, you know?”
“…Really?” The elemental asked dubiously, but Gon nodded weakly. “…I see… I think… AND WHO THE HELL IS YOUR RIVAL?” The elemental shouted angrily before turning back to the card. “Why me, Cygnas, Why me?” Reading the question, the elemental quickly frowned and turned towards Yuu, who was only now recovering from her embarrassment, and sighed. “…Yeah, I think I’m going to skip this one. She suffered enough already.” He said with a hint of pity in her voice before going back to reading the next question. “He’s asking the sadistic bastard of an author if he plans on making the Cyclops some kind of team rocket character? How the hell can one man be called a team? And what the hell is a rocket?”
“Don’t think too much.” The author said sagely before nodding. “And yeah, Slayer. That’s somewhat the plan.”
“Okay. Last card. Thank Cygnas!” Ashley said while sighing in relief and reading the card. “…Oh, it’s for me.” Quickly re-reading the question, Ashley nodded before clearing his throat. “Markthar, To be honest, I’m kind of in my last legs here. I’m pretty much on my last maturing state which is where I choose my gender, so there Isn’t much I can do about that besides leave it to luck when it comes to my appearance.” She said solemnly. “Worst case scenario, I stay as I am. Best case scenario, I’ll probably change to a more masculine appearance… There isn’t much that I could do to try and change how things will turn out…” As the elemental said all that with a sad tone, it finally stopped and turned towards the Author.
“… Ooh boy. I can totally see what’s going to happen.” The Author said as he smiled wryly to Ashley’s ferocious look.
“That said… I think I may have a talk with this… Author… Before everything is done.” She smiled victoriously before going to read the last question in a clearly more cheerful mood. “This one is to pile of trash. He’s saying that you seem to have a penchant for falling or almost flying situations, and is asking if you have any ideas on how to beat your record of falling without dying.”
“That’s…” Gon said as he widened his eyes. “Quite a good idea, you know that?” The golem said as he nodded to himself. “Yosh. Let’s settle a new objective. Finding ways to fall farther!”
“Just jump from a higher place until you die. I’d be happy with that.” Ashley said as she burned down the last card and smiled ferociously. “Well, that’s all good and done, so now I guess I can finally have a nice friendly chat with this… Author, right?”
As she slowly made her way towards the author while cracking her knuckles with her hands, the curtains slowly closed over the stage just as the characters all started to move away from the clearly bloody scene that was about to happen.
“Erm… You do know that anything that happens here have no affect on the main storyline, right?” The author said in a panicky voice as he slowly crawled back into the chair, trying to open some distance.
“The, I’ll at least beat the crap out of you until I feel happy enough for the me in the main storyline too.”
With those last words and a weep of fear, the curtains finally closed and the lights died off. After a few seconds, the only sounds to echo were the cries of pain from a certain author.